We enter the beautiful monastery. I stare at the breathtaking garden and buildings. It seems so peaceful, I'm contemplating becoming a monk. Although, I know it's very hard for there to be female monks. I would usually comment on sexism but I don't really care right now. But it's still absolutely gorgeous.
I wonder if people can get married here?
"What is this, a P.F. Chang's?" Alan remarks.
"Ah, they're meditating," Stu observes as we continue to walk. "Such peaceful people."
"Yeah," Phil agrees.
"Knock, knock!" I mentally facepalm myself as Alan yells at the monks meditating. All of them turn their heads to look at us. "Hello?!"
"Alan, stop," I tell him as the man in the front stands up.
"We brought one of your guys back," Alan says. "He's really funny. He's really nice and cool."
"Hi, how you doin'?" Phil asks the monk that approaches us. "Uh, are you in charge?"
My mouth falls open as the monk hits Phil in the face with a stick. He then hits Alan and Stu in the stomach. My instincts tell me to run, so I run a few feet away, lucky that he doesn't chase after me. I realize that he's only hitting them because they're talking. I don't say a word and wait for them to realize it themselves.
"Sh! Sh!" Phil raises his hands in surrender. "No talk. No talk."
The monk walks up to me, nodding. I nod back and he motions for us to follow him. We follow him inside of a temple with the old man. He goes up to the man lighting candles, whispering in his ear.
The man turns around, beginning to speak. "Late last night, you climbed that walls of our monastery, shouting out questions about love, marriage, and the meaning of life. Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden," He gestures at the older monk. "And you took him."
"Oh, my God," Stu puts his head in his hand ashamed. "We kidnapped a monk."
"Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle," Alan tells the man.
"We are so sorry about that," I apologize to the monk. "But we weren't ourselves last night."
"Yup, things kinda spun outta control a little bit," Stu continues. "But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. Can you find out if he knows where our friend is?"
"Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago," The monk informs us. "It would be useless to try."
"Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper?" Phil suggests.
"Actually, Phil, that would be cheating," Alan comments before looking at the monk. "Isn't that right, Grand Wizard?"
"Alan," I shake my head.
"I'm afraid fatty is right," The monk says.
"See? What?" Alan gives him an offended look.
"None of us will ever know what brother Han knows," The monk explains.
"Great," I huff. "Just great."
"Come on, let's go. Bunch of bald assholes," Phil mutters before pointing at the monk. "You know what? FYI: You may wanna put some signs up that say, "No talking" before you unleash your dragon," He points at the other monk that hit them.
"Yeah, that was a little rough," Stu nods.
"And you're welcome for bringing him back safe," Phil adds. "You know, we found him in a drunk tank."
"We did kind of kidnap him in the first place," I point out.
We all turn around but the monk stops us.
"Wait," We turn back around. "The Buddha teaches: Every memory lives somewhere deep within. Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation."
"Did you understand a word he just said?" Phil asks us, the monkey resting on his shoulders.
"Yeah, I got about two-thirds," Stu answers.
"We have to go to the garden of meditation," I explain. "If we meditate, maybe it'll help us."
They look skeptical but I waste no time going back to the place they hit the men. I sit down behind the monks meditating, hearing the others taking seats beside me. Phil is to my right and Stu is on my left. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to relax.
"This is a waste of time. I don't remember anything," Phil whispers.
"Sh," I say. "You have to open your mind."
"What?" He asks confused.
"Just shut up and don't think about anything," I hiss. But nothing comes to my mind. "Never mind. I got nothing. Stu?"
"Nope," He opens his eyes and looks at Alan. "Alan?"
"Alan?" I repeat when the man-child doesn't respond.
It takes a few more seconds before Alan's eyes open. "I know where to go."
~~~~~
We stare up the sign Siam Sam's, the place Alan said we have to go to. I look at the women outside the strip club, wearing tiny school uniforms as they flirt with a man. We enter and I look around at the women dancing.
I wonder if I should've become a stripper?
"No," I turn my head to the left at Phil.
"I said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Yep."
"Why?" I look at the women. "I used to dance. They make good money and it seems like it could be fun."
"No," He repeats. "You're Aspen Price, the lawyer. You're not a stripper."
I look up at him, realizing he isn't looking at any of the women. He's not even looking at me. He's looking straight ahead. What are you thinking about, Phil?
"Bros, finally!" I look ahead, too, at the man walking up to us. "Is he coming or not? I've been waiting all day for him."
"I'm sorry, waiting for who?" Phil asks him confused.
"Chow," He answers. "That dick-ass fuck," We all freeze. "Why, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," I quickly say before any of them can say something stupid.
"Okay, good," He says. "Look at this," He grabs something wrapped in a towel. "Look what I bring for him. Check it out," A fucking gun is revealed. "Huh?"
"No, no, no, no," Phil steps back and I subconsciously step back with him, grabbing onto his arm.
"$6,000 American," The man says.
"Wow, it looks so real," Alan picks it up and it starts firing.
Phil puts his head on my head, forcing me to duck with him. I lean into him, always finding safety in his hold. We lock eyes for a mere second. As if I can read his mind, I nod that I'm okay.
"Sorry, sorry," Alan says after dropping the gun.
"Alan, what the fuck?!" I yell, standing straight.
"It's okay!" The man who showed us the gun assures us. "The gun, very sensitive," He grabs the gun. "Very sensitive. Everybody okay?" He looks around at everyone in the room. All of the women say "yes" to him. "Okay? Then get the fuck back to work! Come on! Music, please!" He looks back at us. "Who has my $6,000."
"No, no, no, no," Phil says as the music resumes. "That's Chow's deal. We got nothin' to do with that."
"Un-fucking-believable, man," The man curses. "This guy, if he backs out again," We all step back as he lifts up the gun. "This shit is gonna catch up to him, okay? He's made a lot of enemies in this town, and now they're gonna be your enemies."
"That's not fair!" Stu exclaims.
"Listen, we're looking for this kid," I tell the man.
"$2,000," He gives us a price.
"What?!" Stu shouts.
"I don't know," He shrugs. "I mean, maybe more, okay? How young you want this kid to be?"
"Oh, my God," I whisper. He thinks we want to buy a kid. Oh, I am totally taking this guy out if he's sex-trafficking kids. I know a team in L.A. that will help me investigate but for now, we need to find Teddy. "No, we're looking for our friend, Teddy. He's 16."
"Teddy?" The man questions. "Yeah, he was here with you guys last night."
"He was?!" Phil says relieved. "Do you remember if he left with us?"
"I don't know," He answers. "You were in the corner all night with Kimmy. I didn't see you leave."
"Kimmy?" Phil repeats. "Is she here?"
"Yeah, she's in the back," He tells us. "She just came for her shift. Go and talk to her."
"I'm sorry about everything that happened," Phil apologizes to him.
"Listen to me. Pay attention to what I'm gonna talk to you now," The foreign man begins. "When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says hello."
"Okay," We nod.
"But do it like that, okay?" Samir says. "Hello. Like threatening. Like ironic. Hello."
"Okay, we'll have Ash do it," Alan says and I look at him. "You're threatening."
I shake my head, beginning to walk to the back. I lead the way to the dressing rooms. I look at the women getting ready, their perfect skin and bodies making me look down at my dirty clothes and in the mirror at my ruined makeup. I ignore that, looking for Kimmy. Once we find her, she sits down with us and we ask her about Teddy.
"Of course I remember him," She says. "He was buying shots for everyone. Nice kid. His parents must be so proud."
"Yeah," Stu breathes out. "You have no idea."
"Do you remember if he left with us?" Phil asks.
"Yeah, you all were leaving together," She answers before pointing at Stu. "But you almost left this one right here. Right, superstar?"
"Hmm?" Stu looks at her confused.
"This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night," She says, patting Stu's knee. "Saying how he fall in love with me and ask me to marry him."
I laugh. "Looks like you got a thing for strippers, Stewie."
"We didn't get married, did we?" He asks her.
"Of course not," She assures. "We just had some fun in the chardonnay room."
"What happens in the chardonnay room?" Phil asks.
"I dance for him, tickle him, we have sex," She begins, and Stu groans. "I massage his shoulders."
"It's okay, you're not married yet," Phil tells him. "It's no big deal."
"It's no big deal," I scoff at Phil's remark. "It's cheating, Phil. He cheated on Lauren."
"You're freaking your brother out," Phil tells me. "It's just sex."
"Sex can be just sex," I say. "But cheating is still cheating. There's no excuse for that."
"It's okay, sweetie," She says to me. "You and your loverboy were having fun in the tequila room."
"What?" My face drops even more.
"Yeah," She nods.
"So you cheated on your boyfriend," Phil tells me.
I didn't because he's not my boyfriend anymore.
"And you cheated on your wife," I say sternly.
"Oh, no, you guys didn't have sex," She says. "Cindy was with you. She said you guys didn't even kiss. You just declared your love for each other."
"We did what?" I blurt out.
"Yeah, she say you wouldn't let him kiss you because he's married. You just partied and let Cindy take body shots off you while he cheered." She says. "You a good woman."
"Oh, thank God," I sigh.
"Thank God?" Phil gives me a look.
"Yes, Phil, we didn't cheat on anyone," I say.
He opens his mouth to say something but Kimmy continues. "Don't be sad, Stu. You love it. You were crying, saying how special it was."
"Wait, he was crying?" Phil chuckles, his mood completely changing.
"What a baby," Alan laughs. "He was crying."
"You shoulda seen him," Kimmy stands up, ruffling Stu's hair. "He was so sexy, the way he move 'round. I had to ask him slow down so I don't drop my load too quick," She adds as she walks to her locker.
"Did you just say load?" I look at her confused.
"Oh, you know," She looks at Stu. "My sperms."
"I think your English is off," Stu tells her. "You're talking about my sperms. Where would your sperm come from?"
"From my balls," She answers.
"Hold on," Phil sits up straight. "Back up."
"Wait, are you..." I knit my eyebrows together. "A man?"
"You in Bangkok, sweetie," She takes off her robe. "There's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt," I look away when she turns around and reveals her dick.
I hear Stu fall off of his chair and Phil turns his chair around. I close my eyes as another one of the strippers walks past me with their junk hanging out.
"I don't get it," Alan says to Kimmy. "Is this a magic show?"
"Come on, Stu," Kimmy ignores Alan. "It was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time."
"How's that work?" Stu asks.
"Shoot my load into you, you shoot your load on the floor," She explains.
I feel like I'm going to throw up, mainly because I don't want to imagine my brother shooting anything anywhere.
"You shot your load in me?" Stu cries. "In my bottom?"
"Hey, sweetie," A pretty woman pops up in front of me, thank God clothed. "Remember me? I'm Cindy."
"Hi," I smile softly, trying to pretend that I remember her.
"Oh, what happened to your clothes and you look so tired," She observes me. "You were so beautiful last night, what happened?"
Um, do I not look beautiful now?
"Oh, and Phil," She smiles at Phil. "You two are so cute. Makes me believe that their is love in world."
I awkwardly look at Phil.
"Come, honey, I get you in some clean clothes and fix up face," She reaches her hand out.
"Uh..." I look at it skeptically.
"It's okay," Phil nods. "We'll wait outside."
"Okay," I nod.
The men leave, Stu looking in pain. Cindy guides me to the rack of clothes. I look at them, saying "no" to almost all of them because they're so tiny. I finally agree to put on skin tight black leggings and a black bralette looking top. She wipes off my running mascara and the sweat all over my face, quickly applying fresh mascara and concealer. She then puts my loose hair up into a messy ponytail.
"There you go, sweetie," She smiles at me through the mirror. "You're so naturally beautiful, I don't see why Phil no leave his wife for you."
I purse my lips, wishing I can say the samething but that's wrong. I told him two years ago to make his marriage work so his family wouldn't breakup like mine, but I really regret that. I couldn't make my first relationship work because of Phil. Because I still love him and never even told him that. Now he probably hates me all over again. The sad thing is, I wish I could hate him for doing what I said. I just can't.