Naglakad agad palapit sa akin si Pierre nang makita niya kaming lumabas ng building ni Kuya Renz. I haven't seen him take a glance with his brother yet. Like he doesn't care about his presence.
"How was the meeting, baby?" he asked after getting my pouch from me.
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa tanong niya. I don't want to think about my parent's plan anymore. I'm already burned out. Gusto ko na lang magpahinga.
"It's okay. I learned a lot," simpleng sagot ko.
Nginitian niya ako bago kami naghawak ng kamay. I watched Pierre stare at me, not caring that Kuya Renz was watching us both.
"You should have heard her speech, Pierre. Ang galing niya."
I got awkward instead of being grateful for Kuya Renz's compliment. My eyes darted to Pierre, whose eyes became dark with his shoulders tensed. Then he looked at his brother and mocked him with a smirk.
"Lucky for you then."
I bit my lip, trying to suppress my emotion. Mag-aaway ba sila? Bakit ang tindi ng galit ni Pierre? I thought we fixed it over dinner.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Pierre para kunin ang atensyon niya. Samantalang tumingin naman ako kay Kuya Renz para magpaalam.
"We'll go home first, Kuya. Drive safely."
Tumango siya. His face was serious, just like Pierre's. Parehas silang nanatili ang tingin sa isa't isa.
"Go to the car, Dae. I'll be right behind you."
I wanted to interrupt Pierre. I don't think it's the right time for them to talk. Malaki pa ang galit niya at baka kung ano pa ang gawin niya sa kuya niya.
"Go, Dae," Pierre commanded with his hoarse voice.
I let out a frustrated sigh. Sinulyapan ko saglit si Kuya Renz bago humalik sa pisngi ni Pierre.
"I love you," I whispered.
He didn't move nor react. I felt a slight heartache because of that. I hugged myself and started to step away from them. Hindi pa ako nakalalayo ay napakinggan ko na ang baritono at galit na boses ni Pierre.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
I wanted to drag my feet and go back. I don't want them to fight. I drew in a long breath. When I got to the door, bumaling muna ako kina Pierre.
They're closer and speaking more quietly. I can see Pierre's back while Kuya Renz has his normal playful expression. I don't know what he answered Pierre. Did he fire back?
Binuksan ko ang pinto ng kotse at pumasok na. Naghintay ako ng halos sampung minuto bago nakita ang pagtalikod ni Pierre. He strode towards the car and left his brother.
Pagbukas ni Pierre ng pinto ay na-realized kong hindi maganda ang naging pagtatapos ng kanilang pag-uusap. His eyebrows are almost touching, not looking at me. Like it hurts him. What did they talk about? What did Kuya Renz say to him? Is he really not against my parents' plan?
Pierre rubbed his temples with his eyes closed. Parehas nakakuyom ang mga kamao. He's breathing hard. I gulped before speaking.
"It didn't go well, I suppose?" panghuhula ko.
He jerked his head to me. His expression was unreadable. I haven't seen him like this before. Why is he like this? Is it really true that he's insecure about his brother?
Hindi sumagot si Pierre. He started the engine and drove away. I saw Kuya Renz go to his car too. Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Pierre. I felt like he was back to his usual self, way before he confessed that he loved me. His silence made me feel suffocated. Ayaw ko nito.
"Pierre, talk to me," I forced him.
Seconds after, wala pa rin siyang sagot. I covered my eyes with my hands and frustratingly glared at Pierre.
"Please tell me what you have talked about. It didn't go well, tama ba? That's why you're like this."
Bumaling ako sa harap nang i-pull over niya ang kotse sa gilid. I looked at Pierre, puzzled. Pierre's breaths quickened then he laughed bitterly. Naguluhan ako sa reaksyon niya. He's so hurt.
"He's considering the plan."
I felt cold. Nasagot ang mga tanong na kanina ko pang iniisip. Why? Pierre massaged the back of his neck and harshly punched the dashboard. Napasigaw ako sa ginawa niya. Mas lalo lang akong nanlamig nang sa wakas ay tingnan niya ako. He leaned closer.
"Tell me honestly, were you considering it too?"
My neck heated. I scoffed, offended.
"Ano sa tingin mo? Do you think I want that plan? I don't love him, Pierre!"
"Answer me, Dae."
Pumikit ako nang mariin. Should I lie? I wanted to laugh at myself. I'm becoming evil. How could I?
"Y-Yes."
Halos hindi ako makahinga nang sagutin ko siya. Nanghina ako nang makita ang pagtulo ng luha sa mga mata niya. I was so stupid for hurting him. I then realized all along I knew the answer to my question. I don't deserve him.
"You're willing to give me up?" he asked barely above a whisper.
His face turned resentful and searching. I panted. I held my chest and gritted my teeth.
"I will never do that, Pierre. I considered it because I thought...I thought it was the only solution for me to escape my responsibility."
"That's not escaping; it's jailing yourself."
I shook my head and loomed closer. "No. I thought that if I married your brother, my parents wouldn't worry anymore. But I realized it now, babe. I can run it on my own."
He turned away from me, devastated. "It doesn't change the fact that you thought of agreeing to it."
He ran his hand through his hair, looked at me, and exclaimed, "You were one step closer to giving me up, Dae."
I held my breath. I closed my eyes, and tears flowed down my cheeks.
"Never did I agree with my parents to marry me off. Because I love you, I will never hurt you. And now..." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at mas tinitigan ako. "I'm begging you. Hold me and don't give me up, Dae."
It was Sunday, Pierre's birthday. Buo ang pamilya naming dalawa sa pag-attend ng misa. Masaya ako na kumpleto kami sa espesyal na araw na ito. Gusto kong maramdaman ni Pierre how much he deserves to be loved.
I did regret that Pierre and Kuya Renz aren't on good terms. As much as I wanted to talk to Kuya Renz, ayaw ko namang mas uminit pa ang dugo ni Pierre. I can't afford him getting mad at me again. Hindi pa nga kami gaanong okay. He's back with his usual self. Sasagot lang kapag tatanungin ko.
Binawi ko na lang 'yon sa regalong ibibigay ko sa kanya. I bought it myself yesterday after I spent my whole day again learning about the corporation. Hindi na ako nagpasama ng kahit na sino, I even remembered Franc's persistence in going with me. I didn't let him.
Pagkatapos ng misa ay sama-sama naming i-c-in-elebrate sa The Silent Diner ang birthday ni Pierre. It was an intimate birthday celebration with us in a reserved room. We got decorations and food.
We started by singing a happy birthday; even Pierre insisted he didn't want us to. I giggled when we finished, and Pierre's face was red from embarrassment.
His parents greeted him. Nagsimula kay Tito Rio.
"Pierre, we're proud of you. You've always been an obedient and caring son. Years ago, when I assigned you to be Dae's bodyguard, that was the best decision I ever made. I've constantly thought that you and Dae are perfect for each other. You were destined to her, Pierre. You've grown and become a man that has loyalty, compassion, dedication, and above all, love for your family and loved ones. Happy birthday, son. Cheers to more responsibilities."
We gave Tito a round of applause. It was heart-melting to hear their greetings to Pierre. He deserves it. It was Tita Cleafer's turn. Sinulyapan ko si Pierre sa tabi ko. His face is unwavering. He has a soft smile that's infectious too. Napapangiti na lang din ako para sa kanya.
After his family greeted him, it was my turn. Everyone's eyes were on me. I got nervous suddenly. Hindi ako prepared sa greetings ko. Bahala na. I just want him to feel that I love him so much.
I stood in front of everyone. I clasped my hands behind my back. I gave all of them a genuine smile before I fixed my eyes on Pierre.
"Happy birthday, Pierre. I can't express how much I'm grateful that you're my bodyguard because we've grown together as friends and family. Falling in love with you was the best thing that has happened in my life. You're a caring, thoughtful, supportive, protective, and lovable boyfriend. Every milestone and achievement that I have for a decade, I owe to you." Pinunasan ko ang luha sa kanang mata ko bago nagpatuloy, "When I leave for New York, always remember that I love you so much. Always remember that I will always be proud of what you will become. I'm always here for you, babe. Cheers."
Even though I don't deserve him wholly, I will do everything to earn him. He's my guard and partner for life.