Will.
Will.
Will.
The only thought in Mike's mind as he biked through the muddy paths of the forest.
He knew where he was.
It was so obvious.
He stopped biking. He was about to enter an area in the forest, away from the path. There were trees everywhere, it was impossible to bike through that. So he took his bike by his hand and moved fast into the forest. It was still pouring badly, which concerned the black haired boy. It seemed like Mother Nature wasn't supporting him. Rain was never a good sign, wasn't it? Still, that didn't stop him from moving forward. Even though, he was cold, his socks were wet and his clothes were covered in splatters of mud with some lost leaves stuck in his curls. He'd probably get sick after this day but...
Nothing could stop him.
He was going to tell him.
Mike was finally about to do the one thing his heart had been screaming for in all those years. And he didn't care anymore. He didn't care they were both boys. He didn't care about what others would think.
He only cared about Will... and how losing him would be far worse.
Robin had made him realize that. He slowed down his pace, as the familiar, small open space in the woods was in sight. Somehow he always ended up at the place, without getting lost. He's been there so many times when he was younger that the location became general knowledge. He had some good memories from it. Why did he ever stop coming there, he wondered. He shook his thoughts away as he reached his destination.
But something didn't add up. A loud thunder filled Mike's ears as his eyes registered the sight in front of him.
There was no castle Byers.
Not anymore.
Mike stood still in front of a big pile of broken, wood panels together with comics, blankets and ripped photographs. His eyes catched a photograph of the party winning the science contest, but it was ripped... Right in the middle... Where he and Will had happily stood next to each other.
The scene made Mike's heart ache.
This was Will's safe space.
And because of him, because of his stupid actions, it was gone. Dark thoughts of self-hate were about to creep up on him once again, but this time, he wouldn't let them get to him. He was here for a reason, that reason was all about Will. He wouldn't fail that reason, because of self-pity. Will was more important.
He looked around to see if he could find him. However, his surroundings were silent, trees moving in the rhythm of the strong wind, nature proceeding its life cycle. There was no sign of another human other than him being there.
Yet, he stayed. His stubborn self didn't let him go search somewhere else. Will had to be here, he had been here, so he couldn't be far. He decided to wait. He put his bike against a large tree and sat beside it. He was certain Will would return here, his heart was telling him that.
An hour went by. The sound of Mike's stomach rambling, notified him that it was past 6pm, maybe almost 7 pm as it was getting darker.
Come on Will, where are you?
The longer he stayed there waiting on him, the more Mike started debating whether he should try another day or not.
He decided to wait for another half hour... there in the blistering cold.
Footsteps that caused cracking twigs, snapped Mike out of his slumber. How long did he sleep?The sound came along with soft whimpering. So soft as if the person tried his best to keep it in.
He slowly emerged from behind the tree and approached the back of the person's figure, who was facing the pile, the one that had been Castle Byers.
It was him.
His footstepts made obvious noice as he slowly wandered forward and stopped right behind Will. They both stood still, so still that they could've been petrified. A hesistant hand rose up to Will's shoulder, but it stayed there. Before it even had the chance to make contact, Will spoke.
"Go away. I-I said I didn't want to see you anymore". His voice was trembling, sore and full of sadness. The tone hurted him. "Please Will, I'm not letting you go that easely". His hand landed on Will's small shoulder. The smaller boy flinched at the touch, which was soon followed by a light squeeze, a comforting one. A one that said, that it was going to be okay.
"You should.", Will muttered. It was clear in his voice that he was fighting the urge to burst into sobs once again. It pained Mike even more, knowing that Will had been here for hours in the rain, alone, cold and hurt. "Will I'm sorry".
Will scoffed, "Don't be". Then turned his shoulder away from Mike, causing the hand to fall by his side. Mike sighed, he wanted to fix this, he needed to fix this. How could he ever go live on, knowing Will will not be there to brighten up his day.
Mike collected all his courage and stood now in front of the smaller boy, who refused to look him in the eye. Mike observed the boy in front of him for a minute. His gaze was pointed at his muddy shoes, arms laid across his chest while fingers were nervously fidgetting the skin around his elbows. Mike fighted the urge to just wrap his arms around him and pull him into a hug. He knew that if he were to do that, he would get pushed away or even get hit. He needed his attention first, going step by step, that's what his heart told him.
Though, it was beating like crazy.
"Will... will you please listen to me?", he pleaded, but was immediately met with a shaking head. "No... You- you've hurt me enough already... What are you going to do? Laugh at me? Make fun of me? Hurt my feelings again?". He saw Will's eyes getting glassy once again and said, "No of course not! I would never do that, trust me".
"Whatever", he got as reply. Will was still looking at anywhere but Mike. It annoyed him a bit. He wanted to see those eyes. Those big, hazel eyes that manage to make him fall in love all over again every time they blink. "Will?.... Will, please look at me".
There was no reaction. The rain around them was loud, thunder interrupting the dreading silence between the two guys. The little light of the sun above the angry clouds, slowly saying its goodbye and Mike was losing hope. What if it was already to late to make things right?
Mike Wheeler, who always had his entire life in control. Always wanting the world to love him and how he would become something big in the future. Never having to worry about one single thing.
That had changed now. The Mike who once thought the world was in his hands was now replaced by a nervous, insecure mess of a person. And he didn't blame anyone for it. He did it to himself. For the first time he felt like he wasn't that great as he thought he was and he also didn't care anymore about the world. There was just one person that mattered, the one who refused to look at him. He balled his hands in fists, letting the sleeves of his sweater covering them. He had never felt so small before, so vunerable. If only Will-
-... would look up. Will's exhausted eyes wandered from Mike's shoes to his chest and rested there for a few seconds, before they moved on to his face. There they were, Will's golden brown eyes. His gaze came along with a warm feeling inside Mike, a feeling that intensified by a thousand degrees. Mike was left tongue-tied.
Pretty boy.
There was a silence as they both stared at each other in the eyes and Mike didn't mind it. He could do this all day, just looking at Byers' beauty. However, Will broke eye contact, much to the other's dismay and muttered, "What do you want, Mike?".
"I want to hold your hand".
The words were out before Mike had the chance to give it a proper thought. Though it wasn't a lie. He craved for that simple touch. It was a small gesture, but it meant so much. It was the symbol of connecting people with each other. And god, did Mike wanted to feel that kind of connection with Will. He wanted to reassure him, and let him feel the heat from his body which was caused due to his precense.
"W-what?", Will asked, widened eyes meeting his eyes again. Mike reached out his arm towards him, "Please", he said. He wasn't thinking anymore, Will's eyes had that effect on him. It was like a drug, he felt like he was floating, in a good way.
"Will you hold my hand?"
Will glanced at the hand for a second, before his eyes made his way back to Mike's. His mouth slightly opened in disbelief and Mike noticed the intenser skin-pulling at Will's elbow. Slowly, Will's hand detached itself from his elbow. With a trembling movement it reached Mike's hand, but it stopped right above the warmth radiating from the taller's boy body. Mike watched the hesistance in Will's face. His gaze was fixed with concern on the hands. It was as though he expected at any moment that Mike would scream out loud "PRANK" and tell him it was all a joke. It wasn't. Believe me, Mike thought. Accept it.
Please, hold my hand.
Soft, delicate skin met Mike's hand. He was taken aback for a second, but he quickly strenghtened their hold. He had held Will's hand before, at the fair a few weeks back. However, that had only lasted for a second or two and was followed by no explanation. This time it would be different. Mike would hold his hand as long as possible and tell him the truth. No secrets anymore.
Mike couldn't move his gaze from the hand hold. How could he, when as soon as his skin made contact with Will, hundreds alarm bells went of in his body. His hand was cold. He carefully inertwined heir fingers, doing his best to radiate his warmth to the smaller one. When doing this, he couldn't believe how small Will's hand was compared to his. It melted his heart. A small smile found its way to his face.
Mike didn't let go of his hand as he pushed himself to look at him again. A puzzled gaze enterred his vision. Even though it was raining, the sky was dark, they were next to a devastated construction and the whole scene just looked horrible. Will Byers made up for that. Mike felt like he could do anything, if just Will would be right beside him. The amount of adoration and love he felt for him at that moment, he realised this wouldn't be something that would last a short time. He wanted him to know, to feel all the serotonin he received whenever he saw him.
But how do you put this feeling into words?
The big talk Mike Wheeler who was so full of himself, now was nervous and a loss of words.
"Thanks", he said, not entirely sure for what he was thanking him for. "I mean- no... uh I don't know where to start I guess... I uhm.. I... you.... erghh.... hmm", Mike was struggling to bring words out. Will's eyes had that effect on him now that he stood there about to confess to the one of the most important, maybe even THE most important person in his life.
Everything was suddenly so scary.
Will on the other hand still stared at him attentivately with glassy eyes. His hazel eyes shined due the watery layer on his eyes. Uncertainty was still very present in his face. Mike didn't enjoy that sight.
Will deserved happiness.
He took a small step towards the smaller boy, minimilasing the gap between them.
"You know... a weird ice cream girl once told me, 'actions mean much more than words'".
His voice was shaky, mind not ready for what he was about to do, heart filled with excitement. He gave Will's hand a gentle squeeze before hesistant fingers let go. He leaned in close to Will so their chests were nearly touching.
Mike analized Will's face. He saw a hint of confusion, surprise, but also nervousness in Will's look. The sadness suddenly far gone. This made Mike's lips lift in a small smile again as he gently took both sides of Will's face in his hands. He saw how his lips slightly parted in surprise due to the touch.
This was perfect.
Mike leaned in very carefully as he didn't want to scare him. He stopped when their foreheads were touching, lips just inches apart. He could feel Will's breathing in his face and did he love that feeling. Though, he didn't dare to close the gap between them, just yet. He felt like there still needed something to be said but, he couldn't figure out what...
"I want you to know that I'm sorry and...- ", he started but to his surprise he gets interrupted. "Sshhht-" Will shushed him and that was the cue for Mike to finally lean in further. His lips met Will's again for the first time since that night. And did it feel good.
He pressed a few tender kisses on Will's soft lips, before he kept lingering on them with slow and gentle movements. Mike felt Will's hands lightly pressing on his chest and he swore that he could explode any moment by now.
As thunder grew louder, and lightning struck more, their kiss intensified. Will's lips had an mesmerizing effect on Mike. He got lost in the kiss and after a minute or two he slightly parted his mouth, hoping for Will to do the same. As usual he followed every single movement of Mike.
He tenderly pushed his tongue into Will's mouth, deepening the kiss. but still mantaining the pace. Though, he didn't realize he was leaning too much on the smaller boy. Will took a few steps back, while still kissing Mike, untill his back met a tree. Mike's hands left Will's face and lowered down to mildly grab Wills' waist. At the same time Will's arms found Mike's neck and soon his hands were drowning in his dark curls.
Mike felt new forms of sensations run through his body. This feeling, this unique feeling. He wanted to hold onto it and never let it go. It was at that moment he knew this is what he wanted for sure.
He wanted him.
He wanted to love him.
He wanted to be with him.
As long as life allowed him too, he was never letting Will Byers go. That was a promise.
Damp, brown hair brushed the crook of Mike's head. His brain couldn't tell him how long he was standing there, holding Will in his arms. It had been overwhelmed with happiness that it couldn't think straight anymore.
Will was there. In his arms. His soft breathing tickling the side of Mike's jaw. They were closer than ever. He lightly played with the soggy, brown strands of Will's hair. His fingers drew circles on his scalp as they then slid away through Will's hair. Yet wet, somehow soft.
As much as Mike loved this moment, this moment of unspoken words though filled with passionate feelings. And as much as he wished they could hold each other like this forever, he knew Will was waiting for him to say something, to explain things.
It was hard, since Mike didn't even know himself why he did the things he did, but he had to try. For Will.
He took a deep breath in, as hints of nervousness slid down his veins. He breathed out, shakingly. Before pulling back from they're embrace, he softly kissed Will's head. He felt Will flinch as he pulled back, he himself a little startled too. His body was acting on his own, led by his heart, doing the things it wanted to do, to feel for so long.
Big, questioning, hazel eyes gazed up at him. God those eyes, how many times Mike got lost in them and it was about to happen again. The floating feeling he got from them, was mesmerizing. It brought him in a never-ending trance...
"Fuck..." he muttered as he leaned in. Pink lips desperatly searching the others, but never meeting them. Delicate hands prevented Mike from leaning further. As Mike stared down at the boy, he knew that what he was about to do, was extremely idiotic of him.
"Mike...-" Will whispered, "I-".
"I know, I'm sorry... It's just-". His heart paced up, nervousness and unwanted angst attacked his insides. Why was he scared? He knew everything would turn out okay if he'd just explain things. Yet, there still was this awfull feeling that he would lose Will.
Please just don't ever leave me.
Warmth met his hand, "Why would I leave now?", the brunette said with a light squeeze in his hand. Mike felt a little embarassed as he wasn't supposed to say that out loud. But the simple touch of Will's hand in his, calmed him. He felt a lot more at ease.
"Will... I, I've been in love with you this whole time. Seriously, you have no idea. I think it even started back when we first met. I always knew you were special and... that feeling whenever you were around I... It was always there, I just...", a shaking breath left his mouth. He wasn't used to pouring his heart out, but it had to be said. He had to convey his feelings.
".. never realised what it was... untill now. A few weeks back actually, after the fair. And ever since, I mean even before I've been a complete jerk to you. Disappearing and giving you weird signals and I'm sorry, I really am. I can't imagine the amount of hurt I've must have brought to you and I know I don't deserve you, I really don't. But please, give me another chance, to make everything for real this time. I promise I won't let you down, not anymore. Please."
Mike didn't know he was crying, untill a soft finger wiped a tear away from his face. His heart fluttered, Will was close again.
"Why were you being a jerk?", he asked. Mike looked down in defeat. "Honestly I don't know. I was so confused, I mean... This kind of love is not supposed to be and that fact held me back."
He watched how Will lowered his head. He must have thought that too. The fact that two boys weren't meant to be with each other in that way. That people would never accept them. That they'd just be two weirdo's to the whole world.
However, as long as they were together, wasn't that enough?
"But Will, I don't care anymore. After everything you told me today, I realised that not having you by my side is far worse than not be accepted by society. So please, forgive me Will, please... I- I...", Mike gulped. The words were right there, ready to be spoken. He softly lifted Will's chin with his other hand. He looked him right in the eye as he spoke out those three meaningful words, "I love you".
Will gasped and shyly covered his face with his two hands. "You're- you're kidding", he said in a muffled voice, "this can't be happening". Mike smiled a little at the sight. He took both hands in his and pulled them away from a beet red, flustered face. "It's not. I mean it, and I'll say it again if you want".
"I just never thought this day would come... I feel like I'm dreaming"
"You're not", Mike assured him while he softly pecked both of Will's hands. "You're hands are still cold".
It had stopped raining, but it was still chilly. Mike had bothered to put on a hoodie before he left to search for Will. Will on the other hand, stood there in a damp shirt as if he went for a swim in a pool on a hot summer day. Mike pulled Will's hands further into his hoodie, letting the long sleeves cover both of their hands, keeping them warm in each other's bodyheat.
"It's too cold for you here... We should head back" Mike suggested and as soon as Will agreed, he released their hands to take off his hoodie.
"Mike, you don't have to-", "Here, put it on, it's fine".
"Are you sure?", Will asked with concern in which Mike nodded with a smile.
Byers put on the clearly too oversized hoodie. It was still warm though, which was a relief since smaller one felt a cold coming up.
"Ready?", Mike asked as he took his bike at the two handles. He waited for Will to get his bike and join him by his side. They walked a bit in a comfortable silence. Mike strangely felt good. Will didn't reject him, so did this mean he was forgiven?
"Eh, Mike?", a soft voice interrupted the silence. "Hm?", Mike's gaze moved to the other, who looked straight ahead of him. He was nervous, he could tell.
"What about Eleven?". Will said it in a concerned tone as if he couldn't tell the obvious answer to that, but there was also a sense of guilt in his voice. Mike wasn't sure if he was imagining that. "I'll break up with her", he said.
"No! You can't do that!", Will exclaimed. Mike frowned, what was this all of the sudden, he wondered. He's not going to mess around with two people. "Will, I want to be with you".
He watched Will's face redden again at his words, "But I don't want to be the person between you guys I-, I don't want to be... the one that stole you".
Mike stopped in his tracks and sighed, Will stopped too. He knew Will had a big heart. He was the most selfless person he knew. He and Eleven had such a strong friendship, so it was normal. He could've seen this issue coming, but it was not going to keep them from being together. Will had to learn that he deserved to be happy too. "Will you stole my heart way before Eleven. She'll have to understand".
"I know but-...", Will's face was filled with guilt and concern. He knew that as soon as Mike and El would break up, he was going to be one of the first people she would seek comfort too. And the guilt he then would experience since he'd be the reason that happened, would be too much. Not to mention the hate El would develop towards him and Mike, when she finds out they...
"Look Will, if you're too worried about El's feelings, which I understand, we can wait before telling the others about this. This can be our little secret," he said with a smirk in which Will rolled his eyes at. He quickly turned back to serious, "Well, just untill El gets over it. But I will break up with her as soon as possible. It's no fun for me to keep pretending and it will definitely be no fun for you, no matter how much you say that "you're fine". I hope you understand, okay?
Will slowly nodded, "that's okay.", although he still had that worried face on him. A face that Mike disliked. He released his hold on his bike and approched the other. He took one of his hands and pressed a light kiss on it. "So, wanna date me?", he asked.
"Uhm, yeah", Will said with a blush creeping up on his face. "You're so adorable", Mike said with a big smile. He bend down to peck Will's lips and pulled him in a hug. Will exhaled deep as he reciprocated the hug and underneath those long brownish strands of hair, Mike swore that he saw a glimpse of Will's smile.
He was happy at last.
Suddenly, it wasn't cold anymore. Mike looked up. Those big thick layers of grey had finally vanished. Now, only a thousand light pecks shone brightly upon the forest. Crickets making their usual sounds filled Mike's ears, and a light breeze tickled his face.
This felt nice.
-
AAAAhhhh finally after 29 chapters and about 2 years and a half of starting this fic lol
It finally happened and omg im happy i kept going cuz writing this was lots of funnn
also with the poster of st4 and BYLER im all fired up!
i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it! It is my longest chapter yet i think wow. I have to say that this story is coming close to and end, Im not sure how many chapters there will be but I think max 10 so its not that over soon.
Also this chapter is inspired by a scene between a gay couple from sex education on netflix, iykyk ;)) anddddd its also kinda inspired by sweater weather by the neighbourhood. Originally i was going to let the weather clear up for the confession buttt a lot of you wanted a rain kiss so i couldnt let yall down ahahaha and then sweather weather came up and it kinda matched the atmosphere of the chapter so yea
Anygays hope yall are doing good and ofcourse my thoughts are in Ukraine right now. The situation there is horrible and also very scary since I don't live that far from it.
Still I hope most people stay safe out there and keep hanging on.
love you, val <3