"Tom... Where were you a river guide?" Dan asks tired.
"San Dimas." Tom says making me want to get up and strangle him.
"Raging Waters?" Jerry says.
"Yeah. They had some serious rapids there, man." Tom answers.
"What, class, toddler?!" I shout at him.
"Hey, I was employee of the month of the Monsoon Lagoon." I throw my head back while they all blame whose fault it is for us getting here.
"Hold on a sec, Tom. We're you really employed of the month?" Jerry asks.
"No. I lied about that, too." He tells us the truth.
"Let's just go home." Dan shouts.
"I agree. That's a great decision. All we gotta do is jump up over that 100 foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get to the sheriff on the phone... He likes us. I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat." I grab Dan turning him to the waterfall.
"Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool. Look at this it's cold." Tom takes it out of the water. While Dan loses his mind, I look at the wedding ring on my finger. Jerry said he still had Billy's compass so we walk south.
"Hey that sounds like Creed." Jerry says.
"I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed." Tom says and as we get to the top we see lights.
When we get closer we realize it's the two guys from the river. Dan or either Jerry kicks a van making them know someone is here. "That's a gun." I whisper as we go to hide. "Holy hell." I see the whole shed was full of weed with Tom.
"Hey. These guys are pot farmers." Tom lets Jerry and Dan know.
"What? How do you know that?" Jerry asks so we point it out.
"We should go." Jerry says.
"No shit." I whisper shout at him.
"What are you doing?" I see Tom opening a package.
"I'll write you a prescription. Let's go." Dan tells him as we tell him let's go.
"All right." He comes over making noise.
"Tom!" I growl at him.
As we get ready to leave the dogs show up then the guys. "Hey, guys, um... Listen. We don't want any trouble. Um, we just got lost in the river, you know? Hey, can we use your phone? And... And... Who cares, you know?" Dan says right before they start to shoot at us.
I hiss as I feel a bullet grazed my side as I leap to hide with the guys.
"Let's go through there." Tom points at the wall.
"Where? There's no door." Dan says and the guys look at each before throwing him through the wall.
"Pick him up faster. You giants should have no problem." I shout at them as they grab Dan.
"What do you do?" Jerry asks as Dan set something off.
"Why are there flares?" He asks as we all look us.
"Great mother of ganja." We see a field of them growing pot. The gunshots making us run again but as the field catches fire we start to crack up getting high.
"I never thought I'd die with you losers!" I laugh running.
"It's not so bad." Tom laughs.
"You guys gotta promise my you'll never tell my patients that I got stoned, because if they found out I got stoned, they'll think that I'm a stoner. The next thing you know, I won't have a license anymore. They'll take away all my instruments and my coat and my office, and I won't have... a parking space anymore." Dan cries while we laugh at him. "I lost my legs." He falls straight down.
"You gotta move your legs." We tell him helping him back up.
"They have laser scopes. They had you pinned." Jerry says as we stop to the side.
"Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously. I will give you four cows for Denise's hand in marriage." Tom laughs in a Indian accent.
"Keep moving." I laugh pushing them forward. We look at Dan as he gasps and lean backs mocking the Matrix before running with us again.
We all run into a pond and panic trying to figure out how to hide. We grab a plant that looked like a huge straw so we put it in our mouth and use it like a snorkel. We listen to them yell and come up when we no longer hear them.
"It crawled straight in my stomach. I think it laid eggs in my stomach." Dan coughs as we all get out to keep moving all night.
~
"You think they're still following us?" Dan asks.
"I don't wanna stop and find out." I hiss as my hand hits where the bullet grazed me.
"I think we can slow down. I haven't heard dogs or guns for hours." Jerry says after some time.
"Yeah? You slow down... Get a stick of dynamite up your ass." Dan tells him.
"Calm down, Daniel, we're gonna be all right." Jerry says passing him up.
"No, we're not, Jerry. We could really die out here. Man, I can't believe that I would listen to you guys. Let's go take Billy's trip. Let's... let's find D.B.'s treasure. I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope." Dan starts to lose it again.
"Is he all right?" Jerry looks at Tom and I.
"Is he having a panic attack?" Tom asks.
"I think his is." We stare at him.
"That's great. Make jokes. That's a really good idea. Is this living in the moment enough for you, Jerry? Is this the carefree life with no response that you wanted? Is this the great wilderness adventure that you were dreaming of?" Dan asks.
"How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me." Jerry walks up to him.
"Be scared." Dan says so Jerry said he is.
"Well, then act like it! It is very confusing to people in your life when you don't act the way that you're feeling! No wonder Denise is fed up with you." Dan says making Jerry grab him.
"Hey, hey. That was uncalled for." I step between them and Tom pulls Jerry back.
"No, you staying with an abusive ass is uncalled for. You married a man who was just like your father." He snaps making me grab him by the shirt. "You little weasel." I growl but Tom steps in making me let go of Dan's shirt.
"Take it easy." He tells him.
"You take it easy. Mr. Joe-tattoo. Mr. Motorcycle-man... Mr. Super-cool, Mr. Bullet-wound... Oh, my... Tom... You got shot." Dan says and we see Tom's arm. Dan says he'll stick it up.
"What's wrong with you?" Tom nods his head at where my hand was.
"Just a bullet grazed me." I lift my shirt to show them.
"That will need stitches too." Dan tells me as I sit down next to Tom.
"Did I see you have a lower back tat?" Tom leans closer to me whispering.
"Ugh, yes." I roll my eyes.
"Thought you weren't getting any other than the one on your wrist and ankle?" He laughs.
"Park, you got another tattoo?" Jerry asks.
"I got four more." I tell them and Jerry starts to apologize to Dan.
"Tom, I think you're buying with all that Harley money." Jerry sits with us.
"I'm sorry, I, uh... That whole thing was an exaggeration." Tom tells us.
"What, you don't make that much?" Jerry asks.
"No, I don't sell Harleys. In fact, uh... The only thing I've sold lately is some clothes and CDs. They weren't not even mine." He chuckles.
"Tom, that's not an exaggeration. That's a lie. You know you lie a lot." I laugh.
"I know." He sighs making me rub his good arm.
"What happened?" Dan asks him.
"Well, first it was blackjack. Then the cards went south. So then I started betting football and baseball. I lost everything. What'd I expect? I got no luck. It's like my old man used to say. Family curse. If we didn't have bad luck, we wouldn't have luck at all." Tom explains so Jerry and him talk about how he's not like his father.
"Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter. Tom... you have a lot more going for you than you think you do." Dan tells him.
"That's easy for you to say Dano. You're a freaking doctor. I mean, you got a big old bank account, a ginormous house, big, think red hair." Tom tells him and Dan them says he develops a new fear like every day.
"Your turn Park." Tom and I swap places.
I turn the other way since he needed my right side then roll my shirt up and lean back a little so he could get to it. "What's the story of this baby." Tom points at the tattoo on the side of my left abdomen.
"It's a sad story." I sigh.
"We just talked about sad things." He looks at the tattoo.
"I lost a baby... Because of Rick." I sigh closing my eyes.
"Because of Rick?! How!?" Jerry shouts.
"I was scared to tell him and when he found out he was pissed. He told me to get rid of it and when I said I wanted a baby he did anything to make me lose it. He succeeded so I got a tattoo. Which pissed him off because he hates that I have tattoos. If you have tattoos you're just a tramp and dirty." I mock him.
"You're a tramp... HA!" Tom laughs.
"What's funny about that?" Dan asks.
"Our Park has a tramp stamp." Tom laughs.
"Hey, it made me more money at the strip club." I laugh.
"Where are your other tats?" Tom asks.
"Right shoulder/ collarbone, and sternum." I tell him and gives me a side smile.
"Done." Dan finishes as we hear his phone ringing. "Hey, would one of you guys grab my phone. My..." We look around then the guys take off.
"Wait guys!" I rush after them then the bear roars making them run back.