(Thank you @SaphiraRain for sending me this photo of Ella you made! I love it! Also the title is a reference to the song by Madds Buckley. Check it out! It really reminds me of Midnight Mass.)
*****
Ella looked out towards the rec centre, her heart begging her to go.
The wind whipped her hair around her face, as she stared longingly at the building. Riley and Father Paul were inside, perhaps waiting for her, or perhaps they'd forgotten.
She turned away, her eyes downcast, feeling the sink of regret in the pit of her stomach as she walked home. It was late now. They'd be finishing soon anyways. The only reason she wanted to go was to speak with Father Paul, and that wasn't much of an honourable reason to attend.
As she began to walk back home, when she heard a raspy voice call out her name behind her.
"Ella..."
Her heart beat began to be louder as it beat faster. She slowly looked over her shoulder and saw Father Paul leaning against the door to the rec centre. It wasn't so much leaning, than using the door to support himself. He looked pale and distressed, seemingly about to collapse again.
Ella quickly rushed over to the frail looking man.
"Father! Are you going to fall again?" She asked offering her hand out to him for support.
He looked down at it hesitantly before taking it and letting her lead him into the rec centre to sit. It was dark and empty inside, until Ella flipped on the light.
"Ella..." he said again, his tone shaking.
She sat across from him watching him nervously.
"Should I bring you home? Or call Sarah?" Ella asked.
He shook his head. "Don't worry about me. Worry about what I have to say."
Ella felt anxious, waiting for him to speak. She had no idea what was about to come out of his mouth, but she believed it to be his way of feeling her he needed space, or asking her to stay away, or just rejecting her all together.
However it wasn't any of that.
"I mean to apologize to you, Ella. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, avoiding you. You don't deserve that, and you certainly don't deserve no explanation. So I-" he stopped, lurching over himself as if he was about to hurl.
"You don't look so well Father, I think I should bring you home. We can talk more tomorrow, or when you've gotten better," Ella told him, helping him to his feet.
As he followed her to the door, his arm extended past her, keeping the door closed, and keeping her from opening it.
She could feel his shaky breath on the back of her neck, as she slowly turned around, the blood rushing to her cheeks.
He was standing tall, behind her, looking down into her eyes, as she looked up at him through her lashes.
"You need rest Paul," Ella told him, raising her brow.
"I want to tell you everything. All the secrets, complete honesty. But I can't. I don't want you to run away," he said, tears forming on the corners of his wise, dark eyes.
Ella raised her hand, and whipped away the tear falling down his cheek.
"I'm not going to do that," she assured him in a gentle whisper.
The tears fell faster, as he looked back at her sorrowfully.
"You would if you knew..." he whispered.
Ella stood on her toes and kissed him gently on his lips. She didn't know why he was saying what he was saying, but she didn't believe him to be bad.
He kissed her back, gently at first, like the ones they'd shared before, but there was a desperation in his kiss that shocked her.
He began to kiss her harder, slamming her up against the wall with a deep rooted sense of hunger.
Ella noted how his lips tasted of iron. An unusual taste, but she couldn't seem to get enough of it.
His slender hands held up her face, as he chewed on her bottom lip.
The kiss became rough, something she had never seen in the man. He desperately searched her mouth with his tongue, tasting every inch of it.
She felt her face become red, she loved his gentle, caring side, but this one seemed was passionate and hungry. Something she had never experienced from anyone before.
As he slid her up the wall she wrapped her legs around his torso, until she felt him grow shaky, his knees buckling.
"Paul!" She exclaimed, catching him from hitting the ground.
"Alright that's it! You need rest," she scolded him, holding him up on her shoulder and carrying him out of the rec centre.
As she approached the rectory, she became aware of faint voices coming from inside. One of them, distinctly Bev's.
"Ugh, I really don't want to face Bev right now," she groaned as they reached the front step.
"That's alright, I'll be fine. Go home, and don't worry about me," Father Paul said, regaining his strength and standing up straight.
Ella nodded. "Fine, but I'm coming tomorrow with fresh coffee and breakfast, and we're going to talk."
He smiled, the same charming smile Ella grew to love.
He leaned down and kissed her gently, before she turned away.
She heard him cough and looked back, worriedly. He seemed bad again, clutching his side.
"Paul..." she started.
He looked up at her, tears in his eyes, coughing violently.
"I love you, Ella." Was all he said before opening the door and slipping inside.
Ella stood there, dumbfounded. Surely he was delirious from his illness? There was no way she had heard him correctly. She was about to walk up and follow him when she remembered Bev and a few others were in there.
She walked back home, completely lost in thought.
When she arrived as was done with thinking, feeling her brain ache as she flopped down on her couch.
Ugh. I need a cold shower.
*****
Ella got up the next day and dressed for mass, her heart racing at the thought of seeing Paul again. Had he really meant what he said? She didn't know...but she figured she needed to speak with him.
She walked down the street with Erin and the rest of the crowd. Ella was blushing profusely and Erin could tell.
"Soooo...what happened between you two?" She asked after finally addressing Ella's bright pink face.
"I am almost 100% sure we are not talking about the same person," Ella replied.
"Don't you dare tell me it was-"
"Whoever you're thinking of I promise you, you're wrong."
Erin thought deeply for a minute, desperately trying to uncover Ella's secrets.
"Hang on...was it Riley?" She asked.
Ella almost laughed. "Erin, you have been paranoid about that since we were 12. I can assure you, Riley and I are like siblings."
"Well then I give up," Erin scoffed.
As they got closer to the church, they could see the crowd begin to turn away.
Ella and Erin exchanged a confused look, and went to check the billboard.
"Mass is canceled," Erin read out loud.
Ella felt a tinge of disappointment, but she didn't feel to bad about it.
Paul was in bad shape last night, makes sense he wouldn't be able to do it this morning. I just hope he's feeling better. Maybe I'll visit him later, to check in and to talk.
"Huh. Strange I don't remember Mass ever being canceled. Even when it was just Leeza, Pruitt would always go," Erin commented.
Ella shrugged. "He's probably just recovering from his fall yesterday. It's better that he isn't up there shouting at us about second chances today."
Erin snorted. "Yeah you're probably right. Well, want to head to the store with me? I have a few things to pick up...and a few things to return."
Ella looked at her curiously. Erin had seemed down for a while now, but she figured she would tell her in her own time.
"Ella..." Erin said slowly as they walked towards the store, "the reason Riley stayed over the other night was because...I lost my baby."
Ella stopped in her tracks at the news, and faced Erin.
"Erin I'm so sorry. That must feel awful I can't even imagine. I love you so much Erin, Riley and I both, just know that we're here for you," Ella assured her.
Erin gave her a genuine smile. "I know and I appreciate it. Most people have just told me, "oh you know god works in mysterious ways," but ever since then? Well I'm not sure what His big mighty plan is. Make me suffer even more? Let every mother who's literally carrying a child of God...just lose them? No. I don't think I want to believe that anymore.." Erin trailed off.
Ella nodded giving her a sympathetic smile. She couldn't help but feel guilty. She had been so caught up with Paul the last few weeks she forgot about her friends, the people who were really here for her.
"Hey why don't we have a girls night? We'll get a bunch of junk from the store and watch a terrible movie, just like we used to," Ella suggested.
Erin smiled and nodded, "sounds perfect," she agreed.
Together they walked down to the general store, ready to relive their childhood, at least just for the night.
*****
"Please I'm never going to sleep if we watch that!" Erin exclaimed as Ella grinned holding up a vampire movie.
"I'm serious Els. I'm not that great with gore," She told her, sinking deeper under her blanket on the couch.
The room was trashed with wrappers, food crumbs and cans of pop.
It was nearly midnight after a long evening of marathon-ing.
It helped to relive some of the guilt Ella felt, but she was also just happy to be spending time with her best friend again. Neither of them thinking about adult issues, instead focused on reliving their childhood.
Erin watched Ella intently as she loaded a dvd into the DVD player. They decided to watch all the old movies they used to watch, hoping for that rush of nostalgia. And they got it.
"That better not be-" Erin started.
"It's not the vampire movie," Ella said rolling her eyes.
"I think I'm gonna crash from all that sugar," Erin yawned.
"Yeah I know, I thought I'd put on our old favourite movie, so we could fall asleep to it," Ella suggested.
Erin nodded and yawned again, spreading out on the couch as Ella lay on the makeshift bed she'd made for herself on the ground.
"Wait...is this?" Erin said smiling in disbelief.
"Yeah I found it! When I went to help my parents pack up their house, I found it lodged under that hardwood board we used to hid things under before," Ella explained.
The familiar music filled their ears as they watched the staticky graphic slide the name across the screen.
Fantasia 2000
Was an old movie about the first Disney pictures. It was all there short animations. It didn't have any talking, and it had a very peaceful soundtrack that Erin and Ella used to watch to fall asleep when they had sleepovers. Ella's mom had used it to calm them down once, and they quickly needed it to fall asleep every time they were together.
Ella could already feel her eyelids dropping at the familiar music that always put them to sleep, and she could tell Erin's were as well.
Halfway through the movie they had both fallen asleep, peacefully drifting off down to the dreaming world.
Perhaps that was the case for Erin, but Ella's sleep was anything but peaceful.
Her dream consisted of a raging fire surrounding her, hungry, glowing orange eyes peering at her through the flames.
The fire parted, just as the Red Sea, and Father Paul stepped through it, holding it his hand towards her.
Join.
Desire burned within her, feeling the pain of hunger build up inside her chest.
Fools! I have been fighting hunger craving a lot longer than tonight!
A sharp ringing filled her ears, as she watched herself slowly walk towards the rectory. As the door slowly creaked open, she opened her eyes.
The peaceful music from the movie was still playing gently. As she looked at the oven she saw she hadn't slept for more than 10 minutes, but she was wide awake now.
Ella sat up still hearing the ringing in her ears and felt her heart beat so loud, she could swear it could be seen, beating out out of her chest.
She glanced over at Erin, who was still fast asleep.
Her mind was going a million miles an hour, as she sat up and threw her coat on.
She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew it was leading her to the rectory.
It was midnight now, as she hurries down the empty gravel streets. There was gentle breeze, sending a shiver down her spine.
Her movements felt involuntary, as her legs kept guiding her towards the rectory.
She felt nervous, seeing Father Paul again. She didn't know what was going to happen when she walked through that door, but whatever she had been guessing at the time, was far beyond anything she had imagined.
She approached the small cabin, feeling the anticipation welling up in her stomach.
She turned the knob, slowly, feeling if her heart be any faster, it would explode.
The door opened, revealing a jaw dropping sight.
Joe collie, lay on the floor in a pool of blood. His face had lost all colour, having gone completely white. His eyes were closed, looking as though he had just taken a long nap, but there was no doubting, this man was dead.
He was dead. Lifeless, fully devoid of any feelings or thoughts anymore. He'd no longer experience anything, he was gone. Completely gone.
Ella stared in disbelief, her eyes following the trail of blood towards...Father Paul, hunched up in the corner of the room, his face covered in blood, staring at her with guilt filled eyes.
"It's..." Ella hesitated... "it's funny. Y-you'd think being a forensic scientist...you'd become numb t-to...dead bodies...gruesome crime scenes..."
She gulped, slowly walking around the body, her knees shaking. Father Paul watching her intensely.
The head came into view, revealing a large hole in his head, blood slowly dripping out, bits of his brain scattered across the floor.
The smell was awful, making her lungs ache.
She crouched down next to the head, looking at the brain strewn across the floor.
She swallowed nervously, her head feeling lighter than air.
"W-what most people don't know...is..." she exhaled shakily, "you never become truly numb to it..."
The stench and the sight of the rotting blood finally caught up to her, all the food she'd eaten earlier coming up, as she ran to an open window and vomited.
The fresh air felt nice, calming her down, but now the reality of the situation hit her like a truck.
She turned back inside, wiping her face and locked eyes with the man, his long, slender legs hunched into his chest, fresh blood dripping down his chin.
He looked up at her sorrowfully, his mouth slightly agape.
Ella felt the fear rise in her chest as she turned and ran for the door.
"Ella..." he gasped, "p-please listen..."
"Listen?!" She shouted turning around, pressing her back against the door and reaching for the handle. "You want me to LISTEN?! After you just slurped up Joe like a damn JUICE BOX?!"
He didn't say anything, he just looked her her, the guilt falling from his eyes in tears.
Ella scoffed and ran out the door, sprinting away.
And he just watched her go.
*****
Guys the scene above really reminds me of that song from Beauty and the Beast called Evermore. Like that's just how I imagine Paul feeling you know? Anyways I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for all the support it makes my day every time I see that notification pop up on my phone. I literally smile so wide like and idiot no matter where I am and get weird looks from the people around me lol. See you in the next chapter!
*****