Warning: self harm, mentions off suicide, and rape.
Don't forget to vote sweetheart ;)
~Juniper~
I already now that I have a hangover the minute I open my eyes. My head throbs as I stumble to the bathroom, I feel like I just got punched in the stomach, l try and not throw up but my try was unsuccessful. I wipe my mouth, standing from the floor and go to the sink immediately reaching for my razor. I take one of the balds out rinsing it under cold water, I place the cold metal on my wrist and in one fast movement I cut open my skin. I watch the blood drips from the slice, the red color is all I see now. I let out a sigh and relax letting the pain surge through me.
I don't cut to punish myself, i cut to feel, I cut to make sure I'm alive. But know I just do it because I'm addicted and sad all the time.
"Are you in there Juniper." Mia bangs on the door. I lean my back against the wall and slid down it. My heart in my throat stoping me from breathing normally.
"Ya" I grumble. She opens the door running over to me.
"Oh my god Juniper, I thought you stopped." she cooed. Mia knows that I self harm but doesn't really care.
"Well I didn't."
"Ok you don't have to be rude I'm not the one cutting your wrists."
What the fuck, that was mean.
"Just get out." I shout. Covering my face I hear her leave and I let the tears fall from my eyes. I have to get rid of the blood so it doesn't get on my clothes, I reach out a shaky hand and grab a towel. I apply pressure to the wound, I already now I stained the cloth. I manage to stand, I go into my room to get ready. first I take out a bandage from my bag and wrap it around my wrist.
I would need something with long sleeve so I grab a cardigan, a white bra and gray sweatpants.
I feel cozy.
I go into the kitchen and make some tea. Mia sits on the counter eating cereal.
"So what are you going to do today." I try and make conversation.
"Umm, I was thinking about going shopping...... do you want to come." I didn't really but I came to Italy with her and we haven't done much together.
"Sure I guess." I make myself a bowl of cereal and stand next to her. We don't talk we just eat in silence which I'm grateful for.
Mia was wearing a cream lace dress with her hair up in a ponytail.
She looked beautiful as always, I was always envious of her blue eyes and blonde hair and the way all the boys looked at her.
"You look nice." I complement her.
"Thanks." She smiles lightly at me.
"Are you ready to go." She asks as she hops of the counter.
"Mhm."
"Ok let's go."
We put on our shoes and go out the door. I don't remember much about last night but I do remember the last part of it where Gianni looked at me with those Forest green eyes and stroked my cheek sweetly, I remember the way it made my legs weak and made it hard to breath.
"June come on." Mia pulls me out of the car and drags me to a line up of outside stores, there are rows of white tents with tables under them with an array of items. A table with incense and crystals catches my eye.
"I'm going over there do you want to come." I ask Mia.
"Ummmm yeah no I'm going to look at the clothes, we will meet up later." She answers.
Well there goes hanging out together.
"Yeah ok that works." I go over to the tent and start to look through the items.
I find a rock that I find interesting and pay for it. Next I go to a clothing tent but the clothes are not the kind Mia likes. I always loved light colors and cute flowing things, not really preppy. I run my hand across a beige corset that has blue flowers on it.
"Can I get this please." I ask the lady that stood behind the counter.
"Of course, do you want the dress that goes with it." She replies. The women takes a white short dress with long sleeve of the hanger and hands it to me. It was a beautiful dress so I say yes and she rings it up then puts it in a bag.
I also find a see through wrap up shirt with embroidered flowers that I like a lot so I ask her if I could get that to and she puts that in the bag as well.
It was noon now and I still haven't had my coffee so I set of to go find some. I pass by a tent that had coffee grounds and coffee so I stop and went in.
"How can I help you amore." A young man maybe in his 30s asks me.
"Do you have coffee." Well no shit Juniper they have coffee. The man laughs.
"Do you want some to drink." He says.
"Yes please."
"Ok what kind."
"Just black." I say.
"Coming right up." He had a thick Italian accent like most of the people here, the only person that I've talked to here that doesn't have a really thick Italian accent is Gianni, he has one but it's subtle. Maybe he travels a lot he seems like the type of person to travel a lot.
The man hands me my coffee and I take out my money before I could give him the money someone behind me snatches my coffee. I spin around ready to beat someone's ass. Instead I see a smirking Gianni who is now handing that man some money.
"That's my coffee." I hiss.
"But I payed for it." He chuckles.
This is so rude.
"But he made it for me." I whine.
Gianni takes a long sip then gives me the coffee. The cup feels lighter.
"It's almost empty." I hit his arm playfully. He doesn't even flinch.
"What did you get." He nods his head in the direction of my bag. He then pushes me lightly out of the way so he can get his own coffee.
"I got a dress, a corset, a shirt and a rock."
Instead of drinking his coffee he steals my coffee again and hands me the one he just got. I guess we are trading.
"A rock or a crystal." He laughs. His laugh is deep and raspy. Sending chills through me.
"A crystal." I laugh along with him.
"Which one." He asks. I actually don't know I didn't ask.
"I don't know."
"Let me see." He walks over to a empty table and sets down his cup. I follow him instinctively and set my cup and bag down too. I pull out a little baggie with the crystal inside.
He takes it from my hand and examines it.
"It looks like Carnelian." He gives me back the crystal and I place it back in my bag.
"So what are you doing here." I ask as I take a sip of my coffee.
DAMN, this is good.
I let out a small noise of pleasure at the taste. Gianni moves slightly in his seat and clears his throat moving his hands from the table to his lap.
"Umm, I came to get coffee." He says not making eye contact with me.
"Yeah this is really good." I take another sip. He runs his hand through his dark hair and looks at me but not in the eye.
"You should get some grounds then." He suggests.
Good idea.
I quickly stand and run over to the booth. I pay for the grounds and go back to Gianni. He is now texting someone, he looks a little pissed of. I sit down and pack away the coffee grounds.
"Did you come here alone." He asks still not looking up from his phone.
Why, are you going to kidnap me?
"Are you going to kidnap me?" I squint my eyes at him. He chuckles and shakes his head.
"Yes I am." He jokes. My eyes widen, he looks up and sees this because he laughs throwing his head back.
"No I'm not, now did you come here alone?" He asks again.
"No I didn't I'm here with my friend." I answer.
"The blonde one."
How does he now.
"Yeah her." I say warily.
"Good." He utters.
"Actually I should go find her." I stand grabbing my bag. He stands to.
"Ok let's go." His words surprise me, I didn't think he would want to come. Maybe he likes her, I mean who wouldn't she's gorgeous.
We walk through the lines of tents talking about random things but nothing personal. I'm not good at talking about my personal life so I'm glad he never asked. He didn't talk about his personal life either and I didn't ask because maybe he had some shit going on.
I spot Mia looking at a rack of clothes, I call out to her and she turns around. Her mouth falls open slightly when she see's who is next to me.
"Gianni this is Mia, Mia this is Gianni." I introduce them to each other.
"H-hi." She stumbles over her words. Gianni doesn't answer he just nods to her. He seems more cold now then when he was talking to me. Maybe I said something that made him mad.
"So what did you get." I break the silence.
Mia pulls out some clothes from a brown paper bag. One of the items is a crop top that is see through and has flowers on it. The other item is a olive dress.
Mia and I are very different but also the same, we have the same style but hers is more....more pretty.
"Those are nice." I say with a smile.
"What did you get." She still doesn't look at me.
I pull out the things I got and show her them. She makes eye contact with me signaling to me that Gianni was no longer by my side. I use my prifrial vision to find him, I spot him looking at clothes. He touches a dress then looks me straight in the eye, he quickly walks over to me and I hear him speak.
"Amore." He says not quite a question.
"Mhm." I answer.
"I have to go." He puts his hand on my hip and guards me away from Mia. I look back at her, she looks jealous but she puts on a fake smile. He pulls out a cigarette and a pen.
What is he doing. I don't smoke.
He writes something on the paper then hands it to me. I look at the cigarette, it has a number on it. Is it his?
"What." I look up but he is no longer there.
I guess he wants me to call the number. I go back to Mia quickly tucking the cigarette way so she doesn't see it. I know prepared to get bombarded with questions.
"What, how, you, him." Mia says not completing any of the sentences.
"I don't know." I simply answer.
"But you, and him." She says the 'you' while looking me up and down but not in the good way.
Is she suggesting that we are a thing.
"No I just ran into him." I explain.
"Yeah, but he talked to you." I can't tell if she's trying to be rude.
I mean she's right I'm nothing, I'm not the type boys go for and I don't know why. I look pretty enough and I've got a good personality. I think it's because I don't talk to people that much.
"Whatever can we stop talking about it." I snap. My social battery running low.
"Ok fine let's go." She rolls her eyes and walks to the cab I called.
~
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