Over the next few days, I quickly learned that momma bear was quite upset with me. Sigyn was dutiful in her work, helping the team and doing whatever they told her. She helped heal wounds made in training and acted as a mother for the entire team. Sigyn made sure we were all eating and generally healthy.
But despite her warmness, she was somewhat cold towards me. I could tell it was all due to fear. As she watched Hela hold daggers and brandish magic, I could see her heart wrench within her. She couldn't watch and she most certainly did not want to participate, but there she was nevertheless. I knew Sigyn blamed me for the position she was in but was too kind to truly tell me her feelings.
As she was preparing a meal for the crew, she watched out the main window to the training center. At that moment, Hela stood adjacent to the Black Widow and was being taught disarming tactics. As Sigyn's magic worked away at chopping vegetable and stirring broth, my wife stood steadfastly watching our daughter.
"She'll be alright," I assured her as I came behind her, gently laying a hand on the small of her back and a kiss on the cheek.
"Whether we like it or not, she's bred for this type of thing," I attempted softly, "Between you and I, she was bound to-"
"I know," she sighed, tearing her eyes away from Hela and facing me, "I had just hoped she would have the time to grow up before she had to fight."
"I understand," I said softly and I did. Truly, I understood her plight. This was hardly the position I wanted to be in, either. If everything could simply go my way, we would all be back in New Asgard safe and sound. However, as I realized Hela's determination to do good, I knew that as her father I had to mimic that desire. If I ever wanted to be a good father, and much less a good man, I would have to make decisions that extend beyond what I want to do. I had to make decisions regarding the common good, including the half of the world that had been snapped away.
"But," I said slowly as I tucked her golden blonde hair behind her ear, "You saw that this was her choice. You know she wouldn't do this to impress us, or the Avengers. And Valhalla knows damn well she would not do this to please Thor. Hela wanted to do this on her own volition. And I know I'm not one to talk but dear, what kind of parents would we be if we didn't at least try to set a good example for her? To show her that we can be heroes just like the rest of them."
"Because, Loki," she argued, "I'm not a hero. I know you want to be, and I don't blame you for it. I will stand by your side and I will stand by Hela's side doing my best to put on a strong face. But I'm not a hero, or a fighter, but I'm just a woman. I'm a mother and a wife, and sometimes a healer. But I'm no hero, I can't fight or do any of that."
With a flick of her hand all the chopping and stirring and cleaning of dishes around us halted.
"This is what I'm good for," she explained gesturing to the mess in the kitchen, "And it's what I like to do."
"But if you lead by example, imagine the feats Hela can achieve! She could become a one woman army, dear. She could be the strongest woman to ever live! But she must have a strong mother to help her do it!" I argued.
Immediately, a flip switched in Sigyn and not for the better. Her face fell and her brows furrowed.
"You don't think I'm strong?" she asked as her shoulders slumped.
Instantly, I realized my mistake.
"Dear, come on," I attempted poorly, taking her hands quickly, "This is all important, yes, I know. But, Hela is not a Goddess of Fidelity or...homemaking. You must be able to teach her in the ways of her own patronage. In ways of strength too."
Sigyn stopped for a moment as she took a step back, processing all that I had said.
"Loki," she warned with a sigh, "Before I get angry, I want you to take just a brief moment to see why what you just said is hurtful."
"Sigyn-"
"Hush," she said, "Take a minute."
I stood for a second with my mouth agape before I did as told. Taking a deep breath and a moment to collect myself, I thought over my words.
Sigyn, the Goddess of Fidelity, was a picture perfect mother and bride. That was what she excelled in and I knew it. She carried a motherly essence with her wherever she went, whether here in the Avenger's compound or back in New Asgard. But by the fierceness that lived behind her eyes I couldn't help but feel as though she could excel in strength and well as nobility. Sigyn had the capability, it was clear whenever she was angry that she was able to fight and fight well. But as I looked at her now, surrounded by pans and fresh baked goods complete with a bun atop her head and a dusty apron, I realized that Sigyn had a type of strength asides from the physical.
Sigyn was strong and yet I was claiming she was everything but. My bride had been through hell and back, and I knew this. She had been abused relentlessly by her mother, forced to grow up all too fast, then abandoned entirely by a version of myself only to be the prime subject of torture by my sister, this was of course all followed by watching me die horrifically. Then to top it all off, Sigyn was forced to become a refugeee, a single mother, and leader of an entire kingdom. Sigyn's ability to preserver was strength.
Through all this and more, I couldn't even fathom the lessons that she had been able to teach Hela. And yet there I was, questioning her ability to show our daughter what strength looked like.
As this all came together within my mind, I couldn't help but swoop Sigyn into my arms. I held her tight and peppered her head with kisses.
"I'm sorry," I said softly, pressing my forehead against hers, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I forgive you."
Then it hit me all over again, Sigyn's strength laid in her ability to forgive and her ability to be so steadfastly loyal. Both qualities I did not possess as made evident by my hatred for my brother and past betrayals. She was stronger than me in both of these aspects as well.
"I'm an asshole," I sighed.
To my surprise, this warranted a small giggle from Sigyn as she replied, "Yes, yes you are."
"How did I ever convince you to marry me," I asked as she walked away, continuing to prepare dinner.
"Don't try to flatter me," she warned with a small laugh, "I already said I forgive you. You can run off now."
"I'm serious," I insisted, leaning upon the counter beside her, "How did I do it? We're so different and yet you compliment me so well! And-"
"And I must say I attribute it mainly to your dashing good looks,"she interrupted before quickly glancing it down with a small smirk, "Among other reasons."
"You amaze me, you know that right?" I asked, pressing delicate kisses up her neck.
"Dear, the flattery must come to an end," Sigyn teased, "Or else my ego might become just as large as yours."
"God forbid we have that," Natasha said as she walked into the kitchen with Hela by her side.
"How was the sparring?" I asked as Hela sat across from us on a barstool.
She shrugged, "I dunno, I feel like I got beat but Nat says I did good."
"Nat?" Sigyn questioned with a raised brow, "You're on a first name basis with Miss. Romanoff?"
"As long as you keep cooking this delicious food and letting this cutie train with me, you can call me whatever ya like," Natasha said as she peered into the pot.
"Ugh, this smells amazing," she sighed, "You got real lucky with these two girls, Loki. Heaven knows you don't deserve it."
"Oh I know," I said with a chuckle, "Suppose it means Im not all that bad after all."
"Guess not," Natasha shrugged, "But let's not test it."
"Father," Hela called with a wide smile upon her lips, "Did you see me out there? I was able to complete a full body illusion of myself! Just like you."
"You did?" I said in shock, "My goodness, I wasn't able to do that until I was at least a decade or two older than you."
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes!" I replied, "You are a prodigy, Bunny. I'm endlessly proud of you."
Hela smiled as a small blush appeared across her cheeks. I could almost feel the wife smile upon Sigyn's lips as well, she was more than happy to hear my delight in our daughter.
"Ya know," Natasha said as she sat besides Hela, "You're not as awful of a father as I would have expected you to be. I gotta be missing some key detail here. Does he beat you guys? Emotionally abuse ya? What's the catch for the father of the year."
"No catch," Hela said, "He's just that good."
"Sigyn," Natasha said, "Any comment? Or we're you truly able to domestify the God of Pranks or whatever?"
"The Loki you see today is hardly a result of my doing," Sigyn said as she brought out bowls from the cupboard, "He's a good man. An even better father. But that's all due to him."
Natasha nodded, apparently surprised by Sigyn's response. I couldn't help but smile as she said this. Sigyn truly believed that I was good. And not only did she believe this but she believed that it was by my own actions and will. Maybe she's right, I thought as I looked upon my daughter, If I have it within me to make such a beautiful and kind daughter, maybe I have those virtues within myself too.
Maybe just maybe, I can be different from the man Mobius told me I was. Maybe I can really be good.