Finding My Sacred

Grandpa's Hands

I am four years old, my room is enveloped in pitch darkness, I'm startled awake by the presence of an older gentleman. He scooped me up from my bed, at first I could not see well, then my eyes adjusted.  I see a shadow of a cowboy hat. To me, it's my grandfather Shank Tsosie, my chay, which in Navajo is grandpa. His arms are solid, bold, his scent is that of a cozy wool Pendleton blanket. There is a sparkly flash, emitting from his belt buckle. It feels natural to be acquainted with him again. Only six months earlier, he picked me up off the back of his pickup truck. It was summertime, we were at a picnic in Arizona, he shared a bottle of glistening strawberry soda and we ate gumdrops. He was one of my first early memories. When I was three years old, I was sitting with my mom and dad in a sweat lodge. He sang with the medicine man as the reflection of  fire flickered on our faces,
Fast forward to six months later, as he held me, time ceased to exist, all was okay and nothing could ever harm either of us. My grandfather was a bold leader, who spoke his mind and was physically strong. We walked around the house in a timeless realm. It was dark, but when we entered the kitchen, the floor squeaked, as it usually did. He carried me through the living room, I glanced at the mirror on the wall and saw our shadowy figures. He finally, gently laid me down back in my bed and abruptly disappeared. I felt a longing for him, I wanted him to come back, then I fell into a slumber. At the time, my little mind envisioned this, my grandfather had passed months earlier. To me, this was a real event, we were in between the spirit world and the earthly world. As I look back now at this incident, to me, he was a being that had crossed over and chose to come back to say his goodbye to me. I could have also been taken to his realm, and that could explain some of my current clairvoyant abilities. I theorize, when I saw him lifeless, at the funeral, he knew how confused I was, so he came back to give me a sense of closure. A sense of, yes I still live on, I still exist somewhere, you were right. A rare divine event, linking the spirit and earth realms together.