Ian followed the ambulance to the hospital, remembering the day he'd met Rowan McKellan. When he thought about her spouting off at him in that office the first day she'd met him, the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. She was a fighter. And right now, that's what he was counting on.
Thinking back, he remembered his initial summation of her. He'd decided she was nothing special. Her plain, mousy brown hair and hazel eyes, average curvaceous build and height about 5'6...there was just nothing spectacular or noteworthy about her. What had caught his attention that day was how strong willed she was. Confrontation was her weapon of choice, and she wielded it masterfully.
Humans naturally gave Ian a wide berth, putting space between themselves and him as they subconsciously recognized the dangerous aura that permeated the air around him, but from day one Rowan had not. Whenever he challenged her, she met him head on. She was a breath of fresh air, and he desperately needed some fresh air- a lot of it actually.
At that thought, he lost himself in the nostalgia of their first case together, finding Sophie Mercer. Rowan had blatantly disobeyed him, left the station with his team, and found Sophie. She handed him his collective ass within an hour of meeting him. While it had royally pissed him off then, he could laugh at it now because he knew her and respected her abilities.
When he'd gotten the call from dispatch on that first day together saying that Rowan had found the missing woman he'd been furious she'd disobeyed his order to stay put. In just over an hour after he'd left her in the office she was on the news, and he was pissed because he'd missed watching her figure the whole thing out. Truth be told, he didn't think she would figure it out, not for one minute, because he hadn't sensed anything special about her.
Not once in the last six months had he ever believed she was the one they'd been looking for over the last ten years. She was registering absolutely null and void of any and all lore characteristics. There were simply no signs to suggest otherwise.
He'd arrived on the scene that night just in time to watch the paramedics load Sophie into the ambulance...accompanied by Rowan who refused to leave her side until Mrs. Mercer met them at the hospital.
His mind was pulled back to the present when the blaring sirens ceased. He didn't remember the drive to the hospital, his mind had been traveling down memory lane... reliving his first experience with Rowan. But now, Rowan's ambulance was stopped in front of the emergency hospital entrance. Ian pulled right in behind them, not even considering the parking garage because he didn't give a shit if they towed it. He walked directly into the hospital and headed to the waiting room, knowing they wouldn't let him see her until she was stabilized.
He hated waiting, it was a waste of time but, he found a seat because he wasn't leaving until he saw her with his own eyes. Thinking about all of their time together was all he had to calm himself down and keep him from storming back to the ER and demanding a play by play on her condition.
Ian vividly remembered the conversation with Rowan after she'd found Sophie Mercer. He'd been sarcastic when he'd confronted Rowan, "Aw hell, even a broken clock is right twice a day." He hadn't just been sarcastic. He'd been a dick. But he'd truly been shocked by the turn of events, and he knew right then that he'd been too quick to discount her abilities.
Her retort was classic Rowan, "Sarcasm is the idiot's attempt at being witty Detective Robinson." The corners of her mouth turned up just barely anticipating what she was going to say next.
His eyes had hardened and his lips pressed together in a firm line. She'd usurped him once again, and for the first time ever he'd been rendered speechless.
"It's my job to collaborate with you, not explain everything to you." She'd used his own words against him, "...and, I have more pressing issues than holding your hand today Detective Robinson." Rowan had loved the opportunity to throw his words back in his face. Also classic Rowan behavior- he knew that now. Which while royally pissing him off then, just made him laugh now.
Rowan gave as good as she got. Another lesson he was afraid she'd learned way to early on in life. Stand up for yourself, or everyone will be in line to run you over.
Rowan's 'fuck you very much' glare as she'd climbed into the ambulance with Sophie that night would forever be etched in his mind. He recognized the look, he'd dished it out a few times himself. Rowan didn't seek out confrontation, but she was always ready and willing to go toe to toe with whomever challenged her.
For a woman who'd grown up alone, with no family, and as far as he could tell no friends, she was quite confident and comfortable in her own skin around people. Over the last few months he'd watched her closely, and he'd marveled at all the little idiosyncrasies that made Rowan, Rowan.
It wasn't just that she'd proven him wrong, which didn't happen too often, she'd thrown it in his face. Only problem was, the more he learned about her the more connected and drawn to her he felt. Apparently, he had a predilection for women who could put him in his place. Just thinking about her quick fire temper made him smile.
And that's when it him like a slap in the face. He needed her around. He'd been with other women, all lore, but none of them held the intrigue or mystery she did. Thinking about the extensive possibilities that could exist for them was like receiving an injection of pure adrenaline.
Possibilities? That brought him back to the present. He checked in at the front desk, but they wouldn't let anyone back to see her yet and there was no way in hell's half acre he was leaving without her. He sat back down in the uncomfortable vinyl covered chair, closed his eyes, and drifted back into his silent reverie- reminiscing on his time with her.
He'd gotten to know her very well, after he'd apologized, repeatedly, of course. He laughed at that now, too. She wasn't a forgiving person, and he'd found that out the hard way. It took a long time for her to stop purposefully avoiding him. He remembered how cool she'd been towards him. Hell, after that night she'd done away with the formal greetings. She wouldn't even look at him when they met, but when she did look at him- when she spoke to him- she looked through him, not at him. It was as though he wasn't even there, or that he didn't matter to her, and that hadn't set well with him.
Being kind to her hadn't been enough either. The bridge had been burned down, and she didn't trust him. He'd tried bringing in her favorite coffee for days only to find it sitting on some random officer's desk. It was her passive aggressive way of continuing to bust his balls. Clearly, tangible gifts wouldn't work either. Neither her allegiance, nor her respect could be bought. He respected her for that because it said a lot about a person's character.
It wasn't until he'd set up her defensive training and spent his time teaching her to shoot a gun that she started to come around. He knew then what she wanted. She didn't care about being liked, or making friends. What she did demand was respect.
The truth was looking at Rowan from the outside, she came off as an independent tough girl, but after getting to know her, Ian knew she wanted to belong to something.
Rowan had shared her history with him, growing up in foster homes, never knowing her parents or finding a family. So her tough exterior was a defense mechanism she used to shield herself, to keep people out. Rowan had become an expert on separating herself from a group she didn't feel she belonged to, or distancing herself from a group she felt she wasn't accepted by.
Of course, all of these were marks in the 'she's the missing twin column' he'd been mentally tallying for months. He wanted to believe in this so much that he was beginning to wonder if he was seeing things or making connections that weren't actually there. He desperately wanted her to be the girl he'd been looking for, which made him question himself even more. What was she doing to him?
Ian remembered the first time Rowan lead them to a person who was found dead at the scene. It had been a heinous crime, and she'd vomited behind a police car while he'd held her hair away from her face.
It was the first time she'd been fallible, which he found endearing for some reason. She'd never shown a weakness before that. She hadn't been prepared for that, and after so many successes, finding someone dead had never crossed Ian's mind, but it should have. He was used to working with trained officers, not gifted civilians and there was a difference. He had always felt a little guilty about that, but he'd never said anything to her about the way he felt only that she needed to toughen up.
"Detective Robinson?" A blonde nurse with tired eyes called out into the waiting room pulling him from his memories.
"Right here." He rose to his feet and jogged quickly across the waiting room.
The nurse couldn't take her eyes off him. "You can go back now detective. She's in the ICU, room four." She pointed him down the hall. "Can I show you the way?"
"No thanks. I got it." He damn near ran down the hall, but stopped when he reached the isolation doors. He closed his eyes and released a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding as he pushed the door open. "Please..." he whispered softly to himself before entering Rowan's room silently hoping that he would be able to see or sense something that wasn't there before. He'd take any kind of sign that suggested her body was changing.
He slowly pushed the curtain back and there was his Rowan, still unconscious with beeping and buzzing monitors surrounding her. "Well, hell, I know you hate this."
It was him. Her heart literally took flight at the sound of his voice, elated that he'd found her.
"Well, shit...." He half expected her to sit up and argue with him, she wasn't the kind of girl who took things lying down but when she didn't move, he just kept talking to her, "...and that beeping's gonna drive us both fuckin' nuts." He pulled a chair up next to her bed, whipped out his phone, and turned on Airborne Toxic Event for her knowing they were one of her favorite bands.
He'd uploaded some of her favorite music into his phone months ago because he liked them, too, and after working with her he'd found that, like her, the right kind of music helped him think through things.
After listening to the entire All At Once album, his impatience got the better of him, "Rowan, wake up. I need you to wake up for me, right now." Grabbing her hand he continued to talk to her reassuringly, "I'm waitin' here for you, and you know how much I loooove to wait." Hoping for one of her clever retorts about sarcasm being the idiot's attempt at being witty he stared at her. It never came. His heart sank. Funny how he looked forward to their heated discussions now.
His mind focused on her, but unlike before he couldn't get in. Her mind was in lock down, or it was protecting itself? Why? And how would a human know how to shield her mind from him?
He wished he could just understand what she was. Staring at her chest rhythmically rising and falling under the thin, pristinely white, hospital blanket he skimmed her palm with the tip of his finger tracing the lines there. She was the only thing in this godforsaken realm called Earth that he would sit around and wait for.
"Visiting hours are over detective." A new nurse stood like Stalin in the doorway, staring him down.
She wasn't used to dealing with people like him. Nobody was. "Try throwin' me outta here lady." Never even lifting his chin from Rowan's hand stunning, hooded, blue eyes gazed into the nurse's daring her to step forward. He lowered his forehead to rest against her cool forearm. Listening as the nurse closed the curtain behind her he sensed there would be no more trouble from the staff tonight- he had that effect on people.
He continued speaking to Rowan, "You believe that Ro? You better wake your ass up girl...because odds are I'm gonna get thrown outta here. Besides, hospital food is even worse than yours, if that's possible." He chuckled under his breath. With that thought a memory surfaced from a night when he'd had dinner with his team at his rental home outside the city. He laughed when he thought about what a terrible cook Rowan was, "Come on, whatta ya say love?"
'Love'? Just like with the paramedics Rowan could hear him, but his intonation sounded strange. Typically he was a serious guy, but tonight he was trying to use humor to mask his emotions...only, he wasn't very good at it.
He was worried tonight- about her? She enjoyed listening to him ramble on and while a part of her wanted to sit here with him like this...even if she couldn't reciprocate... she was actually feeling better.
Images came at her in spurts, confusing her. It was like watching someone else's dream, but there were holes in what she saw, and somehow she knew the holes were something for her to solve. She focused harder on the images.
Suddenly his warm powerful hands wrapped affectionately around hers pulling her focus from the unknown images and instead making her think of him. Maybe she should drag out her stay. It was kind of nice being here with him. This was a side of him she'd never seen before. He never worried about anything as far as she could tell. He just swooped in and solved the damn problem and then went on his merry way to the next one. She loved that about him actually. That's why they'd worked so well together once he'd gotten on board. He focused on the problem at hand and she agonized over the details enough for the both of them. She was the worrier. Squeezing his hand as hard as possible, trying to let him know she could hear him, she knew she'd be awake soon.
The sensation of her hand moving in his was so slight that he almost doubted having felt it, "That a girl baby...come on honey. I know you can hear me." He leaned into her, pushing her hair away from her face. Rowan was by far the palest human he'd ever seen, but ironically her color was better than he'd ever seen it.
Watching her lying there, he couldn't find the words to explain the way her skin called to him but he wanted to feel every inch of her beneath his lips. When she didn't wake up he let that urge get the best of him thinking that maybe she would remember him kissing her, or maybe she wouldn't but either way he'd have something to remember her by. He inched closer, her scent so familiar to him now. The pear and citrus scents of her perfume mingled with her sweat and her fabric softener. For some reason she loved her fresh and clean scented laundry.
Moving in closer he licked his lips, as his eyes roved over her trying to decide where he should lay his lips. Her lips were off limits, he wouldn't kiss her without her reciprocation, or at least conscious awareness.
A bead of perspiration collected, fell from her forehead, and trailed down her right temple. She was working hard to wake up. It wouldn't be long now. Without thinking he leaned over her, his chest lightly grazing hers. He'd thought about this moment a hundred times but never imagined it happening like this. Leaning further still, his warm lips found the damp, flushed skin at her temple. He kissed her with a need in his heart unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.
The feel of his fingertips brushing delicately over her cheek and his lips lightly pressed against her temple sent chills running up and down her spine. They were so much softer than she'd imagined them being, and the warmth of him ignited a flame within her. His anxiety was palpable, and that's when she realized that he wasn't the hard ass he'd led others to believe either- another commonality they shared.
Ian didn't appear to care about much outside of his job, but he certainly cared about her. He'd never taken such liberties with her before, but she was glad he had tonight.
Her skin was flushed and damp. He tasted the salt of her on his lips. God, he wanted more of her, but instead he pulled back watching for any sign that his kiss had stirred her from her sleep.
She'd wondered for quite some time how it would feel to kiss a private, complicated man like Ian Robinson. He was a powerful and dangerous man with a very large ego. Of course, men like Ian had never been interested in her, not in that way. It didn't matter how many times she told herself she didn't care about superficial bull shit like that. The truth was she wanted someone like him to take an interest in her. He was a tall, lean, statuesque, enigma of a man, and she just wanted an opportunity to figure him out. She felt a connection to him, and it pulled her from her sleep. "They're soft Ian."
His head snapped up at the sound of her voice, "What's soft Rowan?". His body pressed against the side of her bed trying to get as close as he could. He gazed upon her innocent face and wondered why he'd never noticed just how beautifully alarming her features were up close.
Her eyes fluttered open, "Your lips. They're soft. Always wondered about that." 'Holy shit! That was direct! She'd never said anything like this to anyone before, let alone him. He smiled at her and sighed out of relief, and as if on cue, her headache was gone. In fact, she felt better than she had in months- completely rejuvenated. She wondered what the hell they'd been pumping into her, and where could she get some more?
It suddenly occurred to her that maybe the headaches were meant to be a warning to her-another avenue for her premonitions? She had an overwhelming feeling that the images she'd seen while she was sleeping were telling her that something big was coming.
The room closed in around her. She needed to leave the hospital. She had to get out of here. There was something more important for her to do. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was. But, for the first time, whatever this premonition was about, it involved her personally.
Pressing himself to her he kissed her lips long enough to have something to remember her by...to know how she felt even though he knew this one experience would never be enough. Her lips were soft, full, and inexperienced. She was a statue beneath him probably from the shock, but he could tell she'd never kissed anyone before and that only made him want her more.
Rowan was surprised at his show of affection, but even more astonishing was her inability to reciprocate. The connection was electric, but she couldn't move. She had always kept her feelings about him to herself- safe and reserved...protected from being harmed. She wanted to let him know what he was missing, and to give him something to think about when this bat shit crazy night was over.
But, the kiss ended too swiftly, and when she opened her eyes she wasn't sure what he was thinking. Probably just relief that she'd woken up?
When he felt her tense beneath him he lifted his lips from hers in surprise, "There you are. How ya feelin' Ro?" He was relieved to see her awake...but he couldn't shake the fact that she hadn't kissed him back. He couldn't push the rejection vibe that was creeping into his mind out of his thoughts?
And there it was...just like that she was 'Ro' again. Just his colleague- nothing more. She released him immediately, trying not to look too sullen at his disinterest in her. Clearly, he'd never imagined the things she had. Poker face time, "Actually, I feel ....remarkable." She reached across her body using her shoulder to push him farther away. Pulling at her wires, detaching them from her arms and wrists she set the room into Defcon 5 with incessantly loud, beeping alarms alerting the staff to her actions.
He watched her with amusement, because he knew exactly what she was doing. He readied himself for the battle just on the horizon. He couldn't keep from smiling knowing she was just fine.
Rowan stood up from the bed as the nurse entered to analyze the chaos unfolding in her ICU, "You have to lay back down. Please, get back into bed Ms. McKellan."
"Nope. I'm going home now. I've had a terrible night and this is me putting an end to it, right now." She proceeded to look around the room for her things. "Ian? Did I have anything with me when they brought me in?"
Ian watched her in astonishment while shaking his head 'No' in answer to her question completely disbelieving what he was seeing. Something was very wrong here. She looked great, she was oriented, and she was asking questions. Did he dare allow himself to believe this was the first sign of her transition? He'd never seen a lore under a dampening spell, so he had no idea what to expect from someone fighting her way out of it- more life? Or more fire in her case? "Rowan, listen. You should just lay back down."
"Ian, I'm fine. Besides, I have somewhere to be. Now, you are either part of my solution or part of my problem. Which is it?" She stopped and stood a couple of feet in front of him staring him down in her white and blue hospital issued gown tied in the back. As she waited for his response she hoped her ass wasn't hanging out in the wind. She could hear the nurse rambling on and on over the phone with the doctor now.
He stood from his chair, "Solution. But, you are so damned stubborn." He was a little angry with her, but if she felt good enough to argue, she was on the mend.
Rowan laced her arm through his, "Great! You're taking me home then. I need to figure some things out. They're scattered in my head, but..." She proceeded to pull him out of the ICU room oblivious to all the onlookers staring as she passed.
"Rowan wait..what about your headaches?" He paused halting her forward progress toward the exit doors.
"Headaches? Yeah, um...well, something tells me those are premonitions meant to warn me about something. It's different than before, more intense, I can feel it, Ian." She wraggled her eyebrows at him teasingly and gave him her best smile. The way he was acting was cute and endearing, like he truly cared about protecting her. While she wanted to believe those thoughts, she didn't. She wasn't delusional. Handsome, gorgeous, self-assured men like Ian were never interested in 'plain Jane'.
"What's wrong with you? You're acting weird." He grabbed her hips and turned her toward him, looking into her eyes as he tried to read her. He wanted to check her pupils.
"Something's going on Ian. I saw images. No, fragments of images while I was out, and pieces are coming back to me. Something's coming, I can feel it. I just don't know quite yet where I'm supposed to be for it- or what it is." She pulled him down the hall, "Now, come on. Let's get the hell outta Dodge before the white coats descend on me."
"Alright..." He looked down at the floor shaking his head knowing he would either go with her now, or get left behind.
Rowan continued in her hospital gown, "I just need to get home where it's quiet, so I can think."
"Sir, the doctor will not allow her to be discharged..." The nurse on duty was frantic and flustered at the patient's one hundred and eighty degree turn around.
Ian looked to the nurse whose mouth was agape watching them walk out of the ICU. "Somehow, I don't think it's up to the doctor."
"Excuse me?" The nurse didn't even know how to begin to explain the risk she was taking leaving the hospital.
"Don't worry. I'll take full responsibility for her. Here..." He slid his card across the desk at the nurse's station "...if the doc has any questions tell him to call me."
"I'm sure you'll be hearing from him..." She picked up the phone and started dialing.
He turned to find Rowan heading down the hall, her backside, naked as a jay bird peeking out from beneath the gown with each step she took, and all he could do was grin. She always found a way to make him smile, even when she wasn't trying. She was unlike any person he'd ever met before so caught up in her own thoughts that she'd forgotten everything else around her. God, she was beautiful.
He'd seen her like this before- fidgety, disconnected and completely consumed by her own thoughts. It happened right before she broke a case. When she fixed her mind on something nothing stood in her way, until she figured it out.
And he knew from experience that trying to help her just got in the way. It was better to let her figure things out on her own. Nobody could help her now. Her mind just had to come to its own conclusion about things in its own good time. But, that was how his Rowan worked.
Wait a minute. When had he started referring to her as his?
He picked up his pace to catch her before she walked out of the hospital. She was an enigma, and watching her work was always a surprisingly refreshing treat. Most people were fairly easy to read. Time and experience had assured him that he could read her mind if he wanted to, except when she got to this place of focus. It was like her brain went off the grid...AWOL...making it impossible to determine just how she was able to manage this...ability.
After six months he still hadn't been able to figure out just how she did it. This was his favorite part about working with her, observing as she put the pieces together. There was no rhyme or reason to what she did, no patterns or lore signs that he could readily identify, and he'd tried so many times in so many different ways.
Rowan was a puzzle and a challenging one at that. But so far, the mystery of her only made her more beguiling to him. So, as in their previous cases, he would observe, wait, and try to glean a clearer picture of who Rowan McKellan really was because she certainly wasn't like any other female he'd met.