There's a knowing smile on her face as I enter the house. Her eyes are bright with vengeance as she stares back at me. There is no longing or tears of joy at my return just pure hate and for some unknown reason it still hurts that the women I loved so much growing up hates my existence.
"¿Dónde está tu hermano?" She asks, wiping off the white powder off her nose without a care in the world. She was fucking high.
I ignore that raging pulse that beats against my chest as a stand by the doorway, "Do you care?" I retort, ignoring the way her eyes narrow.
She ignores me, "Did you miss me?"
My shoulders stiffen at her question, "No." I respond but all she does is smile at me with lifeless eyes that sends a shiver down my spine.
"Did you really think you could hide from me, Azrael?" She continues and I freeze, "You think I didn't know you were hiding out at the Kings?" She chuckles, "No seas estúpida, mija."
I swallow down my fear, "How?"
She ignores me again, "Has Lucio told you what he's been up to these past four years?" She taunts, standing up from her seat, oblivious to the way I analyze her. Santiagos words ring throughout my head, 'You look just like your mother.' My throat tightens painfully because he was right. She was beautiful even with the drugs and all the drinking, I saw her everytime I looked in the mirror.
My eyebrows furrow at her words. Me and Lucio haven't really even talked about anything yet but we would. We swore to eachother that we would. I didn't want to hear it from her or anyone else.
I shrug, "It doesn't matter."
She laughs, "No? Did he tell you about his part in Jai's drug trafficking?" She asks. Jai? Kaio's father? "Or the sex trafficking and prostitution?" She continues, she smile spreading at the horror on my face, "What about the illegal fighting?"
I could feel the blood draining from my face at her words, "You're lying." I rasp out, desperately.
"Ask him." She shrugs.
"You're lying." I repeat. "You're lying!" I scream, "Why are you doing this to me?" I ask, my voice cracking, "What have I ever done to you? Why do you hate me so much?" I ask, trying to find some type of emotion or reaction laying on her face but I find nothing.
I don't even notice how close she is to me until she raises her hand, bringing it down to connect with my cheek, "Cállate." She hisses.
It's weird. We always have these moments in our minds when where we just remember things. Example; when we were younger, I remember we were told to keep our hands to ourselves. Respect our parents. Love our parents. Don't hit our parents. It was something I always reminded myself growing up. Something I valued and cherished but right now in this moment, I could care less.
I realize I don't care anymore, I'll never be able to get her to love me. I'll never be the reason she changes so why should I care? I guess that's why I don't think twice before my fist meets her face. I don't even flinch at the screech she lets out as she collapses in disbelief.
I let out a breathless laugh as she gapes up at me, "What?" I taunt her the way she taunted me, "You can hit me but I can't hit you?" I sneer, watching as she glares at me with anger practically seething through her skin.
"Santiago told me something." I tell her, enjoying the way her face drops with horror just as mine did, "Papá is coming back." I continue, bluntly.
She pales, "You're lying."
"Ask him." I shrug, throwing her words back in her face.
I laugh at her fearful gaze, "Qué pasa, mamá?" I smile bitterly, "Afraid he won't love you no more?" I sneer, "He won't." I growl, "No one wants a good for nothing junkie whore that abuses her kids." I spit, enjoying the way her face reddens in fury. I didn't care if I was being disrespectful or if it made me a horrible person. I was done.
I watch as she rises from the floor, "And Lucio? You think he wants you?" She retorts back just as fast, refusing to stand down, "You're scarred and ugly from head to toe. There's nothing pretty about you anymore." She continues, "Eres asquerosa."
It takes everything in me not to flinch at her words. Especially since it was something I struggled with. I hated my scars and it was because of Rico telling me how beautiful I was every morning that I was able to get up out of bed or the way Lucio kissed every scar on my upper body when I tried to hide away from him because I was so afraid he wouldn't be attracted to me. I knew it wasn't pretty. It was why I kept myself covered up.
"You did this to me." Is all I say.
She ignores me, "Te odio."
My smile is weak this time, "I know." I respond, "And thats okay, I hate you so much more."
I feel my phone buzzing in my back pocket as I reach out to grab it. 11 missed calls from Lucio. Unfortunately for me, I'm yanked hard by my hair before being thrown against the wooden floor. I cry out as her foot connects with my ribs, the sound of a crack along with my scream echoing throughout the house I grew up in. "Stop." I choke out, coughing on air.
She doesn't. Of course she doesn't so I grab onto her leg as she brings it down again, pulling on it so she loses balance, "¡Déjalo ir!" She yells when I straddle her, yanking her up by the collar of her shirt so that she can meet my eyes.
I wince at the pain that aches throughout my ribs, "Papá is coming back." I tell her once more, hoping for some type of spark or remorse to flash throughout her face so that I can break it just like she broke me.
She stills, her face softening at the mention of him but there was still that fear swirling through her dark arises. "He's coming back." I whisper, smiling as her face morphs with understanding, "You're gonna pay for what you did to me and Rico." My voice cracks but I keep going, "After today, I'm free of you. I won't come back. I'll live my life, I'll take care of my brother and I'll be happy." I continue, "But you? You'll be lonely, maybe even dead after I told Santiago what you did to me."
I grip her jaw harshly as she tries to look away, "You could have still had a family. A husband. Everything. All you had to do was love me." I tell her, ignoring the tears that fall, "Why don't you love me?" I cry, "What about Rico? Do you know how it feels to have a parent that hates your whole existence?" I ask, "Abuela loved you. She would've been so disappointed." I finish and finally, finally her face cracks with an emotion that's not anger at the mention of her own mother.
She stares up at me with tears in her eyes, "Did you know that you're abuela use to hate me for getting pregnant with you at such a young age?" She asks and my brows furrow at her random statement. "She loved you. Not me. She hated that I had gotten pregnant but when you were born, it was like she couldn't stay away. I thought she had forgiven me but it was just you. She only tolerated me for you." She speaks as if she were living in the moment, "It's always you. Your father only tolerated me because of you. He stood with me because of you. Because he loved you. Rico loved you since he was born, ignoring the fact that I was his mother because his older sister was just so fucking perfect."
She sneers, "It's always about you, Azrael."
I stumble away from her in disgust, "I was just a kid." I hiss, "I'm still a fucking kid!" I yell, "You're telling me that you put your hands on me out of jealousy? You treated Rico like shit because he loved me?" I growl. "You're disgusting."
She throws something at me, missing when I move, "You took everything from me! You ruined my life!" She yells, tears streaming down her face. "I was happy before you were born. My life was perfect."
"No." I snarl, "You ruined your own fucking life." I could every single blood cell in my body light up in rage at her accusation. How dare she?
Her smile is bitter, "Ay mija." She cooes, "Admit it. You're just like me." I tense up, "Bad daughter. Bad girlfriend. Bad sister." She continues, "Then you'll get to my age and tell your kids the same exact thing only it's a little different. Still a bad daughter. Bad wife. Bad mother. Just like me." She finishes and it feels like I'm drowning.
I shake my head in denial, "I am nothing like you." I deny with trembling lips, "I love my brother. I love Lucio. I love my father and I swear on my life that I'll love my kids even more." I try, encouraging myself to be strong, "I'm n-nothing like you."
If she was angry before then it's nothing compared to now, "Stop lying to yourself." She hisses, her hand twitching as if dying to hit me.
I don't say a word, I just bite my lip as I chant to myself inside my head. You're strong. You're beautiful. Rico loves you because you're a good sister. Lucio loves you because he thinks you're perfect. Don't let her words get to you. I chant and chant in my head as I stare back at her.
She starts once again, "You're a horrible daughter." She repeats as if i'm a child who doesn't understand, "A scarred bitch of a girlfriend." She insults, laughing at the way I flinch, "And a piece of shit sister." She continues, "Say it." She demands.
I shake my head, "No."
"Say it." She hisses and when I don't she's hysterical, "Say it!" She screams, "SAY IT!" She screeches and I can feel the goosebumps rise along my skin in fear but I wouldn't say it. I couldn't because if I did then I'd have nothing left.
I feel my throat tighten as she lunges at me with something in her hand that I'm unable to catch until I feel something sharp stab at the side of my stomach that has me letting out a sharp pained gasp as I stumble back.
Her eyes are wild as she steps back dropping the knife that was just once in her bloody hands, "I d-didn't, I d-don't..." She stutters, "I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't m-mean too." Her fear is obvious as her eyes don't move away from my stomach.
"Did you..?" I mutter, "Did you just stab me..." My words are dissorted. I'm in disbelief as I stare at her hands. It hurts. I could feel every single bone in my body screaming in pain but most of all my heart. I shouldn't be suprised that she did it but I am.
I could feel my vision blur as I lean against the wall for support, ignoring the way she just stares at me in fear. I sluggishly reach out to grab my phone, fighting to keep my eyes open as I click on Lucio's contact.
He picks up on the first ring, "Jesus christ, Azrael. I've been trying to call you all day!" He yells, "Where are you?" He asks.
My breathing is ragged as I answer, "Lucio..." I whimper into the phone, "I...need help..." I struggle to say. My teeth clenching at the burn on my side.
"What?" He rushes with worry, "What's wrong, baby? Where are you?" He's yelling but all of his words are disorted as I feel my ears ring.
I hear my mom yell something but I just can't hear or understand anything as I cough, "I n-need help." I stutter out and then everything goes black.
Author's Note:
IM SORRY! BUT IT JUST HAD TO HAPPEN. LUCIOS SECRET IS OUT BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN. Azrael went back for closure and answer and unfortunately it went wrong. Sometimes things are better left behind and she just doesn't understand that but this will br her eye opener.
I'm really excited for the next chapter, it's going to be really intense.
PLEASE VOTEEEEEEEEE ! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
LOVE YOU AND I'LL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.