Chase's POV
Friday, November 12 – South Carolina
I would've preferred to stay hanging out with Alex.
I would've preferred another night of pure bliss.
This past week has been more than I could imagine, on a couple different levels, and I didn't want to jinx anything to change that.
But deep breath, I also knew that I couldn't just send a message saying I couldn't attend. I'd known Trey for a long time, and he's done a lot for me. It's not like I could miss out on one of the biggest days of his life as besides, Ally was pretty cool, too.
It was why I left his house, flying my way down to South Carolina for the wedding. It was why I was dressed up tonight, ready for a fun time of hanging out with friends.
The wedding went off wonderfully, which was great to see for them both. The vows were pretty special, and everything went off without any issues. That's all you want on your big day, right? I couldn't imagine going into planning everything, and it just falling apart in front of your friends and family. I'd be so embarrassed that I may just book it from the alter and hit the bar.
The photos taken afterwards were your typical ones that you'd see at a wedding. The couple, their family, and the wedding party. I smiled in standing by Kayla, having known her for a number of years now through Kevin. Actually, I think in some ways I knew Kayla better just based on the time we spent together.
"Kevin says you have to go flying sometime soon together again," she tells me once we're done, to which I nod my head in agreement. While I was taking advantage of every moment with Alex right now, going for a flight would be a great idea.
As we spent time taking photos, I couldn't help but glance over at Ryan and Isabelle. She had grown close to everybody – different vacations, and genuine good friend even with the other layer no matter what you say. It was odd seeing her here, and them together so close, knowing it wasn't no longer a contractual agreement as it used to be in the past.
It was also why my breath hitched in my throat as she made her way over to me at the cocktail party.
"Hey Chase," she says as we easily accept a hug. It used to be usual for us to see each other regularly – her and Ryan together, the agreement, and the fact that she works for my sponsor. However, we hadn't seen each other or spoke since everything went down. What do you say months later?
"Hey," I simply reply, because what else was there to say?
"It's nice seeing you here and a smile on your face actually." That smile isn't thanks to anything you did, as you had a good hand in it – even if – nevermind, not going to get into that right now. It's all about moving on now, right? But the smile was genuine, and for a good reason.
"I am not surprised to see you here with Ryan, actually." I said I wasn't going to go there today, but there it goes slipping out. Let's face it – I saw the chemistry, gave them time together, and they took advantage. The only thing is they could've done it differently with conversation between the three of us before just doing it.
"It's not quite what you think it is, Chase." So he goes behind my back and sleeps with her because he claims all these feelings, and yet he hasn't taken it all the way?
"You don't have to hide anything anym-"
"I'm being 100% honest. He still thinks about you. He still worries about you. He still wants to make it up and be with you. He's genuine when he expresses those feelings."
This was also one of the other reasons why I wanted to avoid the wedding. A lot of people didn't know how far we were together, or the fact what happened and we grew apart. They were going to expect us to spend time together, and some people like Isabelle herself, had a possibility to say more.
Though all I had to do was take a deep breath, and think back to this past week to know I was doing the right thing. There were so many things from this past week that I could brag about Alex that would fix my feelings in many ways. In fact, I was seeing why this was the best way to go due to feelings that were there for a long time, special connection, something that goes beyond what you think on the surface.
"Given your lack of response, maybe those feelings are a two way street," she interrupts my thoughts, causing my brain to freeze.
Despite everything that had happened, I still couldn't directly turn off everything in regards to Ryan. There would be flashbacks to our fun nights together where we'd lose our minds in each other. There was also the fun times of hanging out, just being friends and taking vacations together.
How do you just erase all those years of history at once?
"I told him that I wasn't going back, and I will tell you the same thing," I state clearly and concisely.
You can only open your heart so many times before you're shattered forever. I made the mistake of re-opening it for someone else, just for her to take full advantage and beyond. Ryan knew that having been there through the break-up with her, and yet still went and did what he did. Not only that, but he hid it for months, made excuses, and tried to play Mr. Innocent. How was that forgivable?
Also, like I have stated, too, I was set and moving forward with someone who genuinely cared, had fun together, and feelings seemed to go even better.
"Besides, he's moved on with Alex," Ryan joins in the conversation as he walks over, wrapping an arm around Isabelle's shoulders. "Whether I like it or not, I have to live with the decision that I made, something that I highly regret and wish you could forgive me for. Though seeing from your perspective, I understand."
Now there's some progress. That sounds much better than the forceful comments that he dished at me the last time we saw each other. I believed they were genuine because of our friendship, and wanting to somehow keep part of that – but I also couldn't help but question his motives.
I also was caught off-guard by how he started that, too.
"I'm not staying away from you just because of Alex," I tell him, because that's what I gathered. It was like he was saying he'd been replaced, and that's the only reason for not forgiving. Sorry, but the real reasons still lied in your decisions. "You fucked up, and I can't do that again."
"I know, and it's nice to see you and Alex spending a lot of time together," he replies, causing even more confusion. How did he know that?
"Have you been spying on me, Blaney?" It seemed only logical to know the truth. How else would he know what I've been doing? I want to take bets that he's been purposely driving by his house.
"I may have seen your car in Alex's drivew-"
"So you're spying us because I know you don't take that way normally to go from the shop to your house." We were together for long enough to know each other's chosen routes, and why. It made for easy meeting up at times.
"I still worry about you and care about you. I couldn't help but wonder and make sure you're okay." Who cares about a person and stabs them in the back? Someone please answer that question.
"You should've thought about that because you fucked up."
I walk away because frankly, I didn't want to have any more to do with that conversation. There were so many things that had me questioning things, and whether even a friendship could be salvageable. Every time I ask him for the smallest favor, try to make things easier, he goes two steps backwards.
Why do I keep giving him chances to dig his nails deeper?