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There was nothing more she feared than fighting. She tried to put on a hard facade so people would think she was tough. But inside she was scared. Scared for herself. Scared for Andrea. Scared for Michonne. Scared to be alone, again.
She was sitting on the ground in her cell, back against the concrete wall. Koko sat in her lap, purring softly. He tried calming her down and it worked for a little but she could stop her heart from beating so fast.
A few tears had made their way down her cheeks when she remembered how she got her father killed. She didn't have nightmares about it. She didn't think about it throughout the day. That's what made her feel so disappointed. She didn't think about her father who loved her so much. Who gave his life away.
She didn't see Beth sit next to her until she felt her arm skim hers. Her head snapped up and she quickly wiped her tears.
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, making sure the rest of the group couldn't hear. Her voice was laced with honey. Her southern accent was very noticeable.
Adira pursed her lips. Why was it that everytime she heard that question she just wanted to burst out in tears? She blinked the tears away and nodded her head.
"It's alright to not be okay." Beth said.
Adira slowly moved her gaze to the blonde. "I just don't like fighting. Not when people's lives are on the line."
"I don't think anyone likes to be in charge of who lives and who dies." Beth's eyes twinkled in the soft light. "Without you and Michonne we would've hardly survived. But now that you're here I know we'll be okay."
"How do you know that?" Adiras eyebrows pinched together.
Beth's gaze never wavered away from Adira. "I don't know you, but I trust in God. I believe he brought you here to help us. I saw you take down Merle. A man over 'hundred pounds heavier than you. I trust your skills. I trust your loyalty to Michonne and Andrea. You'd do anythin' to keep em' safe."
The brown skinned girl quickly averted her gaze. My loyalty? She clenched her jaw and stared at the wall behind her bed. "You shouldn't trust my loyalty."
"Why not?" Beth tilted her head.
Adira took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Beth swore when she opened them again her energy changed.
"I got my whole tribe killed, Beth. My loyalty didn't matter when I ran away from their cries for help. The walkers may have killed them, but I was the one who let them."
A minute of silence passed by. Beth sighed before uncrossing her longs and letting them stretch out like Adiras. "My farm was overrun a few days after Rick and his people came. I was weak... so weak." She gulped back the sob coming up her throat. "I didn't know how to help. I got my boyfriend killed and my mom."
"You're not weak." Adira stated
"But I was. I let them die. I didn't do anything to help them. But that doesn't matter anymore. That's on the past. We have to focus on the now, to survive."
Adira bit the inside of her lip. "No more running. We are not weak anymore."
"I guess this is really our second chance." Beth smiled through her red face.
Adira smiled softly at the girl beside her. She finally moved her gaze back to her blue eyes. "I'm really sorry about your mom and boyfriend."
"I guess we just have to start getting used to people dying now." Beth sighed and moved her gaze to her eyes. "I'm sorry about your people."
"It's okay, death is what gives life meaning. Seeing people die around us makes us want to live for them." Adira said while flashes of her mom, dad, cousins, and tribe filled her mind.
Beth held out her pinky to the girl. "No more running. We fight until the end. We won't survive... we'll live."
Adira curled her finger around the pale girls. "We live and have the most fun. So when it's our time, we'll cherish the moments together."
Beth tightened her finger, "together."
⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀⠀ ོ ོ
⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ོ ⠀ ོ ོ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀⠀ ོ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ོ⠀⠀ ⠀ ོ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ོ
Beth, Maggie, and Carl were inside the gates walkway lining the courtyard. Pans were in their hands and they banged on them to get the attention of the walkers. "Over here!" They shouted and the walkers came over to them.
Glenn reversed the grey pick up truck and Daryl helped him lower a piece of wood wrapped barbed wire on the grass. When Woodbury attacked they wouldn't be able to see it due to the long grass and they would struggle to get inside the prison.
Michonne cut off the head of walkers who went too close to the men while Adira stood a couple of feet away with her bow in hand and arrows on her back.
The bright sun shone on them and fall was creeping down their backs. Adira no longer wore her shorts and flannel. It was getting colder by the day. Beth let her borrow some dark jeans and over her new dark red v neck she wore a dark red trench coat that Daryl found on a run a while back.
The coat was Beth's idea. Adira wasn't very fond of the jacket that stopped a little below her knees. But Beth convinced her that it would help keep her knives and other weapons more hidden. And in Beth's words, it'll make her look cool.
Adira aimed her arrow at a couple of walkers and let the arrows stab them in the head. She felt strangely calm. Maybe it was just because she loved fall and the cool air on her face, or maybe it was because of her new friendship.
"Come on, let's go." Daryl told the women as he got in the back of the truck and Glenn on the driver's seat. Michonne walked back to the truck and sat beside Glenn. Adira stepped on the back tire and climbed into the back with Daryl. The two shot a few arrows at walkers as the gate was opened by Rick.
Once inside the gate, they all climbed out. "They try to drive up to the gate again, maybe some blown tries will stop them." Glenn suggested.
"That's a good idea." Rick nodded his head as he stood beside the group.
"It was Michonnes." Daryl stated and warily glanced up at Rick who was surprised but tried not to show it. Adira squinted her eyes at them. There was something going on, but she let it go.
"We don't have to win." Michonne spoke up from beside them. The woman had ditched her bloody purple tank top and now wore a knitted sweater with her vest on top. Michonne was the type of person who got cold easily so she stole Adiras grey flannel and wore that under a grey coat. "We just have to make their getting at us more trouble than it's worth.
Rick looked towards Daryl for some say but it seemed as though the man with the crossbow agreed with Michonne. "Let's go." Rick said, and with that some walked inside and others went their own way.
Beth and Adira had been talking about random things. It made Adira feel like she was those girls in the movies who gossiped and lived normal lives. Soon enough Beth muttered a small 'see you later' and went with Maggie to meet her dad for their daily Bible reading. She had been invited to attend but she thanked them and respectfully said no.
Instead, she went to go help Mitch and Carl load the guns. With her new information about the weapons she felt more useful and wanted to help more.
While she was sat on a metal bench with Carl and Mitch she was distracted by Merle who stood infront of her.
"Yes?" She asked the man who just stared at her while she put a few bullets in the chamber.
"Ya know, I was wondering if ya wanted to come with me and clear one of the blocks. Help expand the prison?" Merle told her with a small smirk.
Adira scrunched her eyebrows and pursed her lips. Why was he asking her to do that? "Oh, no I think I'm okay here."
"Oh c'mon Pocahontas. I could really use your karate skills down there." Merle smiled and she just stared at him in confusion.
"I think you can handle a few walkers, Merle." Mitch squinted his eyes at the man. The boy beside her rolled his eyes and continued working on the guns.
Merle scowled, "Michonnes going with me, why don't you come with?"
"I think I'm okay here Merle. Michonne can take care of herself and you a couple of walkers. I'd be down there for no reason." Adira nodded her head and started working with the bullets again.
Merle kissed his teeth and silently scoffed at the girl. He soon stomped away and left them all alone.
"That was weird." Mitch commented quietly from beside her.
"Everything about him is weird." Carl responded and they all stifled a small laugh. When they started working again, Mitch continued looking at Carl. He hadn't seen him smile since his mom died. It was surely a sight to see. Carl had the best smile and he loved seeing it.
Around an hour passed and the three were almost done. They had to make sure every bullet was in the right condition. Couldn't have a blank risk them dying.
Beth came in the room, "Rick wants all of us outside."
Mitch and Carl groaned. They wanted to finish today but they knew whatever Rick wanted was important so lazily they shuffled out the room. Beth waited for Adira and the two walked out together.
"Any idea what this is about?" The tan skinned girl asked. The corner of Beth's lip turned down as she shook her head.
Once outside, the two sat beside Hershel on the wooden picnic table and waited for Rick to begin talking. Whatever this was must be important, Adira thought. She could practically feel the bundle of emotion coming from Rick. He looked disappointed and guilty in a way.
The man stood infront of the group and fumbled with the ring on his left hand. "When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal." He looked down at his boots, "he said— he said he would leave us alone..." and then he made eye contact with Adira. "If I gave him Michonne and Adira."
Adira's shoulders dropped at his next words. "And I was gonna do it. To keep us safe."
Her eyes suddenly widened. Where is Michonne? Did he turn her over? No, he couldn't have. He's been in the prison the whole day.
"But I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal. Daryl went to stop him but I don't know if it's too late."
Adira wanted to sprint outside the gates. She wanted to go to Michonne and try to save her. But it was too late. It was too long of a walk to Woodbury. She would never make it.
"I was wrong to not tell you. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry, Adira. I really hope it's not too late."
Beth grabbed Adiras cold hand from under the table and squeezed it. A million thoughts ran in her head. That's why Merle wanted her to go. To turn her over to the Governor.
"What I said last year, that first night after the farm... it can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be." He pursed his lips together, "I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live... how you die— it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can't stay and we can fight... or we can go." His eyes were red and he blinked away the tears. He gulped and his gaze switched to Adira who just stared at him with a cold poker face. He pursed his lips, turned around and left.