☞︎︎︎ 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝
☞︎︎︎ 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎\𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎
"Distance makes the heart grow fonder"
Y'all...
Disclaimer :
This is After smut. I am going to be writing sex between Tessa and Hardin, but in my way, and I hope it satisfies your horny ass.
Its going to be a long ass chapter and it might be depressing for those who read the After series and cried lots of times while reading. This chapter is going to contain some emotional shit so get your self ready.
This is from when they took a two-three year break from each other. When Tessa went to New York to start a new life in order to mend her life with Hardin.
If you have already read After, please read Nothing more and Nothing Less if you wanna understand the references that I make here.
The following is my imagination:
Hardin, not being able to handle the distance between Tessa and him, begs to whoever is listening for a release. A night with Tessa. It will not be enough and he wants to live his whole life with her rather than just a night, which is mostly filled with sex and sleep.
But he is the kind of guy that needs sex to live on in life, which he has not been able to get, ever since Tess left. He can't bear to handle sex with anyone else. He tried it. It didn't work.
All the calm he gets is when he imagines it is her and jerks off, but mind you, it is an imagination, it can only last so long.
When he is not able to handle anymore, he drives, going 25 over the limit, to New York. He needs this and he knows damn well Tessa does too.
He arrives at Landon and Tessa's apartment at midnight. He knocks gently on the door, hoping that it will be Tessa who opens it and not Landon.
He hears loud moans from what he presumes is Landon's room because the female moans he hears are definitely not Tessa's.
He has memorized every inch of Tessa's body, every little sound she has made in the time she spent with him will forever be etched in his brain, every tear, every smile, every chuckle, every giggle, every moan, was for him and him only. He wasted it. He wasted her. He forced his paws on her, chewed her and tossed her away like a piece of gum. She kept coming back, always having more to give even when there was nothing, which made him take advantage. When she gave up, refusing to believe that whatever they are will work, he finally understood that after all she has done for him, with him and only him, he also has a part to give. A part to contribute. She has given up after fighting hard. She is wounded and will take time to heal, but until then, he has got to take over and fight for her, until her wounds are healed.
He knew this. He still knows this. So he is fighting, unsure if he is fighting hard enough. But still fighting.
Hardin POV :
I sigh as I think about how Tess became after I came into her life.
I knock again and hear some shuffling on the other side of the door.
"Coming", I hear the familiar voice of my soulmate. My eyes become glossy as I play the word again and again in my head. Her voice is raspy and she sniffles right after she talks. Is she crying?
Landon told me she is crying everyday but not like this. Is she getting any sleep? Is she okay? Is she tired? Is she fucking okay?
"Shit!", I hear the voice of the girl who I have been deprived with for the last one year. A tear escapes my eye. I hastily wipe it off as I stand at the door, waiting.
She probably hit her leg into something.
I hear faint giggling from Landon's room. What the fuck! It's probably that girl he was talking about. Some Sarah. I think he is in love with her. She has secrets though. Secrets lead to lies which lead to heartbreak. I hope both of them don't get their heart broken because of the love they seem to be fighting for.
Finally, I hear the door lock click as it unlocks. I take a deep breath and brace myself.
It's then that I see her. As I guessed, she looks like she was crying. Her grey eyes which I love so much as now puffy and rimmed with thick black circles. The life behind her eyes that makes her look ten times more beautiful is almost faded but grows in size with every passing second she looks at me. I stare at her tear stained cheeks as two more tears escape her eyes. She doesn't bother to wipe them as her mouth falls open at the sight of me. I give her a smile and nervously fidget with my hands.
"Hardin", she is surprised as she jumps into my arms, engulfing me in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around her and snuggle my face into her neck and breath in her scent. A tear escapes my eye again. I have missed this. I have missed her. I feel her tears hit my shoulder as she sobs. I drag my hand up and down her back to comfort her.
"Tess", I whisper. She stops sobbing but I can still feel her tears wetting the fabric of my shirt at my shoulder, continuously. She doesn't stop crying. I don't blame her. She must have missed me too.
"Tess", I say again to calm her down. I turn her head towards me while still maintaining our hug. She looks at me as her eyes keep dropping tears down her cheeks. I bring my hand to her face and cup her beautiful face between my hands. I tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Her hands tighten around me as if holding on for dear life. Her tears come at a slower pace but still stream down her face.
I run both my thumbs under her eyes and wipe her tears away. It has been an year since I have felt her tender skin under my finger and the feeling of that alone, makes me burst and explode.
"Enough tears", I whisper as she gives me a small smile. I give her one and I open my mouth to apologize for coming here with no notice and in the middle of the night, but before I can speak she smashes her lips onto mine.
She kisses me with so much of passion and love. I hold her jaw in my palm and kiss her with as much love and lust. I can taste her salty tears in the kiss. I don't know if these are my tears or hers but it's not going to stop me from kissing her.
She opens her mouth, giving me access to her. I slip my tongue inside her and explore her mouth as if it's my very first time kissing her. My hands slip from her face and I run my finger down her neck and shoulders. I reach her waist and rub my hands on her hips and give her a light squeeze.
Both of us pull back from our kiss and she leans her forehead against mine and she breathes heavily. Her smile is huge, just like mine.
"I missed you", she whispers. I melt by the sincerity in her voice. I love you.
"I think me coming here is more than evidence of how much I have missed you", I end with placing a light peck on her lips as she chuckles. It's been a long time since I have heard her chuckle. A few more tears escape my eyes in contradiction to my big smile. I don't know if my tears are happy tears or sad ones.
"Enough tears", she repeats my line from before as she frowns and brings her hand to cup my face. She repeats the action that I did to her earlier as the pad of her thumb swipes on my cheek. My mouth hangs open as she stares into my eyes as her hands lay at my face with her thumbs at my cheeks. I lean into her hands as my eyebrows furrow in love for her. My love for her.
We stand there staring into each other for a minute until Tess opens her mouth.
"You can't stay here for long. It would ruin all that we have worked for in the last year", she says in a low voice. She strokes my cheeks with her thumbs to soften the blow of her words.
I should be wanting to touch her and fuck her and I want to. Hell, do I want to. I want to fill her with me. I want to listen to her moan my name over and over again. I want to see her come undone and I want to be the cause of it. I want my touch, me, to make her feel pure bliss. I want to be the reason she would be inching out of reality.
But right now, I am overwhelmed by the feeling of just being with her, standing with her, hugging her, kissing her, talking to her.
"I know", I sniffle and hold back my tears. Tess frowns. She doesn't let go of me. But she knows it is the right thing to do.
"Just tonight", she begs. She needs a release too and I will gladly give it to her. Just tonight. Just for tonight. Then I will be on my way, equal parts happy and sad.
"Okay", I reply and try to smirk but it comes out as a relieved smile.
I imagined it would be me, begging her to spend the night with me, but it ended up being her. I am not complaining. If she wouldn't have asked, I wouldn't have hesitated for even a second to get on my knees and beg her. I already did that a few times in the past for her to come back to me. Look where that got me. I am still sad that she isn't mine. But I am hoping if I give her the space and time she needs and is being vocal for, she will come back to me, someday. Someday. Someday.
I push those thoughts away for now and live in the present. She asked me to spend the night with her. I am not going to spend it sulking over why she isn't mine.
She unravels her arms from around me and I suddenly feel empty. She grabs my hand and intertwines her fingers with mine and closes and locks the door after both of us are in.
She doesn't say a word until she gets to her room. I can hear Landon and Sabrina are going for round 2 apparently because they are moaning loud.
Tess and I can hear it but none of us comment on it. Poor Landon has got someone to love. Let him love.
She enters into her room. I am too busy with her to even focus on her room.
The moment the door closes, she pushes on my shoulders. She pins me to the door and smashes her lips onto mine. Well, this was unexpected...
The second her lips touch mine, a fire ignites in me. The familiar feel of her lips fill me. I am bursting out at the seams and my bulge is growing with every inch of my clothed skin that Tessa touches. I am on fire.
We are in the privacy of a room. She misses me. I miss her. She would let me do anything to her right now. Anything. What do I want to do? I don't want to do anything special. As I said before, she fought and she is resting now, healing. If I could please her tonight, maybe she would get reminded of the love that we have. The passion. The fire that ignites in her when I touch her. She never gets that fire with anybody else. Only me. Only me and I will make damn well use of that tonight. I will make her scream my name tonight. Loud. Loud enough for everyone to hear. Loud enough for everyone to know she belongs to me.
Her hands grasp my shirt in her fists and she pulls me flush to her. She wants to be closer. I want to too. It seems that, however closer I am to her, it seems like it's not close enough. This is love.
I slightly lean down and grab her thighs in my hands. I bring her up to my torso and she wraps her legs around my waist.
I pull back from our kiss and place delicate kisses on her jawline. I nudge her cheek to the side and it drops. Her head falls to the side, giving me more room to place my kisses on her skin. I kiss her neck. She moans ever so slightly. It makes me want to do more for her.
I suck at her skin and revel in the way her skin turns pink from the suction of my mouth. I walk towards her bed with my mouth still attached to her neck.
I swirl my tongue on her collarbone. Her body shivers from the feeling in contradiction to her burning skin.
I am going to take it slow tonight. Self-control. Something that I never had when it comes to the woman that I am carrying right now. I am going to have my way with her. I am not going to let my lack of self-control get in the way of my perfect night.
I kiss a trail up her ear and lick her ear lobe as her head falls back.
Her hands around my neck, shift into my hair. Her fingers buried into my hair. She pulls a bunch of strands and moans as I gently bite down on her ear lobe.
"I have missed you so damn much", I whisper into her ear, sensually. Her breath hitches on a moan.
"Hardin", she moans out lightly. I have missed her saying my name. So fucking much.
"Yes baby, moan for me", I tell her as I softly place her on the bed. I tenderly push her back by the shoulders, gesturing for her to lay down. She obliges but pulls me with her.
I want to rip her clothes off but I vowed to myself to have self-control so, no. No ripping clothes.
She pulls on my hair to get my lips back to hers. I give her what she wants as I kiss her. Love and lust radiating from the kiss. I straddle her waist and pull her bottom lip in between my teeth to distract her from my hands, opening her shirt buttons, one by one.
She whines from anticipation and I chuckle into her mouth. I get the material of her body when she lifts her upper body just enough for me to get it off.
The sheets are black. Black. I thought Tess was a bright and cheery person. Black is totally her color but it's dark and twisty.
Her hand slips from my hair, which catches my attention. I push the depressing thoughts away for now as I pull back from our kiss just to see the gorgeous beauty underneath me.
She is looking at me with that look as I shamelessly rake my eyes across her tits. They are in a white bra, contradicting the black sheets, but there is something about the clash that makes it look so fucking hot and erotic. It's probably Tessa. She makes every damn thing look hot and sexy and she doesn't even try.
She tries to get her hands near my crotch. No. Tonight is about her.
I grab both of her wrists and pin them above her head and to the bed.
"Let me please you tonight. Let me. Please. I have missed you so fucking much. It's hard to even think clear. Please let me do this. I need this and so do you."
I tell her. I don't try it but my voice comes out filled with deep affection and intimacy.
She smiles at me as she thinks. She is probably weighing the pros and cons of this. She does that for everything.
"Please just relax and enjoy. I will do all the work", I beg of her as she thinks to maybe shift her judgement call.
"But I miss you too", she says quickly after I finish. I slip my hand under her back, she arches her back as if on instinct. I am proud to know her body still responds to me this way. I smile and unclasp her bra and throw it away.
I stare at her desperately. I don't know why I am waiting for her permission but I am.
Tess smiles and props herself up on her elbow and brings her face to mine and kisses me. I slowly lay her back down, handling her like glass. Like she might break any second.
"Okay", she breathes into my mouth, an answer to my previous question. I sigh into her and my hands wander around her body. Her fingers get lost in the mess on my head as her eyes close.
I remove my mouth from hers and disperse kisses along her neck and shoulder. I place tender kisses on her chest.
I reach her nipple and take it into my mouth. I lick it with the tip of my tongue as her body shivers with pleasure.
"Shit", she moans. Did she just swear? Wow! Haha... I guess people do change in a year. I just hope her love for me doesn't change. Ever. Never.
I massage her other breast with my free hand and roll her nipple with my index and middle finger. She moans from under me. It's been lot of time since I heard that sound. Shit.
I remove my mouth from her nipple and kiss down her stomach while rolling both of her nipples with my fingers.
When I reach her lower stomach, I leave her nipples and graze my fingers down the side of her stomach and waist. I reach her thighs and I am about to spread her legs apart when she props herself up on her elbows, catching my attention. I smile at her cuteness and she giggles.
"Continue. I wanna see", she says, urging me to go on. I shake my head but pull her underwear down her legs as she lifts her hips just enough for the underwear to slip down.
I sit on my knees on the mattress and pull my shirt over my head and throw it aside, all while maintaining eye contact with her.
She is panting and her cheeks are flushed as she smiles with wide eyes for me to go on.
I lay on my stomach as she cautiously watches my every move.
I spread her thighs and stare at her.
She's dripping and swollen.
"A whole year and your body still hasn't forgotten who I am", I whisper as I run a single finger down her slit. She shudders but her gaze remains on me.
Her mouth falls open as I apply pressure. I lean down and use my tongue. I swirl around as I look into her eyes. It doesn't take me much time for me to find her sensitive bud.
Her head falls back when I flick it and wrap my lips around her. Her long blonde hair falls down and hits the mattress.
She looks like a goddess. Hell, she is one. A goddess who has been destroyed by the Satan.
I push those thoughts away for now and focus on pleasing her. I have been pushing lots of thoughts away today but it's worth it. Everything is worth her. Everything. I wish I would have realised this earlier.
"Hardin", she moans out. She is so sexy. From under here, and with her on her elbows, I have the perfect view of her breasts. She looks amazing and that only urges me on.
I move my tongue inside her, a little faster. Her head comes back up and she stares into my eyes with passion, as I do the same.
I suck on her wet folds and her eyes roll back. Her lips are plump when she licks them.
"St-top", she mumbles out within her moans. It's barely audible and I pull back the second I hear her soft voice.
"Lay back", she instructs. Did she just order me around? I can't deny, she is truly hot. Her voice is bossy and I would love to point it out and make fun of her being all dom but not now. I will do whatever she asks today and for the rest of my life.
I get up and lay on my back on the bed. I don't have an idea of what she is going to do but the second her leg swings over my waist, everything becomes clear and the smile plastered on my face since I saw her tonight, only grows.
"I have missed you so fucking much", she says, breathlessly. She is panting and her chest heaves up and down with her breasts as she climbs up my chest.
Tessa stares into my eyes and she tucks her hair behind her ear and reaches for the head board.
She wants to sit on my face and she is not being subtle about it. The last time we did this, she had to turn off the lights in order for her to feel comfortable. But now, she couldn't care less about the lights. She is being completely open with me and I know that in the broad daylight, she will not do this. I have no idea if she will regret this, a night with me but I do know that I never would. Even a second with her is not worth regretting. I don't know if I can say the same about her.
To Be Continued...
Authors Note :
Hey guys. I hope you guys loved this chapter, and I know this is a smut book and there is smut in this chapter but the majority of it is emo shit. If it bugs you then I am sorry. I got kind of carried away when I was writing this.
This is my first time writing smut and also my first time writing a fanfic on Hessa. I enjoyed a lot while writing and I would say I did pretty good for my first writing this type of content, but of course, there is always room for improvement.
I ship Hessa and I love After. I personally am in love with Anna Todd's writing. When I was first was reading After, I did not know that it was 1D fanfic but I fell in love with the book.
When I reread the book, knowing that it is a 1D fanfic, the experience was totally different. It felt kind of cliché, but regardless it was amazing. I liked that Anna Todd always explains why the character is feeling what he or she is feeling. I suffered doing that. I learned how to explain the feeling and emotion with Anna Todd's writing.
I have very good vocabulary but I suffer expressing my emotion, or in this case, the characters emotion. But when I started to read After, I learned that there is more than one way to express emotion and feeling.
Well, yeah. That is it for my rant. See you later in the next chapter and stay tuned for part 2 of this chapter.
I may not focus on writing the part 2 but whatever...
With lots of love,
Melody <3