[In case you missed it, there's been a double update today! Make sure to read it before reading this.]
❝Morality is simply the attitude, we adopt towards people we dislike.❞
— Oscar Wilde
"Can you shut up? I can choose an outfit for myself," I finally snap at her.
Jude turns to face me, pouts and then shakes her head. "No. Nope. Not a chance. I already told you - I'll choose you an outfit and you choose mine. No arguments."
"And I already said no!" I protest as she assesses my tops. I'll admit that she had a good eye but I didn't need her to choose something for me to wear. I have enough sense to know what to wear.
"And I already said no arguments. Seriously, though, Harley, you seem like a loner. I'm giving you a little bit of help. You don't want to get through this year all alone. Trust me."
I roll my eyes. "I don't remember asking for your help. And what if I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to interact with people? What if I just want to be left all alone?"
"You're not the kind of person who wants to be left alone. I know that."
"How?"
"Gut feeling." She shrugs. "And before you say it - my gut feelings are usually right."
I don't reply to that. I don't know whether she's correct or not, honestly but I know there's no point in arguing with her now. "If I do this, will you shut up?"
"For some time, yes." Sighing, I walk towards her wardrobe and my eyes skim over the options. Behind me, I hear her chuckle but I don't say anything.
I chose a black oversized top with a vintage print on it along with a pair of light blue worn out shorts for her. She liked them, or maybe she pretended to like them. I couldn't tell whether the smile on her face was genuine or not. I picked the outfit she chose for me and went to the common bathroom for a change.
There are many girls here, getting dressed for the welcome party. I get a stall and quickly slip into my outfit. I stare at myself in the mirror, observing the fit. It is a cropped shirt with black and peach vertical stripes and a black skinny jeans. It is something simple and yet formal and elegant. I knew she had a good eye.
When I reach back to my room, Jude is already in her outfit. She looks pretty cool in the t-shirt; almost everything in her wardrobe is like this. She looks up at me. Smiles. "It's like six thirty," she tells me, "You wanna go now?"
"So I have to go with you now? Do you remember your promise of keeping your mouth shut when you're around me?"
She pretends to be clueless. "What promise?" she asks me and I want to throw paint on her. She notices my expression, obviously, but just shrugs. "Okay, sorry. Maybe I lied. I can't just stop talking, you know?"
"Fine," I finally sigh because I just can't bear to argue with her anymore at this point. "Come on."
I start to walk down the stairs and she clumsily tries to catch up with me. When she finally does, I hear her sigh in relief. "You're really fast, you know that?"
I scoff but don't say anything.
She looks away from me. We're now out of the dorm buildings. The temperature out here is moderate since it's the beginning of March. There are other people out here, walking towards the main building while some were messing around and picking playful fights.
I didn't spot Asher or Summer around here.
"So, what was the deal with Asher earlier?"
"Huh?" I didn't expect this question from her. "What do you mean?"
"Asher. The student council president, the tennis-"
"Hey," I wave my hands to make her stop talking. "I asked what, not who. Can't you hear me?"
"I'm talking about how you were talking, dumbass," she points out. "He said 'see you at the party'. You're in some deep shit. Normally, people try and be on the good side of such people but you were out there showing attitude to him-"
"What did I even say to him?" I cut her off and she looks at me, nodding.
"I mean, you do have a point."
"I know I do. Let's just not talk about this."
She shrugs. She doesn't say anything for a while. We walk towards the main building, blending in with the other students. Some of them are wearing more flashy clothes that tell me that this is not just some casual party. It's big.
"I have a weird feeling about this," Jude suddenly says. I throw her a questioning look and she just rolls her eyes, knowing that I was demanding an explanation from her. "Gut feeling, Harley. Gut feeling."
"So you're going back?" I couldn't be more happy if she did go back.
She shakes her head. "Nope. I'm not. Unlike you, I actually want to get noticed by the seniors without the help of my academic abilities."
It would be way better if she didn't do that. I'm pretty sure I know the seniors more than any of the first years around me right now. The diary did come in handy at times like this.
"By the way, you rock that outfit. I wonder who chose it?"
"You're annoying, Jude."
"It's Jade, you idiot," she snaps, her tone laced with annoyance. She clicks her tongue, running a hand through her red hair. "Nevermind. You know what? Call me whatever you want. At least you're talking to me."
"You're not giving me a choice," I deadpan. "That's why I'm talking to you."
"So you wouldn't if I didn't initiate a small talk?"
I shrug. "Like you said, I'm not one for small talk."
With this, the two of us enter the hall that's a part of the main building. First step in here and my first impression is that it's big. There's a huge banner in the front with 'Welcome to Redville, first years' written in red bold letters. One side of the wall is covered with food and beverages. The other has a row of chairs for people to sit on.
There are only two faculty members around here, I notice.
In a party of this scale in the school grounds, why's there no proper school staff? They sure had more than this after the orientation.
Maybe this was because it's a complete student party. It still didn't clear my doubts, though. I shrug and Jude drags me to the front where there was comparatively less crowd. She stops in front of the banner. Her face has dropped a little. I don't ask her what's up with her suddenly because I already know it. It's on her face.
"For a person eager to come to a party to catch the attention of seniors, I didn't expect you to not like crowds."
She looks up at me, a surprised expression on her face. "How'd you know that?"
I scoff, leaning back. "Please, have you seen your face? You look like you just swallowed a shoe."
"'Swallowed a shoe'. Way to word it, Harley," she says, a small smile tugging up on her lips. Her eyes tell me that she's tired of my bullshit which is exactly what I wanted to do. She's clingy. Clingy people ruin plans. I didn't need another one of them.
I start to look around the room, my eyes scanning the corners of his room and my mind instinctively judging people on its own. I've tried not to judge people before but I can't help it sometimes, especially when I've got nothing to do. Sometime later, when I've zoned back in, I see that Jude isn't there with me. She's talking to another girl. I saw her during lunch once but I've no idea who she is.
Just then, my eyes go back to the banner on the wall. I look at the words over and over again.
WELCOME TO REDVILLE!
HOPE YOU ENJOY THE NEXT THREE YEARS
WITH US!
My eyes go down, at the very bottom of the banner. It almost touched the floor, making it difficult for other students to notice it but I did since I'm standing right in front of it.
...if you survive lol... try not to get expelled... better watch out besties... don't mess with the wrong people...
I understand what it is the moment I read the whole thing. Our seniors wrote this. Maybe as a joke, or maybe as a warning. The expulsion rate of this school is low but so is the acceptance rate. If someone is expelled from the school, their spot is given to someone else immediately by reexamination of ten potential candidates. The one who scores the most gets the spot. It's rare, but it still happens.
I sigh, taking out my phone. My instagram has follow requests from multiple people in my class, whose names I've memorised from the group chat a classmate created. People would go to such lengths to get to know others, I realise. I wonder how many of them would actually get to know me. My phone starts to ring just as I'm about to accept them.
I read the caller ID and immediately sigh in annoyance. I know I can't keep it hanging, though, because he'll just keep calling me over and over until I finally respond to him. I walk out of the room, inside the school where it's supposed to be comparatively quieter. It's relatively dark here since there aren't any working lights. The only thing that's telling me where I'm going is the fading natural light that will be out in some time.
I walk over to the half of the corridor and accept the call.
"Harley," I hear his soft voice say.
"Do you need something?" I ask him quietly.
"Can't I just call you randomly for a small talk?"
"No. You can't. I thought I made that clear before I left."
"Harley, what's wrong with you? Why don't you just listen? I'm worried about you, Lee." There's an edge to his voice.
"I didn't ask you to worry about me, Zack. If I need something, I'll call you. Thank you."
"Hey, wait a second. Don't you want to tell me how the school is?" The desperation he was trying to hide gave away in his voice. "Just tell me anything. Talk to me."
"We don't need to talk. There's nothing to talk about. Sorry to disappoint you but there's nothing to talk about." I'm very close to just snapping at him but I try my best to remain as calm as I can at a moment like this.
"We still have to go over what happened last-"
I cut him off then and there. "So which one of them is it? My mom or my dad?"
"Harley-"
"I have no interest in talking to you right now, Zack. I'm done. Okay? I'll block you if you call me again. I don't need therapy. Especially not from you."
He's about to say something but I cut the call, keeping my phone in the pocket of my jeans. I sigh again, feeling worn out even though there was nothing special in the conversation. Things like these, if they interfere with my plan, I'll fail. And if I fail, I get mad.
"Asher, I'll fucking kill you."
I hear an unfamiliar voice from a classroom that's near the door to the main hall where the party's going on. "Shut up, Lily."
"You promised, though," the other girl, Lily, whines. Her voice starts to give me a headache almost immediately. The door of the room starts to open. Without giving it much thought, I walk towards the other end of the hallway and stand behind the wall. The last thing I want right now is for him to think I'm listening to their conversation.
"Okay, fine. I'll give you some," I hear Asher say.
"When?" Lily asks impatiently.
"Hey, calm down."
"I want it now, Asher."
"Fine. Come on. Our place." I look at the place where they are. They start to head towards the other end of the corridor. They take a turn and I'm debating whether going after them is a good idea or not. If I get caught, it's done for me. I'll be targeted by the third years throughout the year. But, there's a ten percent chance that I'll discover something that'll help me in the future.
"Fuck it," I mutter under my breath and quietly start to walk towards the other end. If I fail, it will be very bad but I'll be the one responsible for it. If I don't, it may benefit me in ways that I'm yet to foresee.
Walking towards the direction they went, I reached the end of the hallway. I look out carefully and find them still there, lingering as Lily plays around and Asher just waits for her to catch up with his hands in his pockets. He's wearing a white shirt with the few buttons on the top open along with a pair of simple black jeans. If I didn't know about his shitty personality, I'd find him hot.
"Hey!" Asher says, clearly annoyed. "Come here. I've to go see someone."
"Aww," Lily teases, stepping closer to him. "Did Asher get a new girlfriend?"
"Shut up, Lily. No, I didn't get a girlfriend. Are you gonna come now or not? I'm not giving you anything here."
I hear her whine again. God, I don't know how Asher handles this girl. Just when they're about to go, my phone falls on the ground from my pocket. I swear under my breath. I quickly pick it up and take a peep towards their direction again but they've stopped. They start to turn around. I know I should head back but I don't. I don't want to. I want to confirm the idea on my mind.
"Did you hear something?" Asher asks her, raising his eyebrow. Lily nods. I curse under my breath because I'm frozen on the spot.
Why can't I fucking move?
I realise it's probably because I'm nervous. No matter how smart I may be, this is the first time I'm doing something like this. I don't want to get caught. Not yet. I don't want any more of his attention at the moment. Maybe someday, I will. But not now. I don't want to-
Don't you see it, Harley? You're useless.
"I..." I whisper, unable to comprehend the words in my mind. Of course. I'm Harley Kingsley. I'll figure something out even if I get caught. "I will," I repeat to myself again and bite my tongue a little and I'm about to move when a hand wraps around my wrist out of nowhere.
I'm caught off guard with this and am about to shriek when the person pulls me towards them. They wrap a hand around my mouth and my heart is hammering against my chest. The person leans in towards my ear, so close, I can feel their breath fanning across my cheek.
"Don't scream."
Author's Note
Hi! What are your thoughts on the book and the characters so far? Thanks for reading <3
— evy