Skating to school was once my escape, for the ten minutes that 1975 would be blasting in my earphones I could pretend that everything was all right.
Today, I couldn't pretend.
My hair was pulled back abruptly by the wind as I gazed out over the ledge. The sky was a dark grey and the water underneath me reflected its colour as the thunderous waves crashed over each other.
I had twenty minutes to be at school.
Thinking about it, I was stupid to believe Greed – walking away wasn't easy like he said. But, why was I so shaken? What made Greed Fischer jump from this ledge? And why did I want to know so badly?
Amari was waiting over at the edge of the bridge with Jazzy when I looked up, his arm was slung around her shoulders and his other hand was gripping the strap of his backpack tightly. I barely heard Amari over Anti-Christ playing through my earbuds.
"Iniko, get away from there."
Amari was tall and he frowned down at me after I picked up my skateboard with one last glance at the chaos beneath us and walked over to them.
"What were you doing over there, Ko?" Jazzy chewed her gum as she tapped her foot agitatedly.
"Nothing, Jaz," I shrugged, feeling like a scolded puppy, "just takin' a look."
"Alright then...let's go."
I didn't feel like skating today so I tucked my skateboard underneath my arm and walked alongside Jaz.
Amari and Jaz were both black, and they had been dating for as long as we had all been friends. I liked to think they would marry one day. Amari would play basketball and Jaz and I would have free bench pass to watch him play in the big leagues. But it was wishful thinking to escape Corrigan.
"How's your mum doing, Amari?" I asked unsurely as I peered over at him.
Amari sighed, "she's alright. She says she misses you and wants you to come around soon."
I nodded and smiled weakly at him, "tell her I will."
Mrs Jamison had stage three breast cancer but every day, she would be outside toiling with her garden whilst Mr Jamison taught Literature at our high school. Amari had never been the same since his mum had been diagnosed and I couldn't blame him, cancer was a ticking time bomb, you'd never know if it was goodbye.
You'd never know if it was goodbye.
"Dad said he saw you skating last night," Jaz turned a disapproving eye on me before she softened, "your mama going crazy again?"
I nodded and kicked some rocks, "it's nothing though."
"Sure, sure, hun," Jaz smiled almost wistfully.
School loomed before me, I didn't have many classes with Amari and Jaz, so I split up with them to get my stuff out of my locker and headed to class.
I sat at the back of the classroom with my head on the desk, looking out the window, it was raining outside and the small droplets stained the glass. In my head, Amari, Jaz and I were far away from Corrigan and I had just started this daydream before my world came shattering down.
"Greed Fischer? Has anyone seen Greed today?" Mr Ambrose asked and the few kids that were in Greed's inner circle replied with shrugs.
Fuck me.
I knew where Greed was. Greed was lying at the bottom of the South Hornston River and I had let him die. My fault. My stupid fucking fault for walking away.
I was sitting on my bed with my earphones in, trying to tie the rope for the anklet that I had been making Jaz for her birthday when my dad walked in.
My dad was tall and as a kid I thought he was the smartest man in the world. He was a doctor at the local hospital and had been working the night shift overtime because Corrigan was understaffed and full of disaster.
His hair was black, just like mine and his soft green eyes were full of kindness – mine were brown and lacked his softness. My father wouldn't have walked away from Greed Fischer.
"Hey, Niko." His wiped his hands down his scrubs. He was going to work soon, "how are you doing, buddy?"
"Yeah, alright." I murmured as I finished the last knot, "why?"
"Your skateboard was gone when I came home," his voice turned gruffer and I felt my heart jump in my chest.
"I couldn't sleep," I said, avoiding eye contact as I fiddled with the tattered fabric of my pillow.
"Iniko, we've talked about this," He sighed lightly and I felt my mouth sour, "you can't just disappear in the middle of the night."
"Why not?" I snapped, "you want me to endure my mother screaming at me!"
His stare turned stern and I jerked my head to look away.
"I thought she was getting better?"
"That's what she says to you, Dad," I spat, "because you're not here."
"Niko, buddy, I'm trying." His voice sounded slightly pained as his green eyes softened down at me, "did you go to someone's house?"
"I just skated, Dad," I scowled as guilt oozed into my stomach. And I walked away from Greed Fischer who was standing on the ledge.
"Okay, Niko..." His patience was thinning but he softly ruffled my hair, "go to Amari's house or Jaz's when she's like that or come to the hospital if you need...I don't need you getting kidnapped."
I nodded, "are you going to work, now?"
He nodded.
"Have fun."
"Thanks, buddy." Then he was gone.
I sighed and flopped back on my bed. My mother was out tonight, which meant that I'd be alone until she came home drunk off her head. No way to escape my thoughts.
I was falling asleep to Cub Sport with Euphoria flashing across my laptop when my window rattled around twelve. I got up slowly, feeling slightly dizzy at the sudden movement.
"The fuck..." I groaned. I rubbed my face tiredly and yawned as I pulled at the screen and ducked my head out.
"Greed?!"
He climbed into my room without invitation and I reeled back until I was half way across the room. His head brushed against the fairy lights that I had dangled from my ceiling and my heart thumped in my chest.
He looked sinfully gorgeous. His violet eyes were dark and angry and his lips were set into a firm line. Pale skin glittered with bruises and cuts and he lurched forward and grabbed me tightly by my shirt.
"Greed! How the fuck are you still al –
"What did you do, Iniko?!" Greed growled darkly. Sweat matted his white curls to his forehead and his nose brushed against mine as his eyes blazed with fury. I flinched away from him and tried to conceal my fear.
"What the fuck do you mean what did I do?! What did you do?! You're the one who's supposed to be fucking dead!" I hissed at him, "let go of me, you stupid motherfucker!"
Greed stared down at me a moment longer. His eyebrows furrowed darkly before he pushed me back until my back slammed into the wall. I tried to ignore how much the pain turned me on.
"You had to have done something, Angel Heart." He snarled and leaned in closer, his hot breath fanned my cheek.
"I don't fucking know what you're talking about, Greed! Fuck you! Walking away isn't easy, you stupid fucking liar! You're supposed to be dead!" I screamed up at him.
Greed didn't flinch, instead he pulled me closer roughly and I felt every single muscle hidden underneath his black jumper press against me. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I bit the inside of my cheek nervously when an unfamiliar heat oozed into my stomach.
"Iniko..." His eyes darkened scarily and I felt my heart stutter in my chest, "I died."
I paused before ranting, "well, you can't have fucking died if you're right here now, you stupid albino fucker –
"Shut up! Shut up, okay?" Greed pressed a hand against my mouth and I glowered up at him as I tried to bite him, "stop. Stop. Listen to me, Frostbite."
People always scorned me for my attitude and my aggressiveness. I was the kid who started fights with bigger kids. I was the kid that got kicked to the dirt and got back up just to scream some more shit. But it was in this moment, I realised I was no match for Greed, I had no chances of overpowering a man that I greatly feared who towered over me and was twice my size.
"I drowned, Iniko." He barked, "I sunk to the fucking bottom of the river and when I woke up, I was on the fucking bank and this – " he held up his arm and yanked down his jumper. Tattooed over the white scars that trailed down his wrists was a large spiral that extended into a curved line. His breaths came out in heavy pants as he squeezed his eyes shut. The fuck?!
"Nnnf!"
His hand slipped from my mouth and I took that chance to bark at him, "the fuck?! You expect me to believe this shit?! First, you make me feel all fucking bad for walking away and now, you think I have something to do with a freaky tattoo on your fucking wrist – nnf, nll ffffnnn knf yff."
His hand pressed harshly against my mouth and he yanked me tighter against him. His grip was painful but there was something so exhilarating about the way that he was towering above me, so sinfully beautiful and angry.
"Beansprout, lower your fucking voice." Greed snapped before he added softer, "I thought...I thought you had something to do with this. Iniko, I have no one else."
"How would I have anything to do with this, you freaky ghost man?" I whisper-yelled when he removed his hand from my mouth.
"I'm not a ghost," his white hair looked wet and ragged as he ran a hand through it. His tone soured, "and I thought you cared."
Guilt, "that's not fair, Greed."
"I know, Cuddle Bunny." Greed let go of my shirt but he didn't move and my stomach felt warm at the thought, "but I need your help."
"How can I help you? What about your parents? Your friends?" I ranted, "I cannot be the only person that you have."
Something darkened inside of Greed's eyes and I felt strangely fearful for my life. His voice was sharp when he said, "well, you are."
I went to speak but my mother's footsteps thundered up the steps that led to my room.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." I panicked and shoved Greed into my closet.
I slammed my window closed and winced at the loud screeching noise that it made. The door slammed open,
"Iniko fucking Warren!" Her makeup was smudged and the look in her icy brown eyes had my metaphorical hackles raising.
Yelling was the second thing that came easiest to me – as if it wasn't obvious – but years of my mother's wrath had taught me that yelling made her even angrier. However, I was an idiot.
"What?"
"Don't give me attitude," she snapped. She was drunk and she swayed on her feet as she pushed herself off my door frame, "you tell your fucking daddy about me, huh?"
"Mum." My voice was firm, "go to bed."
"Where's your daddy now, Iniko?!" My mother wiped her mouth angrily and her lipstick smudged even further, "working like usual...it's your fault, you know...?"
Always my fault. Eye roll.
"He can't stand to have a son like you –
"Where's your sister, hmm?"
"Fucking some man that we'll never meet because of you!"
"Maybe it's you." I growled lowly and cursed myself out in my head, "maybe the reason why everyone is gone is because you're an ice-cold bitch!"
Her nails dug into the side of my face when her palm connected with my cheek. My head swung to the side and I clenched my fists tightly to stop myself from retaliating. Pain trickled down my cheek and I stared unmoving at my feet.
"Don't fucking speak to me like that ever again." She spat before slamming my door closed.
Fuck!