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𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄:
•┈┈••✦🧸✦••┈┈•
𝗛𝗶𝗶!! 𝗢𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 sherryjjaxn, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀, 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝘃𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝗼 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗜 𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻. 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝟭𝟮,𝟯𝟳𝟭 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗜'𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘆. 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸𝘀𝗸.
𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱.
𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱:
❥𝖨𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖽𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 '𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌' 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖡𝖤 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗀𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗂𝗇 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍, 𝖽𝖾𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖿𝖾𝗋. 𝖨 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖨'𝗆 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗄𝗒 - 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍'𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗅.
𝗔𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸, 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲.
𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂!!
💕𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑰𝑺𝑯𝑨💕
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✧▬▭▬▭ •🎀• ▭▬▭▬ ✧
. . . ２００４／２００５ . . .
✧ ▬▭▬▭ •🎀• ▭▬▭▬ ✧
"(Y/N), where are you going?" Michael stood at the doorway of the child's bedroom, his sad eyes fixated on you.
You let out a sigh as you held your five year old son, Prince, settled upon your hip, your body leaning back slightly to support the little one's weight. Your eyes were tired because you hadn't gotten much sleep over the past few days - and the reasons were far too many.
For the longest time, things had been rocky within your marriage to Michael, which had been holding on for six long years - but recently, everything had plummeted at unimaginable speed.
From the moment you had tied the knot, your lives had been under incredible scrutiny, but it was something that the both of you had been used to from your very first memory of life. You were somewhat of a celebrity, having been raised by individuals that were stars themselves - individuals that you were proud to call your parents.
Ever since you'd been a baby, you had been the center of attention - not just within your household, but when you stepped out into the real world as well. There wasn't ever a time where there weren't cameras following you, and there wasn't ever a time your pictures weren't plastered all over the morning papers.
You had lived the life of a princess, especially since you had been the only child that had been raised in the household you were lucky enough to have had - and in some way, that had made matters worse.
Being as scrutinized as you were, you had very easily found yourself acting out as you grew into an adult, mainly because the excessive attention had driven you to a breaking point you hadn't even known you'd reached. Every new day had been one where you hoped to get out of the web of media surveillance that had plagued you for as long as you could remember, but every time you did that, you would up in a scandalous situation.
You were greatly misunderstood as a sassy, immature young woman that couldn't have cared less about her family. Of course, that was far from the truth, but it's not like the media outlets cared about the truth. Though you'd never made it known, you'd suffered a great deal in your personal life, and you'd been hurt enough times to have shut off yourself emotionally. There were battles you'd fought that no one would ever know of, and those experiences had moulded you into a rather hardened individual.
Every single move you made had been captured for the media to misconstrue, and when you had met Michael Jackson, your encounter had been no exception. Your story as a couple wasn't even a story anymore, because it had been more of a show right from the minute you met.
From your first handshake, to your first kiss - everything had been immortalized in intrusive photographs. Then when the pair of you had wound up spending more time together, everybody was shocked to learn that you had very quickly fallen pregnant. The entire situation was a mess, so much so that you'd had no time to truly comprehend what had been going on.
Your pregnancy was definitely unexpected, but it certainly wasn't something you would have called a mistake, even though that was how the papers and tabloids chose to narrate the story. As soon as you had found out that there was a child in your womb, you were sure that you would love it unconditionally when you finally got to hold your baby - but as for the father of your child, you were greatly conflicted.
Don't get the wrong idea, you liked how you felt whenever you were with Michael, and you believed him to be one of the kindest people you'd ever gotten to meet. You enjoyed being with him and spending time with him - but it was clear that the marriage was predominantly one-sided. He had fallen madly in love with you, but you...couldn't say the same, not yet at least.
The events in your life just seemed to be moving by so fast that you went along with the flow as if you were a robot. You had never taken time to step back and really think about how you felt or what you were doing.
When you were with Michael in public, the pair of you looked every bit the happily married couple, but behind closed doors it was a completely different story. One of the only factors keeping your marriage intact was your son, Prince. You'd both agreed to be married despite the fact that you did not know if you felt for him the way he felt for you, and each of you had reasons of your own.
On your end, you decided that you wanted to try and give your son a proper family with a stable home - and Michael wanted to be with the woman he had fallen so deeply for, along with the son he cherished eternally.
Within the confines of your marital home, you weren't living as a proper married couple. You were more like friends than you were intimate, but every morning you could see that Michael hoped your heart would soon open up.
The truth was, you had never really loved anyone the way Michael loved you, and you never knew what it felt like to bear that sort of affection for someone. It's not that you didn't want to love him, you just didn't know how.
You had many arguments, and often you would return to stay with your parents for a while before eventually returning to your marital home.
In recent weeks, however, things had taken quite the plunge with the false allegations that had been levelled against him again. The stress had affected your marriage and your career in the fashion industry. You had done your best to be a good wife to Michael through it all, but you could never be enough. Your inability to feel affection for him had made it impossible for you to connect with him, and that had only caused more tension in your marriage.
Every time you would argue, he would raise his voice, then you would threaten to ask for a divorce, and he would do the only thing he knew how - beg you to stay.
And you would, even though it was clear that your heart wasn't entirely in it. Perhaps if you had known how to feel that kind of affection, it might have been different.
"I didn't think you would be back from the courthouse so soon," you replied, a little bit surprised.
"You were going to just leave while I was gone?" he asked, staring at you sadly.
You simply huffed, not knowing what to say.
"You're not taking my son away from me," he added.
"I wasn't going to take him away," you carefully set him down on his feet. "I was just-"
"Going to your parents like you always do," he completed, a mixture of hurt and anger taking over his features.
Feeling a little provoked, you straightened up. "Yes," you replied firmly. "Because that's the only place that doesn't bring me grief,"
You shook your head when you saw how hard your words had hit him. "I'm sorry," you diverted your gaze. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that,"
Swiftly, you turned to look at your son with a small smile, bending down to meet his eyes. "Sweetie, can you excuse daddy and I for a moment?" you kissed his cheek. "Go downstairs and sit with Auntie Carol, alright?" you referred to the senior housemaid that you knew was in the living room below.
Prince obliged, moving to run out of the room as he had been asked.
Once he was well out of earshot, you spoke up again. "I don't want to do this anymore, Michael,"
"(Y/N), please, what more do I need to do for you to just stay?" he brought his hand up to rub his forehead. "I do everything to make you happy, and it never seems to be enough,"
"Then why don't we just end this so that you don't need to waste your time anymore?" you frowned. "Clearly this is taking a toll on the both of us, so why are we still doing it?"
"Don't you at least want to try to make this work for our son?" his voice cracked. "We married, but that's as far as it went. Ever since then, I'm the only one that seems to be working on this marriage. I'm the only one that seems to want to try,"
Shutting yourself off the only way you knew how, you folded your arms and kept your gaze stoic. "I'm going to my parents' house, and if you won't let me take our son with me, then I'll leave alone," you stated defiantly. "But I am not remaining here for this. I need....space,"
"(Y/N), wait!" Michael grabbed your arm before you could walk past him completely. His grip wasn't rough, but it certainly was firm - firm enough to let you know that he could not bear to see you walk out again.
Even though you still felt as though you wanted to return to your parents', you couldn't bring yourself to pull away from Michael. The way he looked at you made you feel guilty more than anything else, and to have left anyway would have been a little too cruel, even for you at that point.
"Don't go...please, at least not right now. I'll lose my mind truly if you walk out tonight," his voice trembled slightly. "Just stay...please. I can't....do this without you. I'll do everything for you, but I'll be...incapable if you walk out,"
You lowered your gaze, nodding slowly, for that was all you could do at that point. It was clear that you were giving in because the guilt overwhelmed you, but Michael just wanted you to stay - and you didn't have the heart to walk out when he had voiced his desperation. In a halfhearted attempt to comfort him, you hugged him, even though it was a gesture you weren't used to displaying. It was strained, but it seemed to work.
"Alright," you sighed with a stoic expression. "I'll stay,"
··✧🌸 •🎀• 🌸✧··
As evening settled, things had calmed down a little, and the three of you were in the kitchen, spending time together as a family. You stood leaning against the kitchen counter as you observed Michael entertain your son, your eyebrows knitted together in a concentrated frown. He seemed to be so full of love, and you wondered how it had felt to be so vulnerable. He was more than the perfect father to your son, and if you weren't as emotionally shut off as you were, you might have taken more time to swoon over the adorable moment.
The laughter of your son and husband gradually became a bit of a blur as you grew distracted again, your eyes drifting off to the night sky outside. Very quietly, you excused yourself, stating that you had hoped to step outside for some fresh air.
Michael glanced at you as you walked out, but he quickly redirected his attention to Prince.
Your tension eased as soon as you stepped foot onto the outer balcony, your head tilting up slightly in a bid to bask in the fresh air. You took a few steps toward the banister, your eyes surveying the beautiful scenery in front of you.
However, it hadn't been too long before you'd heard another set of footsteps approach from behind. When you turned back to see whom it was, you were a little surprised to find that it was Carol.
You gave her a curt smile before moving to face the front again.
She quietly walked closer, stopping right beside you - her eyes also looking out at the scenery ahead.
"I know this...may be out of line on my part..." she began softly. "But he really does love you,"
To her surprise, you didn't snap as she expected you to.
"I know," you kept your expression stern. "Even though he shouldn't,"
"Everyone deserves to be loved, just as everyone deserves to be able to give love," she replied gently.
"I wish it was as simple as that," you let out a rueful laugh. "But love.....all it does is make you weaker - vulnerable," you clenched your jaw. "And I've been vulnerable one too many times before, each time it ended horribly,"
"But the right love never makes you feel any of those negative emotions. The right love makes you stronger, darling," Carol tried to encourage.
"People only want what they can't have. Once they have it, everything changes. People only want love if it keeps running away from them - it's the chase they want," you cleared your throat. "As soon as they have the love in the palm of their hands, they don't want it anymore,"
"Perhaps that is what you have seen because the wrong people have taught you about love. If your teacher is flawed, the lessons will be too," Carol quipped back. "I know somewhere inside of yourself, you care for Michael deeply....because for as someone as stubborn as you are, you've made the choice time and time again to be here, even if it's never serene," she smiled as you turned to focus on her. "I can't speak for you, but I know that Michael loves you truly, and he would be even more in love if you took the risk and accepted it with an open heart,"
"He doesn't love me, he's just....in love with an idea of what he wants me to be," you bit your lip. "To love me is to...." you trailed off, shaking your head.
"He loves you, and he loves the son you have together. He loves you so much that he wants nothing more than to give you affection even when he's in terrible pa-" she stopped, closing her eyes as if she had said something she wasn't supposed to. "I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth," she scolded herself under her breath.
But at that point, you had become extremely concerned, much to your own surprise.
"What do you mean?" your eyes grew stern again. "What were you going to say? Complete the sentence,"
"He.....he's been having....a hard time with law enforcement officers," she averted her gaze. "He's not....he's not being treated very fairly. The only way I can describe it is...police brutality," she bit her lip. "He....pleaded with everyone in the house to keep it a secret from you, because he didn't want you to feel anymore burdened than you already do,"
"Who the hell said I felt burdened by him?" you snapped, not realizing what you had done until the words had left your mouth. "Sorry...I didn't mean to snap like that," you shrunk back, feeling utterly confused at the unexpected emotion you felt.
The thought of Michael being mistreated and disrespected made you feel...angry - no, protective. However, you were very annoyed that he could ever have thought he was a burden to you, even though you knew your behaviour probably gave him reason to believe he was.
The truth was that he wasn't a burden at all - you had never seen him that way.
"Oh...no need to apologize," Carol couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips when she saw how strongly you had felt about Michael, even though you never realized it.
You stumbled back a little, heading back toward the door that led into the kitchen. "Carol....would you...mind....taking...an early night?" you fumbled with your words at the sudden change of emotion you now felt within yourself. It was as though a huge avalanche had ravaged your soul. "I think we'll be fine...on our own,"
She didn't need to say anything to let you know that she completely understood. You stood at the doorway as she retreated back into the house, walking straight through the kitchen so that she could retire to the staff quarters.
Michael appeared surprised at Carol's sudden absence, and he turned his head to stare at you as you re-entered the kitchen slowly, leaning back against the wall with your eyes fixed on him.
From the angle he was seated, your eyes caught a glimpse of his left ankle, which clearly appeared to have been horribly bruised. The fabric of his trousers covered it when he was standing, but it was quite visible when he was seated.
In one moment, something switched inside of you.
It was an overwhelming mix of rage and shame - rage at the individuals that had inflicted such harm on him, and shame at the way you had behaved over the past few years. In the span of a single moment, you realized that he had probably been silently bearing his pain from the very minute it started - and in all your emotional disregard, you'd never noticed it. There were many times where you had sat together and conversed with each other intimately - and not a single time did you pay enough attention to understand what was truly going on.
Tears began to form in your eyes when you also realized that you had never accompanied him to a single court hearing. In fact, you'd only ever been there with him once ever since the false allegations had resurfaced, and that was when he had initially been arrested.
After that, you had never accompanied him.
Through it all, he had still gone out of his way to do everything for you and Prince, never complaining about the troubles he was facing on his own.
And I let him suffer on his own.
But that wasn't the worst of it, no. The worst part was that you had done far more damage than met the eye.
The worst part was something that hardly anyone knew much of, something only you and Michael were aware of.
Throughout your marriage, you hadn't exactly been faithful, but it was no secret to Michael. It wasn't a continuous affair that you flaunted openly in front of the man that was your husband, but it was an issue that surface more than once. Over the years, there were moments where you found yourself reconnecting with an ex lover, the ex that had moulded you into the hardened person you currently were.
It was safe to have said that he had been your first love before his dark personality destroyed your ability to love properly ever again. Again, it was a mess, but you didn't know any better.
You'd lived your whole life never knowing which direction you intended to take for certain, and that had eventually become a hindrance to your stability in life.
In all truth, you didn't want to be as emotionally detached as you were, and you didn't want to be the unfaithful spouse you occasionally were - but you were helplessly drawn to familiarity rather than substance.
Your ex, Ian, had been the only person you'd ever felt deeply for before he had destroyed you, and as much as you hated him, you genuinely believed that you were never going to find anything better than what you'd had with him.
He'd wielded this control over you, having convinced you that he was the one that you would end up going back to, because only he had known the side of you that no one else would ever get to see.
By the time he had destroyed your ability to love, you had become so emotionally detached that you were always confused about how you gravitated toward everyone else. You were never certain about anyone, and Ian had used that uncertainty to his advantage.
He always said he loved you, and though you knew better than to believe him, you felt as though your emotional shortcomings had left you with no choice but to believe him.
It was a constant battle between giving up and doing the right thing - but you could never decide on one for very long. One way or the other, you would end up visiting Ian, and Michael knew of it.
He knew of it, and he said nothing. He knew that you were seeing Ian behind his back, but he forced himself to tolerate that. After all, you were still a good mother to your son, regardless of your inner dilemmas. You never did anything that would have subjected Prince to inappropriate situations, and you managed to do it with class, as Michael bitterly put it.
The third-party situation was a fairly detrimental component of the marriage, but it was so casual that neither of you ever thought to state it as something causing stress to the relationship. Growing up the way you did had really messed with your life, and you were still trying to find your way.
As wrong and as twisted as it was, Michael coped with everything all because of one reason, and one reason only - that you would come home to him.
It truly seemed as though you were choosing Michael over Ian every time, even though you were hurting him simultaneously.
But Michael knew that your emotions worked differently, so he had made countless changes to cater to you, all in the hopes that you would one day be able to love him the way he loved you.
Yes, you did a lot of horrible things, so much so that people would have easily assumed you to be someone that enjoyed hurting others.
But you didn't enjoy hurting anyone, and there wasn't a moment where you didn't feel terribly guilty - you just didn't know any different. Your habits had become second nature to you, so that was all you knew.
Yet now, you were starting to feel like something inside of you was changing very slowly, becoming more...certain.
"What's wrong?" Michael immediately became concerned when he saw that tears had formed in your eyes.
Quickly, you blinked them back, shaking your head. "Nothing," you forced a smile. You wanted to speak to him about the trouble he was facing with the law enforcement officers, but you didn't know how to delve into that discussion.
You were beginning to realize just how shut off you really were. Every emotion that had once been familiar to you was now a complete stranger, all because of one person - one person that still had a hold over you when he should never have been allowed that control.
"Uh....I'll....I'll take care of everything down here," you began awkwardly. "You just.....you just....focus on....restoring....your energy," you cleared your throat.
He frowned, not understanding you at all.
That's because what you were doing was unable to be comprehended anyway.
"What?" he became even more confused, only for him to see your gaze trailing down sadly to the bruise on his ankle that was supposed to be hidden from view.
Quickly, he looked back up at you, and you stared right back at him. Instinctively, he adjusted the fabric of his trousers so that it fell back over the bruise, making you feel even more guilty.
You started to feel as though there was so much you wanted to say, yet you didn't know how.
There was utter silence for much too long of a moment before Prince's voice broke through, making you turn to look at him.
"I'm tired," he blinked innocently, bringing the hint of a smile to your face.
"It's fine," you stopped Michael before he could get to his feet to take Prince to his room.
Usually it was your husband that got your son ready for bed, and he was the one that subsequently ended up tucking him in for the night. It had been that way for the longest time, but now you felt as though that needed to change.
Something needed to change.
"I'll take him to bed," you added as Michael just stared at you in mild disbelief.
He had never seen you like that before - he was so used to seeing a very stoic (Y/N).
"Do you think you'll be alright with mommy taking you to bed?" you turned to look at your son once more.
To your relief, he nodded with a smile.
Now that you had felt something shift inside of you, you were slightly worried that you might have indirectly made your son detach from you as well - but he hadn't yet, so there was still time to change things.
Michael stared at you for a few more moments of utter silence. He couldn't figure out what was going on, but he knew better than to argue.
He cleared his throat in a bid to break the silence yet again, rising to his feet. "Alright," he nodded with a quiet voice. "I'll....be upstairs then," he faced his son, crouching down slightly. "Listen to your mother, okay?" he gave Prince a wide, comforting smile.
But the words had hit you differently.
"Listen to your mother," - it sounded so...distant. It sounded detached, in some way.
I deserve that.
Prince nodded back with a grin as Michael straightened up again, glancing curiously at you one last time before he decided to make his way to his bedroom.
Yes his bedroom, because at that point in your marriage, you were sleeping in separate rooms - which had also enabled you to make your unfaithful visits a little easier.
But something needed to change.
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