S O L
After my little mental breakdown at the library, Kit arrived and saw the scene we were in. Which was, hugging. Nate quickly explained the situation I was in, and Kit immediately agreed on taking me home.
Nathan insisted na samahan niya akong umuwi, para daw makuntento siyang makita akong umuwi na ligtas. Earlier, while hugging, e napansin naming may mga taong nakatingin sa amin. It was my fault naman, I couldn't control my sobs e. Kaya naman napansin ni Nathan ito at pinagsabihan ang mga tao to 'mind their own business.'
Back to the hatid part. We were on my way to my house, on Nate's car. Nathan, surprisingly had a car on the campus' parking lot nad he insisted in driving it to my home. Kaya naman ay naka-angkas qko sa kaniyang likod. It was a cold evening, kaya 'di kami pinagpapawisan. Who am I kidding, may aircon naman sa kotse niya.
"You okay there?"
"I'm fine, thank you." Reply ko.
I made myself comfy at the shotgun seat in his car. 'Di naman mabilis ang kaniyang pagmamaneho at dahan dahan lang.
"Wanna play?" I heard him.
"Chucky, is that you?" Biro ko.
"Haha. Very funny, Mendoza."
"Ano ba kasi lalaruin natin?"
"Wala, magtatanong tanong lang tayo sa isa't isa habang nagmamaneho ako "
Binagalan naman niya ang kaniyang pagmaneho kaya naman naging komportable akong tumingin sa aming paligid. We didn't take the highway kaya naman walang umaarangkadang mga sasakyan dito sa aming dinadaanan.
"Sure, just make sure to look at the road ah."
"Yes, baby." He mumbled.
"Ano?"
"Sabi ko, 'Yes, Sir.'" He explained.
I only nodded in response.
"You first." He reminded me.
I look at the window and saw the sky first, and saw the city lights from where we were. It was slowly turning dark, and the light posts were now turned on. Clouds quickly turning grey and stars were now visible. The sun was on it's sunset, as if it's saying goodnight and let the moon take its place.
"City or Province?" I questioned.
"Province."
"Bakit?"
"Hmm... Honestly, 'di ko alam province ko. But I remember that we went to Palawan once when I was a kid. I'd love to go back and witness the underground caves there." He slows down. "Gusto kong sumama mga kaibigan ko if ever pwede akong pumunta doon ulit. Swimming, Underground caving, hiking or bonding. You name it, I just want to be with my friends and maybe, with the love of my life."
"Unexpected."
"What do you mean 'unexpected'?"
"I never knew you'd be the type to go island hopping while your life here is full of luxury. I, myself still can't believe I'm riding and talking with you. A heartthrob enrolled to the 4th most expensive school in the Philippines. Did I also mention that you also live in a freaking mansion. Of course it's unexpected."
"Handsome guys like me deserves breaks too, you know?" I saw him smirking while looking at me.
"Don't be so full of yourself, Rodriguez."
"I'm handsome, and you know it."
Hinampas ko ang kaniyang balikat kaya naman napatawa ang tukmol.
"Ikaw? City or Province?"
"City naman ako."
"Why?"
"Cities kasi I love modernity. I feel safe within those concrete walls. I'd love to wake up in the morning and see the city by my condo's window, with a cup of coffee in my hand." I sighed.
"I see." He smiles at me, before looking back at the road.
"Your turn to ask."
"Hmm..."
After a minute of thinking, tumingin na siya sa akin at nagtanong.
"What's your sexuality?"
"Do I really have to answer that?" I roll my eyes.
"Yes."
"Fine. Well, I'm gay."
"Since when?"
"Since I had a crush on someone... Who happens to be the boyfriend of my bully back then..." I clutched my hands. He looked at me and saw a hint of shock and curiosity in his eyes.
"Would you mind if you can tell me about him? Hm?" He took my hands and caressed it for a sec before going back to the wheel. I saw him give me a warm smile, before going back to the road.
"No, u-uhm... He was my classmate when I was in highschool. W-we weren't close back then kaya naman I admired him from afar." I play with my fingers, as I took a look of Nathan nodding.
"H-he was my ultimate crush back then, Haha." I blushed. "Kaya naman I would make effort in buying him pandesal and watch h-him play during his basketball matches."
I gulped.
"When I thought that I-I had the c-chance to confess. I saw him m-making out with his g-girlfriend. Then from there, my l-life was hell."
"Go on."
"H-huh?"
"Please, continue."
I gulped once more.
"U-unfortunately, nung nakita ko silang naghahalikan sa may CR. I had a letter on my hand and some c-chocolates. Of course, I was heartbroken, so I ran away. Which made me drop the l-letter and chocolates. My name was written on the both of i-it..."
"Hmm..."
"She tracked me down with my name, knowing that a... gay like me had a crush on James, her boyfriend. T-then came the b-bullying." I clench my hands.
"From emotional, cyber, mental bullying. To pure humiliation. She was the reason of my depression, she was the reason I hated my own damn name, she was the reason... Why I tried to k-kill myself." It went off like a whisper. Feeling of relief and regret struck me. Regretting that I shouldn't have said that, and at the same time made me feel... free.
I looked at Nathan with teary eyes. He looked at me with pity in his eyes kaya naman he wiped my tears.
"I-I'm so sorry for asking." He said while his hands was on my cheeks. I quickly shake my head.
"No, okay lang. Actually, it made me feel much better than before. I really needed to say that to you, you're my friend after all. And, I think I can trust you more than I should." I grab his hand on my cheek, caressing it with a smile.
He wiped the last tear I felt on my cheek as he pull his hands away. Ngumiti lang siya sa akin and was stuck on his face for the whole ride. After minutes of comfortable silence, I spoke up.
"Ikaw naman."
"Oh right, well. I like someone."
"What does that have to do with the question?"
"May gusto ako sa lalaki.
"W-what??"
He chuckled. "Yeah."
"Wait, so that means you're gay?"
"Bisexual, rather."
"What do you mean?"
"May gusto ako sa isang lalaki. He's actually the one who made me question my sexuality, Haha."
I looked at him with wide eyes, he only shrugs his shoulder.
"But, what about the band?"
"I know. Balak ko talagang sabihin sa kanila, but I can't. Kinakabahan ako, actually."
"What do you mean, 'you can't'?
He looks at me before sighing. "I know you know that I'm our school's heartthrob, 'di ba?"
"No shit sherlock."
"Being a heartthrob and gay at the same time doesn't mix, lalo na kapag nasa school ka puno ng discrimination." He sighs and tightens his hold on the steering wheel.
"Gay and Bisexual are 2 different things, mister."
"Oh right..."
"But what about me? Alam naman nila na gay ako since I was a freshmen, 'di ba? What's the difference with our situations?"
"We're both on our 3rd year. It's weird when I suddenly came out after 3 whole year, am I right? Besides, you're a normal Elite in campus, while I'm someone famous."
"Oh..." That was the only thing I can say.
I look at him intensely. "Here, the least I can do to help you with your situation, is to help you coming out. Consider it as a repayment with you helping me with my trauma." I explained.
"Kahit 'wag na, Sol. I promised na I will help you, and didn't want anything back. You performing with me- I mean, with all of us, sapat na."
"Then, consider it as help from your friend." I smiled, kaya naman tumingin ito sa akin na may ngiti rin.
"Thank you." He said, napangiti nalang kami sa isa't isa.
It was already night and I saw na malapit na kami sa aking bahay. Nathan had Waze kaya naman I only had to punch in my address and we were on the way.
"You never mentioned his name. Your crush." I question.
"That I can't tell you." He smirks.
"Oh come on!"
"Waze says na we're here." He said as he parked his car beside our house.
"Naka mansion ka rin naman pala e."
"E 'di wow." I pout as I take off my seatbelt. "It was nice talking with you, Nate. Salamat talaga."
"I appreciate you too. Thank you rin."
Bumaba kami pareho at nagyakapan ng saglit, we smile before smiling at each other. I saw Mama at the balcony at nakangiti ito while her thumbs are up. I only blush and saw Nathan staring at me woth a smile. I took my key at binuksan na ang gate.
"I'll get going na. Thank you for the ride, Nathan. Ingat ka." I smiled like nothing happened earlier.
"Thank you rin for the company. Goodnight, Sol." I nodded.
"Goodnight rin po, Ms. Mendoza!" He waved at Mama at nag-wave lang rin si Mama pabalik.
"Ingat ka, iho!"
"Okay po. I'll get going na."
"Ingat ka." I said before he smiles and closes the door before driving off. I sigh as I saw his car lights fade away as he makes a turn away from our street. It's been a long day, I deserve a long good nap. But first, dinner.
"'Di mo naman sinabing may jowa kana, 'nak." Sabi ni Mama. I blushed and quickly coughed.
"Hinatid lang, boyfriend kaagad, 'ma?"
"E sows, kita naman 'yang kilig sa mga mata mo. Besides, kahit 'di mo jowa 'yon, halatang may gusto ka sa kaniya." She says as she prepared the table.
"What made you think so?" I took our apoon and forks after taking off my shoes and replacing them with my slippers.
Kinotongan ako ni Mama, "Ikaw talaga! I am your mother, for Pete's sake. Malamang, alam ko kung sino ang gusto mo at hindi. 'Mother knows best', ikaw nga nila."
I winced as I gently pat my head with an ow and mumbled a little sorry.
Umupo lang kaming dalawa ni Mama at kumain na ng aming dinner. Napansin kong wala pala si Papa.
"Where 'Pa?"
"May pinuntahan sa Wine Cellar. Malapit lang dito 'yon. Alam mo naman negosyo natin, sa wines tayo dumedepende."
"Hm..."
"Finish your food and head upstairs na. You've had a long day at may band practice ka pa tomorrow." She says, as I quickly finish my food. Natapos na namin ang aming pagkain kaya naman kinuha na ni Mama ang aking plato at inilagay sa lababo. I tried to help but she insisted that I should take a shower na.
"Goodnight po. I love you." I kissed her on the head while she was washing the dishes. She smiles and mumbled an, "I love you too." back at me.
I head upstairs to my room and quickly discarded my clothes when I was inside. I took a shower and it made me feel relaxed. Though it was a long day, I surely had fun talking with Nathan.
I wish we could do that again...
Kinuha ko ang aking phone and laid down on my bed. It was already getting late when I decided to message our Group Chat in Messenger.
~✨Saving Sol✨~
☀️: "What time tayo pupunta sa studio tomorrow?"
"It's Saturday tomorrow, relax lang." :🕷️
"Mga 3, para naman may time kayo
makapagayos before going." :🕷️
"Harvey's right, we should take it easy tomorrow. Also, have y'all heard?" :🌙
☀️: "What?"
"We're going to perform in Kingston's Halloween slumber party. One night, one song." :🌙
"Are y'all seriously talking about this in the middle of my beauty sleep?". :🌹
"Nobody asked, readhed." :🕷️
"I'll take that as a compliment." :🌹
I giggled a bit.
"Let's talk about this tomorrow nalang, at the studio." :🌙
"Uhh, guys?" :🏀
"What?" :🕷️
"What's this?" :🏀
Mack sent a picture at our GC, it was a screenshot. My eyes only widened as I saw what he took a screenshot of. It was a post from Jeremy's FB Page. It was another picture of me.
But this time, I was with Nathan. While we were hugging.
"Eclipse." I read the caption outloud.
I looked at it intensely and saw how Nathan's hand was wrapped around my face and my frail body at the same time. It also shows my tears stained cheeks when I was crying earlier due to my little mental breakdown.
I cover my mouth as I saw ang views neto at likes. The post was viral. Ang dami ring nag comment, saying that we both looked cute. Some say they're shocked, and some were confused.
My phone then suddenly rang and saw that it was Harvey asking for a facetime. I fixed myself, turned on my lamp before answering it.
"H-Hello?" I stuttered.
"You both have a lot of explaining to do."
~•~