A few hours after leaving camp, Cicero and Jade finally reached the outskirts of Morthal; a reclusive town hidden in the dense marshes of the Hjaalmarch reach. The swampy surroundings and thick fog made it difficult to travel but provided some decent protection from attack.
Jade groaned as she trudged through the mucky shin-high waters, her boots suctioning into the mud. Even though the elf girl didn't weigh much, Cicero was exhausted from carrying her. He had since shifted her into his back to relieve some of the strain but walking while hunching forward created its own set of aches and pains. He felt a wave of relief flow over him when he saw the docks of Morthal through the trees ahead.
"I hope you know," Jade protested while out of breath, "I'm not planning to pay for the wagon. It was your choice to backtrack. We could be in Markarth right now, drinking the finest mead at the tavern with the pay from these riches I'VE BEEN HAULING!"
"Completely understandable, Listener!" he called back to her, "But Cicero has no gold of his own. So perhaps we should just continue the rest of the trip on foot after a short rest?"
Jade clenched her teeth. Her attempt to be stubborn and punish him for the inconvenience was not worth the continued discomfort. She adjusted the pack of heavy treasure on her shoulder. That cart idea was starting to sound good all of a sudden.
"Absolutely not," she mumbled and reached into the small coin purse on her belt to feel how much money she had, "You will owe me for this." Jade cleared her throat. Her feet hurt so bad.
Morthal may have been a small town, but it was full of laborers and transients. It was a midway point between Central and Western Skyrim. Many goods were moved through there daily so it was a great place for merchant caravans to rest. Though, due to its marshy location, the town didn't smell very pleasant to outsiders. The constant state of high humidity drew a lot of insects and pests adding to the 'just passing through' nature of things.
Near the main road at the head of the town, several wagons were parked. Some were filled with merchant goods while others appeared available for rent. Cicero approached one of the empty carts and carefully laid the unmoving elf into the back. Jade followed suit, throwing her bag over both of them, it slamming into the back of the driver's bench. The owner of the cart, an older Nord, stepped around the side of the carriage.
"Where to?" he asked.
"Dawnstar," Jade sighed fumbling for her gold pouch. The driver's eyes darted over to the unconscious elven girl in the back. Deciding that the gold was more important than answers, he didn't comment.
Cicero pulled himself up onto the back of the cart to get off his feet, dangling his legs over the edge. As Jade counted her gold to pay, a curious guard for the hold walked over to get a better look at the living 'cargo'.
"What's this about, citizen?" he asked in a thick Nordic accent, his question directed to Cicero. Before he could reply, Jade piped up.
"Oh, that's just his young slave girl," she jested in a nonchalant tone. Cicero's eyes widened as he struggled to think of a response. The guard said nothing. The silence between them grew awkward.
"Your slave looks dead," the guard finally said flatly.
Cicero began feeling uneasy. He smiled weakly as he suddenly became light-headed.
Jade laughed, turning to the guard and placing her hand on her hip, "Oh! Well, my traveling companion here; he has this thing for dead females. Loves them. He's got another at home that he's been very good about upkeeping. You would never assume that she was centuries old."
Again, the guard said nothing. He just stared at Jade with his beady eyes through the holes in his mask. Jade smiled, waiting for his baited reply. Cicero's stomach churned. He wanted so bad to join in on the joke with a great retort, but the sudden cramping in his gut caused him to fold forward in pain. The guard glanced back at Cicero.
"What's wrong with him?"
Jade's smile dropped. She was disappointed that he didn't take her bait to follow the joke. "Him? About three generations of imperial inbreeding and a little over a decade of solitary confinement while Daedric Prince Sheogorath personally fucked him in the ass and didn't bother giving him a reach around. So, I'm sure you can understand why he's so 'mad'," Jade chuckled, leaning in a little trying to push the comedy.
The guard's silence was starting to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes darted over to Cicero, wondering why he also hadn't said anything yet. She had set up the jokes perfectly! Her comedic timing was flawless, and now it was all ruined. Sure, they hadn't been exactly meeting eye to eye lately, but she knew that Cicero was a stickler for puns and bad jokes. It was quite literally his thing!
Cicero groaned and squinted up at the guard appearing to be in pain. The guard squinted back. He seemed more suspicious than concerned.
"What's in the bag?" he motioned to the sack she had just thrown into the back of the cart. A couple of metal Dwarven trinkets had spilled out of it.
"That?" Jade was startled by the continued questioning. What was this? Some sort of shakedown? "UH-... metal. Scavenged for weapon crafting. You know, for smithing stuff."
The guard glanced back at Cicero again who was turning pale. The jester forced a smile and nodded convincingly while holding his arms around his stomach. This whole situation didn't seem suspicious at all! A 40-something Imperial costumed as a royal merry-man, a rather sexy Nord woman not-so-subtly dressed as an assassin with a Daedric sword, and a seemingly dead female slave of some ambiguous elvan race covered in wounds, along with a bag full of what appeared to be stolen treasures of unknown origin... nothing to see here.
"...Alright," the guard grunted, "No lollygagging. Keep it moving-"
Cicero finally opened his mouth to reply but instead, projectile vomited all over the front of the guard's armor. The wet spatter of the puke- made up of what looked like smushy purple berries, chunks of chewed fox meat, and bile- smelled horrendous.
Jade's eyes grew wide but she remained silent. Cicero wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and raised his head to look the guard in the eye, his lips tightly holding a smirk. No one moved, except for the cart driver, who leaned over to see what had happened.
The guard finally broke the awkward moment by drawing his sword, "By the Nine!" he gagged, "I should have you arrested!"
Jade quickly grew anxious. This simple encounter was turning bad quick and she needed to just get them out of the town... out of the eyes of the law.
"Please, forgive him! He-...uh, he's dying! Yes! We are taking him to Dawnstar to see his mother one last time before he passes! Terrible disease. Not contagious! But fast-acting, so we must leave right away!" she pleaded, hoping to have calmed the guard's rage.
Cicero popped his tongue as he swished the nasty taste in his mouth and nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yes!" he chirped, his voice slightly gargled. He swallowed hard and began again, "Oh, yes! Mother, Dearest Mother is awaiting dear Cicero's return! For, I am not long for this world. We must go, post haste if I'm ever to say goodbye to my sweet sweet Motherrr..."
Jade clasped her hands together in a begging gesture and nodded in agreement. The guard looked back and forth between them while holding a wide stance, his sword at the ready. The vomit dripped down his legs, pooling under his feet.
"Please..." Jade whispered, giving the guard puppy eyes, "Forgive the silly faithless Imperial. If I wasn't hired by his wealthy mother to escort him home... I'd have left him as skeever food a long time ago."
The guard lowered his blade and relaxed his stance while looking Jade over, "Wait a minute..." he said suddenly in a low tone, "I know you-"
"AH!" Cicero exclaimed abruptly, "YES! She is the legendary Dragonborn! The heroine of Akatosh! Dragon's blood courses through her veins! I've once seen her take down two- neigh, three ancient dragons at once with only 2 arrows and a single wheel of cheese!"
Jade stared in surprise noting the sudden shift in the situation. Who really knew how this guard recognized her... or what he recognized her as. She was boldly dressed as a Brotherhood member, carried a Daedric sword, had many bounties around the region from her previous work with the Thieves Guild... but yes! Dragonborn! That'll work. Perhaps that would distract the guard from recalling her lengthy criminal record.
"AH-HAHA!" Jade cackled loudly, "Indeed! I'm the one the Gray Beards foretold! Fear not, sir, for I am merely passing through. No dragons here. You're welcome!"
She climbed into the back of the cart; the smell of the puke finally hit her nose. She tried not to react as she took her seat on the bench and placed her hand on Cicero's shoulder.
"Well, we should be off, now! Thank you for your vigilant service to the hold!" Jade babbled.
"No, no," the guard said thinking out loud, "Not that..."
Cicero looked over his shoulder at Jade with concern as he slowly slid his hand down to his dagger. Jade noticed and subtly shook her head at him.
"Oh," she hummed, "Perhaps in passing, then! Driver!" Jade gestured toward the driver's seat, "We best be off if we should arrive before dark!"
"Wait wait-" the guard stepped closer, "No, I know your face..."
Cicero pulled himself up onto the opposite bench, "Maybe you both crossed in a mead-filled eve with a romp in the sheets? That's how we met," he jabbed his thumb in Jade's direction.
Her jaw dropped and her face turned a light shade of red.
"That's it!" the guard gasped, "Moorside Inn!" he motioned to the inn up the road, "It was a Fridas in Last Seed, if I recall..."
"I- I don't-" Jade stuttered and turned to the driver, "I paid! Let's go already!"
"Yeah, yeah!" The guard's mood suddenly pepped up, "There was some contract murder of an Orsimer bard there. I met you while investigating and-"
"...Skoref, right?" Jade said in a flat tone, finally giving in as the cart started to move.
The guard's eyes lit up, "You do remember me!"
"Haaa... yeah, I'm pretty good with names... uh- well- You've got some vomit on you there..." she pointed casually at his crotch.
The guard stumbled back, suddenly remembering his appearance. He stiffly turned away to assess the mess as the cart continued up the path away from town. Jade sighed in relief and looked over at Cicero. He waved playfully back at the guard and glanced back at her.
"Teamwork," he said quietly.
"Makes the dream work."