appreciation moment for the minecraft ending poem because wowza does my heart hurt rn
ok anyways this is bonding/filler chapter i promise it's getting better oopsies oopsies
clay's wheeze echoed in her ears loudly as she died for the eleventh time, due to the endermen that plagued the barren wasteland. "you're such an idiot."
she scowled. "i didn't want to wear the pumpkin head, it makes it even harder to see."
"but you're not supposed to look at the endermen! just hit the end crystals."
"not all of us are as good as you when it comes to that, clay," she retorted, genuinely becoming frustrated. she'd gotten out of the ice-cold bath for this, and clay wouldn't stop pushing her buttons. iris suspected that he knew something was going on with her and he was just trying to get a rise out of her just to get her to feel something, to say something, or to mean something.
"here, here, here," clay said, flying around the world and destroying some of the crystals for her. "now kill the dragon, but only when it comes to perch on this little bedrock thing."
"it looks like a dick."
clay wheezed. "you have no verbal filter." she didn't say anything, hitting the dragon with her axe and jumping at the same time, watching the little bar at the top go down one by one.
clay cleared his throat over the discord call, and she knew that he was about to try to make conversation. "so, uh..."
"there we go," she interrupted, hitting the dragon a few more times before it disappeared and the monster started fracturing into purple pieces of light. it rained xp and she ran around to collect all of it, more because of the little jingly sounds it made when she levelled up. clay's skin was rather cute, it being a pixelated, blond-haired boy with a lime green jacket and white pants. odd, and the colors kind of clashed, but she couldn't judge.
"what now?" she asked. he gave her the instructions to jump through the portal, but click through the minecraft end credits. "why should i skip it?"
"it's just half an hour of poetry, basically," clay responded. she hadn't skipped it yet, eyes skimming over the words as they slowly went down her screen.
"It can read our thoughts," iris read. "that doesn't matter. it thinks we are part of the game. and the next line is, i like this player. it played well. it did not give up." her heart started becoming heavy. all because of a few pixelated words from a video game. god, she was soft. she blamed it on the fact it was so late at night, and that the day with rowan earlier had been exhausting.
"you don't have to read it all, iris," clay laughed quietly. feeling like he was impatient, she skipped through it all. but their call didn't end there. she stopped sharing her screen as they descended into silence, and she pulled up youtube to watch a whole recording of the words that appeared. "so, um... rye, how was your day?"
"uneventful," she replied. "rowan's taking me to his brother's game tomorrow, unfortunately, because it's the seniors' last game. i don't really want to go, but i know it'll mean a lot to trevor."
does it know that we love it? that the universe is kind? / sometimes, through the noise of its thought, it hears the universe, yes. / but there are times it is sad, in the long dream.
"nice." she could hear his typing through his mic, the little green discord bubble light up green. "so are you and rowan, like... becoming official?"
"i don't know," she murmured. "there was that one night, but... he hasn't exactly asked me out on a date. and i haven't really asked what we are. i'm not sure i even want to know."
"but you want to date him, right?"
"yeah, of course." it tasted like a lie.
sometimes i want to tell them of their importance to the universe. sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, i want to help them to speak the word they fear.
"maybe you should ask h—"
"why is the end credits poem so sad?" she blurted. clay blinked.
"what part are you at?"
she paused the video, and her heart had never felt this heavy before. she quoted, "'take a breath, now. take another. feel air in your lungs. let your limbs return. yes, move your fingers. have a body again, under gravity, in air. respawn in the long dream. there you are. your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things.'" she almost stopped breathing. "'as though we were separate things.'"
she couldn't see it, but on the other side of the phone call, clay looked away from his computer, the blue light cascading across his soft features, the only light in the room. a soft smile danced on his lips as he listened to iris read the poem out loud, and he could hear the breathlessness and the curiosity and the heartache. she was struggling, he knew that. and he knew that neither of them understood why they were genuinely considering moving in together, or how they were strangers yet knew each other so well.
"and the player awoke," iris continued, her voice growing tighter, "from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream. and the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love. you are the player. the story. the program. the human. made from nothing but milk and love."
"it really is beautiful," clay murmured quietly, closing out all of his tabs and bringing up twitter. he began to write:
dream | @/dreamsecretclub
minecraft ending poem sad :( = number girl sad :( = me sad :(
he closed that tab, listening to iris's voice floating through the phone screen.
"and the universe said i love you,
"and the universe said you are stronger than you know,
"and the universe said you are daylight, and the universe said you are the night, and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you, and the universe said the light you seek is within you, and the universe said you are not alone—" her voice broke for a second, "—and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code."
clay whispered at the same time she spoke so that they read in unison, "and the universe said i love you, because you are love."
"and the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. the player began a new dream. and the player dreamed again, dreamed better. and the player was the universe."
"and the player was love."
"you are the player," iris breathed. "wake up."
again, that silence, but it was much heavier this time.
"are you okay?" clay asked, his voice cleaving the silence between them. it had to be after three in the morning as they spoke, hushed whispers. "you've been off."
"i'm fine," she replied, running around the minecraft world and beginning to do things she hadn't bothered to do before, seeing as most of her focus had been towards simply defeating the ender dragon. "there's a lot going on."
"talk to me about it."
"why?"
he chased her in creative mode, spawning a bunch of cats and axolotls, her favorite animals in the game. "because i want to hear what's going on."
she scoffed. "you're such an idiot."
"only for you."
she rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see. "it's really nothing new. money's tight, so i've become a charity case. i feel guilty for complaining about it though, because you offer to pay rent or let me crash at your place, but it's just so overwhelming i can't shut up about it."
"well," he murmured, "you were right about me offering you to crash here."
"yes, but why? for all i know, you can be a secret celebrity, or a coke addict, or your family is part of the mafia. i just don't understand why you're willing to accept a new roommate. besides, didn't you say you have a roommate? is he on board with the idea?"
"what can i say? i'm a risk taker." the seriousness in his voice told her that he wasn't kidding around. "i've run the risks in my head millions of times, iris. it's a lot of work for you, too, considering you'll basically have to move out. but i know you won't be here all of the time; i know you have classes, so... once you get back on your feet, we can work things out. for now, just let me be a good samaritan."
"you're so eager to get me in your house, huh."
"what can i say?" he repeated, the smug smile in his voice audible. "it's almost like i like you or something."
"ooooh? little piss-baby has a crush?"
his voice was laced with sarcasm but it had her heart beating faster and her cheeks reddening anyways. "iris, i am so unbelievably in love with you. do your shoes need shining? does your hand need holding? does your hair need braiding? does—"
"you're a literal idiot." fuck. she was practically twirling a piece of hair around her finger and blushing at his words. "make me a contract and i'll think about it."
he perked up. "really?"
she paused, confused. "i mean, only if you were one-hundred percent sure—"
"absolutely. i'll draw up the document right now. just you wait."
she rolled her eyes. "rowan's going to have a field day."
"how is he doing, by the way?" clay asked, right as iris's phone buzzed with a text message.
"he's fine," iris replied as she read the message. "i think i'm going to ask him where we stand in terms of relationship-status tomorrow at the game."
"good luck with that." he said it genuinely.
gogy
tell pissbaby to get on discord
rye
discord?
gogy
asap
rye
it almost sounds like you and him
are uh... you know..... considering
how desperate you are for his attention ;)
gogy
you have no idea
iris covered her giggle with a hand. "rowan's fine. at the moment, however, george is begging for your attention on discord."
clay muttered something under his breath, something like "clockbarker", and she heard his keyboard click as he typed something aggressively.
sap
you never told us how that
night with rowan went ;)
iris
a lady doesn't kiss and tell
sap
ok but
i need to know.
for scientific purposes
iris
if ur interested in him just say that
sap
now i've kissed the homies
goodnight but i do not swing that way
iris
suit yourself. he'd cuss you out
first time you meet but
he would've liked you
sap
is he like— wait, is he—
iris
it's okay, spell it out slowly.
sound it out, u got this
sap
nvm i don't want to know anymore
iris
good bc he probably wouldn't
be into you anyways
sap
i'm offended but at the same time i'm not
iris
🙄🙄 ANYWAYS
why are you curious
sap
bc clay told me you might be
visiting ;) and i need to know if
i'm gonna hear cheeks clapping at
two in the morning
iris
it'd probably be 12am
sap
even worse
iris
k bye i'm gonna clap cheeks w ur roommate
sap
WHAT
iris
i meant ur mom
sap
W H A T
iris
both at the same time. alr bye bye
sap
i'd say have fun but i'm sure you will regardless
iris
and don't you know it ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTE
PINKY PROMISE IT GETS BETTER EHEHEHHEE
guys guys pssssst i have a really important question 🙋♀️
what's ur favorite color
(mine's blue but like the baby blue or dusty blue)
this bitch
OK OK UPLOADING NEXT CHAP SOON SOON CUZ THIS WAS A FILLER AND I FEEL BAD