Today I am shooting again. It's going to be a big day emotionally, we're filming the flashback for Kaya and Robins breakup scene.
Even though I have such a big day today, I was up late last night researching tips for the role. I really want to get this right and I think I have some ideas.
I walk into the studio and see Maya with a big takeaway coffee. I'd called her this morning and asked her to come in early, promising her I'd explain it when I got there.
"Charlee, there better be a good reason you got me here early. We're not due to film until late this afternoon. I could be sleeping and preparing for our breakup!" Maya exclaims.
"Bare with me okay?" I say to Maya, leading her over to the brown couches of the break room and sitting down next to her.
"I was reading about this style of acting preparation, where you put yourself in situations your character will be in so you can fully understand it and it translates well on screen," I explain.
Maya is listening closely, but looks somewhat confused.
"So, I thought. Since our characters were in a pretty serious relationship, we need to replicate that intimacy and comfort with each other," I finish.
Maya tilts her head and narrows her eyes a little.
"Ah... Charlee? What are you saying you want to do?" She asks, a look of concern on her face.
"Oh! Nothing like that, oh my god. I didn't realise how I made that sound," I laugh.
"I just think we should stick close today, maybe hold hands and hug and stuff a lot. Get really comfortable with each other you know?" I tell her.
"Ohhhh," Mayas face relaxes as she begins to understand what I'm saying.
"You're not comfortable around me?" She asks.
"Of course I am! You make everyone feel comfortable. I just really want to do this well," I explain.
"No, I get it. It's a good idea. You impress me Charlee," Maya says with a smile, linking her arm with mine.
Just as I was about to ask what we should do today, Joe walks into the room and over to the coffee station.
My heart skips a beat as I watch him, I'm still unsure where things stand with us after the coffee shop.
"You okay?" Maya asks me.
I nod and smile at her.
"Look at you, the caring girlfriend already," I say with a smile.
"Don't say that! I'm not ready for the heartbreak of our break up," Maya says with a pout.
I unhook our arms and squeeze her hand as I look into her eyes.
"We can still be friends, and we'll always have Paris," I joke.
"Paris?" Joe asks.
I didn't even notice Joe had walked over to us.
"Just a joke," I laugh awkwardly.
I look at Joe for a moment, and then remember I wanted to talk to him about this preparation idea as well.
"Can we talk?" I ask him.
"Yeah..." Joe answers, nodding slowly. Unsure of what's coming.
I get up and begin to walk over to the other side of the room. I turn around to see him still standing there.
"Come on!" I say to him, motioning for him to follow me.
He walks over to me, his hands shoved inside his jacket pockets. Once he gets to me he leans against the wall and looks at me.
"What's up?" He says.
"I have been researching techniques. You know, for acting? And I'm trying something with Maya, so that we can convey closeness on screen," I say to him.
"What is it?" Joe asks me.
"Um... Touch actually. Lots of close contact, hugging, that kind of thing. So we come across more comfortable with each other you know?" I say.
"Oh! So like, method acting! That's pretty clever actually," Joe praises me.
I smile, blushing a little.
"Thank you," I say.
"So... You want to do something like that with me?" He asks.
"Kind of. Actually, more like the opposite though," I say.
Joe tilts his head with a confused look on his face.
"Our characters have all this... Tension. Until they get together. I think the best way to translate that is to build on it. By not touching," I explain tentatively.
Joe stands up so that he is no longer leaning against the wall. He takes his hands from his pockets, and looks me in the eyes.
"You want me to stop touching you?" He asks me, his expression hard to read, but I could tell he wasn't pleased.
"Just until our characters get together," I explain.
"What makes you think this would even work? What if it has the opposite affect and our relationship looks flat?" Joe asks.
"That won't happen," I tell him.
"How do you know?" He asks me.
"Put your hands up," I instruct.
"What?" He asks, confused.
"Like this," I say, raising my hands up in front of me, palms flat.
Joe slowly lifts his hands up, facing his palms to me. A look of curiosity in his wide eyes.
With hands up and my palms out, I slowly step closer to him. I stop once I am mere millimetres from touching him. Our body's close, our hands even closer. My shoes almost touching his. That regular heat I've grown accustomed to begins to pulsate between us and my breath gets shallower.
I swallow.
"Do you feel that?" I ask softly.
"No, you're not touching me," Joe says, annoyed.
I sigh.
"No, I don't mean like physically feeling something. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I'm the only one that feels it. When we're close to each other, it's like I can feel this... this-," I ramble a little, trying to find the word.
"Electricity," Joe says quietly.
"I was going to say tension," I say with a small laugh.
I look into his eyes and he looks into mine.
"You do feel it," I say.
He looks into my eyes for a moment longer, and then drops his hands and rubs his hand over his chin.
"I mean, yeah. I've felt it. It's that chemistry that everyone's talking about right?" Joe says with a shrug.
I nod.
"Yeah. Exactly! The thing - according to everyone - that makes us work so well together. It's an asset right? So we should use that," I tell him.
I can see he's close to agreeing with me, he moves his tongue in the side of his cheek thoughtfully. His brown eyes wandering around the room as he considers my idea.
"Okay. You're probably right, and I can see this means a lot to you. You're really giving this your all aren't you?" Joe asks me, half smiling.
"Yeah. I don't want to prove all the people that believe in me wrong," I tell him.
"Well that was never going to happen," Joe chuckles, looking into my eyes.
"Maybe not touching will make Gemma feel a bit better about everything too?" I say gently.
Joe takes in a deep breath.
"Maybe," He breathes out.
I am about to ask him if she's still upset, when Robert comes into the room.
"Joe, hair and makeup is ready for you!" Robert calls out.
"Hey Charlee!" Robert says to me with a smile.
I smile brightly back at him.
"Thanks Robert," Joe says to Robert with a kind smile.
Joe turns to me, and leans in closely. Careful not to touch. I hold my breath.
"I bet you break the ban first," He whispers in my ear.
I glare at him.
"No way, you can't go a day without one of my amazing hugs," I say back to him, teasing.
"We'll see," Joe laughs, walking towards Robert.
He stops before he reaches the door and gives me a little wave before disappearing. Once he is gone, I walk over to the couch with Maya on it and plop myself down next to her with a sigh.
"You like him don't you?" She asks me.
I am about to deny it, but when I look at her face I can tell she wouldn't believe me.
"Yeah," I nod sadly.
I lean my head on Mayas shoulder and she lifts her arm around me in a hug, and begins to rub my shoulder with her hand.
"What are you going to do about it?" She asks me.
"Probably wait it out. Until the feelings disappear," I say.
"Or until he breaks up with his girlfriend?" Maya asks.
I lift my head up to look at her, and lift my eyebrows.
"Everyone knows they've been fighting," Maya says, "He's arguing on the phone to her all the time,"
"They'll work it out. He wants to. She's just worried about him having a romantic interest. Once she realises I'm not a threat, it will be okay," I say, genuinely caring about their relationship. Just because I like him doesn't mean I want either of them to get hurt.
Maya looks at me.
"What?" I ask.
"Charlee, they haven't been fighting since you joined the cast. They've been fighting since pretty much you started as a writer. This is just the newest thing she's upset about. Things are not good," She tells me.
"I started a year ago," I tell her.
"Yeah, I don't know how they're still together," She tells me.
"What started it?" I ask.
Maya looks at me for a moment, thinking of what to say.
"I think he's been distracted," She says finally, pulling me back into a hug.
"Now what should we do today?" Maya asks.