- TAEHYUN -
A week of school had finally passed and it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Back in eighth grade, Taehyun wanted nothing more to get out of the public school and go back to his private school. He didn't particularly enjoy anything back then. Now, he realized that he needed to start trying to enjoy public school, since he didn't know how long it would be until he went back to his private school. The thought of not transferring back to the private school had crossed his mind, but he hoped that would not come true. He just needed to be patient for a little bit longer. His mother knew how bad he wanted to go back. His father had previously stated that public schools were filled with nothing but lazy students. If his father knew back then that his son would've had to gone to a public school, he would've been kicking himself. Everything ended up backfiring on him and here they were, broke and living in a crappy apartment. Taehyun couldn't believe how far they had fell in just six months.
One good thing about the public school was that the schoolwork wasn't as rigorous. Taehyun had learned the majority of the concepts that they briefly went over in a few of his subjects. He always enjoyed school, so learning came easy to him. He was at the top of his class back in his private school filled with intelligent students. Taehyun was sure that he would be at the top of his class here too, as long as he kept his focus. There were a lot more students who went here, but that didn't mean that they were as smart as the students at the private school. All he knew that he was going to try his hardest to enjoy the school, for whatever time period that he was here.
Now that he was back into the groove of going to school again, Taehyun found it easier to deal with the schedule. His sleep cycle was still messed up, and he still had a hard time falling asleep, but he did notice a little bit of improvement. School helped him focus on more important aspects of his life, instead of thinking back to his detrimental summer. That was one good thing going for him, at least.
He had become good friends with Soobin and Huening Kai, but he still seemed distant with the one he was the most curious about. Beomgyu hadn't made much of attempt to talk to him like Soobin and Kai did. On the other hand, Yeonjun and Taehyun ignored each other completely without having it come off too obvious to the other guys. At lunch, they only exchanged a few words. It was a struggle of having Yeonjun as an acquaintance. He wanted nothing more than to forget about the summer, but seeing Yeonjun was a constant reminder.
Taehyun shut his locker after finishing up his third period and he started to walk off to his next class. He had told Huening Kai that he needed to run back to his locker, because he forgot his math textbook. He was in a hurry to get back, as he only had a few minutes in between class. Along with that, his locker never got switched and he was still over in the upperclassmen block. He had to walk three hallways over just to get to his math class. As he walked quickly, he heard someone call from behind him.
"Taehyun, wait up," Taehyun heard from behind him.
Taehyun recognized the voice immediately. He slowly turned to face behind him and seen that it was Yeonjun. He really didn't have time to talk, but he and Yeonjun had avoided talking to each other and they really needed to clear everything up if they were going to be in the same friends group.
Yeonjun took long strides towards him, sweat covering his forehead. He must've just gotten out of gym, Taehyun assumed. Yeonjun came up beside him and ushered them forward.
"Come on, I'll walk you to your next class," Yeonjun told him, sweeping back his hair off of his sweaty forehead.
Taehyun nodded slowly, beginning to walk towards his class. He didn't know why Yeonjun wanted to talk now of all times. They were going to be late for class, Taehyun knew it. He could probably get out of it by explaining to his math teacher that his locker truly was far away from the freshman block of classrooms.
"So, what's up?" Taehyun asked, uneasiness in his tone.
"I think that we should put everything that happened over the summer behind us," Yeonjun told him as they walked together, "I just feel like if we are going to be hanging around with each other, then we shouldn't hold each other accountable for what happened between the two of us. I don't think that we thought we'd see each other again, but here we are. It's best just to move on."
Taehyun nodded, a wave of relief washing over him. This was a conservation that he had been dreading. They should've done this a lot sooner. It was eating away at him all week. It could've been this easy, he was just too scared of Yeonjun's reaction. Taehyun was glad that he felt the same. He wanted to forget about summer and he was glad that Yeonjun did too. They both understood each other, which was reassuring.
"I agree, that's what I was thinking too," Taehyun said with a nod.
"And maybe we can start over and be friends," Yeonjun suggested, shocking Taehyun.
Taehyun nodded, stammering slightly as he tried to find the right words before saying, "I would like that. Listen, Yeonjun, I'm really sorry about the summer. I just, my father, I-."
Yeonjun cut him off, "Listen, Taehyun, like I said, we're not gonna talk about it. I understand, you had to do what you had to do. You don't need to be sorry. That's all behind us now, think of this as a fresh start."
Taehyun nodded slowly and the two of them got to his math class. The tardy bell was about to ring and Yeonjun knew it too, but it didn't seem like he cared. It was good to get all of this cleared up and he was glad that Yeonjun was so understanding. He was looking forward to becoming friends with Yeonjun once again. The mistakes he made before he would be sure not to make again. Taehyun knew better this time.
"I guess I'll see you at lunch," Taehyun told him, turning to face him, "I hope you're not too late."
"Don't worry about it," Yeonjun brushed off his concern, "See you at lunch."
Taehyun watched his strut off down the hallway before he quickly walked into his math classroom, beating the tardy bell by an instant. Huening Kai flashed him a smile as he took his seat next to him.
"You just barely made it," he whispered to him as their teacher walked up to the whiteboard.
Taehyun nodded a bit, grateful that he wasn't tardy. Yeonjun, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. He probably had to walk all the way back over to the upperclassmen block for his next class. They really did need to talk, though. Maybe sometime they could talk more thoroughly without a time limit.
As their teacher began to write down problems on the board, Taehyun found his mind drifting elsewhere. He couldn't stop thinking about his interaction with Yeonjun. It made him think back to his dreadful summer. Yeonjun was one of the bright spots of his summer until he was ripped away from him.
-
"My name is Choi Yeonjun, I'm seventeen years old, and I'm from Seoul," the taller, stylish boy said who stood directly in front of him.
"How long have you been attracted to men?" Their counselor, Mr. Lee asked.
Taehyun watched the hesitance in the young boy's face. He shifted on his feet and glanced down towards the floor.
"I've been bisexual since I was in middle school," Yeonjun admitted in a soft tone, "I've developed a preference for men here recently."
As the boys went around the circle, telling their names and ages, Taehyun couldn't help but focus on Choi Yeonjun. He wondered if his parents had forced him to come to therapy as well, or if he wanted to do it himself. He didn't know of a single person that would want to force themselves not to be attracted to people of the same sex. Who knew, though. Maybe some people thought of it as a cleansing act to get their minds right.
Taehyun still couldn't even believe that he was here in this position right now. His father spent every last dime that he had to try and force his son not to find men attractive. He couldn't believe it when his father told him that he was sending him to a gay conversion therapy camp.
All his life, he had felt like being gay was wrong and something that he should have been ashamed of. When he finally had the guts to tell his father when their family had already fell apart a few months ago, Taehyun just confirmed the thoughts in his head. His father found him disgusting and felt like he couldn't even believe that they shared the same blood. Now, here he was, trying to erase the thoughts out of his head. Could this therapy actually work? The Republic of Korea wasn't a tolerant place for homosexuals, which was why therapies like these were prominent. His father was already disappointed enough. If this didn't work, then Taehyun could at least act like he had promising results. He could keep his gay identity a secret if he needed to. It was better than being looked down upon by his father.
"Now, I know that this is a huge change for a lot of you," Mr. Lee explained, standing in the middle of their circle, "You all are very brave for coming here and addressing the issues of your sexuality. Before we jump straight in, let's all get to know each other a little bit more. As you know, nothing that happens in this room should be repeated outside of this building. This is a safe place."
Safe place, my ass, Taehyun thought to himself. This wasn't a safe place and it made him feel ten times worse than he already did about his sexuality. It was demoralizing in every sense of the way and Taehyun and the other boys with him had to endure this.
Most of the boys in the group were around his age, excluding a few older adults. He couldn't imagine carrying around that big of a secret about his identity for that long in his life. Props to them for enduring the likely shame from their peers. Their oldest member was in his 60s. He said he had been struggling since he was a teenager. Taehyun came to the realization that didn't want to be like that.
"Now, to get to know each other and be more comfortable as a group, we're going to have a short activity to get us started," Mr. Lee said and issued a smile to them before continuing, "In our group, whoever is sitting directly across from you will be your partner for the duration of this camp. We always need someone to have our backs and someone that can help shoulder the pain that we're going through. As we conduct our therapy, you both will need to rely on each other to go through it. In case someone drops out, we can always adjust groups later. Now, go ahead and stand with your partner directly across from you."
As if it was fate, Taehyun glanced over as Yeonjun had his eyes on him. The one person he found most interesting out of the whole group was now his partner for the duration of his therapy.
-
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