AMBIVALENCE : "I Love Hating...

By Taevya369

2M 78.8K 70.6K

His naked chest pressed against her exposed bosoms as he leaned his face dangerously closer to her and spread... More

đź–¤COMING SOONđź–¤
đź–¤INTRODUCTIONđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Loving Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Wanting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Hating Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Deserving Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Having Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Tearing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Wrecking Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Hating Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Hoping Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Choosing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Loving Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Healing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Desiring Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Needing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Troubling Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Trusting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Paining Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Feeling Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Believing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Embracing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Hurting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Living Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Breaking Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Detesting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Enchanting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Comprehending Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Forgiving Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Regretting Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Desperating Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Waring Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Promising Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Betraying Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Disheartening Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Leaving Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Worthing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Losing Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Hate Hating Youđź–¤
đź–¤I Love Loving Youđź–¤

đź–¤I Hate Wanting Youđź–¤

50.2K 2.1K 1.3K
By Taevya369

Author's Pov

"No... Y/n ! You don't need to meet him on that place all alone... "

A heavy sigh escaped from Y/n's mouth hearing Hazel's words on the phone call.

"You don't need to do this because we don't know what his real intentions is behind doing all of this."

"But Dad will.... "

"Listen Y/n, listen to me really very carefully... " Hazel uttered halting Y/n from further speaking.

"For once think about your own self
Y/n because sometimes you need to be your first priority . I am not telling you to be selfish but self care is necessary Y/n... Somehow we both know that Jungkook hates you for what happened 3 years ago and you don't know how far he can go for his revenge because a human became blind with irrationality when revenge started consuming him or her specially when that person is in power to do anything so think carefully Y/n..."

Y/n suspired deeply processing her each and every word where as clutched the pendant more firmly in her grip.

"Y/n...please think about yourself for once . . Jungkook's pain of past has blinded him with anger and rage  that's why look he's trying to ruin everything you and your father possesses but I can feel it that his real target is you Y/n. He is doing all of this just because he can hurt and break you... "

"He can't break something which is already broken beyond repairable... Hazel.... "

Y/n's spoke firming her grip around the pendant more and in return heard  Hazel exhaling sharply.

"Y/n...just think carefully before doing anything... Because two broken pieces can never repaired each other... "

Y/n heard her every word which made her own heart to clutched badly until she heard her phone getting notified of another call.

"Wait I am getting another call... " Y/n said and look at her phone.

"I'll talk you later Hazel.. It's my Dad... "

"Oh.. Okay and please don't do something which will make everything to get ruined more badly.. "

Y/n gulped hardly hearing her and then humped and hung up the call with Hazel and picked up her Father's call..

"Hello... "

"Hey angel.. How are you...? "

Her body calmed hearing her father's voice.

"I am good Dad.. How are you and how's everything going there..? "

"I am fine but.... "

Her breathing accelerated a little hearing her father pausing and sensing his tone to turned a little tensed

"But what Dad...? Is everything alright..? Your health.... "

"My health is fine Angel, don't worry but the deal.. I guess there will be a slight chances of some negative responses ... "

Y/n sighed firmly hearing her father and replied

"It's ok Dad.. It's not necessary to get everything we want everytime..

And just don't let this to effect on your health... "

"I didn't Y/n but I have so much hope from this project because it's going to help Kim Enterprises to reach the global market more impressively specially after our project collaboration with Mr Jeon by the way how's is everything going at the company..? "

Y/n felt like her body became stiffed at its place hearing her father's words and question.

"Mr Jeon signed the collaboration agreement papers right because the board didn't inform me anything about it yet..? "

Y/n clenched her fists where as felt like her throat became dry because she didn't know what to answer him and she knew that she could never tell him the truth specially on phone because he had so much expectations from that project and if he got to know that his whole life of hard work was going to get in vain and she was the real reason behind it, he would never be able to endure that at any cost and she could never risk with his already weaker health..

So Y/n exhaled a heavy breath and then looked at the clock at the wall and the time in it was 9:15 p.m.

"Yes... Dad Mr Jeon is going to sign the agreement papers tonight and will send them tomorrow in our company..

He informed me about this today . .. "She stated those words because now she clearly got what she needed to do and how to did it and at what cost.

" Oh.. Okay, I was a little stressed about it but as always you took my every problem away just like an angel.. And I have full faith in you Y/n that my daughter will do what is going to be the best.."

Y/n again exhaled heavily at his cheerful voice and specially his words.

"Ok then I'll talk to you later and do inform me when Mr Jeon will send the signed papers to you okay.. "

"O... Okay I'll.... " She replied

"Bye and don't forget to take care of yourself... "

"I won't Dad and you too take care... "

With that she hung up the call and again gaped at the watch and now everything was crystal clear to her that what path she needed to choose and walk.

Y/n walked towards the mirror and then for a while just gazed at her own reflection on the mirror..

"I'll looking forward for our tonight meeting at Hotel Blue Ray Ms. Kim... "

"For once think about your own self
Y/n..."

"I have full faith in you Y/n that my daughter will do what is going to be the best.. "

A lone tear rolled down from her eyes staring at her own reflection where she found a helpless girl who was totally broken and vulnerable but nobody and nothing could ever understand her and her own self was feeling pity on her fate..

Y/n wiped the tear from her cheek and then unbuttoned her shirt's collar buttons revealing the silver hearted pendant on her neck

"I Love Loving You Mi Casa... "

Her heart clenched terribly when she recalled those words of his and the person who have said and given that pendant to her and to whom in return  she had given the promise for eternity.

"I Promise To Love You And Only You For Forever And Always Kookie.. "

She gulped the painful lump in her throat hardly and then putted her hands behind her neck . She unclasped the chain and then took it out from her neck and clutched it into her palm tightly.

A firm suspire escaped from her mouth and then her eyes trailed at her handbag which was placing on the mirror stand.

She putted the chain inside her hand bag and then took out that card from it and gaped at it.

"I'll looking forward for our tonight's meeting at Hotel Blue Ray Ms. Kim.. "

She gripped the card firmly on her palm and then looked outside through the window at the sky where she found everything to turned dark, those dark clouds had completely taken over those shining alluring stars and gleaming sky and now nothing was visible except the dark gloominess just like her soul which was already broken but now was going to get tainted in every possible way and the most painful thing was that she was helpless and was not capable of doing anything to stop her soul from getting taint in darkness just like the sky which wasn't capable of stopping the dark clouds from consuming and taking it brightness away.

Y/n released her grip around that card and looked at it and then took her handbag and walked out from her room for going there where her fate had already destined her to be , 3 years ago.

AT HOTEL BLUE RAY

"Yes Mam.. How may I help you...? "

"Umm.. This room no. Can I know in which floor it is... ? " Y/n replied to the receptionist and then showed her the card to which she saw the receptionist smile to dropped and turned serious.

"Mam can I know your name...? "

"Kim Y/n...." Y/n stated which made the receptionist to gaped at her a little unusually and then she called someone .

"She's here.... "

Y/n heard the receptionist speaking on the phone and then hung it up .

After a couple of minutes, Y/n saw a woman to walked towards her who was wearing formal Hotel dress code .

She slightly bowed in front of Y/n and spoke

"Ms. Kim this way please.... "

Y/n got a little befuddled by watching her behavior but just shrugged herself and nodded at her and then she followed that woman.

Y/n continued to take her steps behind that woman and found herself heading to a separate part of that place which was looking totally reserved and way more luxurious than the rest of the hotel. That hotel turned totally different from the last time she had seen it and was looking like a whole different place and more magnificent and alluring

"Ms. Kim we are here... "

That woman's voice took Y/n out of her thoughts and then found herself standing in front of a large wooden door and the whole surrounding was looking like some private penthouse inside that hotel.

Y/n got a little bewildered watching everything so she spoke

"Are you sure that this is the place...? "

"Yes.. Mam.... Mr Jeon Jungkook, as the owner of this hotel has reserved this private suite for tonight and we have strick orders from him only to let Ms. Kim Y/n inside in it.... "

Y/n felt like her soul shivered inside her body hearing those words coming from that woman's mouth. She clutched her handbag firmly in her palms and then bobbed her head at that woman.

"Thank you... "

"You're welcome Mam...

Have a beautiful night....." That woman stated politely and then bowed again and then Y/n saw her leaving her completely alone at that place.

She sighed heavily and then gaped at the wooden door for a while still fighting that inner battle with her own self that whether to go inside that door or not because she knew it once she got inside , every single thing in her life would get changed for worse and that thing would turn that worse into worst that she would not have any way out from it....

"I have full faith in you that my daughter will do what is going to be the best... "

Y/n suspired immensely and then loosen her grip around her handbag and finally collecting her all remaining strength, she pressed the silver bell button beside the door..

She stood there for getting any kind of reply but got no response from inside so she again pressed the bell button and waited but still got no reply which made her to sighed heavily and then she slightly pushed the door.

And she was known to it that the door was unlocked but she didn't want to enter unannounced but now left with no other option.

Y/n pushed open the door and then got inside . 

Her eyes scanned her whole surrounding where he found everything was well maintained, luxuriously decorated and was looking untouched ..

Her gaze roamed around everywhere but she found that whole place was more calmer than necessary. She took her couple of steps inside the place and again stopped in her track and was ready to open her mouth until

"Welcome Ms. Kim Y/n ... "

A shiver ran down her spine hearing that raspy voice whispering into her ear which made her to shrugged at her place.

She immediately tossed her head only to found those dark brown orbs to gazing at her amber ones from so closely and intensely that she felt like her heart beat halted for a split second.

She gazed into his gloomy orbs which were already scanning her entire face without even blinking for once until they stopped at her slightly parted lips which made his dark and devilish smirk to appeared on his face taking her out of her inky trance.

Y/n immediately took her steps backward from him in order to maintained a safe distance between them which made his grin to widened who shamelessly eyed her from her head to her toe making her whole body to shivered under his deadly gaze.

He continued to gape at her whole body without carrying how irrational that was because at that point they both were familiar with the fact his intentions for her was everything but rational..

And then Y/n found him to gazing at her lips more than necessary which made her to gulped hardly and then she witnessed him to press that glass of red liquor into his lips which he was holding in his hand which made her startled because she knew that in past that he used to hate drinking.

But now he was standing in front of her doing everything which he used to hate and hating every single thing he used to love..

Jungkook's eyes which turned slightly red because of drinking that strong liquor. He sipped from his glass while gazing at her lips and then his intoxicated eyes trailed upward at her amber eyes which made his smirk to broadened.

Y/n too just gazed into his intoxicated eyes and then saw him to crossed his arms against his chest which made his hardly built in physic to popped out through his half unbuttoned black shirt..

They both didn't utter a single word to each other but never took their eyes away from one another until she found him to turned around and walked towards the door.

Y/n's breathing hitched by watching him shutting the door and then locked it and then he turned around and grinned at her

"Now nobody will invade into our privacy....Ms. Kim.."

Y/n clutched her handbag again firmly into her fists hearing his words and her body turned frozen watching him taking his steps towards her direction without darting his gaze away from her for a split second where as continued to drink his liquor turning his already intoxicated eyes more red.

Jungkook marched closer to her like calculating his every step which was proceeding towards her turning her grip to more firm around her handbag but this time she didn't take her steps backward and remained stood at her ground without taking her eyes away from him who too never stopped into his tracks and never trailed his gaze away from her.

And then finally stood in front of her, so closer that she could smell the liquor in his breathing which got mixed with his expensive amd stronger masculine cologne turning his aura more dominating and intimidating than it was already looking.

But she remained unfazed at her place and matched the deadly and gloomy stares he was giving her.

Jungkook smirk turned more cunning by watching her gaping at him , he again took a sip from his glass and then gazed at her eyes.

"I am glad you came Ms. Kim because I was waiting for you... " He uttered with his intimidatingly hoarse voice making her body to shrugged internally and then he took a single step more closer to her removing the remaining rational distance between them.

And then she felt him leaning closer to her ear .

"And you don't even have an idea for how longer and how much desperately .... Mi Casa.... "

A chill ran down her spine hearing his each and every word, she slightly tossed her head and her breathing halted by watching his redden eyes already gazing at her..

"What do you want.......Jungkook...? "

She stated that question without moulding her words even slightly because they both were familiar with the fact that he wanted something and they both exactly knew it... What...

His smirk broadened hearing her question as his gaze scanned her whole face thoroughly and then he walked away from her without saying anything making her stunned.

She turned around and saw him going towards a certain room which made her bewildered but that was enough for her to play his games. So she exhaled heavily and then followed him into that room..

And she felt like every single drop of her blood got drenched from her body by watching that room, that same exact room where 3 years ago , they both turned into one in every possible way.

Every single thing around that place and in that room turned totally different but she could never mistaken identifying that room where she had bonded herself to him for forever.

Her palms turned sweaty where as she felt like her throat formed a painful lump and her heart turned heavy by watching that room until..

"Remember this room Y/n...."

Y/n snapped her eyes towards the owner of that voice and found Jungkook standing at a distance while back facing her and pouring more liquor into his empty glass..

Jungkook poured the drink into his glass and then added some ice cubes into it from the glass mug which was placing on the table beside the bed..

And then took a sip from his glass again and gazed at the completely well maintained bed without turning towards her.

And she just gaped at his back totally frozen at her place until

"In this room where I thought I had found my everything , 3 years ago that night... "

She heard him uttering those words without turning towards her making her heart to felt a sharp sting hearing and watching him.

"But the day that night brought with it  left me with nothing.... "

She felt like her heart got torn apart from her chest processing his those words and her soul quivered inside her body when she found him to turn around and his now completely redden eyes fell on her amber ones which was making it easy for her to understand how much he had endured and was still enduring

"Why you did it Y/n....?"

Her soul turned freeze where as she felt like every single inch of her existence became numb hearing his that question which he asked gazing straight into her eyes.

"Were you really playing with my feelings for the whole 2 years...? "

She painfully gulped listening to his question where as her feet trembled by watching him again walking closer to her .

Jungkook took his steps nearer to her and stood in front of her and just gazed into her amber eyes

"Was every single second between us a lie...? "

She fisted her palms when her ears stroke that question of his and his intoxicated gaze bore more deeper into her

"Did you really hate me...? "

Her heart shattered into million pieces when she heard him stating that question to her with a slight glimpse of hope in his redden gaze that at least she would tell him now what he wanted and needed to hear that ...She loved him and there was a reason behind for her to do all of those inhuman things to him .


But her answer shattered his that little glimpse of hope into uncountable number of pieces.

"Yes......."

She uttered gaping straight into his eyes while digging her nails into her palms aggressively..

"I Never Loved You Jungkook  And Everything That I Have Said To You And Had Happened Between Us Was A Lie..... "

Jungkook's intoxicated eyes turned venomously dark hearing her each and every word where as his grip tightened around his glass as his gaze turned into glare.

But then his smirk crept back on his face as he hoarsely chuckled making her befuddled by watching his behavior..

Jungkook chuckled like a maniac and then sipped from his drink again and she just stood there and looked at him untidily until she found him to got away from her and stopped chuckling.

And Y/n never thought that a gaze could make someone to feel so much exposed and terrified the way he was gazing at her like daring straight into her soul ruthlessly..

"Thank you so much Ms. Kim Y/n for clearing my remaining doubts that what I am going to do would never consider injustice because

There's nothing to be consider as an injustice when you are seeking for your own justice... "

He stated gaping immensely into her and her blood ran cold when she found him continuously drinking that strong liquor without taking his eyes away from her.

"Hmmm.. So where are we...? Ummm..
Yeah you asked me something a little while ago... "

She heard him saying and then him to turned around and walked towards that table from where he took some papers which made her confused.

Jungkook took those papers from the table and tossed around and smirked at her. He raised those papers in his hands and spoke.

"These are those agreement papers which you want me to sign Kim Y/n so that you could save your Kim Enterprises from getting ruined right..? "

He uttered and again chuckled making her befuddled and then she found him to started again marching towards her.

Jungkook walked towards her and stood in front of her and bent his face to her face level and whispered.

"Fine then I'll sign them right here right now in front of you but...

I need to give your answer to you too just like you did mine a little while ago so how could I let your question of what I want unanswered...? "

Y/n peered into him without saying anything but just heard him making his grin to turned more dark and cunning

"Hmm... So the question is what I want from you.. right..? "

He asked and then got his head back and maintained his stature and crossed his arms

"But what possibly you can give me Kim Y/n because as far as I remember you really don't have anything to offer me because as you have said that I need to earn a little fortune for my livelihood if I even capable of doing it but now I have earned so much fortune that I can just not only wreck you but your whole existence and livelihood into pieces ... " He grinned and then laughed and again drank from his glass

Jungkook gaped at her whole body from her head to her toe and uttered.

"And the only thing you left me to offer is your body but I have even devoured every single inch of it 3 years ago so now what remained to give to me.. Ms. Kim...? "

Y/n clenched her fists but didn't open her mouth and let him continued to utter his venomous words to her.

"Well I wasn't capable of satisfying you in bed but do your body even worth for me to sign these agreement papers for you.. ? " He stated still smirking and she still didn't say a single word.

"Hmm... But again ....we both have to want something from each other for making this deal between us justified because every single thing in our lives is based on giving and taking... So If I giving something to you, I have to take something from you too... "

He uttered grinning while ogling into her gaze and then again leaned closer to her ear.

"And that something is you ...

I want you Kim Y/n..."

Her whole body trembled hearing his words, she tossed her head and gaped into his eyes bewildered.

"I want not only just your entire body but I want your whole existence in every possible way.. "

Her heart rate halted where as her gaze got stucked into his ,processing his each and every word.

"If you want to save your Kim Enterprises from getting ruined because of me than you have to get ruined by me Kim Y/n, in every possible way... "He muttered and leaned his face more closer to her to which she immediately tried to backed away but he didn't let her.

He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him removing every possible distance between their bodies..

Their gazes got fastened with each other where as their breathing got mixed and their lips brushed against each other tenderly making her breathing to accelerated until she heard him whispering those words against her quivering lips.

"Save Your Everything Only To Get Left With Nothing To Save From Me... Mi Casa.... "

Hey babies, hope you all are doing fine. I don't know how this chapter is because I had a writer blockage while writing and thinking about this chapter because of my health but I still tried to make it as creative as possible. Hope you like it

Till then

Love you take care💜

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