3 years had gone by soo fast, almost too fast. Being a forced retired shinobi now, you had gone into the family buisness after your recovery.. Selling baked goods along with your mother. Your chakra network had been severly damaged around a year ago, which had you to give up on the shinobi life. You didn't mind, at least after you got used to the whole civillian life that you were living.. The one who seemed to taking it harder than you were your boyfriend.. Kakashi, that you had been in a relationship for around 3 years..
After the accident he had changed alot.. And not in a good way. If people had known about you two they would have noticed aswell, but since your relationship had been private from the start you were left alone to notice the changes. He used to come around during the recovery when he had time, but now you had only seen him in the streets, him ignoring everyone as usual or having the cold stare that he usually had whenever anyone tried to talk to him. He had been rather colder than usual...
It was just one of the regular early mornings when you had gotten to the bakery around 4 am do get it ready for the day, that you saw him on the roof in full anbu gear. It was unusual seeing him around the village like that, which meant he were about to go on a mission, just got home or in the middle of one. Neither really made sence since he actually made his presence known. You didn't know why he was acting like that, but when he didn't move from the rooftop and kept staring at you throught the bakery window you waved at him, gesturing for him to come inside. If he had the time to stare at you for a long period of time while you were working, then he would have the time to actually come by and say hi.
As soon as you had vawed to the masked ninja he dissapeared, making you frown a bit before just conntinuing your work. Around 8 am your mother came in to take over. "Y/N, Did you check the notes for today?" She were going throught the calendar on the desk with a frown on her face. "No, is there something important coming up mother?" You washed your hands and dried them before walking over to the woman. "The baking trip to the land of grass... It is next week" She pointed at the red marks in the book and sighed. "Apperantly we have to cancel this year.. The roads are more unsafe than ever after what I got from your father" It was a yearly thing, some bakeries met up in one of the smaller countries for a market, normally your mother went each year since she loved that stuff.
"It is not uncommon to hire shinobi assistanse on journeys mother... The worst out there for people like us would be robbers anyway" You smiled, and got ready to leave. "Yeah, I can discuss it more with your father.. Maybe send you for a change, you are never out of the village anymore" You shaked your head as you picked up the baked goods that you couldn't sell and put it in your bag. "We have to see, a longer trip would be nice.. But it has been a long time since I was outside the gates."
She turned to look at you with her regular soft smile. "Think about it, maybe it will do you good.. Who knows, maybe you find a husband" the sentance made you cringe as you sighed. "mother, I am 25, still young and in no rush for that kind of thing" It was no secret that your mother wanted grandkids, apperantly she had to mention it all the time to make sure you knew. "You are not getting any younger either, Y/N... At least think about it" You just nodded before waving goodbye, ending the conversation there. You had not told your parents about Kakashi, that would only put unecessary pressue on him, which he was not ready for at all.
The week conntinued the same, you went in early to bake for the day, and Kakashi was standing on the rooftop looking throught the window. It started to become annoying, atleast when the man choosed to ignore you the rest of the time, and if he even aknowlegded you it was that cold stare of his. Maybe this trip were not the worst thing, getting away from the annoyence would be great.. Soo you decided to let your mother know that you were gonna go for her this year, and be the face of the store at the market. Your father had agreed to the whole thing as long as you hired shinobi escort and guards for the weekend, which you had no problems with doing offcourse.
You had put in the request with the Hokage, and signed it as a B rank. Since it could be robbers and those kind of things. All you had to do was to take some days off to prepare and wait for a team to get assigned to you from the Hokage. Since it was a market, you would need alot of stuff, and clothes for the occation. The knock on your door made you take your eyes off the mess on your bed as you walked over and opened the door, almost expecting your mother, but were met with a displeased silverhaired instead. "really, the land of grass? In a time like this?" Kakashi walked inside, and looked at you. "How did you know about that?"
You had not had the chance to tell him yet, since the few times you had seen his face he had been ignoring you. That was when you noticed the change in his attire.. The grey anbu vest was gone, aswell as the crop top underneath. He were wearing the regular jōnin outfit, which actually looked good on him. "why do you think? You asked for help for a B rank? After what happened last year?" And there it was, the glare of his and the tone of his voice didn't make it any better. "well hello to you too" you sighed and walked back to the bedroom to conntinue with the packing, having him following you for once. "I asked for a B rank because it can be robbers around, nothing else" You sighed and started to put things away. "soo since you are here then, it means someone you know got assigned too the mission?"
"Yes, I was.. Who else?" Your brows narrowed as you turned to look at him. "That don't make sense, Kakashi.. You are in the anbu.." You stopped when you noticed the change in his posture. "not anymore, I am going to have genins assigned to me.. But there is none available yet.. Soo regular missions it is" The way he pushed his hands in his pockets just confirmed he was not his usual self. "Ok, maybe thats good for you.. You have alot to teach the new genins afterall with your experince.. And if you are assigned to the market thing we can take it as a get away weekend?" You smiled, feeling this might be something he needed.
"no.. I want you to cancel.." It was blunt and short, a typichal command that a superiour would give those underneath them. "I will not cancel, I promised my mother and it helps the bakery... What is going on with you lately?" Your hands were on your hips as you watched him, trying to read him to figure him out. "Nothing, But all this for a stupid market.. You are only doing that career because you can't do what you really want to anymore, it is obious for most" That was the last straw, of all the things Kakashi could have said, that was low blow. "I Don't know who you are anymore.." You whispered. "I see you when we leave for the market" With that you just conntinued to pack, letting him leave without anymore words between you two.
When the day came you stood by the gate with your mom, her not even noticing how late Kakashi was since she was rambling. "now, remember.. You need to get right to baking when you get there, freshnes is the top priority! And keep that smile on your face, you never know" You rolled your eyes and sighed. "mother, I have it all under controll.." First then she noticed the ninja had arrived. "well, he seem to be able to protect the goods, oh and Y/N.. No fighting" You narrowed your brows. "and who am I suppose to fight?"
"you are your fathers daughter, you never need a reasion.. We won't have you scaring a potential husband would we?" You cringed at her words. "mother.." You warned, hating her constant mention of it. "You are 25 and single, at this point I won't have any grandbabies.. I allready had you when I was that age..maybe I should been harder with your father and have it arranged" You shaked your head. "See you in a few days.. And don't dare to even think that thought...." You just started walking, grabbing Kakashi's arm to make him move before your mother started to try something more. Before he was able to even give a snarky comment you put your hand up." one word, and I will fight you" You warned, not in a good mood. "too bad you can't in your condition" He muttered and removed your hands from his arm like you had burned him.
It went quiet between you after that, he still seemed to be wierd in the way he was acting.. Secound time he had brought up you obious flaws, which he knew would hurt..but this time you decided to ignore it. The last thing you needed was relationship drama. The walk would take the whole day, making you both arrive late at the village in the land of grass. You showed the ID for the market and had to explain and show papers on why you had a shinobi with you. Very typichal for events like this in a neutral village that didn't want trouble.. You followed to the appartment your mother had rented and sighed when you got inside. "Are you hungry, Kakashi?" You looked back at him as you placed your backpack down. He had been reading in his book the whole way here, and even started over at page 1 again.
"I find something, no need to wait up" He left before you even could answer, making you sigh. He had the days off, soo he could do what he wanted... But this was starting to get ridicolous. You found your room and got it ready before taking a shower.. You had a few things to buy before you could start to bake everything you needed for tomorrow. When all was ready you got your wallet, and walked out to check out the village. You were suprised to find most of the stores open this late.. One or two would be normal, but almost all was suprising. You found the store your mother had recomended and got the few things you missed before leaving. Everyone seemed happy and ready for the market, booths were allready up and people were out and about which made you smile a bit.
"ey, You are here for the market aren't you?" A man looking around the same age as you walked up as you nodded. "soo you are from the leaf? Stepping in for your mother this year I pressume?" He started to walk next to you. "Yes, you are here for the same reasion?" Small talk was not what you were in the mood for, but not being polite would be out of charachter. "Yeah, Booth next to yours, finally able to hold it myself this year since my father decided to retire... It is going to get busy, soo you should make sure you have enough" The man smiled. You stopoed outside the appartment building when you reached it and nodded. "I am well aware, but thank you... Maybe I buy something to taste tomorrow" You quickly exused yourself and walked up to the appartment and hurried inside with a deep sigh.
"found that husband?" You yelped as Kakashi was next to you, making you loose the bags. "don't you start too!" You groaned and grabbed the bags before walking to the kitchen. "When did you get back here? I thought you wanted to stay away from the boring baker?" You muttered as you started to place everything on the counter to get started. "I followed you when I saw you walking around, you of all know it is not safe to walk around at night in a unkown village" Kakashi followed behind, suddenly he was concerned. "I might not be a shinobi anymore, but I sure as hell know how to kick a mans butt if I need too" You grabbed the aproon and put it on as you found the bowls and all you needed. "really? Didn't look like that with the tall and handsome baker out there? Didn't know you choosed men after what career you are having" The way he could spat such words while staying calm and unfaced by what he was even saying started to not only hurt, but annoy you.
"Ok, Enough with this snarky behaviour of yours.. Either you are telling me whats going on with you, or you shut up about it until we get back to the village" You looked at him, watching his eye narrow as he thought about the options. "neither, I do as I please in my freetime."
"Then use your freetime everywhere else but the kitchen..." The last thing you needed was for the baking to get disturbed or filled with negative emotions. You didn't care if he decided to stand there, but the comments he was giving lately was too much. You ignored him for once as you started making everything you needed for tomorrow, knowing your mother used to be popular during the markets she went on. When you finally finnished everything it was almost 4 am and you sighed and looked at everything. You put the aproon down and walked to the bedroom before falling down on the bed and falling asleep.
You groaned as you woke up after just 3 hours. Hopefully the day would just go by quickly. You got up, took a shower and got dressed in the kimono your mother had told you to wear. When that was done you made sure your hair was ok aswell. You knocked on Kakashi's door, but there were no answers. Since he didn't respond you let him be.. Either he was still asleep or had left allready. You grabbed the boxes with the baked goods and decided to go to the booth early to get everything ready. You made sure everything was set up nicely and in order aswell as it was enough to last for the whole day. "Soo you are a early bird, as to be expected of us bakers" The man from yeasterday smiled from the booth next to you. "You can say that..just want to make sure this goes well" You admitted, and noticed the sign on his booth, and the name was familliar. Apperantly they always stood next to your mother when she sold things on theese markets, and she said they were a friendly family.
"Soo you brought shinobi with you I see, I heard the roads could be dangerous" You turned and noticed Kakashi standing close and you nodded. "Yeah, better safe than sorry.." It was calming knowing Kakashi was around, even if you two were not in the best place. "Yeah, some of the others could not come because of it.. It was a shame really.." You narrowed your brows and looked at the man. "It is, but maybe it calms down for next year" You looked back at Kakashi and waved at him, he took his time to walk over fully, but atleast he came. "Can you watch over the booth while I grab some tea? Please?" You whispered. "I rather get the tea instead.. " You just nodded and gave him your wallet. "Thank you" You smiled at him, happy that he were kind enough to do soo.
It was suprising to have kakashi staying close by the whole day, at least when he had the day off to do wathever. You started to close the booth for the day and made sure to take the boxes back to the appartment. "When was the last time you ate?" Kakashi opened the door for you as you went inside and placed the boxes on the counter. "I had some of the baked stuff earlier, but it has been busier than I thought it would be.. But thank you.. For staying today" He scoffed a bit and shaked his head. "I had nothing better to do.. And I didn't like the booth neightbour of yours, he seems suspicious" He muttered a response
"Yeah, no one is that overly polite, at least without a catch" You smiled and went to get changed, ready to get out of the kimono for the day and find something comfortable to wear. "are you gonna be angry with me for a long time, Kakashi?" You came back out when you were done and raised a brow as you watched him carefully. "It is kind of frustrating that a man has to talk with me to get your attention" It was not hard to put two and two togheter, he would not have stayed close if it hadn't been for the man in the booth next to you. "You think that is the only reasion?" You nodded, not caring about the annoyed tone in his voice. "I do.. And I also know you requested to take this mission instead of my old teammate.." You watched him tense a bit, thats how you knew you got him.
"You have been acting wierd for the past few months.. At least after I got out of the hospital and had to retire.." You had a feeling he didn't want to be with anyone who was civillian, that this might be the reasion. "Soo they told you?" Kakashi tilted his head as he looked over at you. "about this mission yes.. But he was happy to stay back home..I am just trying to understand whats going on.. If you want to end things you can, I won't hold it against you" You didn't have much to offer anymore anyway, atleast not for a shinobi like him.. "it is not that.. How could you even think that?" He straighten up a bit as he walked over carefully. "I'm just... I can't stand something like that happening again.. If My team had came sooner.. Maybe" You stopped him, knowing exactly where he was going. "Then it could have been you.. We were lucky your team showed up when you did.. We didn't even know the Anbu was going to back us up.. And we underestimated the rouges" You sighed, not liking the idea of what could have happened if he did show up sooner than what he did.
"I promised to keep you safe.. But I failed.. I know you wanted to become a jōnin leader and have genins.. It just feels wrong that I am the one getting it and not you" He sighed and looked away. Kakashi had never been good when it came to opening up, but at least he was trying when it mattered. "Don't think like that.. I am alive, and that is because of you... I think you will be a great teacher.. I missed you, you know?" Now when you thought about it the comments he made were not to go at you, but to point out too himself how he failed.. "I missed you too, I just can't stand not being able to be there when you need me.." You sighed and pulled him into a hug. "Thats why you were outside the bakery wasen't it?" You felt his arms wrap around you too as his mask tickled your cheek when he nodded. "Next time, just try to talk with me.. I don't like when you hold that inside.. It changes you" You cupped his cheek and looked up at him, knowing he had a darkness in him that could change the man within secounds. "I will try.." You smiled and kissed his masked lips, that was good enough for you. If he is willing to try to speak when he can, that would always be enough. "Lets go out and find something to eat.. The market is still open, and I know you wanted to see it?" He smiled a bit, making you smile aswell. God, how you had missed that smile.