Jana's POV
She left me, she just walked away like it was nothing. Like we were nothing.
I sit in her room, staring out the window for the rest of the day, praying she'll change her mind and come running back over the mountains to me. I shouldn't have let her go alone but I can't leave either, this is my home. I worked too hard to fit in here and start building something for myself to throw it all away now. It took Rhydian and my friends to show me the beauty of the world, my father and the pack were holding me back from everything I could be. I want a future here, but Carys was supposed to be part of that. Since I met her, she's become so intertwined with everything I imagined for myself. I want a life with her. She's the one thing that I'm certain of, and now she's gone.
Is it selfish to stay here out of fear that I won't be able to keep my independence? Is that still what I want if I don't have her at my side?
Growing up the way I did, with the father I have, I was taught how valuable it is to be able to take care of myself. But now I have someone else to look out for too. It's not that she's not capable of taking care of herself, but why should she have to do it alone?
After all of the tears and the drama of her running away, here I am, talking myself into following her. And now I don't know what to do.
The social worker comes back an hour later, just like she said she would. Emma and Daniel tell her that Carys ran away to stay at an old friend's house and that there's no use looking for her. They knew- we all knew that she would still look for her anyway. It's her job.
I stay sitting in my spot by the window, wondering if I made the right choice in staying behind and the answer is getting less and less clear. Rhydian and Maddy try to be kind and make me feel better, and I smile and tell them I'm okay, but nothing can mask this pain.
Eventually, I drag my aching body to Carys' bed. It's still made, her things are scattered around the room, and her books line the shelves, it's like she never left. I lay on top of the sheets, staring at the empty space next to me trying to remember what my fingertips felt when they touched her skin.
She should be next to me, not out in the wild. Or should I be there with her? Ceri will look after her no matter what her feelings are towards Geraint, she's too kind not to. Besides she feels like she owes her after what the pack did to Carys' father. And Aran and my father will keep an eye out too, if not for her sake then for mine.
I lie still all night, unable to doze off. My thoughts battle in my mind preventing my whole body from relaxing. In the morning I get up and get dressed, trying to pretend I'm fine. I skip breakfast, knowing it would be depressing and awkward sitting with everyone. I run into the woods instead. I run until I can't anymore and drop to the ground in the middle of the forest by the river, in our spot.
My eyes fill with tears, my hands shake, and I let out a long howl.
"I'm sorry, I should have come with you," I admit out loud, "I should have come with you," I hear my words, and everything becomes clear, "I'm coming with you."
How could I ever think I could be apart from her? After everything she went through with her mother, then Kincaid and her dad. How did I let it come to this? And what the hell am I doing crying in the forest, longing for her when I can just go to her?
I pull out my phone and type out a text to Rhydian.
I'm going to find Carys, I'm going to stay in the wild with her until she turns sixteen, sorry.
I hit send, and start running again, the exhaustion from a sleepless night is easily overcome by what I feel for her. So I don't stop running until I arrive at the camp.
It's still early so most of the pack are sleeping, but Ceri, Gerwyn and my dad are all standing outside one of the teepees, looking at me.
I run into his arms, "Where is she?"
He sighs and shakes his head, "It's not my place to get involved."
"Dad, I love her."
He smiles at me and reaches out to stroke my hair, "I know, love. But you'll have to speak to Ceri."
This is the first time he's not injecting himself into my personal life, but he's learnt to respect his Alphas.
"Jana, Cariad," Ceri hugs me and pulls me aside.
"Ceri, where is she? I know she's here. I can smell her," I try to look around but Ceri grabs me by the shoulders, "Please, I need to talk to her; I need to tell her I'm sorry and that I'm here now."
"She's in the den. Jana, she doesn't want to see anyone. She could smell you coming and she asked me to keep you away."
I've come all this way and now she won't even talk to me, "No, I have to see her, Ceri!"
"Jana, I'm the Alpha here. You're on my territory and you'll do as you're told," Ceri looks down sternly at me, the way she looks at Rhydian when he's arguing with her. She takes a breath and her face becomes sad, "I'm in her debt. The pack attacked her father under my authority and he was killed trying to save her, it is my duty to protect her."
I sit down, accepting her ruling, "You're looking after her?" I ask.
"Yes, Cariad. Though it's not been easy," she sits down beside me, "Some of the pack aren't too happy that she's here," she says, but she's holding something back. Keeping something else from me.
"What? What is it?"
She bites her lip and hesitates, "I wanted to tell Rhydian first, but seeing as you're here," she stops and becomes tearful
"You can tell me," I say.
She takes a deep breath and tries to force her tears away, "Well, you know that Carys' father and I were briefly involved as teenagers?" I nod. "This is not easy to confess, but we had a child, Rhydian and Carys' sister."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. A secret sibling? As if Carys isn't dealing with enough right now. When Rhydian finds out about this he'll be furious. More than surprise, I can't help but be a little disappointed in Ceri. But I don't let my disappointment show.
"The thing is, I didn't tell Carys' father, he'd left by the time I found out, so I kept it a secret. Didn't even tell Gerwyn until after he came back."
"Where is she now?" I ask.
"When she was born, I left her somewhere that I knew a human would find her. I was so young, I wasn't prepared to have a child, but I needed to know she'd be safe," she starts crying, "So, because of that, and many other things; as a mother and Alpha I've always had a duty of care to Carys."
I look at her in shock. She's kept so many secrets from Rhydian over the years, not unlike Geraint with Carys, but at least she's trying to make up for it now. Ceri is shaking, I think she's still holding something back, but it's all too much right now.
"Carys knows?"
She nods. She's genuinely ashamed, so I put my judgement aside and decide to console her instead. After all, she's done so much for me, it's the least I can do.
"I respect you for trying to put things right. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. But right now, Carys is hurting. If you want to protect her, you'll let me talk to her."
She takes a moment, then nods her head.
I walk over to the den, pull back the curtain and see Carys looking through Ceri's healing supplies.
I can hear her sniffling, "I asked Ceri to keep you away," she won't even look at me.
I climb into the tent and sit next to her, "Carys, I'm sorry, I should have come with you. I made a terrible mistake, but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere," I take her hand.
She slowly turns towards me, but still looks down, "You're going to stay with me?" She tries not to get her hopes up.
"Yes, forever."
She finally looks me in the eye, "Really?"
I nod and pull her close, "I'm not leaving you, never again."
Her eyes glassy with tears, she sighs, "Thank you," she grabs my face and kisses me, "I love you."
"I love you too," I reply, wondering how I ever thought I could be apart from her.