"Where the fuck is he?!"
"Maybe his phone died?"
"You guys are sure he isn't at the place you left him?"
"Yes! I checked twice!"
Jake ran both hands through his hair, walking back and forth in nervousness. He felt like the world was about to end. How could they have just left him there? They know he is shy. They know he's really impulsive. He could have gotten kidnapped. What if he's dead? What if he decided to randomly travel to world with strangers that weren't them? What he got fake engaged to someone that didn't wear beanies all the time?
"Jake!! Calm down, Jesus Christ."
"But we left him! We could have at least asked what he was planning to do. What if he's hurt?"
"He's probably fine. He's a genius remember?"
Yes he remembers. He was the one who heard him talking about the history of greek mythology and how most of the stories weren't believed to actually be true, and were just there for metaphors that the general public understood for two hours straight last night. And he's the only one who's heard him talk about the theory of dimensions. Which was mine blowing by the way. So yeah, he knows.
It was only when they all met up again when they realized something was off. Heeseung had his two friends with him. Jay had bags of snacks. Jake had a small box full of tiny gifts for all of them. But he could only give out two. Cause Sunghoon hadn't shown up and hadn't answered any of their calls or messages. And they were in a country that he couldn't speak the language of.
"It's been three hours now!"
The boy beside Heeseung looked around and tugged at his wrist, pulling him down the small sidewalk. Making the others follow them and Heeseung's dragging feet.
"C'mon let's just look around. I'll translate for you guys."
The boy was short. And his hair was black and silky with sharp eyes and a pretty nose. Jake would have, in a different situation, been interested in how nice he looked, but right now it seemed of the least important. Even if his jeans were perfectly fit and the dangling piercings on his ears kept catching his attention. And the small tattoos scattered on his forearm and upper arm were definitely not what he was worried about.
Sunghoon was more important. Sunghoon was lost. For god knows how long. And if was making him go on complete panic mode. And yeah you could say it's cause he has a baby crush on him and the way he randomly will dump out all his feelings in a run-on sentence, but he'd freak out if this was anyone so it had nothing to do with it. If Jay disappeared into thin air he'd still think of the worst possible scenario, like be accidentally tripped himself off a cliff or something. And if Heeseung hadn't shown up he would instantly be on the phone with an ambulance thinking he passed out in the middle of the street somewhere. But however, with Sunghoon he didn't know exactly what could have happened. It's not like a stranger tried to hold hands with him and he freaked out so bad that he went into cardiac arrest. That was dumb.... or was it?
"Oh god," he thought.
Maybe he was stuck having awkward small talk with an elderly woman who forced him to talk about his childhood somewhere. Or maybe a girl was trying to hit on him and he was doing the thing he does with his hands (closing them in and out of a fist on repeat) when he gets nervous, and he can't find a way out of the conversation because he's so nice to everyone and can't say no to strangers even if they are trying to push religion on him in an outdoor chinese market.
He breathes in and out forcefully and ran his hands down his chest trying to calm down. Feeling Jay pull him against his side as he walked on the small town's sidewalk and into a little gift shop decorated with different candles and dreamcatchers.
Jay smelled nice. He always wore some perfume Heeseung got him a few years back. It smelled like citrus and a little bit of something else that he couldn't name. It helped ground him a bit. He leaned towards him and he gave a forced smile and pat and rub on his shoulder. He obviously was worried too. Cause Sunghoon wasn't like this. He always checked up on their plans, making sure to get all the details that they would forget. So 'his phone dying' was unlikely, he always had a fully charged portable charger. Always. It's more likely that he broke his phone, and couldn't ask for help cause he can't speak Thai.... or that some took it away from him.
He stood as the boy talked to the gift shop worker with different hand motions, not knowing what they were talking about. Worried beyond measure.
"You don't think he got assaulted or kidnapped, right?"
"Jake, buddy. No, I don't. I think he's just lost and can't find directions because he left his phone somewhere or broke the thing."
He sighed. He knew he was right. But he knew it was also more than that. It just did not sit right with him.
"But what if-"
"Dude. Stop freaking yourself out, you're just making it worse for you."
He didn't seem fine. Not at all. This was not like him. This isn't Sunghoon. He never does things that make them worry. He's too considerate. Even when it comes to food, he'd rather eat what everyone else wants than what he wants.
He felt like shit. He should have checked with him sooner. He should have made sure he was okay. He should have taken care of him.
"They said they haven't seen him. Do you guys know what he likes to do? Like maybe somewhere he'd be interested in going maybe?"
He likes those gummy bears that he always steels from Heeseung. Jake caught him giggling on a hike once as he sneakily opened the bag with a cute grin that showed all his teeth. He likes the color pink because it reminds him of Sunoo's halloween costume his junior year. He dressed up as peach and he dressed up as a blueberry. He likes movies that talk about things that people never like to discuss. Like feeling isolated and misunderstood by your coworkers and family. Or what it's like growing up with deaf parents. He likes movies that make Soobin feel understood within his autism, because he likes Soobin. He talks about him a lot. He likes how they got close again, and how they both have the same favorite movie and book. Perks of being a wallflower. He likes songs with happy titles that are actually really sad. He told Jake all those things.
"No, not really. He likes to read and research and stuff. He likes music? Oh, he can figure skate, is there a rink near here?"
He doesn't just like to read. He's infatuated with the feeling that stops him from thinking about his surroundings when he reads words telling someone else's life that isn't his. And he doesn't just like music. His favorite band is a three member group name Waterparks based in America who are about to release an album. And he's in the top 0.1 percentile of listeners on Spotify for them. And he can't just figure skate. He's one of the top seven males in the country.
"No, we're in the middle of nowhere." Spoke the other friend of Heeseung.
She was pretty too. Jake, notices. Her hair was cut in a bob and her eyes had a soft sparkly eye shadow on them. She had a few piercings like the boy did, but not as many. And he didn't see any tattoos either. But she had a lot of bracelets and a good sense of style.
"I'd say the place that sells albums??? By Bambam's place??"
"We could always ask him too."
"He doesn't seem like the tattoo type of guy." She said, looking to Heeseung and gentle touching his shoulder "he wouldn't be getting a tattoo right? Maybe that's why he's not answering."
Heeseung snorted and rolled his eyes, trying to call the lost male again. Like Sunghoon would get a tattoo. Sure he never mentioned anything about getting or not getting them, but he definitely didn't seem like the type of person. He was just so... reserved?? And tattoos are kind... out there?? Especially in Asia. That's what they all thought.
"No. I seriously doubt it. I think the music store would be a lot more reasonable. Is there like a cafe around here? He has a coffee fixation of some sort."
Vanilla ice coffee. He always gets that. Not matter where they are and no matter what the brand. He doesn't like hot coffee because he likes the sound of the ice cubes against his cup and he likes how the jar always is colder than his hand, which he finds refreshing.
The boy and girl shook their heads and walked down the sidewalk again. This all was just weird. If there wasn't anything around here that he'd be interested in then what was the likelihood of him being here still? Maybe he dipped to the next town over.
"Maybe he is in a different place? Like where is there nearest city?" Mumbled Jake through a closing throat, picking at his nails. "It's been like, what, eight hours since we last saw him?"
"It's way too far. It's gonna be midnight soon and everyone is closing already. His phone probably just died and he crashed somewhere and he'll call us in the morning. I think we just need to call it a night, and I'll call the police so they can look while we are sleeping. And we'll check the music store and a few other places and talk to Bam before we go."
Everyone nodded, some more reluctantly than others. Except for Jake. He couldn't do that. No way. Not when Sunghoon could be literally dying right now. But he'll wait it out until they actually stop for the night.
One time his dog ran away in the middle of the night because someone left the fence open. And they searched all day, and right on their last run of the neighborhood, they found her.
But Sunghoon isn't a dog. Sunghoon has worries and has fears that probably run way deeper than that of a dog do. And he really wishes he could just be there to comfort him if he was scared or hurt. He never said it, but he knows he's slightly scared of the dark. He holds his hand more when it's nighttime. This whole thing was driving him up the wall.
And it got worse. No one had seen him at the music shop. Or the five other gift shops. And no one talked to him at the hair place or dollar store.
"Isn't he on end shift?"
"Yeah, I talked to him the morning."
There it was. A blue and black shop with see-through windows reading a sign labeled "black lotus" and "closed" in the neon letter. The last stop. But no one was in it. Sunghoon was not found like his dog. And he was three seconds from a breakdown. And no one wanted to be the first to say that was the end until tomorrow.
"Dude where the hell are you? I'm outside of lotus, it's not closing time for another fifteen minutes."
"Why are you speaking to me in Korean all of a sudden, Ten? Wait- isn't this Lisa's phone?"
Jake's eyes darted around nervously. The shop looked dead, but it put him off in a weird way. Why were they having no luck right now? Out of all nights, someone who could possibly help them, wasn't in the place they were meant to be at. Instead, his place of work looked like a graveyard as his voice played out the speaker of a phone. And actually, he believed if Sunghoon would be anywhere it would have been here. He's impulsive. What's more impulsive that a tattoo?
"Yes. I'm with some friends that are here from Korea and they lost their friend. We were wondering if you've seen him?"
"...what's his name?"
"Sunghoon."
The line went silent and Ten looked up, waiting, and confused at the shuffling on the other side of the call. Jake personally found the silence terrifying and just wished the guy would say he hadn't seen him and get it over with already so he could get back to his endless stream of irrational streams of worry already.
With the small moment of silence came the intense beating against his chest of broken china and all that came with it. Including waking up from a dream and wondering where the boy he always dreamed about went that one day. The dream where the boy never came back. He shivered. That quite literally was the worst part of the dream, every time. No matter how many times he had it.
"Hello?"
Everyone jumped at the new voice and scrambled to the phone, taking it from Ten who had a surprised face from the way everyone suddenly came towards him.
"Sunghoon?! What the shit, is that you?"
"...yes."
"Where are you?!? Jake was like negative five minutes from filing a missing person report!"
"I'm just at the airport. Bambam drove me."
Sunghoon's voice was tired and quieter than usual. And different in ways that were more slow. Jake could tell with just one sentence.
"Why?"
"Um... it's hard to explain."
"Then explain."
The line went quiet for a moment. And they heard a sigh, making Jake finally go forward and take the phone. He knew he sounded nervous, and Sunghoon doesn't like big crowds of people all asking him questions. He took note of it at Hanbin's 'interview session' at his place.
He pressed the speaker off and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hey, Hoon it's Jake. You're off Speaker... Are you going back home?"
"No."
"You can go home if you want to though. We'd understand."
"Jake. I'm not going home."
"Oh okay.... then why are you at an airport with someone who works at a tattoo shop?"
Quiet again.
"You don't have to tell me! It's okay if you don't want to, we just want to make sure you're safe cause we care about you, okay?"
Everyone was looking at Jake. All with suspense and impatience deep within their faces. But seriously, he didn't want to rush him. He could deal with it.
But a choke caught his attention. Not the one where Heeseung eats his rice too fast. Or the one where Jay laughs too hard. But the one he heard the last time that Sunghoon was at an airport. The choking of a sob.
His head moved around to his friends. Panic going back into him.
"Hoon? Hoonie it's okay. I'm not forcing you. You don't have to say-"
"Can you just come h-here? I have to stay here till four."
"Yeah, yeah of course, of course," Jake said, softly, trying to not show how panicked he was.
The last time he'd seen Sunghoon cry he just felt like he had to take care of him. It hurt to see. But now it really really hurt. And he couldn't even see him directly. But just the image in his head of his eyes red and swollen, hand in his cheeks trying to hide from everything and everyone, felt like a personal offense. And it made him tilt his own head up and blink to dry his own eyes, before bringing it back down.
"We'll be there in a little."
"Thank you."