Zayn's POV
I made it through the book signing as well as a short interview we had to do about our book without any attacks. I know that was only because Niall sat beside me the whole time and joked with me to keep me feeling pretty relaxed. I think just being with Niall keeps me happy and calm, but I still hate the stupid questions we get asked. I think the fans know my favorite color and yes, I think getting married at my age is a good idea... kind of.
I was exhausted when we got back to the hotel and just wanted to sleep until we had to get on the road again for something else. That was going to be tour, which I was not looking forward to. I'm just tired and want to take a break. This gets to be too much sometimes and I don't enjoy it. I want things to slow down, but it always does that opposite instead.
"Boys, go back to your rooms and pack up. You all get to go home for a week then it's tour time." David said then have me a look of disgust. I rolled my eyes at him, being jist as childish as he was, and walked over to Louis as we all made our way down the hall to our rooms.
"Got some stuff if you want to smoke it before we fly. Or, we can just do it on the plane. Liam, Niall and Harry aren't going to London." Louis told me in a low voice, but I still heard the pain when he said Harry's name. They love each other to death, but they know it's not the reality of things so they stay in a deep pain trying to ignore it. In other words, they feel like me. The only difference is that they have sex and snog each other then fight because they know they shouldn't have done that. It's sad to watch two people in love try to deny it. I wonder if that how I look towards Niall? I'm sure I just look desperate and depressed.
"On the plane is better. I just want to get away from those controlling fuckers." I mumbled to him as I stopped in front of my door. He let our a loud laugh, then stopped when he saw Harry opening his door. Louis' blue eyes scraped over the long haired boys body, until I finally just pushed him away from me over to Harry.
"Go do something with him quick, I'll cover for you if I have to." I whispered, which made him nod and nearly run over to where Harry had just opened the door. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed the side of his neck while pushing him in the room, the door closing behind them. I sighed, then turned to go back to opening my door.
I walked in and saw Niall was already in my room folding my shirts and putting my things in my suitcase. I knew he ran ahead of all of us after we were told what to do, but I didn't see that he come in here.
"What are you doing?" I asked him sweetly as I walked up behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"Helping you pack. I thought maybe it would take something off your to do list." He told me, then zipped up my suitcase. I smiled, the first real smile I have all day, and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt him back up into my body, but I didn't make much of it because that's just how Niall is. He's like a puppy that you give affection to and he responds by cuddling in for more. It's truly adorable and I can't get enough of it.
"Thank you so much. Let's go get you packed up now." I said and tried to lean in to kiss his cheek, but he moved out of my and ran to the door.
"Let's go!" He yelled excitedly and opened the door. I got my bag off my bed and went to follow him.
When we made it to his room, which was on the other side of Harry's room, we both started gathering Niall's things and putting them in his suitcase. In the middle of packing we heard a slight knocking on the wall and a few muffled moans that I knew were from Harry.
I looked away from the wall and to Niall, who had a deep red blush on his face. I smiled and put his last shirt in before sitting in his bed.
The sounds from Larry's bedroom were still going strong after ten minutes so I just rolled my eyes. Those two love each other in a very sweet way even if they gave up, but they will always be strongly attracted to each other and still have pretty intimate moments.
"Have you ever wondered what i-it feels like?" Niall asked me quietly and sat on the bed next to me. I looked over at him and tried my hardest to not think anything inappropriate about his words. Maybe he's asking what love feels like.
"What are you going on about?" I asked him with a small laugh, even though I had an idea of what he ment. Niall's face flushed even more and he started playing with a string on the thigh of his jeans where a rip was.
"What Harry and Louis are doing... I just wonder why they like it so much, like, does it feel that good?" I smiled a little at the sound of how nervous he was and placed my hand over his fidgeting one. He looked at me with a questioning look in his sweet eyes.
"I'm not sure, but um, yeah." I told him and scratched the back of my neck, then ran my hand through my hair. I felt slightly uncomfortable with Niall's eyes glued on me, watching my every move. Don't get me wrong, I love when I have Niall's full attention, but not after what he just asked me. It made me feel strangely hot and too tempted.
"Zyan?" Niall asked me quietly and scoot closer to me. My heart sped up, but this time I knew it wasn't from any form of anxiety. Niall slowly moved my hand that was on his hand so it was resting on his shoulder, then placed his hand on my leg. He started running small circles into my thigh, which made me feel heat rush between my legs immediately.
"Niall?" I asked, hoping I wasn't taking this the wrong way or that something that I only dreamed of happening for the past five years is now in reach of me just taking it. I wanted to be sure this was what I think it was, not just me hoping.
I leaned in slowly, keeping eye contact with him until I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and his blue eyes fluttered shut. I leaned in just a bit more so I could feel his breath on my lips. I wasn't even sure how fast this happened or how we went from just friendly packing to this, but I didn't care. I finally had a chance at doing the one thing I needed most and I was going to do it.
Our lips bearly even brushed together before there was a knock at the door, which cause me to stand up and Niall to jump back about five feet away from me.
"Nialler, you ready? Your flight leaves in about an hour." Liam's voice spoke through the door. I zipped up Niall's suitcase and put it on the floor. He didn't even make eye contact with me once so I knew I messed up big time. The room was filled with awkward tension so I just cleared my throat and looked down at my feet.
"Have a good flight home, or wherever." I mumbled quietly, then walked out of the room before anything else happened.
When I opened the door, I saw Liam standing there with a small smile on his lips, but it fell when I stormed past him and went down towards the lift so I could just get the fuck out of here. I most likely just lost my best friend today because I wanted to kiss him. Sure, he instagnated it first, but I made the moves. Maybe I read it completely wrong and he was just trying to get me to comfort him after asking such a weird question. Maybe he was freaked out about hearing Harry and Louis going at it in their room. Or maybe, I'm just an idiot.
I took the lift down to where the cars were already waiting for us and just went and sat in the one Louis and I would be taking to the airport. After about fifteen minutes of just sitting there thinking of how stupid I am, Louis came out looking pretty fucked out and beyond pissed off. He got in the car as our suitcase were being loaded and just looked out the window taking scary deep breaths.
I knew Louis like the back of my hand and I knew when he was pissed off, you leave him alone unless you want to get sassed and cussed out until you're numb. I sat quietly and was more than happy when the car started driving away from the hotel. I looked out the back window and caught a quick glance of Niall and my heart broke. Was he crying?
Niall's POV
I couldn't help but start crying when Zayn stormed out of the room. I knew he was probably mad at me because we almost kissed and I know he has a fiancé. I'm supposed to control myself, but hearing Harry and Louis in their room and thinking of what actually goes on made me want more than anything to kiss Zayn. Just Just a simple kiss, but even that is way too much to ask of a straight, very taken man that is my best friend and band mate.
All these years I've wanted to kiss him and had chances to do it, but never did anything about it. Now, when he's engaged to be married, I take the opportunity. I'm so stupid to think that was even okay to do and Zayn woudl be fine with it.
"Nialler, why are you crying?" Liam asked as he stepped into my room. I reached my arms out to him and sobbed harder. He came over and wrapped his arms around me, just holding me to calm me down. I didn't feel calm even a little bit, but when Harry walked into my room looking like he was just hit by a bus, I pulled myself together enough to see if he was fine.
"Harry-"
"I'm fine, Louis is an ass hole. Let's just go. I want to get to LA as soon as possible." He snapped, then walked out, well, limped out of the room.
All three of us made our way down to the car, but I couldn't stop my tears as I watched Zayn's car drive away. I wanted to talk to him and tell him I'm sorry for almost making him cheat on Perrie. I wanted to make things right between us, but I knew I wouldn't be able to now because he's going home to his perfect girl while I'm here heart broken that after all these years I ruined our friendship because I'm stupid and desperate for anything Zayn gives me.
After we all got in and our luggage was placed in the trunk, our car drove off to the airport. We all sat in silence for a few minutes until Harry spoke up.
"Why does he think that things will work out for us now? He says he loves me, but I know it's bullshit just like he said. He's stupid to think I'll tell him I love him. I not getting hurt again over something that's doomed to hell." He told us. As he spoke I could literally feel the anger and disappointment coming off his body. I wasn't sure why he was so angry Louis said he loved him. I would kill to have Zayn say that to me and mean if more than when when he says it just as a friend. Maybe it's harder than it seems though, and there's more to a relationship than what I imagine.
"Harry, you know you love how desperate he is for you. It's unhealthy for both of you to keep up with this and it's showing to the fans. Maybe it's time for you both to stop this game, fuck what management says and start over." Liam said genuinely meaning what he said. I knew he was right, I saw on Harry's face he knew Liam was right too.
Harry is afraid of loving Louis because of Eleanor and the fact it's not allowed. So, he pushes Louis away anytime he confesses his love. It's hard to watch the two like this from how they used to be. Now they're fire and gasoline, where they used to be peanut butter and jelly.
Once we got to the back entrance of the airport, we got our stuff and went our separate ways after short goodbyes. Liam and Harry were going to LA and I was going to Australia where we were going to start our tour.
I know I should go home to my family, but I find it the hardest thing to say goodbye to them after such a short time spent with then so I'm not going home. My family understands, but they still don't like that I have to do this to keep myself mentally all there. This job is harder than it seems, but I just find the fun in everything. That's the thing Zayn forgot how to do.
I sat on the plane and looked at my phone before turning it off and saw Zayn tweeted something. All of me didn't want to read it. But I just couldn't help myself. I read it and felt my heart break, as well as fill with guilt.
Going home to my girl @PerrieLittleMix! Love you xx
I turned off my phone and wiped a few pathetic tears that fell. I'm so stupid to think he would kiss me. He loves someone and it definitely isn't me. I'm so stupid to stay single all this time hoping he would see me more than a friend. I guess I fall hard and fast even if the person doesn't love me. Who am I kidding though? No one can love me, especially Zayn Malik.
I slept the whole flight, just trying to find a way to run away from the heart ache I was feeling. When the plane landed, I got off and made my way to the car that was waiting. I was just lucky that it was 2:00 am and no fans were out go mob me or ask for pictures. My eyes are puffy from crying and I'm sure my hair makes makes me look like I'm a baby troll.
"To your hotel?" The driver asked me after I climbed into the black SUV. I shook my head because I wasn't going to just go sit in my hotel room letting my imagination run wild on how many kisses Perrie is going to get or how many times Zayn and her are going to-
"The best club here, that's where I'm going." I told him, cutting off my own thoughts. He nodded and started driving some place I've never been before, but I knew it was going to be fine as long as there were shots and lots of beer. It seems like only yesterday I was having my first beer here with Zayn when I was legal. That was one of the many memories I made with him, but I wanted to make more with him that involve love and a strong relationship.
I got out of the car and was let right into the club, which a was crazy scene even now, and went straight to the bar. I ordered seven shots to start off the night. Forget Zayn, he's he's a waste of my time and my heart ache. He's got his girl and I've got alcohol, seems about even.
"What's the occasion, cutie?" A sweet Australian voice came up behind me, and sat on the stool next to me. I looked over and my jaw dropped as I saw how beautiful this girl was. She had long brown hair and tan skin, with beautiful brown eyes. She was wearing all black, but her top was short and showed her beautiful curves yet still very thin body.
"J-just celebrating being in Australia." I wanted to smack myself for stuttering, but the six shots I took and jet lag isn't helping me talk to this girl.
"You aren't celebrating the right way. Let the show you." She reached over and took my last shot then grabbed my hand, dragging me out to the dance floor.
"I'm Melissa, by the way." She turned to me as we walked. I smiled at her and laced my fingers in her gentle hand.
"I'm Niall." I shouted as we got to the center of the dance floor.
I grabbed her thin hips and pulled her up against me. She started to grind against me as soon as our bodies made contact. I returned the action and brought her closer to me than before. Tonight was about forgetting Zayn and turning myself completely straight again, if that's even possible. This girl is beautiful, and everything I could ever want.
But still something in the back of my mind was telling me she reminded me of someone I was supposed to be forgetting...
A/N: aaayyyeee! There's another chapter, expect more soon! Tell me how you like it so far loves! I love you guys! Comment / Vote!
- Bri;)