My parents stood in front of me, their faces held nothing but shock and surprise at my haughty demeanour. I mean, did they really expect me to pull them into my arms and cry? Could they not comprehend that I wasn't the same girl I was eight years ago? Eight years is a long time for things to change. The last time they saw me, I was an 18-year-old with big dreams. I was barely a woman. I was a child who broke by those who I loved.
Now I was a woman who was confident, powerful in her own right, independent who needed no man to lean on for support. There was nothing left of the girl who hid in the shadows. I was now the star that shined in the sky. I glimmered through the adversity that my family and pack had caused me. They couldn't even reach me, I was so high up. A part of me hated them for what they did, but if they hadn't pushed me to leave, I would have never become who I am today.
"Louise.. it's really you." My mother whimpered. The tears cascading down her face were never ending. "My baby, you're home." She sobbed. The fake facade of mother only reminded me of the mask my sister wore. Even tear was nothing but fake. I passed my father a look of disbelief. He was a smart man but was so wrapped up in her act, he couldn't see the reality.
I'm surprised that they had recognised me. My once raven hair was now fire red. It was long, curled and flowed down my back. When I was a teenager, I rocked a black pixie cut, not caring for the upkeep. My face, which was once filled with blemishes, was now crystal smooth. No longer did I look gaunt or sickly. My skin was now glowing. The skinny, fragile child that was once malnourished is healthy and curvy. My cheekbones were high, eyes hidden by long thick lashes. I could see that my presentation shocked my father. For he had never really given me a second glance.
"I go by Loretta now. Loretta Romano." I sighed.
There were gasps and whispers that came from the surrounding crowd. I knew people would recognise who Loretta Romano was. She was famous and one of the most sought celebrities in the country. I was expecting their shock. The girl that was once small and malnourished who caused nothing but trouble for the Pack was Louise White. The Beta's unwanted and shamed child.
I looked between Jacob and my parents, who were audaciously expecting a positive response after welcoming me home. Internally, I was scoffing at this facade. I knew Jacob was trying to show his pack that he had found his lost Luna. I'm guessing he never told them I was back because he blackmailed me. A part of me wanted to smack the back of his head for giving them false hope.
"Louise, we just wanted to say-" My parents blubbered.
"Do you really want to do this in front of an audience? Can we not have this conversation somewhere more private? We shouldn't discuss our personal matters in front of others. Wouldn't you agree?" Sarcasm dripped from my voice.I have an image to uphold now."
Both my parents slouched and hung their heads in shame. Jacob pursed his lips at my response. I could see he was expecting me to play along with his little game. All I could do was shake my head. He didn't understand I wasn't the same girl I was when I was a teenager. I no longer had that softness about me, that disappeared the minute the family and pack betrayed and discarded me that stood in front of me. I raised my eyebrow to Jacob, challenging him to dismiss my request.
"Pack members, thank you for welcoming our guest of honour. If you would all return to your activities for the day. You will all be able to meet with Loretta this evening at tonight's BBQ," Jacob bellowed.
Pack members nodded their heads. Some were walking away without sparing me a glance, others left while peering over their shoulders wanting to quick look as if I would disappear into thin air. No one re-entered the pack house. The only people I could sense were Benji and Lewis. Their heartbeats were strong and beating hard. I presume they were becoming acquainted with each other in ways that I didn't even want to imagine.
"The pack house is empty. Would you like to speak in my office or in the lounge?" Jacob asked.
"The lounge will be fine." I replied. I couldn't bear to be in that small room with these people. It was already suffocating enough being in the open with them.
Jacob took a hold of my father's side and offered him support while my mother stood on the other side where my father was holding his cane. I could see that the years hadn't been good for my parent's, both looked born and tired. They had aged beyond my imagination. My father's physical health looked like it was deteriorating by the day. Both of them had a strong smell of death and guilt that coated their skin.
I shivered at their scent. Honestly, I hated that my wolf's senses were getting stronger by the day. My wolf always had this ability to smell another's emotions. She was highly sensitive and intelligent. I think that was why I was struggling with my ex- pack member's and parents' behaviour. Their anger, shame, and disappointment were always misdirected. I wasted countless tears in this town.
I strode up the grey brick steps and followed my family and Jacob into the pack house. They had left the door wide open. As I stepped into the mansion, it was like it took me back in time. There was nothing different, everything was the same. They plotted the horrid beige fabric sofas across the open plan living room. The long pine table sat in the corner, where the matching pine chairs nestled underneath. The curtains were still the same brown fabric, and the kitchens were still made up of the pine cupboards and off-white counter tops.
My steps halted as I stood in the place, which made me feel like I had taken a time machine. The place was clean but just worn down. Everything looked neglected. Jacob had helped my father take a seat on one of the beige sofas and my mother hastened her steps to sit by his side. Jacob occupied open of the other sofas to the right and it was then that I made my way to the sofa opposite my parents. I could hear all but the clacking of my heels across the wooden floor. The creeks were subtle as my heel pushed back on the planks on the ground. The one strong pack house was truly falling apart.
I sat back in the lumpy sofa, my back was upright. I crossed my legs as I sat forward and waited for the two strangers I called parents to speak. I could see my leg wanting to pounce up and down from nervousness, but I placed my hands on the top of them to stop this from happening.
"Louise-" My father croaked.
"Please, John, call me Loretta." I interrupted firmly. I saw his hands clench at my words. He was never one to take disrespect, and I knew what I was saying was hurting him, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
"No, I will not call you Loretta, because that is not the name we gave you! You are my Louise, my little Dove!" My father shouted. My mother reached for his hand, running small circular motions around the top, hoping to calm him down.
I laughed. "Little dove? God... When was the last time you called me that? That seems like a lifetime ago. I mean, I can't remember when I last heard those words leave your mouth. Do you know what I remember, John?" I said as I raised my eyebrow. "I remember the words disappointment, shameful child, slut, whore, bitch... What about you, Margaret? What did you say? Oh, that's right. You said you cursed the day you birthed me. A disgraceful child." I tutted at them.
"Is it such a big deal to show me the respect that I showed you in my lifetime by asking you to call me the name that I choose for myself? Considering my sperm and egg donor did nothing else, that was good for me?" I asked.
Again, my parents hung their head low. I could sense that my words were like poison. Each word dripped through my mouth as a dagger digging into their guilty conscience. Both of them were sobbing at the words that I chucked at them. I felt nothing but a small sharp pain in my chest. I was only using the words that they had used against me all those years ago.
"Loretta, please listen to them. You do not know how much they have regretted what has happened." Jacob sighed.
"Hmmm, regret. What a funny word? What does regret get me, Jacob? All I feel is regret. Regret for having disgraceful parents, regret for having a mate who betrayed me, regret for returning to this godforsaken place?" I taunted.
"Please, Loretta." Jacob begged.
As my parents looked up, their eyes riddled with dark circles, the corners filled with unshed tears. I gestured with my hands for them to continue to speak. I didn't have the energy to argue with them.
"Louis- Loretta." My mother whispered. "I never thought I would see you again. I thought I would die before seeing you. I thought I would never get the chance to confess my sins. What I did..." she stopped herself. "What we did to you was unforgivable. When we realised you disappeared, I didn't realise what we had done. My wolf, she would beg for me to take you into our arms, for us to care for the pup that she loved so much. But I ignored her pleas. I thought I had the perfect daughter in your sister. I was so consumed with her I forgot about you. Your sister she demanded the spotlight, and I never realised how wrong it was. I fed her ego. I know there are no words, no actions that I could do to make this better or right, but I need you to know how sorry I am." She sobbed into her hands. My father was looking at his wife, stroking her back as she let the tears go. The shame I felt to my mother only increased. Just like Jacob, she shifted the blame towards my sister, not realising that it was her fault that my sister turned out the way she did.
"And you John?" I snapped. I couldn't bear to watch my mother's pity party. He closed his eyes. I could see the pain contort on his face as I refused to recognise him as a father.
"Little Dove, I loved you so much as a pup. I don't know if you remember the times when you would cry when you were about six or seven years old. You would always cling to my leg when you were frightened." He explained as he closed his eyes. "You were such a daddy's girl, and I loved that about you. When you became a teenager, it hurt me. When I thought you were sleeping around, it scared me. I was worried you were getting into trouble. My fear was that when you found your mate, he would reject you. I thought I had spoiled you too much. That's when I got firmer with you." He sighed.
"It wasn't until I heard a few of your peers and warriors whispering that you were hanging around with rouges. Some warriors were calling you pack-ranking whore." He closed his eyes tightly. "I felt ashamed of what they were saying. I couldn't dismiss what they were saying because your room was filled with many male scents. Your room always smelt like sex." A small tear escaped his eye.
"When I called you those names, I was angry at myself. I thought I didn't teach you the way of the Goddess. The little girl I loved so much was being ridiculed so much by the pack, who said you were nothing but trouble. I will admit that I took my anger out on you and it was wrong. I should have spoken to you about what was going on before assuming things." He hung his head. "Please forgive this foolish man." He cried uncontrollably.
I looked at the people who sat in front of me. Both of them had made so many mistakes. I couldn't disregard what my father said because, growing up, I had a better relationship with him than with my mother. My mother had always favoured my sister. She was a lot more confident and outgoing than me. My mother was always so blinded by my sister that she never truly saw me.
"How is it that pack warriors recognised me as the pack-ranking whore? How is it they recognised me as the one associating with rouges?" I questioned, with my lips pursed. My mother and father looked at each other, both with questioning looks to whether they should answer my question. "I want no more lies. Do you understand? The truth is all I demand!" I commanded.
My mother let out a small sob into her hands while my father sighed. "Leanne had been using your name when she introduced herself to people." Mother grunted out.
"But how did they not know it was me? I mean, I get we were twins, but she had a different hairstyle to me? There was no way that they could mistake me for her!" I exclaimed.
"Your sister had a lot of secrets. Some that we are still unaware of. We both thought she had longer hair, but she wore a wig. She, in fact, had the same pixie haircut that you had when she engaged in her activities." My father responded with pursed lips.
I shook my head and took a deep breath. How could my sister destroy my life like this? I could never understand what I did for her to hate me. She had popularity and friends; she was never alone. I just couldn't understand why she had to use my name to ruin my reputation.
"Do you know what she did?" I clipped.
"She would wear her wig with us present but remove it when she was out gallivanting with rouges, then she took your name. When she slept with the warriors and brought them home, it was your name that she gave. It was your room that she used." My father admitted.
A dark laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. I could feel something wet on my cheeks. I gently brought my hands to my cheeks, wiping away the tears that were cascading. My sister was diabolical. I shook my head at how naïve my parents were. They were both Beta wolfs. Both should have smelt that I was a virgin. They should have questioned me, rather than making assumptions. I knew what my sister was up to. My mother's protection blinded my father, whereas my mother only cared about her golden child.
"God, you may have called me the disgraceful child, but you truly gave birth to a devil incarnate mother." I huffed out.
My mother looked up and stared into my eyes. A simmer of hatred lingered as my words reached her ears, My father's, well they filled to the brim with tears. My father was looking at me with a small smile. Both of them had this look of hope spread across their face. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I frustratedly asked.
"You called me mother." She whispered in awe.
Fuck! She didn't deserve to be called my mother. What is wrong with me? Why on earth am I turning to jelly at their tears? Why am I so bothered by their pain? They never cared about me or my pain when I was growing up. I raised myself from the age of thirteen. I closed my eyes tightly. Refusing to be affected by my parents, my face became passive. Growing up, I always had a soft spot for my father. There would be times when my mother refused to feed or cook for me, when he would sneak into my room and leave me a small plate of leftovers when I was asleep. The only reason I knew it was him was because his scent would linger in the room.
"Don't get used to it. Honestly, I don't know what to say to either of you. I get my sister misled you, but neither of you sought answers. You were both Betas for crying out loud. You should have been smarter than a delinquent teenager. Part of me wants to blame my sister for the mess that she made, but you were adults at the time and you should have done a better job of parenting both of us." I huffed out.
"If I ever had children, there is no way I would have treated them the way you did me. You abandoned me with the pack following your behaviour! Even my mate rejected me because of the actions of my family!" I exclaimed.
Jacob's face lit with a glimmer of hope at my words. It was then that I pointed my finger at him. "Don't even think about getting any ideas. You are equally to blame for my pain. You were my mate. Your wolf told you to investigate and question the rumours, but you took them as fact. God knows how any of you lot were in leadership roles is beyond me!"
I pushed myself back onto the sofa and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Listen, as much as I hate you all for what you did. Truthfully, I'm thankful. If I had allowed Margaret to raise me, I may have turned out just as bad as Leanne. Thankfully, I left this awful place and made something of myself. I don't need or want you. There are no intentions on my behalf to reunite with you as a family. I will never forgive you for the way you have treated me. Your behaviour is inexcusable." I firmly warned both of them, my gaze unwavering.
"All we want is a chance, little dove." My father whispered.
"Well, I'm here for the next month, so we shall see how it goes. Truthfully, I can't move past the way you have treated me. I don't plan to stay here. I will be civil with you both. That's all you can expect from me." I explained.
"I understand. You are much more than my little dove. You have grown into a beautiful, strong woman. As soon as Jacob told me who you were, I looked you up. It may mean nothing to you, but I am extremely proud of everything you have accomplished." My father croaked out. I gave him a small nod in response.
The thumping of feet interrupted our conversation, entering the room with an all too familiar voice I could never forget. The voice did nothing but haunt my dreams. "I brought tea." My head snapped in her direction. My eyes catching hers, refusing to turn away. It's then that the woman dropped the tray and the cups and teapot smashed against the wooden floor. The hot liquid puddled as she looked at me as if I was a ghost.
"Louise." She whispered.
"Hello Leanne." I smirked, pursing my lips tightly.
Edited 09/09/2023