"The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired. We deny that we're scared. We deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and oftentimes, it works. We like to deny to ourselves so much that after a while, the denials start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that sometimes we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces."
Karylle and Vice entered the elevator together. But the former decided to stand a couple of feet apart from him, not wanting to make things more awkward between them.
"I will scrub in with you on Angela's surgery. But just to make things clear, Dr. Viceral. I'm only interested in the surgery and it has nothing to do with you. I'm also going to set aside your sensuous comments, and convince myself that you chose me among the other interns because you know I'm capable enough, and not because I'm the intern you slept with."
Bahagya namang natawa si Vice sa litanya ni Karylle pero huminto rin siya agad nang tignan siya nito ng masama. He then cleared his throat and adjusted his white coat.
"Did you really think I chose you because I slept with you?" Vice smirked that made Karylle turn to the elevator door again.
"Well, I'm not that kind of guy, Dr. Tatlonghari. I might have enjoyed our great night together but I'm still aware of the weight of our job. Kaya wag kang mag-alala, hindi naman talaga kita pinili dahil sa galing mong humalik," ngisi ni Vice dahilan para tignan siya ulit ng masama ni Karylle.
"I chose you because I can see great potential in you. So just consider this as an opportunity to prove it. Nagkakaintindihan ba tayo?" dagdag niya bago nakangiting lumabas ng elevator.
Naiwan naman ulit sa loob si Karylle pero kahit papano ay napangiti rin siya ng kaunti nang tuluyang magsara ang magkabilang pinto.
•~•~•~•
Almost all the interns and a couple of doctors gathered in the observation deck that was overlooking the entire operating room. They were all there witnessing the coronary artery bypass procedure Karylle was scrubbing in. Mabilis na kumalat sa buong ospital ang balita. Even Karylle's parentage and relationship with the world-renowned surgeon Esperanza Padilla quickly traveled across the hospital halls.
Everyone knew that it was very unlikely that an intern would be picked to scrub in for a major surgery, especially on her first shift. That's why many of the interns and doctors assumed that Karylle was picked because of her mother.
"I still can't imagine how she's feeling right now. Dr. Viceral even let her hold the freaking heart!" tila di makapaniwalang giit ni Anne nang matagumpay na matapos ang surgery.
After only a few hours, the doctors in the operating room were now closing up the patient.
Napangiti lang naman si Jericho na katabi niya. Maging siya ay hindi rin makapaniwala sa kung anong nararamdaman ngayon ni Karylle.
"We all know that the only reason she's there is because of her mother," Sam scoffed which earned him an instant death glare from Anne na nasa harapan niya.
"For all we know, you're just jealous dahil hindi ikaw ang intern na pinili. So for once, just shut up and cut her some slack, will you?"
"It was Karylle who got assigned to the patient in the first place. So, there's nothing illogical about her being chosen for this surgery."
"Tama si Anne. Karylle deserved to be in that surgery more than any of us here. At isa pa, we'll have our own chances to scrub in on a procedure in the following days," dagdag ni Jericho at tatayo na sana upang umalis nang magsalita ulit si Sam.
"But this is a major heart surgery, and not a simple appendectomy for first-year interns. It just doesn't sit right. And even Dixson agrees with me."
"What are you talking about?" tila naiinis ng tanong ni Anne at napatingin sa kung saan nakatuon ngayon ang atensiyon ni Sam.
"See for yourselves. She doesn't seem happy, does she?" he smirked that made the other interns turn their heads to what he was referring to.
Kasalukuyang magkaharap sa scrub-up area sina Alice at Vice. Hindi marinig ng mga interns ang pinag-uusapan ng dalawa dahil sa nakaharang na makapal na salamin pero kitang-kita sa reaksiyon ni Alice na hindi siya natutuwa sa nangyari.
"With all due respect, Dr. Viceral. Karylle Tatlonghari is my intern. Naiintindihan kong kakalipat mo pa lang dito sa ospital, but I am also quite aware that you've been here long enough to know that you should have talked to me first before deciding to have her scrub in on this surgery."
Tahimik lang namang nakatayo at nakikinig si Karylle sa gilid habang nag-uusap ang dalawa. Sandali pa siyang nilingon ni Vice pero pinili niyang umiwas ng tingin.
"I'm sorry for not informing you beforehand, Dr. Dixson. I really am. But Dr. Tatlonghari was the intern assigned to this case and I saw nothing wrong about her scrubbing in with me. And besides, the surgery went very well and we saved the patient's life. Surely, that's what matters most."
"This is not about what matters most and what matters least, Dr. Viceral. This is all about accountability. And since I am Dr. Tatlonghari's resident, I am the one accountable if she does anything reckless that could endanger anyone in this hospital — especially a patient."
Pilit namang napangiti ng kaunti si Vice habang kaharap si Alice. His position may be higher than her but he knows Alice holds a certain authority in the hospital na hindi niya mapapantayan.
"I understand, Dr. Dixson. Rest assured, this will never happen again," he politely smiled, still not ruining his calm and confident composure.
Napatango naman si Alice at tinapunan ng tingin si Karylle na tahimik pa ring nakatayo sa isang sulok. Sandaling silang nagkatinginan hanggang sa nagsimula na siyang maglakad palabas.
Muling nilingon ni Vice si Karylle nang tuluyan ng makaalis si Alice. Even all the interns and other doctors who were also observing earlier in the gallery went back to their respective tasks, leaving them both alone in the scrub-up area.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Tatlonghari but I think I just made your resident hate you," biro niya upang tignan ng mabuti ang reaksiyon ni Karylle sa nangyari.
But Vice noticed that Karylle wasn't even that worried about their brief confrontation with Alice. Her eyes remained fixed inside the operating room, still unable to believe that she had been part of a major surgery on her first shift as an intern.
Kitang-kita sa kaniyang mukha na para siyang lumulutang sa ere dahil sa nararamdaman niyang kakaibang saya sa mga pagkakataong yon.
"I literally held a heart in my hand and saved a life," Karylle said as if everything that happened was just part of a dream.
"You certainly did," Vice answered, his eyes locked on her like he could look at her all day.
Noticing his unwavering gaze, Karylle looked back at him. And at that moment, she thought it would be a lie if she won't admit to herself that Vice does indeed possess charming and attractive features.
Karylle stared at him as if she was about to fall into a rabbit hole. Still on cloud nine, her stare slowly traveled from his dreamy eyes to his luscious lips.
"Great job today, Dr. Tatlonghari. I'll see you around," nakangiting giit ni Vice at akmang lalabas na sana ng operating room nang bigla siyang pigilan ng kaniyang kasama.
Remembering the memories of their steamy and lascivious encounter the other night, Karylle wasted no time and immediately claimed his lips.
Bahagya pang nagulat si Vice sa hindi inaasahang paghalik sa kaniya ng huli. But it didn't take him long enough to return the pleasure.
Vice instantly pinned her against the wall. Karylle then held his hair as she deepened the action between their lips and pressed herself against his body. Their passionate kiss slowly became a bit rougher as it lasted a couple of seconds.
Realizing what was going on and where it was headed, Karylle was the first one to immediately pull away. Also in shock because of what she just did, sandali niya munang tinignan si Vice bago mabilis na inayos ang kaniyang sarili.
"I–I'll see you around, Dr. Viceral," were the only words she managed to say before quickly walking out of the room, and leaving Vice also perplexed of what just happened between them.
Falling Harder
by Grace Coletta