"I was a mistress, I am cruel, I broke a family"— Jasmine Illyza Martin Relova
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NAPAHINGA ng malalim si Illyza nang makapasok sa penthouse ni Vaughn. She roamed her eyes, the place is very spacious, relaxing at lalaking-lalaki ang dating.
"If you don't like the interior we can modify it." Anang Vaughn matapos ipasok ang tatlong malalaking bagaheng dala nila.
She looked at him. Hindi parin siya makapaniwala na ito pala ang may-ari nitong hotel resort na ito.
"No, it's okay..."
"I'll let you take care of the household and to beautify it. I entrust everything to you. I knew you can do it."
She tilted her head. "Don't be too confident in me."
He looked at her calmly then took steps closer habang hindi pinuputol ang mga titig sa babae. Patuloy naman sa pag-atras si Illyza hanggang sa tumama ang puwit niya sa likod ng sandalan ng sofa. Napaupo siya doon.
Vaughn cornered her, he laid both hands on her sides and smirk. Napalunok si Illyza at patuloy na inilalayo ang mukha rito. Hanggang sa gumapang sa likod niya ang isang kamay nito.
"You might fall... but I can catch you." Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ni Illyza nang sabihin iyon ni Vaughn. Bakit pakiramdam niya double meaning iyon? "You look tense, I just wanna kiss Amarah." Sobrang hinahon ng boses nito pagkatapos ay hinalikan sa noo ang anak na karga-karga niya na nakatulog na.
She blushed, kung anu-ano kasi ang nasa isip niya nang lumapit ito, nakakahiya.
"Come, follow me..."
Mabilis itong tumalikod pagkatapos ay kinuha ang mga bagahe. He guided her to a certain room kung saan ang kwarto nila ng anak. Ilang beses siyang huminga ng malalim, patuloy parin sa pagkabog ang puso niya.
Huminto sila sa hallway. Vaughn turned to meet her.
"I only have two rooms here, this one is yours," tinuro nito ang kaliwa. "And the opposite one is mine." Tinuro naman nito ang kanan. "Everything's settled so you don't have to worry. If you need something just tell me, I'm right over here."
Tipid na ngumiti si Illyza pagkatapos ay dahan-dahang tumango. "Thank you..." Bukod tanging salitang lumabas sa bibig niya, nahihiya siya. Plus she's still not comfortable with him, she don't know when will she get used of his presence.
She sighed. "C-Can we get in? So I can put Amarah on bed? Ahmm, it's almost late already, you can leave us now. Don't worry I can manage."
Tumango si Vaughn at pinasok ang mga gamit pagkatapos ay umalis.
Hatinggabi na nang matapos si Illyza sa pag-aayos ng mga damit. Napahinga siya ng malalim at nilapitan ang anak na mahimbing na natutulog. She kissed her temple and brush her hair softly.
"Mama loves you so much baby. Hindi ko man gusto ang ganitong setup, pero para sa'yo kakayanin ko, mabigyan ka lang ng pamilya. I have dreamed of this since young, but I never had the chance. Kaya sa'yo ko nalang tutuparin lahat ng pangarap ko." She laid beside the child and hug her tenderly. "Hindi ko lubos akalain na makikita ko ulit ang daddy mo. I'm sorry if once, I wished for his death. Sobrang galit lang ako sa kanya noon. How would you feel if someone lied his real name? I trusted him because I thought he was a good person, but he was a liar. No'ng araw na nalaman ko ang totoo, hindi man lang niya ako hinabol at humingi ng tawad. I could forgive him that night. Hindi sana ako umuwi ng Pilipinas na may galit sa kanya... I cursed him for impregnated me. Pero matagal na 'yon, napatawad ko na siya. I understand kung siya ang klase ng tao na hindi basta-basta nagtitiwala... I admire him for that." Pumikit siya at bumuga ng hangin. "Natatakot ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga susunod na mangyayari. Basta anak, kakayanin ni mama para sa'yo." Tumulo ang luha niya at niyakap pa lalo ang bata.
Ilang minuto na ang lumipas pero hindi siya makaramdam ng antok, pabaling-baling na siya ng posisyon pero wala parin. Napabangon siya at hinilamos ang kamay sa mukha. Bakit hindi siya makatulog?
Tumayo siya and decided to go to the kitchen, baka makatulog siya pagkatapos uminom ng tubig.
Madilim ang paligid nang makalabas siya, so she used her phone to light the way. Mabuti nalang hindi mahirap hanapin ang kusina. Pagkatapos uminom ng tubig ay sinandal niya ang pwet sa island counter at tinignan ang cell phone.
Someone crossed her mind; she misses him so much. His pictures still inside her phone, kaya binuksan niya iyon. There, she saw the hidden pictures of Kevin. She clicked the first photo and stare at it. Bakit sobrang hirap nitong kalimutan?
I'm sorry, Monique. I hope you could understand me. Hanggang ngayon, I'm still in the process of moving on. Mahirap kalimutan si Kevin, we had been for ten years.
Hindi madaling tanggalin ang nararamdaman niya rito lalo't sobrang mahal niya ito.
"Five minutes,"
Napatda siya nang may nagsalita, dahilan kung bakit nahulog ang cell phone niya. Nanlaki ang kanyang mata at napalingon sa likod. It's Vaughn! Muntik pa siyang mapasigaw dahil akala niya multo ito, nakaputing t-shirt ba naman ang suot.
Napaatras siya at napahawak sa dibdib. "Jesus Christ, Vaughn! You gave me nerves!"
Kanina pa ba ito nakatayo doon? Bakit wala man lang itong ingay na pumasok sa kusina? Abut-abot tuloy ang hininga niya dahil sa gulat.
Umikot ang lalaki at tumabi sa kanya. Kahit walang ilaw makikita parin ito dahil sa liwanag ng buwan.
"You're staring at your phone for five minutes now,"
Five minutes? "How did you know it took me five minutes?" Baka nagsisinungaling lang ito. Hindi man lang siguro umabot sa limang minuto ang pagtitinig niya sa kanyang cell phone. Pero... totoo?
"I just knew it," Yumuko ito at pinulot ang cell phone. Nang makatayo ay tinitigan nito ng maigi ang screen ng cell phone. "I don't know what happened to the two of you. But, am I the reason?" He looked at her.
Napakurap si Illyza at dahan-dahang umiling. Kinuha niya ang cell phone rito at lumingon sa unahan. Hindi niya alam kung nakita nito ang ekpresyon niya pero sana hindi. Ayaw niyang makita nito ang lungkot at sakit sa kanyang mga mata.
"If you miss him, you can hug me instead." His voice is deep and very calm.
Sana gano'n lang kadali pero hindi, he's not Kevin. He's Vaughn.
She crossed her arms and look back at him.
"Why aren't you making sound when you get in?" Sinubukan niyang maging mataray rito pero tinawanan lang siya ng lalaki.
"Well, I thought someone such as thief came in, so why would I make sound? The thief might run and I couldn't arrest him."
Nanlaki ang mata ni Illyza. Papaano makakapasok ang magnanakaw dito sa penthouse niya? Lol, Vaughn has such a good sense of humor.
Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay. Mabuti pang sabayan ito.
"Now, you found the thief?"
"Of course! She's standing next to me..."
Napalo niya ang braso nito. "Do I look like a thief, huh?"
"Kidding, I just want to lighten up the atmosphere."
Napatayo siya ng maayos at muling natahimik sa narinig.
Silence overwhelmed them. Ang mga mata nila ay diretso lang sa unahan.
Tumikhim si Vaughn, his hands were on his pocket. "Do you know a pilot has a good sense of hearing?"
"Oh?" she said.
Binalot na naman sila ng katahimikan. Vaughn was thinking of the right words to say dahil sa nakita niya kanina sa cell phone ni Illyza. Matindi ang hinala niya na ex-boyfriend nito ang lalaki.
"Earlier when I heard a slight sound coming from here, I immediately jumped out of my bed. I knew it's you that's why I came here to know maybe you find it hard to take a sleep." Nakita ni Illyza sa kanyang peripheral vision na lumingon ito sa kanya. "And maybe you need someone to talk to, so I came here to listen. That, if you will share me what's on your mind."
Nakagat ni Illyza ang dila nang makaramdam nang kakaiba sa sinabi nito. Ganito ba talaga 'to? A kind of man who's always there? Willing to listen to every dramas? 'Yong dadating kahit hindi kailangan? If that so, hindi ito mahirap mahalin.
Vaughn should step back, natatakot siya. Or, better avoid him.
"I know I'm not in the right place to ask this but, once again, am I the reason?"
Kumuyom ang mga palad niya na nakahawak sa gilid ng island counter. Hindi siya makapagsalita, why would she open up Kevin to him? Sino ba ito? Ama lang naman ito ng anak niya.
Huminga siya ng malalim at pinatatag ang sarili.
"We've been for ten years..." Malungkot na kwento niya. "He was my everything, he's always there for me, he loves me dearly."
Nang narinig iyon ni Vaughn naawa siya sa babae. He felt the guilt all over his body dahil pakiramdam niya siya talaga ang dahilan ng paghihiwalay ng dalawa.
"You broke up because you're pregnant with me?" He said almost whisper.
Umiling si Illyza kahit hindi ito kita ng lalaki. Pareho silang dalawa na diretso lang ang tingin sa unahan. "You don't know how cruel I am, Vaughn. I broke a family, I was so cruel to his wife. I am the happiest when their annulment papers were granted. I am evil, yeah..." She heaved a deep sigh. Kumurap-kurap siya, nagsimula ng manubig ang kanyang mga mata. "We broke up because it should be. He's a married man already and I am pregnant with Amarah... He married her for the second time without my knowledge, I was like a fool. But I think I deserve it, it's my karma. Now they're getting back together and even stronger. He loves her more than he loves me. She's his everything, it's so sad but that's the truth." She looked at him. "I once a mistress, Vaughn..."
Nilingon ito ni Vaughn. Napahinga ng malalim ang lalaki.
"Those were your past. It can never define your future. Every human being commit mistakes, but that doesn't mean you're not good for someone. Nevertheless, you are still ideal to another man. You know we made things that we surely regret in the future, but it helps us to be a better person."
"I hated myself because of what I did. Monique was nothing but an angel... but I was so cruel to her. I deserve to suffer from pain." Nanginginig na ang boses niya nang sabihin iyon.
Hinarap siya ng lalaki. Nakatukod ang isang kamay nito sa counter habang tinitignan siya.
"Right now, he's happily married with his wife..." She tightly smiled. "By the way, he's Kevin. And she's—"
"Monique, the angel you said." Mahinang sabi ni Vaughn at dahan-dahang niyakap si Illyza. "Don't try to talk, it'll add pain in you. Don't try to restrain yourself from tears, you can cry, it's alright I can change my shirt." May halong biro na sabi ni Vaughn sa huli pero hindi man lang magawang tumawa ni Illyza.
Muli na naman silang binalot ng katahimikan. Ilang beses ng napalunok si Illyza sa pagpipigil ng luha. Hindi nga niya magawang gantihan ng yakap ang lalaki.
"Why don't we turn on the lights?" Halos bulong ng aniya.
"I can click the remote in my pocket but if I did that I'm surely seeing a woman's face covered with sadness. I know you don't want me to see you in pain and in tears."
"You see it already,"
"Not really clear, and I don't want to see the clearer one."
Napatanga si Illyza, sobrang honest nito. Napahanga tuloy siya.
Naramdaman niya na biglang humigpit ang yakap nito kaya dahan-dahan siyang gumalaw para lumayo pero hindi siya hinayaan ng lalaki.
"Why are you like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like this? Why are you being good to me? You don't know me deeply."
Vaughn held her head softly.
"Just now I can see a very good, precious like a pearl and one of a kind woman."
"I am a bad person Vaughn,"
"It's just you saying it because you did such thing in your past which you certainly regret."
"Are you being smooth to me?" Huminga siya ng malalim. Kunting-kunti nalang papatak na ang luha niya. "I was a mistress, I am cruel, I broke a family."
"Was. You made mistakes? I don't care. Those were in the past, we all have our past. You know nothing women in this world is like a virgin Mary. So it's alright, I understand. Let's just focus on the good side past has taught you rather than the bad side it'll pain you." Hinagod nito ang likod ni Illyza. "You can never move on if you lock yourself in the past. Open your eyes, there are lots of things world can offer you. You just need to look around and you'll see."
Napangiti si Illyza sa sinabi nito, do'n nag-unahan sa pagpatak ang kanyang mga luha. Vaughn is a good man, swerte ng babaeng mamahalin nito.
"Vaughn told me everything this morning. Thank you for giving chance to him. He's a good man Illyza."
Madamdaming sabi ni Luscinia at niyakap si Illyza. Kanina matapos ihatid ni Vaughn dito sa Grande Amore ay diretso agad siya sa trabaho, hindi man lang siya nag-abalang pumunta muna sa opisina, natatakot na nahihiya siya. Mabuti nalang at nagpresenta ang lalaki na ito nalang ang maghatid sa bata sa opisina ng kanyang amo.
"You don't know how grateful I am to know Amarah is my granddaughter!" Masigla nitong sabi at humiwalay sa yakap. "It's just so amazing how destiny works!"
Pilit siyang ngumiti, nahihiya parin siya. Niyuko niya ang ulo.
"I'm sorry..."
"Ah, why sorry? It's not your fault!"
Hinawakan nito ang kanyang mukha at ngumiti ng malaki. It's obvious how happy the old woman is.
Napangiti narin siya.
They stayed in the room and exchanged some chitchat. Kahit kailan masaya talaga kausap itong amo niya.
"How's your day?"
Tanong ni Vaughn nang nasa sasakyan na sila pabalik sa AVENUEWORLD.
Nagkibit balikat si Illyza. "It's good."
"How good is that?"
Napalingon siya rito. "Seriously? It's tiring but that's normal. How about you?"
"I'm having a headache. I have tons of paperworks."
"Why didn't tell me? We can take a cab Vaughn."
Imbis na sagutin ay tinawanan lang siya ng lalaki.
Nang makarating sa penthouse ay nagulat si Illyza sa nakita sa hapag kainan. May pagkain na doon na nakatakip.
"Ah, I prepared the food..." Anang Vaughn, papasok ito ng dining area.
Nilingon niya ito.
"But I don't know how to cook that one..." May tinuro ito.
Nagulat si Illyza nang makakita ng sako ng bigas. Vaughn bought rice? Sa ibabaw naman sa may island counter nakalagay ang rice cooker.
"You've been asking for rice lately, so I bought one for you. It's just that, I don't know how to cook that."
Naalala niya sa bahay pa lang ng mga magulang nito naghahanap na siya ng kanin hanggang kaninang umaga pero hindi niya lubos akalain na tutuhanin nito ang pagbili.
"Ah... thank you. But you don't eat rice?" Nahihiya niyang sabi.
He nodded. "Yeah, that's for you and Amarah. I've heard Filipinos fond of eating rice."
Napatitig at napangiti si Illyza rito. He's kind and thoughtful, nakakahanga. Swerte talaga ng babaeng mamahalin nito. 'Wag na 'wag nitong sayangin ang lalaking ito dahil magsisisi talaga ito.
"Hey! You cook the rice so we can eat dinner, stop staring at me that wouldn't help you."
To be continued...
✴ever_minah✴