LOKI'S POINT OF VIEW
Snap.
Iron Man's fingers came together with a mighty force unknown to any common man. From his fingertips, power radiated throughout the universe. One by one, the Titan and his army disappeared into dust. Like a snowfall, their remains scattered upon the ground. And at that same instance, the God of Mischief's heart broke into two.
Sigyn, my bride, and Goddess lay dead in my arms in a cruel twist of fate. Her neck was crushed and her vocal cords could barely utter her final words. "I love you," had just barely escaped her lips. The purple bruises that emulated from her throat looked all too familiar to the ones Loki had suffered all those years ago. The whites of her eyes had turned red under the strain of holding onto life. The state of her fragile frame reminded me of the scene I had watched back in the TVA, a variant of myself dead and cold just as she was now.
Looking back, I now wonder if this was all a sick kind of retribution by fate. I had escaped death in this timeline by pulling myself from another. I had defeated death by refusing to face it myself. And now, here I was staring it right in the eyes as Sigyn laid in my arms. Had her death been the payment for my life? The choking, the bruises, the desperation, was all too familiar to the death I was meant to have.
But at the time, I could hardly fathom all of that. As I clutched her close, it felt as though a part of me died alongside her. Suddenly, there was an emptiness within me. I felt like there was a starving black hole at the center of my being, longing to be filled and contained. And yet, with Sigyn dead and gone, there was no way for this desire to be fulfilled. My love, my soulmate, had moved on to death without me. I was left behind with no partner and no remedy to the loneliness I had faced for eons.
"Please," I begged quietly, hardly noticing the tears streaming down my cheeks, "Please, don't leave me."
I held Sigyn close, gripping her tighter than I had ever held anything before. I could focus on nothing else but her.
"Brother," Thor said quietly as he kneeled beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"We can bring her back," I insisted, brushing the hair from Sigyn's pale face, "With a stone, we can bring her back."
Just then a gust of wind pushed by as Hela appeared before us.
"Papa..you know we can't..." she said quietly, sitting before me. Her voice was shaky and her own pink cheeks were stained with tears. I could hardly imagine how difficult this had been for her, if the pain I felt was so astronomical.
"Dear," I begged, taking Hela's hand in mine, "We have to try, you have to try, I can't do this without her..I-"
"I can't bring her back," Hela said firmly, "I don't know what she would become, papa. I'm sorry, but I can't."
"You know Sigyn wouldn't want that," Thor said softly as he attempted to remain stoic and detached, only letting a few silent tears fall.
"I know," I admitted as I looked down at my bride. I hated that Thor was right. Sigyn was not one to interfere with the natural. She was by the book and was a servant to the forces of fate. Sigyn wouldn't have wanted to put anyone in jeopardy, even if it meant saving her own life. Sigyn would have wanted to stay dead.
"She's gonna be okay, you know," Hela said softly, each word strained by her heavy crying, "Heroes like her make it to Valhalla..."
I nodded, straining a small smile before I pulled my daughter close. I wrapped an arm around her, letting her head rest on my shoulder as grieved her mother. Hela's small body shook under my touch as she clung to me, her hands tightly gripped my arm as if she was desperately afraid of losing me too.
"We can't leave her here," I said softly as I turned to look at Thor, "She deserves to be buried and to be honored as the Goddess she is...or was."
"I know, brother," Thor assured me, squeezing my shoulder, "I know..."
"What's going on," Valkyrie asked as she touched down before us, quickly dismounting from her pegasus. As her feet touched the ground and her eyes met my arms, her face fell instantly.
"Oh god," she said, stumbling back and holding onto her steed for balance, "Is she dead?"
Hela nodded, her breath hitching before she broke into a full sob. My daughter clutched me tightly and I held her as close as I possibly could. Hela was now the only true family I had left in this world. She was my daughter, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. With Sigyn gone, I knew that I was now her sole protector. I had to ensure that she would grow up with grace and dignity, just as Sigyn had wanted. I was now just a father, and I had to act like it immediately.
"It's gonna be alright," I said quietly, trying my best to be brave for my little girl, "It's going to be okay."
I had to convince myself that as well, especially in the week that followed. Us lot of Asgardians returned to Norway, with Sigyn's body in tow. I knew would've wanted to be buried there, Sigyn seemed to have loved that little town. It was just a shame that she couldn't have the send-off to Valhalla as she had deserved, the boat...the arrows...the lanterns. She deserved it all, and yet her body was returning to no more than dust. It was as if she was no more than a woman, it felt unfair for a Goddess of her disposition. It felt unfair for a lady who had been my wife.
The day of her funeral had arrived in the blink of an eye, and before I had even realized it. The last few days had gone by in a blur, I didn't remember doing much else but crying or holding my daughter tight. I hardly knew if I had even slept. But despite it all, the day had come for Hela and I to say goodbye to Sigyn.
"Are you ready?" I asked, gently knocking on her door. Hela unlocked the door and opened it wide. She smoothed out her black dress and nodded.
"Guess so," she said softly, looking me up and down, "You look nice."
"Thank you," I replied, "As do you."
The two of us were dressed head to toe in black, not an ounce of color in sight. It wasn't only Asgardian tradition to dress so glumly, but it also felt so right.
"Momma's whole family's gonna be grieving too," she stated softly, as she hooked my arm into mine, "They're gonna blame you, you know."
I sighed, looking out the window at the party outside. The whole lot of Iwaldottirs were gathered and adorned completely in black, waiting to escort me and Hela to the funeral grounds. Sigyn had been the only one out of the entire lot of sisters to bear a child thus far, and so they all still clung to each other just as they had as children. The death of a sister left them with a missing piece to the puzzle, they were just as incomplete as I was.
"I know," I said with a small nod as I tucked a jacket around Hela's shoulders. I knew they would blame me for all of this, I just felt it in my bones. And maybe I was to blame. Maybe this cruel fate wouldn't have fallen onto Sigyn if not for me.
I walked outside with Hela close beside me. I was half expecting them all to glare, to scream at me even. But rather, they all turned to look at me with eyes full of tears. They met my daughter and me at the bottom of the steps. Instantly a few of them swooped Hela into their arms as if she was their child, and quiet sobs began to commence. And out of the crowd, the now oldest sister's eyes met mine. Hertha.
"It's been hard, hasn't it?" she said softly as she took a step towards me.
"Harder than I could have ever imagined," I replied earnestly.
Hertha nodded, her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes told me that she felt the same way. I hardly understood the relationship between us. But, from the tapes and stories, I gathered that there was a mutual loathing between the two of us. And for good reason too. Hertha had every right to hate me, I had come to understand.
"I miss her a lot," Hertha said with a sigh, "But...she would be scolding me for even saying so. We both know Sigyn wouldn't want us wallowing about in pity for her. And she certainly wouldn't want me to tell you that this is your fault."
Here it comes, I thought to myself, bracing for the blow of yelling and scolding that would undoubtedly unfurl from Hertha's mouth.
"So I won't," she said softly, "I will never understand why or how, but Sigyn loved you. She loved you until the end of time. I didn't like it, and frankly, I still don't. But at the very least, I have to honor that love now that she's...and ya know, for Hela too."
"Thank you," I said with a nod. In grief, Hertha had perhaps become more levelheaded and more understanding of me,
"Well, we should get going," she said, gently wiping her eyes, "Can't keep the rest of Asgard waiting, can we?"
Soon enough, we made it to the wake. Just as we came in sight of the crowd that had gathered in honor of Sigyn, everything fell silent. All eyes landed on Hela and I as we walked amongst the people. It seemed as though all of Asgard, old and new had gathered for this.
"There are so many people," Hela said quietly, holding to me as tight as ever as we made our way through the crowd, "I don't remember the last time there were this many people in one place."
"I know," I breathed, "And they're all here for-"
"For Sigyn," Valkyrie finished as she stepped out from amongst the crowd. She offered a small warm smile, before she cleared a small path for the two of us, "Right this way."
Following her lead, the crowd parted before us. As we stepped through, I spotted Thor. As we came upon him I noticed what my brother was standing before. A wave of dread washed over me as I stopped in my tracks. The grave was open in front of my brother, waiting to be filled with Sigyn's corpse.
"This is too much," I stated, gripping Hela's hand, "We should go home."
"Papa, please," Hela begged as she tugged at my sleeve, pulling me further towards the grave, "Please don't leave me too."
I took a deep breath and nodded. I couldn't leave her, I had to stay strong for her. Slowly, we walked to Thor's side. My heart leaped to my chest as I peered into the earth. I could hardly fathom the fact that this was to be Sigyn's final resting place.
"Are you ready?" Thor asked softly, his voice gruff and shaky. Grief had obviously stricken him too.
I nodded, hardly able to comprehend what would come next. With a small wave of Thor's hand, everyone began to assemble around the grave and us. Slowly, a few voices began to join in on a traditional hymn. Their voices carried strongly throughout the valley.
Soon, a path began to clear as a group of six men including Sigyn's father, walked through the crowd. Hoisted above their shoulders, they held a humble coffin. Their faces were all stoic and strong as if they were carrying pure gold within that god-forsaken box. Sigyn's father, Iwald, was the only one who broke the act. His ruddy cheeks were stained and his grey beard was wet with tears. I became nauseous as I fathomed his grief. Iwald had lost his eldest daughter, his first child. Sigyn had been his pride and joy. Looking down at Hela, I knew that the pain he felt must have been insurmountable. Daughters were not meant to die before their fathers, it was unnatural and cruel. Iwald was undoubtedly heartbroken.
Nevertheless, he carried her casket through the crowd with utmost duty. Iwald commanded them to place her down ever so gently, refusing to let his daughter meet her final resting place with anything but comfort.
I watched with horror as her coffin met the cold dark earth beneath us. I couldn't believe she was truly in there, truly dead and gone. I wanted this all to be some sick joke, for Sigyn to pop out and declare it all a joke. But Sigyn wasn't me. Sigyn was in fact, dead.
"She needs to move on," Hela interjected quietly, her eyes were focussed on some far-off space.
"What are you saying, dear?" I asked softly, rubbing her back as I followed her gaze.
"She doesn't wanna go," she explained softly, "I can hear her, just faintly...She's not talking to me but...I can hear her."
"And?" Hertha coached on, listening intently to her niece.
"I don't know," Hela said, shrinking into my arms, "We just...we need to bury her."
An uneasy sigh sounded amongst those who stood most closely to the grave. Those around were Sigyn's closest friends and family. None of us were ready to truly say goodbye. We didn't want to see the earth close around her casket.
"She just needs to rest," I said with a nod, being the first to pick up a shovel, "We have to let her."
A hum sounded as everyone picked up a shovel.
Looking down into the grave, I was met with a heavy heart.
"Goodbye, my love," I said before finally mustering up the courage to start filling up the grave, one shovel-full at a time.
Before long, I stood before no more than a patch of earth. Sigyn was now truly gone. I couldn't bring her back. I had to let her rest.
Long after the final bit of earth had been laid upon her grave, I stood with Hela, just healing. Soon, everyone left, leaving just father and daughter. It was silence, but it was good. And as the minutes passed, Hela's tears began to subdue. As did mine.
I kissed Hela's head and took a deep breath. Just then, the clouds in the sky began to part and the sun shined down on the two of us. A small smile came upon Hela's lips as she tilted her face up towards the sun, feeling the warmth on her skin.
"She's moved on," she said quietly, "To Valhalla."
I nodded and took Hela's hand, looking up to the sky. It was good to know she was no longer in pain, no longer wandering this earth. Sigyn was home. Sigyn was safe.
"Can we go home?" Hela asked softly, "I can make some tea for us, and maybe we can read a bit? It just sounds nice..."
"We can do anything you would like, bunny," I replied as I looked down at Hela, "This is the start of a new chapter, you know. It's all about you now."
She smiled as we began to walk back, "All about me? I quite like that..."
Loki and Hela, Mortem and Mischief Coming Soon