The switch happened when I was riding Harry.
My hips rolled forward, hands flat on his chest as I fucked him slow and steady. He was whimpering under me, desperate for me to move faster and let him finish, but I kept my pace. I wanted to prolong this. The night was only halfway through and I already missed fucking him.
"Your cock feels so fucking good..." I gasped, smirking down at him as I let myself pick up my pace just a smidge, "You were fucking made for me."
"Please... baby..." He gasped, whining again, "I need to cum."
"Not yet." I whispered back with a smile, slowing myself down once more, "You know how much I love torturing you..."
All night, I'd tortured him. I made him wait and beg to cum, I edged him and toyed with him. I took him to every limit he had and I pushed it further than he had ever experienced. The man was vanilla when he came to me and I wanted him to leave with a little spice. Apparently, it worked, because Harry was suddenly very much done being submissive with me.
He let out a frustrated sounding moan, his fingers squeezing my hips and sliding back to grip my ass cheeks roughly. He began to move me, suddenly, his hands lifting my hips and yanking them back down onto his cock. I gasped loudly at the feeling and he sat up to get closer to me, his mouth finding mine and swallowing up my cries of pleasure. He kissed me deeper than he had all night, his tongue desperate against my own, like if he didn't taste me he would die.
"Oh my god." I moaned against his mouth as he picked up the pace.
"I know, baby, I know it feels so good..."
My eyes rolled as I threw my head back, feeling my body light on fire at his words. His mouth dragged down over my neck and toward my chest, suckling red bite marks into my skin as he took control of my body. His lips slid back up, his tongue swiping out across my neck to catch a drop of sweat, and then he was back at my lips.
"You're taking me like such a good girl..." He murmured into my mouth, kissing me deeply again, and I clawed my nails down his back at the words. I hadn't been called a good girl in so long. It made me feel absolutely feral.
His hands were so strong and large. Within seconds he had taken control of the situation and was pumping his hips up to meet mine, fucking me harder and faster like he wanted to. I was good at being dominant and hadn't gone submissive for anyone since Luca. I expected the switch to feel strange to me, but it was natural. I was so consumed by the lust and the start of my orgasm rolling through that I couldn't find it in me to take control back. I wasn't sure I wanted to.
Harry reminded me what it was like to be a sub and all he had to do was grip me by the hips and call me a good girl. That man put a spell on me, the same way I had a spell on him all night, up until this very moment. We were in perfect harmony.
He pulled back from the kiss, breathing against my wet lips as my orgasm built, "Touch yourself for me, petal."
It was my turn to whimper as I reached between our bodies, my fingers finding my throbbing clit so I could rub circles onto it, waves of pleasure hitting me when I did so. I trembled against him and he started to fuck me harder, the sound of his skin slapping into mine and our collective moans filling the air.
"That's it, baby. You wanna cum?" He leaned down and swirled his tongue around one of my swollen nipples, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh, "M'gonna fill you up. Wanna see my cum drip out of your tight cunt... you want me to lick you clean?"
"God..." I shut my eyes and shuddered at his words, all moans and gasps as my orgasm hit me, and all I could do was nod and hiss out a, "Yes, yes, yes...."
Everything inside of me coiled up tight as he sucked a new love bite onto my breast. As soon as his teeth made contact with my skin, I was quivering and coming undone for him. I moaned loudly as my walls tightened around him, squeezing his cock as I came. He followed right behind me, his hands pulling me down into his lap harshly and holding me still. His nails dug into my fleshy hips and I could feel his cock so deep in me that I cried out as he filled me, just like he said he would. He moaned so loud for me, louder than I'd heard him all night, and it made goosebumps appear all over my skin.
Harry moved his hands off my hips so he could wrap them around my back, his palms rubbing up my spine and toward my hair as he leaned up to kiss me again. I slid my tongue against his, kissing him back deeply, wrapping my own arms around his shoulders and pressing my fingers through his hair. He groaned as I rubbed his head gently and I felt his fingers move to touch the back of my black bunny mask.
He pulled back from the kiss and our eyes fluttered open at the same time. He looked up at me so sweetly, his eyes gentle and kind, like a soul I'd known forever.
"Take it off for me." He whispered against my lips, touching my mask again.
I stared down at him, contemplating this, my heart fluttering in my chest. Many men have asked to see my face and I never obliged. Not once. I never wanted to or considered it for a second, but now, I did. I couldn't explain why I felt connected to him, but he was the first partner at Apartment X that I wanted to take it all off for. I wanted to bare myself to him.
"I want to see you." Harry pulled me against his body tighter.
I gave a tiny nod, watching his eyebrows raise slowly.
"Yeah?" He asked and I nodded again.
"For you." I whispered, watching his lips turn up into a gorgeous smile, all dimples and glimmering eyes.
He reached up and began to undo the straps at the back of my mask. His fingers were so gentle and unhurried, the complete opposite of the way they just felt on my hips when he fucked me senseless. He pulled the mask away from my face, his eyes taking in my features carefully.
Harry lifted his fingers to brush the hair away from my eyes, running a gentle fingertip over one of my eyebrows as he did. His hands were shaking and it made my heart pound, suddenly feeling paranoid that he didn't like what he saw. I felt as if I rushed into this, I didn't even think about what would happen if he didn't like me. What if he didn't want to fuck me now? What if the mystery of the mask was all there was?
His lips parted and he said something, but I couldn't hear it. He repeated it and I blinked down at him. He smiled brightly, but his eyes reflected something darker, something sadistic as he repeated it again. I shook my head in confusion, feeling like I was underwater. Then, finally, the words came through, loud and clear:
"I hate you."
I jerked awake.
I blinked in the dark of my bedroom, trying to ignore how hot my body felt as I gathered my surroundings, realizing that it was merely a dream. I threw the comforter off my warm body and sighed loudly, running a hand over my stomach. I tried to remember the words he'd actually said to me when he removed my bunny mask at Apartment X, but all I could think about was him telling me he hates me. My memories of the night I shared with Harry had been ruined by the rude words he said to me the other day outside of our shops.
The three words played over and over in my mind, and I thought I'd find myself getting upset by them, but instead I found that I was... throbbing. I groaned at the realization. I couldn't grasp why my hatred for this stupid man turned me on so fucking much.
My fingers crawled over the t-shirt I fell asleep in, making my way to where it was shoved up and exposing my stomach. I licked my lips and shut my eyes, imagining it was Harry who was running his fingers over my skin instead. His hands were fucking art. His fingers were so large and strong looking, and those rings he wore... he didn't wear them at Apartment X. Ever since I got a glimpse of them, I've wanted to feel them pressing against my throat.
I moved my hand down further, sliding it into my underwear so I could feel how wet I had gotten. I cursed softly to myself, letting out a quiet moan as I pressed my fingers into my dripping cunt. My eyes fluttered open, looking at the wall that I shared with Harry. I wondered how much he could hear through it... wondered if he would be able to hear one of my vibrators going. I hadn't used one on myself in ages, 'cause I had Finn to take care of all my needs. Now that I was determined to not use him for those things anymore... I had a drawer full of toys at my disposal. Hell, I had a shop full of toys at my disposal if I wanted them.
I ran my wet fingers over my swollen clit, sighing in pleasure as I began to rub it gently, reaching my free hand over to my nightstand. I yanked the top drawer open and pulled out the first vibrator I felt, which happened to be the U-shaped one that both vibrated and had a sucking mechanism on it right where it would touch my clit.
I turned it on as I let my mind run wild, both with memories of Harry and new fantasies about him that I couldn't control. I closed my eyes and thought about his large hands on my thighs, spreading me wide open for him. I pressed the vibrator against myself, running it through my wet core and then pressed it onto my aching clit. I moaned loudly at the contact, remembering the way Harry leaned over me and let spit dribble down from his lips to my cunt.
He had pressed his hand against me, spreading his spit and my arousal all over my cunt, giving a groan in satisfaction at how wet I was now. I didn't need the extra lubrication with him, but I enjoyed watching him get dirty on his own with no instructions.
I slid my vibrator inside of me, gasping when I felt the sucking part latch onto my clit, pulling the swollen bud into the hole. I moaned loudly, rolling my hips up against it as I thrusted it down into me.
I imagined Harry on the other side of the wall with his hand fisted around his cock, stroking it furiously. I hoped he could hear me. I made sure to moan louder just in case he couldn't. I wanted him to hear me. If I was being honest, I wanted him to be so overcome with lust that he breaks into my apartment and fucks me until I'm screaming in pleasure. My body jerked at the thought of it, at the thought of his angry self storming through the door and toward me.
He'd snatch the vibrator out of my cunt and replace it with those delicious fingers of his, "I can make you cum harder than this can, petal..."
And fuck, I bet he could. I moaned again, whimpering as I continued to press the vibrator into myself, thrusting it harder as I felt myself dripping down my thighs and onto my sheets.
My body froze up when there was a knock on my door. I snatched my comforter and threw it over my lap, slamming my fingers over the buttons on my vibrator to turn it off. I managed to turn the sucking part up and the vibrating part off. I gasped at the new strength of the sucking, my eyes wide when Finn opened my bedroom door to peek inside.
"Belly? Are you okay? I thought I heard you crying." He frowned at me.
I pressed my lips together to try and contain the moans that wanted to release from my body, nodding my head at him and managing to whine, "Uh-huh."
He tilted his head slightly, stepping inside of the room and closing the door behind him, "You sure? You wanna talk?"
He must have just recently gotten back from closing down the bar. He looked gorgeous, his hair wet from his usual post-work shower, his full lips all pouty as he came over to sit on the edge of my bed.
His eyes turned down to my chest and I was sure he was noticing that my nipples were hard, poking through the thin shirt I was wearing. He also seemed to notice then that my hands were under the comforter. I froze again, not moving them an inch, but the sucking on my clit was enough to make me start to shake.
"What's that sound?" He murmured, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up into my eyes.
Holy fuck. I was gonna cum. My lips parted and I could feel my face flushing as I met Finn's eyes, seeing the realization finally settle in. I know I told him that we were done sleeping together. I knew that I should stick with that direction of things. I also knew how much it would piss Harry off to hear me being fucked against the wall that we shared.
"Fuck, Belly..." He mumbled, shaking his head as he stood up off the bed, "I'm sorry... I-"
I made the decision quickly, before I could think about it too thoroughly and talk myself out of it.
"You can stay." I gasped out, pulling a hand out of my comforter so I could grab onto his wrist lightly to stop him.
"If you want to." I added in a whisper, watching him turn to look at me again.
His lips turned down slightly and I could see him battling with himself on what to do. I hoped he would let his dick drive his thoughts on this one. I didn't want to fuck him for myself, I just wanted to fuck him to fuel the fire in my game with Harry. I knew it was messed up. I knew it was downright awful of me, but I couldn't make myself care. It was just sex to him, anyways.
"You said that we shouldn't do this..." He started to say, but he didn't pull away from my grip. His eyes flickered down to look at my comforter as it moved when I started to thrust my vibrator again, giving up on trying to hide that I was touching myself.
"I lied." I gasped out, and he shook his head, licking his lips quickly. I gave his wrist a gentle tug and he gave in to me.
Finn ripped the comforter off my body as his lips found mine, kissing me deeply as his hand knocked mine away from the vibrator that was nestled inside of me.
"How close are you?" He whispered against my mouth, pressing the button to turn the vibrating part on. I gasped loudly and he smirked, leaning in to kiss me again, swallowing up my moans, "That close, huh? You wanna cum, pet?"
I nodded against him, whimpering as he began to control the vibrator for me, thrusting it in and up, just the way I liked it. He knew my body so well and I think I'd miss that most of all-the way he could read every gasp and moan and know exactly how to intensify it.
"Fuck, fuck..." I cried out, grasping onto him and throwing my head back as an orgasm rolled through my body. I was shaking and moaning, and I opened my eyes to look at the wall Harry and I shared. I came hard, picturing him on the other side of it.
Finn gave me a second and then slid the vibrator out of me, bringing it up to his lips so he could suck it clean. I watched him do it, my eyes heavy with lust when he dropped it onto the bed and dove down to kiss me again. I pressed my tongue into his mouth desperately, tasting myself there.
"C'mere." He mumbled, his voice all low and gentle, and he grabbed onto me to help me straddle his lap.
His lips trailed over my neck, moving along the tender skin there and leaving goosebumps in their wake. His hands gripped onto my hips, rocking me against him so I could feel how painfully hard he was for me.
"Fuck me against the wall." I murmured, tugging on his hair to pull his head back slightly to look down at him as I gave the request. It came out more like an order, but I knew that was okay, because Finn did very well with orders.
He stared up at me, his fingers pressing into the small of my back as I rocked into him again, feeling his hard cock twitch under me.
"Are you sure about this?" He whispered. Always the nice guy. Always making sure I was okay. Always sensitive to my emotions.
I didn't want that right then. I wanted it hard and rough. I wanted my face shoved against the wall while I let my fantasies take over. I wanted to forget it was Finn fucking me and pretend it was the asshole next door.
I clenched my jaw and pulled off of his lap quickly, reaching down to tug my shirt off. His eyes fell to my chest, then down further as I slid my wet underwear off my body, leaving them on the ground. I stepped toward him and grabbed his hand, guiding it between my legs as I leaned down to kiss him again. I moaned into his mouth as he slid his fingers in-between my slit, pressing them right up into me with no hesitation.
"Does that answer your question?" I mumbled, feeling him nod against me as he moaned softly at how wet I was.
He was standing up then, his mouth taking over mine with deep, persistent kisses, his fingers starting to work faster as he thrusted them in and out of me. I moaned louder than before, reaching down to start yanking his underwear off, letting them fall onto the floor. He stepped out of them and slid his fingers out of me, bringing them up to my mouth and offering them to me. I met his eyes as I sucked his fingers clean, pulling his body against mine after so I could kiss him again.
Fucking Finn again felt like going home. It was easy and comfortable. We knew each other so well, knew what the other liked and didn't like, knew exactly what type of partner to be for the other. I not only finished first, but I also finished multiple times with Finn and he always made sure of that. He was a fantastic lover, but I couldn't let myself dwell on that too much, or else the steel around my heart would begin to melt down and he would get back in. I couldn't allow that.
I turned away from him, pressing my palms up against the wall and parting my legs for him. Finn followed behind me, one hand grabbing onto my hair gently so he could kiss and suck at one side of my neck as he rolled a condom on quickly. I stared at the wall as I waited, panting heavily as I pictured Harry on the other side of it.
I would have killed for him to see me right then, pressed up against the wall and panting like a whore for my roommate's cock. I knew it would drive him crazy, I knew he would hate it and I also knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from getting turned on as he watched me get fucked. No matter how angry he would be, he would love it. He would love the eye contact I would give him as I fucked another man.
My cunt was throbbing with such desire that it nearly hurt and I slammed my hand down against the wall when Finn pressed his large cock into me. My moans were loud, louder than they needed to be, louder than they usually were. I had to make sure Harry heard. If he was going to claim he hates me, I might as well make it worth his energy. He thought he knew what hating me was, but he didn't. He was really going to fucking feel it now, I would make sure of it.
Finn moaned as he gripped onto my hips, pulling out of me slowly and then slamming his length back into me. I cried out in pleasure again, turning my head to look at him.
"Fuck me harder. Make it hurt." I ordered him, watching him glance up from where he was watching his cock slide in and out of me. He looked like he was about to protest, but he didn't, he just reached a hand up and gripped the back of my neck instead, pushing my face against the wall.
"Yes... fuck, just like that..." I moaned when he began to slam into me, his hips roughly making contact with my ass with each thrust. I kept my feet braced against the floor as sturdy as I could, but I felt like I was going to crumble from all the pleasure he was sending through me.
He slid the hand that was holding my hips around in front of me, pressing his fingers to my clit and starting to rub quick circles onto it, which made my entire body start to shake. My fingers clawed at the wall as I gasped and moaned, his harsh thrusts sending me driving into the wall over and over again.
"Finn... fuck! Don't stop... right there, right there..." I smirked as I moaned the words loudly, staring right at the wall like a crazy person, just knowing that Harry was listening. I could feel it.
My mouth watered at the idea of him with his back to the wall, his eyes shut as I moaned another man's name, his glorious hands stroking his hard cock. I shut my eyes as I thought about him, imagining it was his cock slamming into me and his talented fingers bringing me to orgasm. It wasn't fair to Finn, but I couldn't make myself care just then. I wanted Harry so badly that it was taking over my dreams, my masturbation sessions, my everyday thoughts. I had to fuck him out of my system but I feared that actually fucking him would be the only thing to cure me. And I was not a homewrecker.
My lips parted as pleasure rolled through me, tensing up in my stomach as I began to press back against Finn's hips, listening to the slapping of our skin together. His lips trailed over my shoulder blades and across my back as my orgasm hit, my lips forming a name as I came harder than I have in a long time.
But the name was not Finn's.
His thrusts stopped instantly.
"What did you just say?" He asked, panting loudly, pulling his cock out of me and stepping back.
I stayed where I was, trying to control my breathing as I stared at the wall. This was not good.
"Nothing. Are you good?" I turned so my back was against the wall, looking at him, "Do you want me to-"
"Did you just say his fucking name?" Finn pointed at the wall so I would know who he meant.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I did. I said Harry's name. I murmured it as fantasies of me with him flooded my mind, as my orgasm hit and I pretended it wasn't Finn behind me. I've never done that before. I didn't think I was capable of thinking about anyone else when I was with Finn because I... because I thought I was so in love with him that nobody else mattered. And nobody ever did matter.
Until Harry came back into my life.
"What? No." I made a face, shaking my head and trying to lie through it. I reached up and touched my earlobe as I spoke and Finn's eyes went all wide.
"Oh my god, you did! You always touch your earlobe when you lie to me!!" He raised his voice, his face turning red. I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or from anger. I figured it was probably both. He turned away from me and looked at the floor for his boxers.
I stayed silent and watched him toss the empty condom and pull his boxers back on. He didn't look at me the entire time. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to justify it. I fucked up and I felt terrible. If Finn did something like that to me... I would have an absolute meltdown. Nobody would see me for days.
"I didn't mean to..." I said softly, shaking my head, "I swear, I don't know what happened... I'm so-"
"You just moaned another man's fucking name, Arabella!! While I was inside of you!!" Finn shouted at me, looking distressed, his eyes wide and his hands shaking. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick out in all directions, "I can't fucking believe you. I know you're pissed at me, but this isn't..."
"No, Finn, no! That wasn't some revenge thing, oh my god, it was a mistake and I'm sorry!" I moved toward him, trying to touch him, but he pulled away, his eyebrows pulling in.
"That's not a mistake." He said softly, shaking his head at me.
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I saw the disgusted look on his face. I suddenly felt very naked, in more than one way. I reached over and grabbed a throw blanket off my bed, holding it in front of my body to cover myself as I forced my tears back.
"Yes, it was!" I insisted, "A really shitty, terrible mistake but still a mistake, I swear."
Finn just shook his head as he looked at me like he didn't even know me. It tore me down to my core to receive that look from him. It felt like he had just taken a knife and thrust it into my chest with that look. Like I was a fucking stranger.
"I thought you hated him!" He finally blurted out, "And now you're... you're fucking fantasizing about him when you're with me?!"
"No, I do, I do hate him!!" I snapped, "I do fucking hate him, I didn't mean to..."
"But you did! Arabella, you fucking did!!" He shouted back, stepping away from me and toward the door, "You were right. We're done doing this shit. If you want to fuck him so bad, then do it, but don't ever fucking use me like that again."
"I don't want to-"
"I'm not interested in hearing your bullshit right now." He turned to the door and yanked it open, "I'm gonna go sleep at the bar."
"Finn, please, I'm so sorry..." My voice broke as I said the words, knowing there was nothing I could do to ever take that back. I couldn't believe I did it and I didn't know how to fix it.
He glanced back at me sadly, "Just stay away from me for a bit, yeah? Need to clear my head."
My body started to shake as he turned and walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. I stood there, frozen in the middle of my room, staring at the door he'd just walked through. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I was in shock that any of this even happened.
I wanted Harry to hear me and get jealous, but I never wanted Finn to become a victim in the crossfire. I never wanted to hurt him like that. I couldn't think straight and I found it suddenly harder to breathe. I dropped my blanket so I could put my underwear and t-shirt back on and then wrapped it back around my cold body. I heard the front door open and shut loudly and knew Finn was gone. My chest tightened at the sound of him disappearing.
A panic settled into my chest as I began to move through the empty apartment, going to the bathroom in silence like a zombie. Jagger appeared in front of me, meowing out a whine. I reached down to try and pick him up, but he hopped away and glared at me as he did so.
I walked to the window and looked out across the street at the beach, deciding that a little time alone there would do me good. I needed fresh air... I needed to get the fuck out of this empty apartment.
I moved quickly, running down the stairs and out into the chilly night air. I stared at the beach across from me, dark at this time, the waves loud in the quiet of the night. I couldn't think straight as I moved, barefoot on the cold boardwalk and then into the sand of the beach.
The wind off the ocean was cold at this time, but the air felt good on my burning face. I inhaled a shaky breath, staring blankly out at the water. I pulled my blanket tighter around my body before I sat down in the sand.
I loved Finn. I loved him so much and I couldn't believe I got so fucking deranged by my anger and lust for Harry that I let myself use him like a pawn in our stupid game. I waited for the tears to come with the giant crack down my chest, but they never did. I couldn't cry. I could only fixate my eyes on the waves as they crashed against the shore, over and over again.
My face was starting to go numb from the strong ocean breeze that was whipping into it. I wanted to hurt myself in a different way, but found that this worked, too. I decided that I would force myself to sit there until my whole body was numb from the cold. It would be my punishment.
I heard footsteps behind me and knew it was Harry approaching me before I saw him. I heard him curse at the cold wind right before he plopped down in the sand next to me. His body was radiating warmth and I forced myself not to move any closer towards him to gather some of it. I could smell the whiskey on his breath as he spoke.
"Feel like sharing that blanket, petal?"