"Here we are y/n, what do you think?", a tall muscular man asked standing next to you showing the common room. You didn't have any breath left to say anything, so you stayed quiet.
"She is amazed, see? It's always breathtaking. And you know why? Because I did it", said a man with a three-day beard proudly. You laughed inside and tried to hide it. "What was that?", the bearded man asked. You looked nervously to Mister Muscular who just shrugged. "I saw that!", Mister Almost-No-Beard said outraged.
"What?", you asked now, finally opening your mouth.
"You were laughing inside! I saw that grin you tried to hide! You failed! I can't believe it..."
"Tony, let her be." Almost-No-Beard named Tony sighed and left. "Sorry for that. Tony is a bit... well he is just who he is I guess. I am Steve by the way", Muscle Man said with a smile.
"I... I am y/n", you stuttered.
"I know", Steve said laughing, "Come on, I'm gonna show you your new room."
On the way to said room, you met Natasha Romanoff. She was nice and mysterious. And in a hurry which is why you couldn't get to know her. "Let's meet up in the kitchen later for some Nachos!", she had said while leaving.
You entered the room. "Wow, that's... that's... wow", you stumbled seeing that big room you were standing in. Steve just laughed as he was watching you realize this is going to be your new home. You went to the big window wall, watching the whole city from this point of view.
"Everything looks so..."
"Cool? Amazing?", Steve tried to finish your sentence.
"Small and unimportant."
Steve's laugh ended immediately as he walked next to you, now looking outside the window wall like you did. He seemed to be lost in mind now which was why you tried to interrupt him with: "Okay, sorry for that. Let's head somewhere else I guess."
Sometimes you didn't realize you were using your power and thought they were your feelings and thoughts even though they were from someone else. This time you got Steve's and got him right into his feelings with what you've said.
"Come on", you said while waiting in the doorframe already. Mindlessly he walked over to you, so you grabbed his hand and tried to find the kitchen. Either he had lost his mind now or lost himself in his mind. Whatever just happened, you wanted him to come back and distract him. It was just a shame that you didn't remember where everything was located and needed way too long to find the kitchen.
Natasha wasn't there and Steve still seemed to have lost his reality. While waiting for Natasha you used your power again because you were still holding his hand, which is why it was way easier to use it by accident.
You were scared, cold, and alone. "Peggy!", you heard Steve calling, "Peggy!"
"Steve?", you asked, "Steve where are you?"
You found yourself in a previous time; tanks surrounded you and everybody was wearing a uniform except for you. Also: nobody seemed to see you.
"Hello?", you asked, trying to get attention from at least one person, but nothing happened.
"Y/N?", you heard a woman's voice, but couldn't see anyone close to you. "What's wrong with you two?"
"Natasha?", you asked carefully.
"Yeah, that's my name. What the hell are you doing? What's wrong with Steve, why isn't he answering? Why are you two just staring into the void?"
"I... I used my ability and I don't know how to get him back. It happened two times unfortunately so now we both are kinda stuck I think. I... I can do that, no problem. No worries allowed here, I can do that", you said more to yourself than to anyone else.
"Oh, wow. So first you laugh at me and now you already date spangles. Great. That's definitely how I imagined living my life", you heard Tony saying annoyed.
"Steve, listen. You have to tell me where you are", you said, but Steve didn't answer.
"What did you do to him?", another voice asked.
Great. Not embarrassing at all. Not. At. All. Your first day and you ruined everything, great.
"Oh, fuck this shit!", you cursed, coming back to reality again.
"You better get him back or I'm gonna kick your ass outta here", Tony said while eating popcorn and watching you.
Another man walked up to you, held you by your shoulders and while he said "You get this man back or I will kill you!" you felt his fear and saw his memories of Hydra.
"You are his best friend, aren't you?", you asked blatantly.
"How do you know? I don't even know you!"
"Were you a Hydra soldier?", you asked quietly. He sighed angrily and left.
After he was out of sight, he returned to say "You get him back now!" and left again.
"You shouldn't have asked that, y/n."
"I needed to know, Natasha."
"Why?"
"My ability seems to get stronger. I needed to be sure if what I saw was from him."
"You better get Steve back or he will surely kill you." You laughed a bit.
"There it is again!", Tony said loud from afar with his popcorn. You closed your eyes and held Steve's shoulders, breathing in, breathing out.
"Steve!"
"Y/n?"
"Yes, Steve, what's wrong?" You didn't see anything. Just blackness.
"I need her, y/n, but I can't find her! She wanted to have a dance with me but then there was this crash and now everything is just pitch black and I can't find her. I need to wake up from this coma."
"Steve, you aren't in a coma or whatever. You are in your mind, in your memory. We have 2021, Steve."
"No, it's-"
"Steve, no. It's 2021. Peggy is probably not even alive anymore. You were gone for about 70 years, remember? Steve?"
"I need to go back to her."
"Okay... Steve? Come here."
"How?"
"Just try to imagine us standing next to each other okay?" After a few seconds, you could see him in front of you. "Good job! Now take my hands and think of Peggy where you want to meet her. But it needs to be a memory, okay?"
A little while later you were standing in a very strange environment and a beautiful lady was standing in front of you.
"Rogers!", she said with a smile. Everything got blurry, you suddenly felt nauseous and fell to the ground. You began to cough which was a bad combination with your nausea.
"Y/n! Y/n!"
"Tony, what do we do? What is wrong with her?"
"Do I look like a fucking medical doctor to you?!"
"Banner! Perfect! You gotta help here."
"Who's this?"
"It's y/n, the new-"
"Y/n, you have to breathe slowly, okay? Listen to me, y/n, breathe slowly." But you felt like you couldn't breathe at all, how should you breathe slowly then?
"What's happening here?", Steve asked.
"Get her in my lab, please, Steve."
"Huh...?", slowly you opened your eyes, but the lights were so goddamn bright, that you thought they wanted to kill you, so you closed them again.
"Y/n, are you awake?" You groaned. "Do you need anything?"
"The light...", you said so quietly that you weren't sure if someone could even hear you. A few minutes later it seemed to be darker through your closed eyes so you opened them again and this time it was way better. "Hello, darkness... my old... friend", you said strained, and instead of a laugh that wanted to be followed, you coughed.
"Easy, y/n. Take it easy. You shouldn't talk now. Do you know where you are?" You shook your head slowly. "You are in my laboratory. Do you know what happened?" You tried to think about it and even though you remembered everything before you passed out, you couldn't comprehend what happened. "I take this as a no. So basically you used your ability and passed out. I ran some tests and it seems like your ability is improving though it seems to be pretty unstable. I need to run some more tests to figure out how to help you." Sighing you closed your eyes.
You had an oxygen mask on which was pretty annoying and you just wanted to take it off. You opened your eyes and saw that the man had left the room so you took it off, yet immediately regretted what you had done because again you couldn't breathe. The alarm of the monitor went crazy and not just the man came running to you, even Steve, Natasha and Tony joined.
"Why did you take it off?", the man growled. He was pretty pissed and you could be happy that you were in a bad place already, otherwise, he probably would have beaten you up like everyone else already wanted to.
The man came over and put the mask on you again, while you had gotten a bit dizzy already. But before anything could happen, he had finished, went back to his computer and let out a big sigh. "Don't do that again", he warned you.
"I don't think she belongs here", Tony said. You tried to hit the bed to get someone's attention but no one seemed to care. Or maybe they just didn't see it. Was it even enough to make any noise at all? You were pretty weak so it could have also been possible that it was so low that you barely moved your hand while it felt like you were carrying a mountain.
After a while, the man came to you to draw some more blood. "Did you use your ability again?" You shook your head. "Okay. Tony, come here."
Tony walked over to you, but he was definitely not happy about it. "What's wrong Banner?"
"Wear this glove and touch her, please."
Tony put on the glove and put his hand on your head. "So what now?", Tony asked confused.
"Y/n, do you feel anything?" You shook your head. "Great. Now take it off and do it again."
Tony got rid of the glove and threw it into a corner of the room. Again he put his hand on your head. Pictures were coming up, feelings were overloading you. Panic, tragedy, sadness. Nightmares. Oh, what nightmares you saw there, it was too much. You tried to get away somehow, but you barely moved an inch. You tried to scream, but it was just a weird noise coming out of your mouth.
"Away. Tony get your hand off y/n!"
No new pictures or feelings of Tony got to you, but they were still a part of you. They were stuck in your head now and all you wanted was to cry and scream.
"Y/n, you okay?", Tony asked carefully. He wanted to stroke your head, but Banner got his arm before he could touch you again. Thank god. "What happened?", Tony asked, "Was it my fault?" Tony began to breathe faster. With all the power you had left, you reached your hand out to Tony to show him support but it seemed like it didn't work.
"Do you want Tony to be closer?", Banner asked and you nodded. Tony came closer, reaching out his hand as close as possible but not too close so that he didn't touch you again. You took his hand and just held it. Banner wanted to interrupt, but let it be when he saw that nothing was happening. "I really have to figure this out", he mumbled. Tony's breathing slowed down and he smiled a little. But just a few minutes later you passed out of exhaustion.
A few weeks later you finally had a new start. You got to know all the Avengers normally and not from a weird "I am new here and I will destroy everything I touch first" kinda way. Steve, Bucky and Tony still struggled with what had happened.
While Steve still thought about Peggy and where he was trapped in his mind, Tony thought about how he could help you. Bucky on the other side still didn't trust you at all and was ready to put you down if necessary. Steve had tried multiple times to get him rid of his trip to kill you, but had no chance at all. Bucky was just way too angry at you and worried about his friend. Every time he got closer you began to feel his anger, frustration and worry. At some point, you thought you had caught one of his thoughts about him hating himself and that the anger wasn't actually about you, but you shrugged it off as something you just tried to tell yourself so that you wouldn't feel too bad about what happened.
"Y/n!"
"Natasha!"
She began to laugh a little about you copying her but tried to get serious again pretty fast. "Don't do that again", she tried to stay serious but failed because she couldn't hide a grin.
"You two suck at hiding that", Tony said standing just a few meters next to you.
"Where did you come from, Mister?", you asked laughing.
"Oh, come on. I am standing here for over 10 minutes now. Were you so lost in your mind? And why could Romanoff get your attention and not me? I tried to talk to you, but you were so lost in whatever you were doing there that I waited", Tony said outraged. "Did I get so unimportant? Goddamn! Maybe I should throw you all out of my tower then", he said emphasizing the "my".
Natasha just ignored what he said, so Tony walked away with a big dramatized sigh. You two laughed pretty loudly until Natasha got back to why she was looking for you: "Okay, y/n, you gotta go to Banner. He has some new information."
When you entered the laboratory you could see Banner standing on a few machines, thinking pretty hard so that he didn't even see you. He walked from one machine to another, then sighed out of frustration and was shocked when he finally saw you a while later. "How long-... doesn't matter. So as you know I was focusing on your ability to figure out how it works and how we can help you. The truth is: I have no clue. I mean I can see in your EEG and Genes that you do have the ability, but there is no way I know how it works. So my advice is that you should practice and figure it out that way."
"So just try and error?"
"Exactly."
"But... my ability already got so strong and different, how can we be sure it's not going to get worse and I will never have full control over it?" Banner sighed, turning around so he didn't have to look at you.
"We don't. And to be honest I don't know if you should join missions with the bit of information we have."
"But that means I am never going on a mission because we can never be sure."
Banner stayed silent, his gaze on the ground. You got closer to him, reaching out your hand and laying it on his shoulder. Emotions, thoughts, and memories were flashing by so fast that in just one second you knew way too much about him. About him and "the other guy".
"Y/n!", he said loudly, turning around and stepping back from you. Now he was angry. Not just angry, but like really angry and you could see him turning a little green.
"It's okay. Don't worry."
"It's not! I didn't allow you to get into my mind!"
"It's okay. You have nothing to worry about, okay? I'm not going to tell anyone, I won't harm you, nothing is going to happen. At least nothing you don't want to. I just want to help, okay?"
"I didn't want you to access my mind in the first place."
"I am sorry about that. I just wanted to reach out and be there for you."
He sighed. "Okay. Okay."
"Ah, shit!"
"What's wrong y/n?"
"Bucky please!", you said turning around to the door.
"No one is there, y/n", Banner said confused.
"Bucky, come out or I will kill you before you can even decide to put me down!" Bucky walked into the room, leaving Banner even more confused.
"How...?"
"What do you want Bucks?"
"Don't call me that! And now tell me your plan! What does Hydra want? What are your plans? Are you trying to get as much information as possible so that you can destroy the Avengers?"
"What? No! Goddammit Bucky! Can you please for fuck's sake stop projecting your hate onto me? I didn't do anything to you! Sure, I made some mistakes but these abilities are kinda new for me! I don't know how to control them, I don't know what they can do, okay? Also isn't everyone making mistakes? You made a lot of mistakes as well, didn't you?"
With a loathing and angry face he just walked away.
"What was that?", Banner asked but you just sighed and sat down on the floor. "Hey, y/n, tell me what just happened."
"He hates me. Well, he doesn't, but he thinks he does. And his hate is so strong that I can feel it even meters away, so I could feel him standing behind the door. Dr. Banner?"
"You can call me Bruce, y/n."
"Okay, Bruce... Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you hate me?" He laughed like it was the best joke ever. "Okay, great. So all I know is that you find me funny I guess. Well, that's something at least."
"No, no, y/n. I mean sure you have humor. But it's just ironic that you, the one who can look into minds and emotions, ask me if I hate you. You should know better y/n."
"Well, obviously I don't."
"Okay, give me your hand", he said reaching out his. When you grabbed it he helped you to stand up. "Now don't lose the grip. You see that nothing happened, right? Do you know why?" You shook your head. "Because you didn't try to concentrate on any emotional level, I think. You just focused on getting up. Can I ask you something personal?"
"Well, it would be a shame if I would say no since I know more about you than you do about me." He laughed again a little and proceeded: "Alright. Were you abused as a child? Do you have trauma where empathy was necessary?"
That question was hard to swallow. You looked down, rubbing first your eye and then your forehead which looked like you were having a headache. "You don't have to answer, but it would help figuring out what's going on." You nodded while trying to hold back the tears. "I think you learned to control your ability at a young age so that you could be as safe as possible. Could that be the case?" You nodded again. Tears now streaming down your cheeks. "You are safe now, y/n. No one is going to hurt you, okay? I know it's hard to think about what happened, but it is in the past."
"But it's still haunting me, also I don't think you and Bucky are on the same page", you whispered.
"What are your triggers, y/n?" You shrugged. "We need to know them, okay? Maybe we can figure out how to control your new skills."
"Can I try something?", you asked and Bruce got curious about what you meant. He hesitated but agreed in the end. You laid your hands on his shoulders, trying to remember and think about the abuse that had happened to you. "Close your eyes and try to relax, please."
You weren't ready for this, but would you ever be? You closed your eyes as well and found yourself in your old home when you opened them again.
"What is this?", Bruce asked.
"It's my old home. I used to live here as a child. We are in my memories I think." Bruce was amazed by what he saw and walked around. "Please don't go too far away, stay with me", you asked desperately. Bruce got closer to you until he could hold your hand again. You smiled and thanked him.
Your mom came back home carrying a lot of stuff which she put in the kitchen. "Why can't she even do her chores? Goddamn!", your mom hissed. She made some food and served it on the coffee table, your dad and sister lying on the sofa next to it. Everyone began to eat except you.
"If this is a memory but you aren't even there... how do you know that?", Bruce asked.
"Because this is what I think happened. I heard her that day and you will see later why I concluded this in the end."
As soon as your family finished they were just sitting and laying there watching TV. Time went faster until it got dark and you went downstairs to ask when you would finally eat.
"Oh, well we already ate a few hours ago. Just eat whatever you can find", your dad said.
"I was pretty hungry at that point. I was hungry for 5 hours there already."
"Why didn't you just eat something earlier?"
"Because I always got yelled at if I didn't eat with the family."
You watched yourself walking back upstairs again without anything to eat, Bruce and you followed your past you.
"Why didn't you grab anything?"
"I was too sad and disappointed at that point. Also, all I could have eaten was bread and I really wasn't into eating bread at that moment."
"Why couldn't you just cook something?"
"Because this would have left a mess no matter how much I would have cleaned and-"
"And they would have yelled at you."
"Yeah."
"So basically they just tried to find anything to let out their anger." You nodded. You two watched your past you sitting and crying on your bed, catching you always looking to the ground next to your bed.
"We should leave, Bruce."
"I would like to see some more details to figure out your triggers."
"Bruce."
"Okay, well can I ask you something?"
"As soon as we are back okay?"
"Okay. So what do I have to- wait... What, what are you doing there?"
"I said we should leave!" Bruce walked over to your past you, which made it impossible for you to safely get back to reality again.
"Why did you do that?"
"Bruce, I don't want to talk about it. Please don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Do you still cut yourself? Are you okay?"
"Well, obviously I am not and now come with me goddamn, Bruce!"
He had a worried look on his face when he walked back to you. You had totally forgotten that this was also a part of you.
You two returned to reality without any complications, yet your face was wet and you ran away. Bruce tried to apologize, but you were already gone.