Assuming you're mature you may skip to warnings (if you need to read them), otherwise go to the note. Of if you really don't care just skipping to the actual warnings works as well.
For people who will come at me and say "You're giving illegal stuff a positive light" so I can prove that's not the point: Hey so uh like mafias aren't cool don't join one just because people make fake stories on people finding love about it. I am attempting to not get Karens get mad at me for 'showing mafias in a positive attitude, as well as kidnapping, tax fraud, identity fraud, theft, arson, and many more'. This was also directed towards more mature audiences so you can't really blame me when a 9 year old comes and sees this and all of a sudden says "MOMMY CAN I JOIN A MAFIA!?". Also no, getting kidnapped does NOT result in being able to see George. You should know this.
Warnings: Swearing, sexual jokes, sexual comments, quackbur (wont be included as much in further chapters) Edit: <----- That was a huge lie I'm sorry but quackbur is a big factor in this story as you proceed so uh
{Note: Unless you couldn't tell already, basically all bottoms are tops and all tops are bottoms. Switchs, I mean obviously, stay the same. Also if you couldn't tell from reading the first two sentences, there are ships. Main ships included in this chapter are Georgewastaken, Karlnap, and suggestive Quackbur. [Quackbur is a switch ship (my opinion) as both Quackity and Wilbur seem like bottoms in the actual smp. As well as Skephalo, which is barely included, since people will start arguments over who is top.]}
!ALSO NOTE THAT BRUNET IS THE MALE VERSION OF BRUNETTE BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL ATTEMPT TO CORRECT ME ON THIS!
If you didn't know that, hey you just learned something new <3
EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS IS FROM 21-30 (obviously the minors will stay as 17, with Ranboo and Tubbo as the exception at 18.), NO UNDERAGE SEXUAL STUFF. AND IM LOOKING AT YOU MR. TOUCHY TOUCHY (<- if you know the reference then you know.)
Extern POV:
There he was, all alone. It was raining, and not only that but the random male (like any human) did not expect it to rain, therefore he did not bring his umbrella.
"Goddammit.." The male sighed. He was let out from work late, resulting in him standing out in the cold rain alone under one of those tiny roofs above the mid-section in front of buildings. His boss hated him for no specific reason. 'Maybe it's because of my ugly ass face, like everyone else thinks.' The male thought to himself. He would get ridiculed for many different things, but the male never knew why. He just assumed it was his face for no particular reason.
"Pffft, Clay?" A brunet said out of nowhere to, well obviously, Clay.
"Darryl? You left like an hour ago, why are you still here?" Clay replied. Knowing that he wasn't alone, his face slightly lit up at the acquaintance with Darryl.
"Oh, well, the usual. Za- I mean, Boss wanted me to stay behind for a little." Darryl made an attempt to cover the fact he knew their boss' name, but it really sucked.
"What for?" Clay said, in an attempt to act like he was okay. He also noticed Darryl had an umbrella with him, making Clay envious in an instant.
"I told him I was taller, and even though its obvious I am he wanted to measure each other and see who's taller." Darryl replied with a laugh. He checked his watch right after, it was 10:03 p.m, and Darryl refused to be more late than he already was (since apparently he was supposed to be there at 10). "Here, take my umbrella. You look like you need it more than I do." And with that, Darryl went inside the 69 story building and tossed his umbrella to Clay.
"Thanks, you're a saint!" Clay yelled back. He was truly grateful for the umbrella, but then it hit him. 'why does this place have 69 stories?' Intrigued, Clay peaked in to where the elevators were located, revealing a huge '69' above the elevator indicating where the elevator was headed.
Search up 'what does the number 69 mean', and you'll understand
Clay couldn't help but laugh. Was his co-worker really about to sleep with the one and only boss? Chuckling to mainly himself, he put the umbrella up and started to walk to where the apartment complex was. It was a peaceful walk, just him, the rain, his shallow breaths, and the obnoxious police sirens. Of course, he couldn't go one day without hearing those annoying fucking sirens. 'Why do they chase after someone everyday? Can it not just be on days I'm not trying to have peace?' But sadly, no. They blare out everyday, usually at night.
"How have the police not have fucking caught these bastards yet? It's the twentie- MMMMMMPPPHHH- MMMMMMMMM-!!"
Random!Male POV:
"Hmmm, do you think he knows why now, Sir?" One of my workers said. That particular brunet was named Karl. Codename: Network. He was one of my... better workers, you could say.
"Well, obviously not dipshit! We haven't even shown him our easiest yet!" And that was Nick. Codename: Sapnap. I could easily define him as one of our, well, we'll say "less smarter" decisions..
"Haha." a male said sarcastically. He turned to me. "You got a cute one, Señor~. What do you plan on doing with him?" Lastly, Alex. Codename: Quackity. He was our best. Odd though, considering he was 1 step away from graduating law school but decided to drop out and join us instead.
"Nice, nice, but, can you all SHUT UP!?" I practically yelled. We were tying Blondie here to one of the chairs in our HQ basement.
"Sorry, Sir." Karl replied sheepishly.
"Lo siento~!" Alex said more teasingly than sorrowful.
I sighed, "Alex, can I speak to you for a moment?"
"Okay?" Alex came over to me while the other two were getting the investigation set up. I motioned him to follow me and walked up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the basement, where a long hallway lived. My office was down at the very back.
"Well- so.. Are you executioning me? Firing me? Or is it a job only I can handle~?" Alex said curiously. He had this thing where somewhere in longer sentences he would make one word unnecessarily long and flirtatious, though he knew none of us saw it that way. He planned on changing that, I could tell. Or, well, hoped.
I looked through my pocket and pulled out the key to my office, unlocked it, and stepped inside. Again, motioning Alex to follow me. He went into the room and I locked the door behind him. I could see how nervous Alex was just looking at his eyes. I was impressed he was able to keep such a stoic face the whole time. This was something I've always noticed about him. He would get hurt or you could see the evident hardships hes been through from his eyes and he just keeps a stoic face. I mean to ask him about that, but not now.
"So, Alex, I have a very important job for you." I deadpanned.
"Yeah- what is it?" He replied. Did I ever mention how innocent he could make himself look in a split of a second? That's part of the reason he's one of our best. It also refers to that's what this arsehole is doing right now..
"Y'know our rivals? The leader wants to see if he can make peace, and since you are our best and I am busy, I want you to go see them." I informed. I wasn't really busy, but the tension between the rival mafia leader and Alex was very interesting and hilarious, so why not send him instead?
"Hey but- you know I hate their leader! I'd literally stab him 420 times if I could.." Alex spat, still having a sense of humor in him.
"Yeah yeah, go have him rail you while you're at it." I'm sorry, but I had to. Seeing the shorty turn into an overly red tomato was hilarious.
"Goddamn you, George.." Alex whispered underneath his breath. I could hear it, of course. Me having to have perfect hearing and all to hear distant enemies including the police. I decided to let it go, as I knew Alex would probably go and get railed and he'd have enough on his mind. Enough probably meaning nothing.
*Epic phone ringtone sounds brought to you by ONRUSH SILHOUETTE MYTHS!!! (look at synonyms for those words if you don't get the joke)*
I picked up the phone, knowing it could either be the rival mafia, Nick, or Karl. All the phones were connected to phones from the rival mafia or the phones maintained in the building I was already in.
"Hello? George speaking." I said through the phone.
"Yeah, okay whatever no duh. So uh- problem." Nick could be heard through the other line.
"What is it?" I said more deadpan than questionably.
"Right.. Alex's 'cute boy' woke up." Nick replied.
"Goddamn- did we not give him enough drugs!?" Alex said, loud enough for it to pick up on the phone, more to himself than anyone.
Extern POV:
George came out of his office, a flushed Alex from before still following. They rushed downstairs and into the room where the kidnapped male was kept.
"Oh, you made it, 404 Sir." Karl said. George and everyone in the group knew what he was doing. They do this to be seen as intimidating rather than hilarious or comedical. I'm sure you already got the former hint and know the kidnapped male is Clay so we'll call him that in the 'Extern POV'. Clay could definitely agree when they say what they do is intimidating, even though it was definitely so original. Clay was still in shock, so he was just sat there as the mafia gang checked security for what Clay estimated to be the 5096 time this week.
"Right, Network we're gonna need you to be cashier again. Quackity, I gave you your job, and Sapnap.. Sapnap just stay here and watch, I don't have any uses for you until its time to throw out the trash." George straight up commanded. Karl and Alex were trying their best to stifle their laughs while Nick just glared at George as he sat in the spare sofa in the corner.
"MMMMMMMph.!? Mmmmmmmmphhhh.." Clay- well, 'attempted?' to say words, but just let out inaudible muffles. The only audible thing he said couldn't even count, as it was a groan.
"Shhhhhhh.. Just cooperate and I'll take off the gag." George cooed to Clay. George took the gag off, revealing Clay's pink lips. You could see that the poor guy came back in his shock from before, as he said nothing, kept the same face, and just stood still. "Would you be so kind and care to tell me what your name is?" Nick held a gun towards Clay's head in response to what George had said.
Clay obviously noticed, as he replied with a hesitated "Cl-Clay.."
"Such a lovely name. Now, do you know why we kidnapped you?" George said, putting more emotion on the last part. Clay just simply shook his head in the slightest.
"Well, a little birdie told me you work for the FBI. Now, is that true?" George made sure to try his best to rephrase his questions to be answered by nodding or shaking your head. He didn't know why, but the boy seemed.. interesting? As if he could be more useful then what was first intended. Clay nodded his head at the question, still a bit shaken up.
"Well, I'm willing to spare your life if you are willing to be a spy for us. Of course, we would need to trust you first, so you'd have to stay here for the next 2-3 months." George said calmly, watching to see any signs of consideration from Clay's face and eyes. Of course, it was an empty threat. George planned on keeping him, whatever his answer was.
Clay didn't know how to feel. He was just kidnapped, met some strange mafia gang, and now the leader suddenly dropped an information bomb on him. He couldn't feel reassured in the slightest, as his family lived in Florida and he was staying at England meaning no one would know he was gone. You may say he still has work, but they wouldn't know until Monday since he had Saturday and Sunday off (It was Friday). So what should he do?
Extern POV:
'Goddammit, George. He knows how much I hate the rival mafia's leader.' Alex thought to himself. He really did just hate the other mafia leader. Why did George want them together?
Alex was walking up to the small and peaceful cafe the rival mafia decided to meet up. It was less suspicious, y'know?
"He didn't make it, huh?" The rival mafia leader said as Alex was walking towards the table. Alex of course understood what the leader meant because it was a way of hiding their real reason. 'Oh well, I'll have to rack my brain for codewords now.' Alex sighed to himself.
"Yeah.. he uh- had to meet one of his students for bad behavior." Alex replied. He could've done better, and he knew that. It was just the first thing that came to mind.
Alex took his seat opposite of the two from the rival mafia. The place was nice. It was a quiet, peaceful, and almost everything their basement floors were not. Their table was in the corner and a huge window was to the left of them, exposing innocent people just minding their own business and the beautiful night sky. Alex was quite fond of this place, actually. Planned on going here again someday.
"Happens to the best of us." The blond kid next to him replied with a smile.
"Hey- aren't you a little young to be a teacher?" Alex said, being careful with the words he used.
"Oh, well.. he's my brother. He's actually really talented in the education industry which is why he was accepted to be a teacher at the school." The mafia leader said with a suspicious looking grin.
"Hey, do you mind taking us to your place instead? This place is nice and all, but people are staring." Alex wasn't lying. People were mainly staring at him and the blondie because they seemed too young to be teaching at a school, let alone what Alex was wearing. Alex came in all black, which you would THINK it wouldn't attract attention. Well, it did.
The mafia leader must've noticed as well, as he replied with a, "Sure, follow me." and got up from their little table corner.
Alex having no other choice just followed.
Extern POV:
Clay was in a surprisingly clean room, despite being in a mafia headquarters. He still didn't know what he'd do for 1-2 months, as George said before. He just hoped work would find out he's missing (due to not being there for work) and the FBI would notice that he wasn't frequently sending information like usual.
But who was he kidding? His work treated him like garbage, apart from his favorite co-workers, and the FBI was huge. They probably wouldn't even notice until they realize they're losing 0.001% of the information they usually got.
*knock knock sounds sponsored by Alec Benjamin ;)*
"Oh, uh.. come in?" Clay hesitantly spoke. He was facing the wall, still pondering on why he was here when he turned around and was greeted by George's face extremely close, might I add.
"Well, with you joining us and all, we need you to have a codename we can call you when your little 'friends' come asking everyone 'Where's Clay?'" George said. He wasn't really trying at all to be intimidating, but boy was Clay still intimidated. But, to be fair, he was just kidnapped like 2/3 hours ago.
"Oh! I got it, Dream?" George answered to his own statement. He personally thought he said it too enthusiastically, but to Clay, it just sounded like a normal intimidating voice. Clay just nodded. Can you blame him? He can't really talk and be able to get along with his kidnappers, especially not if it's only been 2/3 hours.
"U-uhm.. Pardon me, sir, but I don't really know you or anyone else's names or even their codenames.." Yep. That was Clay's way of attempting to start a conversation. Lame, he knows.
George sighed before yelling, "SAPNAP, GET YOUR FATASS UP HERE!" There could be footsteps heard as Sapnap came up to the 1st floor of the basement.
"Did Clay escape or something?" Nick said as he was approaching Clay's door.
"No, he just wants to know you and the gang's names and codenames." George replied nonchalantly. A sigh came out of Nick's mouth meanwhile George was leaving Clay to Nick and exiting Clay's room.
"Alright, well.. There's George, the guy that was just here. He's the boss and his codename is 404. There's me, I'm Nick and the codename is Sapnap. Karl was the guy who got the privilege of being cashier for the thirtieth time, codename Network. The shorty boy is Alex and his codename is Quackity. Good? Good." Sapnap said, not letting Clay speak a word.
"How come you're shorter than me?" Clay replied. What can you say? If someone couldn't care less about telling you crucial information, wouldn't you not care about telling them unnecessary but hilarious insults?
Sapnap only replied with a middle finger and left the room, leaving Clay quite proud of himself because he was able to insult one of his kidnappers.
Extern POV:
"Goddamn. This place is almost as big as ours." Alex said while taking in the view. They were at the rival mafia's base. The place was pretty good, had some flaws every now and then, but overall pretty good.
The rival mafia leader replied with a satisfactory hum and said, "Let's discuss my offer now, shall we?"
Alex replied with a hum. The rival mafia leader motioned for his brother to go bother someone else as he walked to his office.
"Well, I can't have you walking into my office without knowing your name. What is it?" The guy said with an oddly bright smile.
"O-oh.. well-" Alex hesitated. He didn't know if he was to say his name or codename.
"Right, sorry. Of course you guys would have codenames as well. I'd like both. I'll tell you mine after. Deal?" The rival mafia leader said, studying Alex's face while doing so. He couldn't just ask for one, because Alex could switch them if he wanted to.
Alex nodded and replied, "Alex.. a-and Quackity." He hated himself for stuttering midway, but he couldn't help it. He was trying his best to not show the man his hatred for him.
"Don't have to be shy, damn. I'm Wilbur but the codename is Soot. Odd codename, I know. My brothers picked it out and I couldn't really refuse." Wilbur said, trying his best to start the beginning of a 'friendship'.
Wilbur invited Alex into his office while motioning with his hands to take a seat.
"I have a proposal.." Wilbur said mysteriously.
"Yes, I'd love to marry you." Alex instinctively said.
This sucked ass but now I have 2 stories for you to cringe while reading
that's improvement
anyways just a warning I won't be updating as much because school yk so uH-
Whatever at least I did something :')
Btw if you couldn't already tell from what I said at the top:
tops = bottoms in this story
bottoms = tops in this story
switches = switches
minors = minors unless its Tubbo and Ranboo - still considered minors though