"My heart only ever had one thought, one want. One need. Despite all, in spite of all...All my heart has ever wanted is you."
― Stephanie Laurens,
Kara sat in her office, staring at her phone. Four days was the longest she and Lena had gone without speaking to one another. Today was day seven and Kara was scared that the way they had left things would be the last time she saw her girlfriend. She opened her text messages and sent another message, 'Lena, I miss you so much. Please text me back. Please.' She glared at the message for another five minutes before pressing send. Sighing, she set the phone to the side and opened up her article notes.
She'd been staring at the same paragraph for twenty minutes when her phone rang, frightening her out of her reverie. She reached for her phone, taking a breath and looked at the caller ID. Not a number she recognized, but she answered anyway. "Kara Danvers," her voice was still shaky, and she took another deep breath. "How may I help you?"
"Ms. Danvers, this Major Margaret Olsen of Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, ma'am," a calm voice said from the other end.
"Oh, God!" Kara responded, her breathing suddenly rapid and her body tense.
Major Olsen continued, "ma'am, I am calling to inform you that Major Lena Kiernan Luthor was involved in a serious accident approximately four days ago. She is--she's severely injured ma'am and is currently unconscious."
Kara swallowed hard, "is she-will she--oh God. Is she going to be okay?"
"Ma'am, her injuries are severe, but she has one of the best teams in the world working on her. Due to her condition, she is unable to travel ma'am and we would like to know if..."
"Yes, I'll be there as soon as possible, tell her I'm coming..." Kara interrupted.
"If you will contact her unit commander ma'am, they will help you arrange transport, if you opt for private or public transport, we ask that you notify us prior to arrival."
"Of-of course--I-I will call--," tears threatened to escape her eyes.
"Ms. Danvers, is there someone you can contact ma'am?" The show of concern in the Major's voice centered Kara for a moment.
"Yes, thank you Major, I'll contact you soon," she jotted down the number and sat for a moment gathering her thoughts once again. The next number was one she knew by heart and she dialed it as quickly as her shaking fingers would allow.
"Hey sis," Naval Commander Alexandra Danvers answered.
"I need your help, Alex," Kara cracked, sobbing uncontrollably as she relived the phone call and the horrible moment she had walked out the door on Lena...
>>>One Week Before, Kara and Lena's Apartment
Kara unlocked the door of her and Lena's small two bedroom apartment and smiled at her girlfriend, sitting on the couch. The smile slowly faded as she saw the dark look of concern on Lena's face. "Lena?" She asked, her voice higher than normal. She glanced at the table and saw several pieces of mail, offers from several major hospitals she would find out later, and a set of orders, sitting by themselves on the corner of the table. "You're going back, aren't you?" Kara asked, her voice sounding harsh and brittle to her own ears.
Lena's voice was flat, almost as if she had been expecting Kara's outburst, "yes, I just feel like I have to."
"What about me? What about us? You said this was it, you weren't going back. You said you would take a job here in the states, resign your commission, you--you promised!" Kara yelled, her heart was beating wildly in her chest. "Dammit Lee, I--I can't go through nine more months of this," her tears were starting.
Lena stood up quickly, knocking over a glass of wine she had been drinking, spilling all over the offer letters and onto the warm red rug underneath. "I know what I said, what I promised! I can't explain it--I just have to go back!"
"Is this about Lex, you weren't there Lena, you couldn't save him. No one could!" Kara snapped, "he died doing what he loved, saving those kids in that village. No amount of you going back to risk your life is going to change that."
"Says the woman who won her Pulitzer from a story that you wrote while in Kaznia for two years, embedded with the rebels!" Lena yelled back. "All because Lucy died over there."
"I wasn't trying to prove anything, I just wanted to get the truth out," Kara responded.
"Tell that to the scars in your leg and shoulder! The ones I sewed up! Tell that to the nightmares you still have from what you did and what you saw, hero!" The last word came out with venom dripping and Kara could feel the sting across the room.
Kara's hands came up to her face trying to scrub away the anger. She forced herself to breath in and out and brought her hands back to her side, "it's your choice, Lee. If you go back, I won't be here when you come home. I've never done this to you, but you have to choose. Which is more important? Me? Or your duty?"
Lena hung her head and from across the room Kara could see a tear fall, "I've already told them yes, Kara. I ship out tomorrow. I'm..."
Kara never heard the end of the sentence as the door slammed and she left the apartment.
When she returned hours later, Lena was gone...
>>>
Kara forced herself to stop crying at the sound of Alex's voice, "Kar, what the hell is going on?"
"It's Lena," Kara whispered, her voice low and dead. "She's in Germany Al, and she was hurt, really bad."
"Hold on," In the background, Kara heard Alex dialing her desk phone, and talking into it in a low voice. She couldn't make out the words. She sat staring out her office window, watching as the rest of the world kept on moving forward. "Okay Kar, I talked to a civilian contractor who does work for us from time to time. Be at the airport in three hours. He can have you in Germany in about fifteen hours. I'll call and set things up with the hospital."
"Thank you, Al," Kara whispered. "What if..."
Alex stopped the worried woman, "No, she's a fighter Kar, don't even start with those thoughts."
"Okay."
>>>
Major Lena Luthor's Hospital Room, LRMC, Germany
"Her vitals are good considering the current situation, Doctor," the nurse reported. "Is it true, she pulled two men out before the helicopter exploded?"
The Doctor nodded, humming an affirmative, "and when she wakes up she can enjoy the medal I'm sure she'll receive, but it's going to be touch and go for at least the next seventy-two hours." He made a notation on the chart, "did someone contact her next of kin?"
"Her mother, yes. She can't come. The other one is a civilian, a reporter, Kara Danvers, she's en route now from California," the nurse answered helpfully, taking the chart, looking over the notes and hanging it back at the end of the bed.
The Doctor nodded again and turned, leaving the nurse alone with her patient.
"Ms. Danvers will be here soon, Major," the nurse smiled.
>>>
"Captain, we have a civilian coming in, two gunshot wounds. One in her upper thigh and one that punched through her shoulder," the medic, a sergeant yelled as he stuck his head into the on-call room.
"What the hell was a civilian doing in the middle of a damn combat zone?" Captain Lena Luthor asked as she sat up from her bunk and pulled on her shoes. She stood and stretched, grabbed her white coat and stethoscope from the back of the door and headed towards the trauma unit. The sight was not what she expected. Blue eyes, filled with pain, stared back at her, calmly assessing her as she walked forward. One of the rebels, a small man, stepped in front of her, stopping her from approaching any closer.
The woman in the bed took a deep breath, and croaked out, "Doctor," in near perfect Russian. The man stepped back but continued to watch Lena as she approached.
"Hi, Miss?" Lena asked calmly, looking at the blood soaked bandage on the woman's shoulder. "May I?"
"Ka-Kara," the woman grunted out. "Please?"
Lena gently removed the bandage, looking at the injury. Her eyes scrunched up and she checked again, then asked, "Kara, this is an exit wound?"
"Yeah, it--it got me when I was dragging one of our guys behind cover," she answered, almost as if this was a daily occurrence.
"Okay, we will have to check for fragments, but it should be easy to treat. Can I see your leg?" Lena asked with a clinical calm.
Kara removed the sheet covering her lower body, and Lena gasped as she saw the amount of blood. She removed the gauze and probed the edges of the wound, "Kara?!?"
"It--It's still in there," Kara responded, holding her breath from the pain of Lena's fingers on the wound, her eyes went wide, then she promptly passed out.
>>>
The nurse came in to check on her patient again, every hour just as the doctor ordered. Temperature, check, blood pressure, within norms, IV's, check. She ticked off each of the boxes on the chart and noticed that the patient's heart rate was a tad elevated. She almost pressed the on-call button when she noticed a soft smile form on the sleeping woman's face, "having a dream are we, Major Luthor?"
>>>
Lena was sitting in a small green space, protected by high walls, and sandbags, enjoying a cup of coffee and the peaceful feeling of the end of her shift. She turned, ever so slowly at the sound of the screen door squeaking open and drew in a deep breath as Kara Danvers wheeled herself through.
"Hey, doc!" the exhausted looking woman smiled, "mind if I join you?"
"Ms. Danvers, you should not be out of bed, the amount of damage..." Lena started to lecture the young woman, then stopped when she noticed the look of fear on the blonde's face. "What's wrong?" she asked softly.
"Nightmares, really bad ones," Kara answered in an exhausted sigh. "I thought maybe a few minutes of--relatively fresh air might help."
Lena stood and walked over, taking her place behind the chair and pushed Kara under the only tree in the small garden, "would you like a stale donut?" She asked as she returned to her seat in an old hospital recliner.
"Oh god yes, I haven't had a donut in almost two years," Kara smiled as she stuffed the powdered-sugar coated treat into her mouth. "S--So good..." the blonde moaned, then she blushed as if she suddenly remembered she wasn't alone. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Ms. Danvers, I've been craving a cheeseburger for almost six months," Lena laughed, causing Kara's blush to grow, but for totally different reasons as Lena would discover in the weeks to come.
"Can you call me Kara? Everytime you say Ms. Danvers, I expect my mom to walk through the door," Kara asked shyly.
"Only if you call me, Lena," the green-eyed doctor responded.
"What a pretty name," Kara complimented, her smile growing as she shoved in a few more donuts, chewing them slowly and licking the sugar off her fingers. Then her eyes grew large, as she noticed the name badge hanging from the woman's chest, "Lena? Lena Luthor? Lt. Colonel Alexander Luthor's sister?"
A frown formed on Lena's face, "yes."
Kara moved her hand up, placing it on Lena's, "I'm sorry. It's the reporter in me. My condolences on your loss."
A sad smile came to Lena's lips, "thank you Kara. You are the first person to say that, without including 'you must be so proud.'
"Proud? That you lost your brother?" Kara responded. "Sit, talk to me, completely off the record. Tell me how you feel, let it out Lena." A smile came to her face, as she motioned to the chair, "I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm so angry at him, for leaving me like that..." Lena started as she settled in her seat.
>>>
Reagan International Airport, Arlington, VA
As the plane came to a stop, the door to the cockpit opened and one of the pilots emerged, opening the exterior door and stepping back as a strikingly beautiful redhead in uniform of a Naval Commander stepped through, reaching out to shake his hand, "thanks Barry, I appreciate this."
"No problem, Al. Anytime." He leaned forward and whispered, "she hasn't slept a wink, she's going to collapse."
Alex frowned, and looked over at her sister. Kara really was a wreck. Her hair was a mess, pulled loosely into a ponytail, and from the looks of it she had missed a button when putting on her shirt. What struck the woman the most were the puffy, dark eyes that were normally so full of light. Kara's gaze lingered for a moment and then they rotated back to the window. "I'll talk to you later, Barry. Me and Sam will take you and Iris to dinner when you come back, my treat."
"Sounds good. Don't worry, me and Cisco will take care of her," the pilot smiled and made his way out the door to supervise the refueling.
Alex made her way to the seat across from her sister, folding herself into the comfortable leather chair and taking Kara's limp hands in hers. "Hey Kar, I talked to a few of the doctors in Germany."
A small gasp escaped Kara's lips as she turned to face Alex, her grip tightening on her fingers, "is she--she's okay, right Al?"
Up close, Kara was even worse, "Kara, she's fine, they called to update me after I set up your reservations and let them know you were coming via private plane."
Kara settled down a little at that statement, but she still looked like a trapped animal, "okay, okay..."
"Kar, you have got to get some sleep, because frankly, you look like shit," Alex said as kindly as possible.
"We haven't spoken in seven days, I left and when I came back she was gone," Kara said weakly, her eyes filling with tears.
"Did you two break-up? What happened?" Alex was confused, she hadn't talked to Kara in a few weeks. "Kara, what is going on?"
"I made her choose, Lexie. She--she promised she wouldn't go back and then she decided she was going to go back again anyway. I made her choose between me and..." Kara broke down then, sobbing into Alex's lap as she slid onto her knees.
Alex leaned over her sister, whispering comforting words as she rubbed circles on Kara's back. She continued for several minutes, and when she heard her sister's crying slowing down, "do you really want to go?"
Kara sat straight up on her knees, fire burning in her eyes. "What kind of fucking question is that, Alexandra? Of course I want to go. Lena needs me, and I swore I would always be there for her. How could you even ask..." Kara stopped talking when she saw Alex's sarcastic smirk form on her lips. "Bitch!"
Alex chuckled a bit and shook her head, "so I guess asking if you still love her would get me shot?"
Kara rubbed her temples, "I just don't understand, how could she break her promise?"
"Do you remember how you felt when Lucy was killed? How much you hated what was going on in Kaznia? How you swore you were going to uncover all the crimes going on over there?" Alex asked in one breath.
"Yes. And I remember mom begging me not to go, but I had to, I..." Kara stopped then, looking at her sister, at the rows of ribbons on her chest. "She's not trying to save Lex is she? She's trying to make sure that no one ever has to make that decision--his decision, ever again?" Kara swallowed as tears started to run down her cheeks. "Oh god, Alex, what did I do?"
"Kara, honey, you have seen horrors that would scar anyone and lived through hell. I can't imagine how Lena feels, losing her brother, her best friend. It would have killed me if something had happened to you over there, if you hadn't come back," Alex explained in a whisper. "Lena stopped chasing Lex's ghost when she met you, but the reason he died is still there and that is why she keeps going back."
"You think she will forgive me?" Kara asked in a tiny voice.
"You are her reason for living, Kar. You are her sun in so many ways," Alex smiled as she pulled her sister into a hug.
The two women talked a few minutes longer, until Barry came back in through the door. "Hey Al, wheels up in five."
"All right, I guess that's my cue," Alex said as she stood up. "Get some sleep on the flight over, cause she's going to need you to be strong and healthy."
Kara nodded and Alex could see resolve in the back of her sister's blue eyes. Kara had taken a step forward and now she was ready to face whatever came next. "I'll call you when I get there. Thanks Al," she smiled.
Alex watched the plane take off, then turned and headed back to her car.
>>>
Somewhere over the Atlantic
The drone of the engine finally started to lull Kara to sleep. She reclined her seat and curled into a ball, pulling one of the plane's blankets over her and let herself fall towards the Sandman's embrace...
>>>
Kara was in one of the spare bedrooms at Alex's Virginia Beach home when she heard Ruby's cheerful voice yell from downstairs, "Aunt Kaaraa! You have a visitor!"
Quickly pressing the save button on her open file, Kara stood and pushed in her chair. Since returning and publishing her story and the few pictures her editor had allowed, she had been hard at work on a book. "I'm on my way, Rubes." Then she whispered to herself, "at least I can take a break from writing the same paragraph for the twelfth time." She was laughing at herself when she stopped at the mirror and straightened her ponytail, then removed the glasses that were hiding her face.
Making her way downstairs, she could hear her sister and Sam talking to someone in the living room. She stepped to the doorway, seeing Alex and Sam, holding hands on the couch, their wedding bands shining in the sunlight, talking to someone in Kara's usual spot. She cocked her head to the side thinking that she recognized the cadence of the person's voice.
"Here she is," Sam looked up, smiling at the confused look on Kara's face. Then she laughed as Kara's mouth fell open, when Captain Lena Luthor, MD stood and turned around.
"Lena," Kara gasped, her confusion obvious as her eyebrows scrunched up and her scar, normally hidden, became a crinkle on her forehead.
Lena smiled, her cheeks pink, as Kara stared at her. "Hello Kara, I thought since I was in the area, I would check on my favorite patient."
Alex and Sam both snorted, both well aware of the framed picture of Lena sitting on Kara's desk upstairs, but quickly stopped as the blonde in question cut her eyes at both of them, the sun making her eyes flash red for a moment.
Kara stepped into the living room and continued to smile as she wrapped her hero in a hug, "it's so good to see you."
"I brought donuts," Lena sighed as she brought her arms up and around Kara's back, the bag shaking as she was pulled tighter.
"I know a great burger place, just across from the beach," Kara whispered back.
Lena spent the remainder of her leave in Virginia Beach...
>>>
Kara rolled over in the comfortable seat, pulling the blanket tightly around her shoulders, and settling her head into the pillow that Barry had thoughtfully placed by her head an hour or so before...
>>>
Kara walked up the stairs to the front door, frowning and according to Alex, moping everyday since Lena had flown out to her command. She slid her key into the lock and turned the door knob, sighing at the loneliness that was overwhelming her. Her head came up as her sister and sister-in-law stood inside the entry hall, smiling at her like a couple of loons.
"What is going on?" Kara asked, perplexed by the bizarre greeting.
Alex wiggled her eyebrows while Sam simply laughed and pointed upstairs, "you should check your room, you had a small delivery while you were at the office."
Kara was completely confused, but trotted up the stairs, to find Ruby standing in front of her door, smiling like a gremlin at her. "What are you hiding, you little monster?" Kara asked with a suspicious look on her face.
"Someone is in looove, Aunt Kara," Ruby giggled as she pushed the door open, revealing...
"Oh my god!" Kara gasped as she looked into her bedroom, which was completely full of flowers. Her smile continued to grow as she read the card attached to the closest bunch, 'to the strongest woman I know, yours, Lena.'
>>>
Cisco was walking by when he noticed a soft smile on Kara's lips. "We're almost there..."
>>>
The night shift nurse entered Lena's room, checked all the boxes and took just a moment to sit down with the patient. "Major Luthor, I want to say thank you," she whispered, "one of the men you pulled out of that crash was my son. You are a hero, my hero..."
Somewhere in Lena's clouded mind, the word hero echoed, again and again...
>>>
Lena was standing over the stovetop, waiting for the water to come to a boil, while talking to Kara. She turned to reach for the box of pasta on the counter and hit a bottle of red wine that was resting on the edge, knocking it to the floor. The bottle shattered with a loud POP! almost like a gunshot.
Kara's eyes went wide at the sound and she threw herself at Lena, tackling and covering her with her own body. Lena's memories instantly turned to the hospital in Kaznia and the night the bombs fell...
The first bomb struck the parking lot, shaking the entire building and causing several of the sandbags above them to fall to the ground, bursting and throwing sand all over the two women. Lena froze and the second explosion happened right outside the garden. She never saw Kara move, but she felt herself pushed into the hollow of the tree and heard Kara grunt as a large chunk of concrete caught the blonde on her injured shoulder.
For the next hour she listened to Kara sing into her ear, whispering between verses that she was right here and wouldn't let anything happen to Lena. All the while Lena stared at the growing bloodstain on Kara's shoulder and the feeling of strong arms wrapped over her head and shoulders.
When the bombing finally stopped, she noticed for the first time that Kara was quiet, her eyes wide from the constant bombardment. Two Marine guards rushed in and stopped at Lena's raised hand. Lena slowly shifted that same hand to Kara's dust covered face and whispered, "thank you."
Kara blinked, and seemed to suddenly remember where they were, "I couldn't let anything happen to my favorite."
They were back in the kitchen, and Kara was crawling off Lena, "I'm so sorry, I--I just--I thought--oh God, Lena, what's wrong with me?"
"Shh," Lena cooed as she swept a hair from Kara's face, "you've seen so much, darling."
"Did I hurt you, are you okay?"
Lena smiled, of course this woman would ask, even when she was suffering from what appeared to be PTSD from her time in Kaznia. "I'm fine, you didn't hurt me." She paused for a moment, "Kara, darling, you need to talk to someone about this. The nightmares, loud noises? You are suffering and you," she bit her lip and swallowed, "need to see a psychiatrist. I have a friend at Portsmouth, she specializes in combat trauma. I could call her for you, see if she has an opening."
Kara sat for a moment and Lena could see the gears turning behind those beautiful blue eyes before she asked softly, "would you--could you go with me?"
"For my hero, of course darling," Lena's hand rested on Kara's cheek and leaned in.
Kara's arms wrapped around her and pulled her forward, slotting their bodies together and Lena's hand guided their lips together. The kiss was everything she'd hoped for and more. Kara softly explored her mouth with her tongue and Lena could feel heat rise in her cheeks as she moaned softly at the other woman's touch. They pulled apart and she smiled widely as Kara rested her head in the crook of her neck, "I feel better already."
"I'm still calling Dr. Nal," Lena said softly into Kara's hair.
"Okay," Kara whispered softly and she nuzzled closer.
>>>
Barry gently touched Kara's shoulder, causing the blonde woman to jerk awake, her eyes wide and her breathing loud and erratic. "Whoa, hey, Kara. It's me, it's Barry."
The blonde shook her head, looking around, seemingly to get her bearings. Barry heard her softly count backwards from ten, and noticed her breathing evening out. "S--Sorry," Kara responded through a deep breath. "I'm a--it's a side effect of my time in Kaznia, sorry."
Barry smiled sweetly, "I have a few friends with those same side effects, I'll hook you up with their support group when I come back to fly you and Major Luthor home." He noticed the confused look on Kara's face and the question in her eyes. "Your sister set it all up, said she wasn't comfortable with you in an Airforce plane."
"She's kind of dedicated, her--our Dad was a pilot. He commanded one of the squadrons out of Norfolk," Kara smiled.
"Jeremiah taught me how to handle a stick, best fighter pilot I ever saw," Barry said, remembering his first combat flight. "Sorry about that," he shook his head, "the reason I woke you up. Uh, yeah. You have a satellite call from Senator Luthor."
He watched Kara's face fall and heard her swear, "shit! I forgot to call her before we took off."
The pilot chuckled, "the phones on the wall by the pull-out bar if you want a drink."
"Got any rum?" Kara sighed as she stood up to move towards the phone.
>>>
Kara was seated on the stage beside Lena, who was sitting at full attention while her commanding officer read his speech. She smiled at the dark hair doctor's obvious discomfort with being the center of attention.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our next speaker, Senator Lillian Luthor," Lena's commander announced, and Kara watched Lena's face redden and her already tense body tighten up even more.
Lillian stepped up to the podium, looked back at her youngest child and smiled. Kara smiled back and noticed that Lena seemed almost frightened, no that wasn't right, not frightened, confused, and maybe a bit angry. Lillian seemed to notice as well and mouthed, 'I'm sorry,' in Lena's direction, causing confusion to completely fill her daughter's face.
Lillian turned back to the crowd, and pulled out a prepared speech, which she crumpled into a ball and placed on the shelf. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you are all waiting for a campaign speech or something about my son. And to be honest, that is what my speechwriters wanted," she paused as laughter filled the air. She continued when it died down, "today isn't about me, or Lena's brother. Today is about the accomplishments of my youngest child, one who is quite a bit like her father. She is a brilliant woman and could have worked at any hospital in the country. I know because I saw the offer letters they sent when she was graduating from med school." Laughter filled the auditorium again and Lillian looked back at Lena, who Kara noticed had visibly relaxed.
"Mother?" Lena mouthed, confusion still filling her eyes.
Lillian actually smirked, and Kara felt a huge amount of love for the woman in that moment. She had heard all about their issues, but suddenly they seemed forgotten. The older woman then turned away and started talking again, "As a senator, it is always a pleasure when I get to interact with any of our military men or women, but today, as a mother, I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of my daughter and her personal accomplishments. Now for this next part, I had to go over her head, so I would like to have my daughter and her friend join me here at the podium."
Kara stood up quickly and watched Lena blush as she took a deep breath, standing and coming to attention. They approached the senator and Lillian handed Kara a black velvet box and watched as the young woman opened it and pulled out the gold leaves that indicated Lena's new rank. Kara winked at her girlfriend and removed Lena's captain bars. Then she slowly pinned on the new insignia.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Major Lena Kieran Luthor," Lillian announced as she joined the audience applauding her daughter.
>>>
Kara poured a glass of rum and took a small sip, relishing the liquid as it flowed down her throat and created a warm feeling in her stomach. She relaxed with more sip, then picked up the phone, "Hey, Lillian. Sorry I didn't call."
"Kara, darling, how are you holding up? When I talked to Alexandra, she said you were a bit of a wreck," Lillian asked softly, her normal political brusqueness held in reserve for 'the other idiots in the press.'
Kara sighed loudly, "she told you I looked like shit, didn't she?"
Lillian's chuckle was full of sweetness, "her words, not mine, darling."
"Did you talk to her before she shipped out?" Kara asked shyly, stealing herself for the answer.
"I did, and I don't blame you for your reaction at all. Lionel and I had the same fight many, many times," Lillian responded matter of factly. "You are still going to my daughter's side, correct?"
Tears welled in Kara's eyes again at the acceptance in Lillian's voice, "if I could fly there myself, I would. I wish this plane was faster."
"According to her doctor, she is stable, but still unconscious. He suggested shock from the surgery and the explosion," Lillian, a doctor herself, stated with clinical detachment.
"Surgery? Explosion?" Kara panicked, "Lillian, no one has told me what happened?"
"Doctors," Lillian sighed, clearly exasperated. "Darling, her helicopter crashed about four miles out from the field hospital she was headed towards. Before she pulled out one other passenger and one of the pilots, they suggest she may have had a broken arm and shoulder. She suffered a broken leg and a deep gash on the back of her head after the explosion."
Kara swallowed the rest of her drink, "oh God, Lillian?"
"Deep breaths darling, Take deep breaths. Remember what Dr. Nal told you. Don't let the panic overwhelm you," Lillian coaxed through the phone.
Kara listened, taking slow even breaths. She started to count backwards from ten. When she reached one, "thank you. Is she going to be okay? Long term?"
"That's my girl," Kara could feel Lillian's approval. "She should be fine, however, the ortho said that there was some nerve damage in her arm, so..."
"She won't be able to operate?" Kara asked, dejectedly.
"No, no more surgery, but she is still a doctor, Kara, and she's alive." Lillian reminded her, "and she still has you, correct?"
"Yes ma'am, she still has me," Kara smiled. "Thank you."
"You can thank me by arranging to spend her recovery at my condo in Georgetown," Lillian informed Kara.
"Would it be okay if Eliza joined us?" Kara asked, already knowing the answer.
"Eliza and I have already spoken, she is arranging a leave of absence from St. Georges," Lillian responded quickly, as if there were any doubt that the two friends hadn't already planned everything but their daughters' marriage.
"I'll arrange things with James as soon as I know what is going on," Kara laughed.
"Oh Kara, darling. Let your sister do that, she loves him so much," Lillian responded sarcastically.
"I'll call you from the hospital, Lillian. Love you," Kara smiled, turning over the new information about Lena's condition in her head.
"Love you too, darling," Lillian responded as she hung up.
>>>
Back at the hospital, Lena's body jumped as a jet flew low overhead, seemingly shaking the building and rattling the windows.
>>>
As the plane she was on rolled to a stop, Lena couldn't help but admire the fighter jets she could see out her window. She smiled as a memory of her father bringing her to NAS Oceana to watch his squadron perform touch-and-goes on the runway. She'd always been a daddy's girl, but she could remember the pride in Lillian's eyes the day Lionel had earned his first star. The plane shuddered to a stop and Lena smiled wistfully as the soldiers started to stand up and disembark. She had written to Kara and let her know she was coming home, but the flight had been delayed by several hours and she hadn't had a chance to contact the journalist before finally taking off. With Lionel and Lex gone and Lillian not wanting to take away the spotlight from the troops, Lena was used to coming home to no-one. What she wasn't expecting was the huge banner topping Kara's small two seater sports car that screamed, "WELCOME HOME MAJOR LUTHOR" in red, blue and gold lettering that Lena was sure could be viewed from outside the atmosphere.
"Hey, Major, looks like you finally have someone to come home too," her friend and colleague, Staff Sergeant Winn Schott smiled as he pointed at the sign. "You sure you can see that sign though, it seems a little small."
"Shut up, Sarge," Lena grinned, not even looking at the man. She was instead searching the crowd for a certain blonde.
She found what she was looking for moments later, as Kara's vivid blue eyes stared at her from under the brim of an ARMY baseball cap. Her grin grew even larger as Kara approached and wrapped her in a hug. "You're late?" Kara whispered into her ear, right after kissing her on the cheek.
"Our flight was delayed," Lena gasped at Kara's closeness. "Am I going to get a real kiss?"
"We're in public?" Kara smirked, "you said no PDA?"
"I haven't seen you in nine months. I don't care if someone is filming us for the eleven o'clock news, I--I've not had anyone meet me before..." She stopped, feeling tears building in her eyes. Then her whole world stopped as Kara's arms wrapped around her back and pulled her close. Lena's own arms reached up around Kara's neck, her wrist crossing as she leaned in.
Kara paused for a moment, whispering, "I'll be here everytime you come home." Then she kissed the tip of Lena's nose. As her lips drew back, Lena shivered. Kara leaned in as she whispered, "I love you." Their lips met and Lena melted into the kiss. Her arms tightened around Kara's neck and she pulled the woman close, afraid she would never have this feeling again.
As they pulled apart, Lena spoke loudly, "I love you too."
Sergeant Schott laughed as he yelled out, "about damn time!"
Lena and Kara both laughed. Lena pointed at the hat on Kara's head, "has your sister seen that?"
"NO!"
>>>
Lena's body relaxed in her hospital bed and for the first time in days, she moved, a small shift of her hand, grasping for something...
>>>
Kara's car wove in and out of traffic as she shot down the highway towards her sister's home. Lena's hand reached out, grasping the blonde's fingers on the shifter. "C--can you sl-slow down? Just a little?" Lena stuttered as she made out the letters on the license plate in front of her, watching them disappear as Kara changed lanes.
Lena's eyes locked on Kara, noticing the pink rising in her cheeks. The blonde never took her eyes off the road, but Lena noticed it was slowing a bit. "Sorry," Kara said, her eyes still locked on the road, "Jeremiah was always driving fast, and I guess I picked up his bad habits."
"Where are we headed in such a hurry?" Lena asked, smiling at Kara's admission.
"Alex's. We are having a cookout to celebrate you coming home," Kara smiled as she wove around another car. "And, there is a surprise waiting for you there."
Lena hated surprises, "Kara? What did you do?"
Kara's eyes finally left the road for a moment, wide open and full of surprise, "this wasn't my idea, it was..." She stopped herself in mid-sentence.
"Sam's? Alex's?" Lena questioned. "Ruby?"
"It's not a surprise if I tell you," Kara smirked, then turned back to traffic.
Lena huffed out her disappointment and pouted, "fine!" She tried to jerk her hand away, but Kara's iron grip stopped her.
"It's just a surprise, Lena, not the end of the world," Kara said, then relaxed her grip. Lena surrendered, wrapping her fingers around her girlfriend's and relaxing as she looked out the passenger window.
Ten minutes later, the car pulled off the highway, and ten minutes after that they pulled into the cul-de-sac where Alex and Sam lived. The driveway was full of cars including what suspiciously looked like her mother's Mercedes. "Kara?"
"It's just a small cookout. We invited a few of the guys from your unit, Susan, Winn and Max," Kara smiled brightly, sliding out of the car before Lena could glare at her.
"And how did you know who to call," Lena asked snarkily.
"Navy brat, duh?" Kara shrugged.
"You got the brat part right?" Lena grumbled. She smiled as her girlfriend placed her hand over her heart, mockingly. Lena saw movement coming from around the corner and turned her head, her mouth falling open as Senator Lillian Luthor, wearing casual street clothes and a NAVY ball cap stepped into view. "M-mother?"
"Sweetheart! Kara said you would be surprised," Lillian smiled, a genuine smile, and wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter.
Over Lillian's shoulder, Lena glared at Kara and watched as the woman squirmed. After making Kara sweat it out for a few moments, Lena mouthed, 'thank you' and winked, watching as a large smile found its way to the blonde's face.
>>>
Kara's plane crossed into German airspace and she stood to stretch her legs. Making her way towards the cockpit, she knocked on the door. Barry's smiling face popped into view, "you look better."
"Sleep helped," Kara smiled back. "So did talking to Lillian."
"We will be landing in about forty-five minutes, and your sister called, said you should get some food before you head to the hospital. So Cisco and I are going to drive you in, grab some grub, and then drop you off," Barry grinned. "The hotel is attached, but according to Al, they will allow you to sleep in Major Luthor's room."
"Do you always talk so fast?" Kara asked, trying to catch up with what the pilot had said.
"That's why my callsign is Flash," Barry laughed. "Want to sit up here with us while we land?"
"You don't mind?" Kara grinned like a child.
"You are licensed, right?" Barry asked.
"Alex won't let me forget to renew. Why?" Kara asked, suspicion in her voice.
"Hey Cisco, let her in your seat," Barry called over his shoulder, "let's see what the old man's daughter can do."
Kara relaxed for the first time in eighteen hours, as she took the co-pilot's seat and settled in for the landing.
Thirty minutes later Kara gently guided the plane down onto the runway. The two men watched the controls, waiting to see if the rookie pilot would make a mistake, but the approach and landing were textbook perfect and they were suitably impressed.
"I'll go get the car while you two get your bags," Cisco volunteered.
Kara grabbed her overnight bag and stepped off the plane, memories of her last trip to Germany bringing a sad smile to her face.
>>>
Kara disembarked from the Airbus 320 and walked into the waiting area. She slid her carry-on up on her shoulder, settling it into a comfortable position. She continued towards customs and slid her passport out of her jacket pocket, taking her place in line.
She finally passed through the checkpoint twenty minutes later and started to search the crowd.
She felt Lena's arms slide around her waist and smiled brightly as she leaned back. "You came?" Lena exclaimed into her neck.
Kara hung her head, and turned around in Lena's arms, "I told you I would always be here, didn't I?"
"I know," Lena smiled, "but it's a long..."
Leaning in, Kara kissed Lena, silencing her argument. "Always, Lee. I promise, as long as you will have me, I will be here."
Lena pulled Kara into an embrace, hiding her face in the taller woman's shoulder. Kara smiled into the top of the soldier's head as she felt her sniffle and shake.
>>>
"Ready to go see your girl?" Barry asked as Cisco pulled up in a Porsche SUV.
"Oh yes," Kara answered, tossing her bag in the back seat ahead of her.
>>>
Lena's primary doctor entered her room, taking her chart from the bed and looking it over. "I see elevated heart rates on three separate occasions?"
"You said to only contact you if they seemed to be causing her undo stress," the senior floor nurse, a veteran Army medic answered calmly. "All my nurses saw no reason to call it in, and I backed them up. Major Luthor has had no serious problems, other than the obvious."
The Doctor, a seasoned trauma team leader turned to face the medic, and nodded, "thank you, Staff Sergeant. Your nursing team is excellent, but considering Major Luthor's pedigree, I am overly concerned."
"Senator Luthor has called several times and talked to almost all of my team. She doesn't seem the type to blame us for problems," the Medic answered. "I actually found her incredibly knowledgeable and concerned, but not overly pushy or a bully."
"One of the doctors in the cafeteria said she went postal when her son died," the Doctor said, flipping the page and going over the nurses notes.
"And you blame her," the older woman asked, "he ran into that village, saved twelve children and ran back in. She was devastated. Of course she took it out on the brass."
"Well it seems like her children have a hero complex and a deathwish," the doctor mumbled.
"They probably have God complexes as well," the medic whispered harshly. "Like most doctors I know."
>>>
The discussion triggered something in Lena's mind.
Lena and Lillian were eating breakfast, discussing Lena's latest shift at George Washington University Hospital. Lena had just finished explaining a trauma procedure she had learned while finishing up her thirty-six hour shift, when the doorbell rang.
Moments later, Mercy Graves, Lillian's executive assistant, knocked on the dining room door, "Senator Luthor, ma'am, there are some visitors at the front door."
"Show them in, Mercy." Lillian smiled, "the sitting room. I'll be up in a moment."
"Senator, ma'am," Mercy cringed.
"What is it, Mercy?" Lena asked.
"They are from the Army, Ms. Luthor," Mercy answered, an audible choke following the answer.
Lena's head jerked towards her mother, who was pale, her fork paused between plate and mouth. "Oh god, not again," Lillian whispered, her hand starting to shake and her breathing coming in rapid gasps.
Lena stood slowly, her own legs shaking and moved to her mother's side. Lillian stood, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle from her skirt and gripping Lena's outstretched hand.
The two women made their way to the front door and were greeted by chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff, General John Jones and an Army Chaplain she had never met before. John stepped forward and held his hands out to Lillian.
"Oh--oh god, he's gone," Lillian breathed out, taking the outstretched hands.
"Lillian," John started, tears forming in his eyes. Lena had known the General all her life, first as a friend of her fathers and later, a guide as Lillian learned her way around Washington politics. The general straightened up, "I am sorry to inform you that your son, Lt. Colonel Alexander Joseph Luthor, was killed in action yesterday while saving a group of school children in southern Kaznia. The United States Army extends its greatest condolences to your family in your time of loss."
Lillian collapsed to her knees, an anguished scream coming from her mouth. Lena grabbed her mother in a tight hug, and turned to the General, "thank you." Tears were streaming down the young doctor's face as the man who had been like an uncle to her wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
"I'm so sorry, Lena," he whispered. "He died a hero. You should be proud."
Lena swallowed a retort, vowing then and there to do her part to end the horrible war in Kaznia. She wiped the tears away, and turned to Mercy, "Cancel all of mother's appointments for the day, and make arrangements to receive the body," she stated, little or no emotion showing in her voice. "Call Dr. Grant as well, mother will probably need a sedative to sleep tonight." She turned back to John, "when will the body arrive?"
Lena saw the startled look in his face at her sudden change, "tomorrow. It will have to remain a closed casket."
Lena nodded, "you gentlemen can show yourselves out. I need to take care of my mother." Lena knelt beside her mother and whispered sweetly in her ear, coaxing the woman to her feet and leading her to the bedrooms upstairs.
After settling her mother in her suite, Lena made her way down the hallway and entered Lex's room. She looked around at the shelves full of books, trophies and mementos from a life spent serving the needs of others and screamed, cursing her brother's name for leaving her...
>>>
The nurse on duty noticed the elevated heart rate and almost pressed the on-call button, bad dreams were a normal part of trauma recovery and the woman's body was not currently threatened by the rising heart beat. She stepped closer and swept raven hair from the woman's face. "Kara Danvers is on her way, Major Luthor..."
>>>
Lena pulled the orders from her bag, placing them on the opposite corner of the small coffee table that Kara had refinished for their small apartment. She set her wine glass down next to the fifteen offer letters from the hospitals she had applied to and sighed heavily. 'How am I going to tell her?" She asked herself for the twentieth time since she had accepted the orders. She was leaving tomorrow, had known for two weeks, and had just been too much of a coward to tell Kara that she had to break her promise.
She frowned as she heard Kara's key in the door.
She looked up into the smiling blue eyes of Kara, then watched sadly as the smile disappeared, replaced by concern and anger.
"Lena?" Kara asked and Lena could hear the hurt in the blonde's voice, which turned to anger quickly as she snapped, "you're going back, aren't you?"
Lena knew that Kara would be angry and flinched just a bit at the accusation, her voice was hollow when she answered, almost as if she was trying to convince herself and Kara of the truth in her words, "yes, I-I just feel like I have to."
Kara's voice was loud, shrill as she screamed at Lena, "what about me? What about us? You said this was it, you weren't going back." Lena could have sworn she could see Kara's pulse in her neck as the journalist continued yelling, "you said you would take a job here in the state, resign your commission." Lena's resolve almost gave when she heard the crack in Kara's voice, "you--you promised. Dammit Lee, I--I can't go through nine more months of this." Lena watched the tears form in her girlfriend's eyes and could feel her own burning.
Lena stood up, knocking over her wine, watching the red liquid spilled over the offer letters and yelled back, "I know what I said, what I promised. I can't explain it--I just have to go back!"
Kara's next words cut Lena deeply, "is this about Lex, you weren't there Lena, you couldn't save him. No one could!" Kara's voice was higher than normal, Lena knew it was her disappointment and sadness spilling into her words, "he died doing what he loved, saving those kids in that village. No amount of you going back to risk your life is going to change that."
"Says the woman who won her Pulitzer from a story that you wrote while in Kaznia for two years, embedded with the rebels!" Lena shot back, sticking the knife into what was still an open wound for her girlfriend. "All because Lucy died over there."
Kara's voice was barely a whisper, "I wasn't trying to prove anything, I just wanted to get the truth out,"
Lena's next words were meant to cause pain as she snapped, "tell that to the scars in your leg and shoulder! The ones I sewed up! Tell that to the nightmares you still have from what you did and what you saw, hero!" Instead of praise, the word was meant as an insult, a dig at Kara for something Lena had always cherished about her.
She watched Kara cover her face, hoping she wouldn't have to deal with more tears. Instead she stood, shocked as Kara looked at her with so much anger, and spoke so harshly towards her, "it's your choice, Lee. If you go back, I won't be here when you come home. I've never done this to you, but you have to choose. Which is more important? Me? Or your duty?"
Lena dropped her head, trying to hide her tears, "I've already told them yes, Kara. I ship out tomorrow. I'm..."
Her head came up as the door slammed, "sorry"
Lena stood shocked in the middle of the living room as red wine created a puddle on the rug, staring at the door. She could hear the elevator ding as it opened and closed. Her tears started as she moved to the bedroom and packed her duffle bag, grabbing Lex's backpack and tucking her memory book, a gift from Kara when she had come home, and moved towards the door.
With slumped shoulders, she locked the door and made her way downstairs slowly, hoping that she might run into Kara before she got to the street...
>>>
The nurse opened the door, and Kara burst into the room, rushing to Lena's side. She noticed tears running down her girlfriend's pale cheeks. Her hand was shaking as she wiped them away. Lena whimpered and Kara reached down, wrapping her fingers around Lena's.
Almost instantly, Lena's body relaxed and her heart started to calm down. Kara relaxed and took in Lena's current state. Her shoulder was immobilized, broken in two spots, with nerve damage, according to Lillian and the Orthopedic doctor she had caught at the nurses station. Her leg was wrapped, a clean break to her ankle, nothing major. She cringed as she looked at Lena's head, her hair shaved from one side, and stitches running up her scalp. "Has she woken up at all?"
"No ma'am," the nurse answered with a smile impressed by the woman's poise considering the situation.
"She's going to be so mad about her hair," Kara smiled weakly.
"It'll grow back ma'am," the nurse smiled brightly.
"Thank you so much for taking care of her," Kara sighed and settled down, taking a seat beside Lena's bed and squeezed Lena's fingers tightly.
The nurse noticed Lena's eyelids flutter and heard Kara gasp as Lena squeezed back.
Lena's eyes continued to move then slowly opened. Her cracked lips moved up in a smile as she found clear blue eyes staring at her, hope filling them. Kara held a cup and straw and she sucked greedily trying to soothe her parched throat.
The nurse left to get the doctor, and Kara leaned forward, "hey you."
"You're here, you came?" Lena asked with a hoarse whisper.
"Of course I came. Why wouldn't I?" Kara asked softly.
"I made a choice, the wrong choice?" Lena's head dropped.
Kara lifted her chin, "Lee, you made the only choice you could. I understand that now." Kara smiled as green eyes shined at her, "I made a choice too."
Lena looked confused as she asked, "Kara?"
"Major Lena Keiran Luthor, I will always choose you." Kara smiled as she leaned forward and kissed her girlfriend lightly on the lips.
"Ohhh..."