It was early on a Friday evening that Emil and I were discussing new developments in the social ecosystem, according to her. She meant the house party later, but Emil just says things sometimes.
She was sprawled across the floor of her room, and I was sat on the edge of her bed. Her baby lay in a cardboard box crib on her nightstand, blissfully quiet. Curiously, she didn’t share the dorm with anyone.
“You should go. I heard it was exclusive,” said Emil, tapping away at a text on her phone.
“If it’s for the A-list of this place, I don’t think I’m invited.”
“Only because they don’t know you yet! You would be, I think. You’re hot enough.”
“Thanks.”
“If you want to go, go in my stead.”
“You’re invited?”
“You wound me,” she put her hand on where her heart would be, half-rising from the floor to sway in pain, “But yes. Just told them I’m not going but my hot friend might, so there you go.”
She exaggerates by hitting send on the screen with her index finger.
Just then, her door swung open. Fairul stepped in. Navy shirtsleeves and tight trousers balanced her fitting vest embellished with violent swirls of glittering color. If anyone else wore that, they would have looked like a particularly garish circus ringmaster.
She had Alecto in her arms as her polished shoes clacked across Emil’s hardwood flooring.
“I’m going out.” She pushed the baby to me.
“What about the kid?” I stood so I didn’t have to crane my neck to look at her. Might give her ideas.
“What about her?”
“It’s your turn to watch her.”
She shrugged. “Take care of it. I have places to be.”
Emil, bless her, interrupted before domestic violence could commence. “I’ll babysit for you guys tonight, I’m staying in with mine anyway.”
“Would you? Thanks.”
“Will you take her with you to the cabin? She doesn’t know how to get there,” said Emil, gesturing to me. Fairul whirled around at that, but couldn’t say anything.
“I’ve already told John she’ll be there, he won’t think it’s weird.”
I didn’t have my heart set on attending, but this is a little triumph over Fairul so I won’t do anything to stop it. Compared to her peacock ensemble, my black shirt and slightly less black jeans looked plain, but that’s fine. You can get away with plain.
Fairul so badly looked like she wanted an excuse to ditch me, but couldn’t find one. Eventually she sighed and beckoned a finger at me. I followed her through the door, mouthing a thanks to Emil on my way out.
I’m used to her ignoring me as much as possible, so I was caught off guard when she started making conversation.
“So, you and John?”
“Huh? No, I think I was supposed to be Emil’s plus one. Doesn’t really make sense if she’s not coming, so we’ll see how that turns out.”
She hummed in response, looking distracted.
“I don’t like boys.” I don’t know why I felt like I had to clarify that.
“Yes,” said Fairul.
The rest of the walk was spent in silence until we came to a car near the school gates. The driver rolled down their window.
“Hey, we have a problem. There’s only space for one more person -” he turned to glare at someone inside the car. “So one of you has to sit on someone else.”
Fairul and I looked at each other. The door opened; she sighed and got in. She glared at me.
“Well?”
So I sat on her lap. It was awkward for both of us.
“This is in violation of road safety rules,” she declared. It also wasn’t safe for my lungs, because I was so anxious about touching her that I was sitting rigid on her thighs.
“We’re not putting Sam on the roof deck.”
I decided not to ask these people how they knew my name, even if I have never met any of them before. Fairul’s clique must be in on every loop.
The car took off in relative silence, and it all felt tense to me. Fairul and I were stacked and frozen, moving as little as possible to not inconvenience the other. Well, I was apologetic; I think she was just annoyed.
It was smooth riding on the asphalt, but soon enough the SUV swerved onto a rocky dirt path off the main road. As expected, everyone in the car jostled in their seats, protected by their seatbelts.
Unfortunately, Fairul’s lap doesn’t come with any safety measures, so I would be on my way out the windshield if not for her arm clapping me across the chest. Oh. Um.
“Nathan,” she said, voice very close to my ear. “Slow the fuck down.”
Nathan - the boy behind the wheel - apologized but didn’t slow down. Fairul’s arm moved lower on my torso, like one of those guardrails on rollercoaster rides, and braced me against her. Right. We didn’t want me rattling inside the car. Her hand was unbearably warm. Nobody else spoke.
We stayed like that all throughout the little dirt path and into the forest until we got to a cabin in a clearing. When we parked among the other cars already present is when she finally let me go. I couldn’t get out fast enough.
As our group entered the wooden door, it dawned on me that I didn’t know anyone here save for Fairul, and she’s already among the claustrophobic sea of bodies gathering in the middle of the cabin, but my eyes landed on a familiar face.
Christina walked toward me like a man on a mission, holding one bottle in each hand. When she got to stabbing distance, she held one out to me.
“For you, new girl.”
“Thanks.” The label was unfamiliar, and it’s from someone I barely know who I think has something against me, but it was unopened and I needed a drink. She offered a bottle opener. How thoughtful.
I was hovering near a wall, so she leaned against it - for some reason - and took a sip of her own bottle.
“I thought you didn’t like me.” Sometimes I say things before I can think about their results. She huffed.
“That’s debatable. What brings you here?”
“Emil.”
“She’s not around?” I shook my head. “Shame.”
“Well,” she said, kicking off the wall. “Don’t stay here all night, go dance, play something. Enjoy yourself.”
I’m not joining that cluster of sweaty bodies, and I’m certainly not drunk enough to be making out with random people. “Maybe later.”
She waved vaguely in my direction as she walked away.
I’m not entirely sure how many bottles I’ve had before my brain finally decided that jumping into the mass of other alcohol-inebriated teenagers was a good idea. I was between two girls, getting grinded on, when an arm shot out from the crowd and pulled me away.
“Hey--!” I said, only slightly slurring. Christina knelt to the floor and dragged me down with her.
“There, now we have enough people.” The people in the circle I just joined were in various stages of wasted; among them, my eyes caught on a familiar whiskey gaze. Fairul’s vest was open and hung off her shoulders, her shirt’s top three buttons undone, revealing a hint of black lace. She was staring back at me, with a sour expression on her face.
“Spin, god damn it!” Christina yelled, right in my ear. Some random boy twirled a not-empty bottle in the middle of the circle, splashing amber liquid on the wooden floor. It landed on him, and he bellowed a laugh. He spun it again, and it landed on another boy. A hush fell over the circle.
“Well, you have to do it. It’s the rules,” I said. All eyes fell to me.
“She’s right,” announced Fairul, breaking the silence. We shared a glance, like an inside joke.
Christina started chanting: “Kiss the boy! Kiss the boy!”
The first fellow looked outraged, but his bottle partner was already on the move and pecked him on the lips. We cheered, and he pushed him away immediately.
In the next five spins, it was a girl and a boy touching mouths, and I was safe - so far. It was Christina’s turn, and she gave the bottle an uncoordinated spin. It stopped on Fairul. She opened her mouth to speak, but Christina was already crawling across the floor.
Fairul was sitting cross-legged, eyes open, her hands on her knees as Christina met her lips with an open-mouthed kiss. The circle erupted into cheers. When the blonde’s hand reached to slip between fabric and touch the skin peeking through the gap in her shirt, she pushed her away. Christina laughed. Fairul wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and reached for the bottle.
“This is the seventh one, right? We’re doing the room?” said a voice. I was too unfocused to notice who.
The bottle spun, my mind twirling with it. It wasn’t until Fairul turned to look at me that I realized I was at the end.
I could have left the circle at any time, but it was too late now. Again, people erupted into wild screaming, and people were pulling Fairul and I up and towards a door I hadn’t previously noticed.
“You get seven minutes, babes,” said a boy, and that sobered me up.
“What? No -” But I was already through the door, after they threw Fairul in. For a brief moment, we stood staring at each other, frozen in time, but the noise of the party shattered our bubble. She tried to turn the doorknob, but someone was holding it shut.
“Don’t even think about waiting the minutes out, we’re not letting you leave until you do something loud enough!” The laughter was audible even with the door closed.
Fairul turned to look at me, and I turned to look around. It was someone’s bedroom, with a single window on one wall. She was still looking at me when I turned back.
“Should we fake it?” She glared at me; I shrugged. I wouldn’t mind kissing Fairul, I think.
“What are you doing?” I had flopped onto the bed, facedown.
“They’re not letting us out, and my back hurts. Join me.” She crossed her arms and stood her ground.
Someone pounded on the door. “Are you guys fucking in there yet?!”
Fairul scoffed, walked to the window, and swung her leg over it. I shot up from the pillows.
“Is that safe?” The woman was legitimately about to jump out of a window, the least I could do was be concerned.
“This cabin is one floor.” And out she went.
With nothing better to do, I moved to follow her. As I attempted the same maneuver, my legs must not have been long enough, because I stumbled on the sill and fell. I possibly probably would have broken my neck if not for Fairul scooping me up like a little baby.
I stood upright, swaying a little, when she grabbed my wrist. “This way.”
“Where are we going?”
“Come on, it’ll be funny.” Wrist-in-hand, we ran into the surrounding forest.
This is a terrible idea. We’re going to get lost in the woods, absolutely wasted drunk, and no one will find us until it’s too late. I didn’t want to die in my teenage years; I still needed to fall in love and have sex or whatever.
Apparently I said that last part out loud, because Fairul craned her neck back toward me, went huh, and tripped on an exposed tree root. Of course I moved to catch her before she fell, but I was inebriated so I ended up just launching myself at her.
We both crashed among the stones and scattered leaves, her arm around my back. She was laughing, her face was peaceful and entirely too close.
Lying atop Fairul on that forest floor in the dim moonlight was the most romantic thing to ever happen to me, and that’s sad.
She didn’t push me away, but I scrambled off of her as soon as I got to my senses.
“Where are we?” I said, sitting against a tree trunk. Its roots were gnarled and sturdy and made for a terrible seat. As we ran, the trees became dense, their twisted branches ripping at our skin and clothes.
“No idea.” She dropped right next to me, her side pressed up against mine. I hugged my knees.
“Are you cold?” Fairul slipped out of her vest, realized that wouldn’t help, and put it back on. I saw it all on her face. Instead, she decided to put her arm across my shoulders.
I was a little chilly, but that made me freeze. Not for long, though - she was warm. Her mouth was now dangerously close to the curve of my neck, after perching her head on my collarbone. Was she blowing at me on purpose?
“That tickles.” She said nothing, but I could feel her smile.
“We should go back now.” You can’t blame me for being eager to leave.
“Of course. Lead the way.” She looked up at me, mock-expectantly.
“I don’t know how.”
“That makes two of us.” I frowned; she didn’t smirk, but I could see it in the glint in her eyes.
So it really was going to end like this - in some random forest with a girl I didn’t know how to feel about.
“Don’t worry,” said Fairul, watching me go through the beginning of panic. “They’ll find us.”
It would be reassuring if it weren’t so vague, but her arm tightened around me. “Who’s they?”
“The others. They’ll know what to do.” Belatedly, I realized she meant the rest of the people at the party. I’m sure our seven minutes are up and they’ve found an empty bed and an open window.
“Huh. So you do this often?” She had her head resting on me again, and I could feel her breath as she chuckled.
“Yeah. I was alone though, all of the other times. You’re the first.” I felt her slowly move upward, and felt how charged the ensuing silence was.
Turning to look at her made me see how close she was. She leaned in.
“How long do you think until they find us?” I had snapped my entire head forward so I didn’t kiss her on accident.
Fairul was unfazed. She leaned in until her brow rested against my temple, and murmured very close to the skin below my ear. I exhaled a barely-controlled gasp. “Is that how badly you want to get away from me?”
“You’re different when you’re drunk.” My skin was burning.
I felt rather than heard her scoff. “I’m different when I’m sober.”
“That’s what I said.” She had pulled away by now, giving my lungs a little more breathing room.
She hummed in reply and retracted her arm. The gale blew through the trees, and I dropped my head between my knees. Mostly to hide my face. In the distance, some bird squawked.
After a while, something pressed against me. “I’m cold,” Fairul said. She wasn’t touching me anywhere other than our shoulders, cradling her head in her arms.
I think she fell asleep right away, because she didn’t move until her head slipped down and I repositioned her without reaction. The trees swayed, and the foliage parted enough to shine a beam of cold light on her face. I held my breath and looked away. The symphony of the forest was soothing, once you closed your eyes.
The next thing I remember is cold light shining directly in my face, blinding me to whoever said, “What the fuck, guys. It’s been three hours.”
“Mhhngf.”
“We need to get back now.” That was Nathan, I think. He didn’t even sound surprised, just resigned. The flashlight was finally moved away from my face, letting me see. It was still dark and quiet out - very early morning.
Fairul was still against the tree, and another boy was pulling her up on her arm. “John, you’re chafing me.”
In response, he heaved harder - no luck, still - and nearly stumbled when she stood abruptly on her own.
Nathan had me by the bicep and let go once I got to my feet. We tramped through the forest, like a band of lost explorers, which is exactly what we were if the boys didn’t have GPS.
I slowed down so I could walk beside Fairul. “Why didn’t you use your phone?”
“Why didn’t you use yours?” In my defense, I was too busy gay panicking, as well as regular we’re-lost-in-the-woods panicking.
The rest of the walk was spent in semi-companionable silence, until we got to the car.
“Strap me to the roof, boys. I’m tired of sitting down,” Fairul announced.
“Get in the car,” said Nathan, voice like a tired parent to a misbehaved three year-old.
I couldn’t get in the car myself, because I we still had too many people. Everyone else in the vehicle was asleep or drunk or both, so Fairul and I had to stack again. I wasn’t looking forward to that.
Neither was she, because she pulled open the door and I had to wait for her to get ready, except she never did. She parted her thighs and pointed to the space between. “Here.”
“The seat, Samantha,” she said, when I didn’t move. I was on auto-pilot when I placed myself between her legs.
Surprisingly, it was more comfortable that it looked. She was soft, and her arms were strong when she braced me against her front.
“It gets rough," she said. Neither of us mentioned that the car hadn’t moved yet.
Nathan pulled out of the clearing and the entire ride was silent, save for one of the drunks muttering occasionally.
---
You have twenty-eight (28) unread emails.