A/N: Hey everyone ^-^ so here's finally the new chapter!
I had the most amazing weekend in ages - but that's sadly also the reason why there might be some mistakes in this chapter :/ Before I'd read your comments on the previous chapter, I was seriously thinking about doing a two-weeks (or so) time skip in here (but I like this chapter as a continuation of Woosan-moments much better). However, that means that I wrote this one rather short-term-ish and didn't manage to let my beta-reader proofread yet or anything :(
(I'm definitely gonna edit it soon - I really tried hard to make it good enough to upload though; the wording etc. as it is of now is the best I could come up with so far)
To cut the long whining short: if you find any mistakes, please point them out and I'll make sure to fix them (:
Have fun reading, and I hope this chapter is worth the wait regardless! Ly🧡
When I enter San's and my flat again after dance training, San is already there, sitting on our kitchen sofa, his cheeks still flushed from the cold outside. He pouts. "You took long. I've been waitin- I mean..."
"I went grocery shopping", I reply, lifting the bag in my left hand - while my face heats up. I had hoped he wouldn't notice. I'd hoped he wouldn't be back already.
"Great, thanks." San beams at me - and then he hesitates. The smile fades from his face until he looks rather nervous. "I already ordered dinner though. For the two of us."
My stomach flutters a bit from the unexpected gesture. "That sounds good. What did you order?"
"Jjajangmyeon... It's one of your favorites, right?"
"Yeah, it's great. I like it a lot", I quickly assure him.
"Good." San exhales, sounding relieved. "It should arrive any minute, I think. D'you wanna sit?" He pats the free space next to him – and suddenly I'm feeling incredibly awkward with the way I'm standing in our kitchen, training bag slung over my shoulder and a bag full of groceries and fairy lights in my hand. "Actually... I was wondering if you'd want to watch a movie during dinner? I know you've got a lot of stuff to do for uni and everything, but I thought that just one movie might be okay..."
"I'd like that." San is smiling at me again, warm and dimple-y, and it feels like home. "We could stream something on my tablet", he offers. "Give me just a second and I'll get it!"
He's already moved past me when I manage a "Wait!" San stops in his tracks and turns to me again. "I", I take a deep breath, "I was thinking that maybe... we could watch it in my room? It'd be more comfortable than the kitchen at least. And..." I swallow. "And I bought fairy lights that I wanted to put up."
"You bought fairy lights", San echoes, and his lips form a pink, round 'o'. "For watching a movie?"
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How is a bunch of fairy lights supposed to make my room look any more inviting?
I hesitantly nod.
It's not a big deal if he says No, I try to convince myself. Sure, I wouldn't have bought those fairy lights if it wasn't for San, but- Yeah. It's no big deal. "We don't have to", I add quickly. "I'm sorry, it's stupid, it's just..."
San giggles. He fucking giggles, and then he tells me, "You're so cute, Woo."
"I- I what?", I splutter. No one has ever called me cute before. "I'm not, I just wanted to make everything, you know... special. I mean, I know it's not a- a date or anything, but I... yeah. I just thought it would be nice. Special. Yeah."
"'Special'?", San parrots. "What d'you mean by that?"
"I just think it should be better than the last times when we, uh...", I clear my throat, "when we did... stuff." Like when I sucked you off on our kitchen couch.
San's cheeks redden, which makes me wonder if he's now thinking back to the blowjob too. "You don't need to make anything special, Woo", he tells me. "It was all amazing. Remember how I kissed you in the party basement? Sure, the place wasn't super romantic or anything. But it felt good, it felt real, and that's all that should matter. That's all that matters to me. We don't need fairy lights or whatever." A beat passes. "I do like fairy lights though", he adds as an afterthought.
"Me too", I mumble.
For a moment, I'm certain that the movement San does is to reach out for my hand and pull me close and hug or maybe even kiss me too. But then our doorbell rings.
San lets his hand fall back to his side and blinks, disoriented. "Is that our dinner? Already?"
"I don't know, you tell me." I hesitate, weighing our options. "You'll go get the door and I'll go, uh... clean my room?"
"Alright. Sure." San turns to head for the door and I walk to my room - where the first thing I notice that I don't even have a hammer and nails to put the fairy lights up on the wall over my bed.
I've never been faster to clean up my room. It takes me about two minutes to diminish the chaos on my bed and floor, and another two to figure out that the fairy lights also look pretty and cast a warm glow when they're wound around my bed frame. Just this once, the socket on the wall is exactly where I need it.
"San?", I call out of my room when I'm finished, before stepping outside. San is sitting on our sofa again, two boxes of jjajangmyeon and two pairs of chopsticks on the table in front of him. He immediately looks up. "Are you done?", he wants to know.
"Yeah." I clear my throat. "You can come now."
He immediately gets up and hands me one of the food boxes plus two chopsticks. "Alright then."
It's only when I lead him the few steps to my room that I realize how fast my heart is beating. San however doesn't seem too nervous as he follows me inside. He grins when his gaze travels over my hopelessly overloaded desk, over my now spotless floor, to my shelf... then to my bed. "This looks nice", he comments on the fairy lights that now illuminate my bed frame in warm light, before walking over and sitting down on my mattress.
I'm still frozen in the doorway when San pats the space next to him. "Are you coming, Woo?"
"Yes." I finally manage to move. "Yes, sure." I sit down next to him. Pull yourself together and act normal, Wooyoung. I scoot backwards until I can lean my back against the wall. "I mean, it's nothing fancy, but..."
"Didn't we just talk about that?", San reminds me, scooting backwards until he's sitting against the wall too. "Oh, wait - so, look at this." He opens his styrofoam box. The smell of the black bean sauce immediately makes my mouth water.
"This isn't fancy either", San states, pointing at his jjajangmyeon portion, "but I don't exactly have loads of money to blow, and I like jjajangmyeon and I know that you do too. So it's fine, it's fitting – or what do you think?"
"No, I- You're right." The fairy lights illuminate San's hair in a kind of unreal warm rose hue that I can't take my eyes off, even as I open the lid of my own box to check if it tastes as delicious as it smells.
"It's good", I tell him after the first bite.
"See?" San beams, and more out of instinct than common sense, I reach out to him, with the intent to run my hand through his hair- Then I pull back again, because I'm suddenly feeling self-conscious, and San looks at me questioningly. "Everything alright?"
"I was just wondering... Why did you dye it pink?"
"Oh." San's cheeks turn pink too now. "It's, uh... kind of stupid actually." He turns his head to look out of the window – but just before I can tell him that I'm sure it's everything but stupid, he opens his mouth again: "Remember the first time Yunho, Mingi and Jongho came over? We played Never Have I Ever."
It takes me a second to recall the memories. "Yeah, right. What about it?"
"You..." San bites down on his bottom lip. "I already liked you back then... And that evening you said you have a thing for blonde people-"
"-guys..."
"... so... yeah. I wanted you to like me back", San confesses quietly, "or to notice me in a different way. That's why I dyed it blonde first."
He pauses, and I feel too stunned to do anything decent other than finally reaching out and running my hand through his pink hair. "You look pretty either way, Sannie. And to be honest..."
Shit, this is scary. Being honest is scary.
I take a deep breath in. "I like you no matter what. Blonde did look good on you – but so did black and so does pink."
San's eyes crinkle as he smiles at me. "I dyed it pink because I thought you were back with Jimin. So I didn't wanna be reminded of the fact that I'd dyed it blonde just for you – and I didn't want to go back to black either."
"Oh, so that's why..." Why San acted the way he did this afternoon, apparently.
"Huh?" San looks at me questioningly.
"Never mind, I was just thinking out loud." I send him a smile – and with slightly trembling fingers, I reach out to hold his hand.
Squeezing my hand affirmatively, San smiles back at me, and the look of fondness in his eyes makes me realize all of a sudden that I must be the luckiest human being on earth to have met him, and to be able to talk to him so openly.
"San." I scoot closer to him, carefully balancing my box with jjajangmyeon and the chopsticks in one hand. "You... you really mean a lot to me."
San looks taken aback in the best way possible. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is slightly agape.
"You're- ugh, give me a second." I have to retract my hand out of San's because my chopsticks are suddenly threatening to fall down and smudge my mattress cover with black bean sauce. I quickly bend down to place the box on the floor next to the bed.
We can still eat later on – but right now, the tasty jjajangmyeon are all but convenient.
"Here, can you take mine too?" San holds his box out to me, and as I take it and place it on the floor beside my bed... I wonder where this is going now.
When I sit down facing San again, he scoots closer. And closer, until he's almost sitting on my lap. "I don't know if you know how much this really means to me", he confesses. "But – thank you, Woo." His hand comes up to my face to caress my cheekbone and the spot where I think the mole under my eye is.
And then he stops after just a few moments, leaning closer instead, and I do too, because there is no such thing as being too close to San, and I want him to do something, anything so bad.
"Can I kiss you?", San whispers.
I only lean forward in response - until I can feel his lips on mine. They're soft and curious, like San is trying out how well we fit together, like he's trying to remember last time, the first time we kissed. His hands find their way into my hair, combing through it and tugging slightly, and I rest my hands on his hips, like I did last time when he was sitting on my lap – because now he's somehow sitting here again, moving slowly, not like he wants to make out the way we did when we were drunk but like he feels at ease with the way we are right now. Like he feels at ease with me.
And then he starts pushing me back, or rather, down, until I find myself lying on my back on my own mattress with San hovering above me.
Of course this is hot. Of course I want more of it. But I wasn't prepared for the thrill of excitement that rushes through me now that he takes control like that.
"Is this okay?", San breathes, slotting a leg in between mine to support himself.
"Yes, yes, it is, come on." I pull him down at his sweatshirt's collar, and then we're finally kissing again, and when I graze my teeth over his bottom lip, San opens his mouth for me.
I don't know how he manages to still keep some of his weight off of me - but the strain makes the muscles in his arms and shoulders flex, and I deliberately run my hands over them, down his back and then up again, trying to trail my fingers over all the little dips and valleys.
I feel weirdly fragile as I let San take a bit more control over our kiss, and then it's suddenly his tongue that's in my mouth, exploring it all, and maybe that should feel weird, but it really doesn't, and I use the time that San takes to adjust to let my hands run over his chest now too, a bit further down and then up again, because I'm not sure what he's comfortable with.
Some time later we're just lying on our sides, facing each other, sharing kisses with our legs entangled under my blanket. San is busy mouthing along my jaw, occasionally sucking, and I can't help the content sigh I let out every time he does this, even though by now I'm painfully hard in my pants.
Even so – this is perfect. It's just San and me, and nothing and no one else, and as I slip my hands under his sweatshirt to run my fingertips over his back, like I've done it so often in the past hour or so, I could easily imagine staying cuddled up with him like this forever.
And then a phone alarm goes off - one that makes San flinch and pull back abruptly. "Shit, can you- Where is-"
I run my hand down his back until I reach the back pocket of his jeans to take the phone out and hand it to him. '2hours', the display says.
"Shit", San repeats when the alarm stops. He sits up, looking slightly dazed. His hair is a mess, and I'm dying to run my fingers through it again. "I need to go to uni. They're closing the studios in two hours and I still haven't practiced today."
Wait, what? "Do you have to?"
San sighs. "Yeah, I do", he says after a moment. "I have to practice every day. Not for forever, but... at least until the auditions for the festival are over. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's alright."
Uni life sucks.
And it's not San's fault that that damn festival on top is kicking everyone's asses.
San leans down to kiss me on the lips. "I'll see you tomorrow", he mumbles – then he pauses. "Or wait. D'you wanna come with me? I wanted to record my lines for our songs soon anyway; we could do it today, together."
Shit. The recordings.
I freeze for a second.
"Uh. No- not today. I need to do some reading for uni first, sorry."
"Maybe tomorrow or so?", San suggests.
I swallow. "Yeah. Maybe." Or maybe not. I'll have to make up my mind soon. Maybe it'd be better if someone else would sing my lines. I don't know yet.
"Okay, sure." San straightens up before getting out of my bed – which is immediately followed by a loud crack and "Shit!" As I lean sideways to check what happened, I see that he stepped onto one of our two styrofoam jjajangmyeon boxes. Black bean sauce is now splattered over the floor.
"Shit", San repeats. "I'm sorry, Woo, I'll clean that up in a second."
"No, it's fine. Better go and practice", I tell him. "I'll take care of this."
"... okay. Thank you." Before I've got enough time to comprehend everything, San has bent down to peck me on the cheek - then he hops to the door on one foot.
In the doorway, he halts one last time – and it's only now that I notice he's got a boner too. Fucking bad timing. I should've jerked him off when I had the chance to.
"Let's... let's do the movie another time", San suggests. "My schedule is pretty full tomorrow, but maybe the day after, on Sunday? Or Monday- oh no, wait... um, but next weekend maybe?"
"We'll figure it out." I sit up slowly. "Good luck with practice."
"Thanks." San takes one more second in my doorway – then he turns around, hopping out of my room and probably to the bathroom to wash the black bean sauce from his foot.