Chapter 13:
The next day I woke up extra early, we were scheduled to leave right after sunrise. Many Moroi lived separately from the humans; many also lived amongst them, and when shopping at their malls you had to go during their hours.
I walked quickly across the campus, not wanting to be late a day with Rose. As I neared the front gate I noticed I was the only one there. I leaned up against the iron fence waiting for the rest to show up. I was surprised I didn't have to wait long for Rose and the rest to show up.
"Headmistress Kirova thinks you've done well since coming back." I said the moment Rose was in earshot. I was stretching the truth, only a little.
"Aside from starting a fight in Mr. Nagy's class?" Rose asked looking up with hope in her eyes.
"She doesn't blame you for that. Not entirely." I lied. "I convinced her you need a break... and that you could use this as a training exercise."
"Training exercise?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice as well as a hint of disappointment.
I gave her a brief explanation as we walked out to meet the others going with us. Victor Dashkov, was there with his guardians, and Natalie practically barreled into him. He smiled and gave her a careful hug, one that ended when a coughing fit took over him. Natalie's eyes widened with concern as she waited for it to pass.
He claimed to be fine, as he led us towards the vans that we would be traveling in. My heart sank at the thought of his efforts to keep Natalie from worrying. But even he couldn't hide the fact that he was dying slowly and it was killing him.
We rode out the two-hour trip, the back windows of the van had tinted glass to filter the light and keep the worst of it away from the Moroi. Although, the little light that it allowed my human genes welcomed.
We had nine people in our group: Lissa, Victor, Natalie, Camille, Rose, me and three other guardians. Two out of the three were Victor's guardians. Which were named: Ben and Spiridon. Stan was the third guardian.
"Camille and Natalie don't have personal guardians yet." I explained to Rose when I noticed her watching the other guardians with curiosity. "They're both under the protection of their families' guardians. Since they are Academy students leaving campus, a school guardian accompanies them--Stan. I go because I'm Lissa's assigned guardian. Most girls her age wouldn't have a personal guardian yet, but circumstances make her unusual."
Rose sat in the back of the van with me and Spiridon. This was only because we needed to dispense guardian wisdom to her as part of the training exercise. Ben and Stan sat up front, while the others sat in the middle. Lissa and Victor talked to each other most of the way up; catching up on news. Camille, raised to be polite among older royals, smiled and nodded along. Natalie, on the other hand, looked left out and kept trying to shift her father's attention from Lissa, but despite her protests Victor's eyes never shifted from Lissa's.
Rose turned back towards me, breaking my gaze. "She's supposed to have two guardians. Princes and Princesses always do."
Spiridon was the same age as me, with spiky blond hair. He shifted slightly so he could get a better look at Rose. "Don't worry, she'll have plenty when the time comes. Dimitri's already one of them. Odds are you'll be one too. And that's why you're here today."
"The training part." She guessed. Her eyes were knowing as she pasted glances between us.
"Yep. You're going to be Dimitri's partner." Spiridon announced too loudly in the car.
A moment of silence fell. I pushed away the feelings that had started to bubble up in my chest. Rose's and my eyes met for a brief moment. Something flashed in her eyes that confused me, something along the lines of longing. I shook that thought away, it couldn't possibly be that.
"Guarding partner." I clarified. Not wanting her to get the wrong idea, I had to stop these feelings that had started between us.
"Yup." Spiridon agreed. Oblivious to the tension around him, he went on to explain how guardian pairs worked. Guardians were assigned to Moroi based on importance. Two was a common grouping. One guardian stayed close to the Moroi while the other stood back and kept an eye out. They were known as near and far guards.
"You'll probably always be a near guard." I told her. "You're female and the same age as the princess. You can stay close to her without attracting any attention."
"And I can't ever take my eyes off her." She noted. "Or you."
Spiridon laughed and elbowed me. "You've got a star student there. Did you give her a stake?"
Yeah she was a fast learning student. But not fast enough. "No. She's not ready." And she wasn't, there was still a lot that she had to learn, aside from combat.
"I would be if someone would show me how to use one." She argued. I knew she thought it was unfair considering that every guardian, including myself, in this van had a stake and a gun on their persons.
"More to it than just using the stake." I said, trying to calm her sudden anger down. "You've still got to subdue them. And you've got to bring yourself to kill them."
"Why wouldn't I kill them?" Her voice was rising in confusion and curiosity.
I knew what I was about to say may affect her life one day. She could easily die if she didn't master this rule. "Most Strigoi used to be Moroi who purposely turned. Sometimes they're Moroi or dhampirs turned by force. It doesn't matter. There's a strong chance you might know one of them. Could you kill someone you used to know?"
She took some time to consider this, her face lined with deep thought. Eventually she glanced back up at me. "I guess so. I'd have to, right? If it's them or Lissa..."
"You might still hesitate. And that hesitation could kill you. And her."
"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?" She looked up at me as if I held all the answers in the world. And right then and there I wish I did have that knowledge.
I decided to go with what I told myself before and after every kill. "You have to keep telling yourself that they aren't the same people you knew. They've become something dark and twisted. Something unnatural. You have to let go of attachments and do what's right. If they have any grain of their former selves left, they'll probably be grateful."
"Grateful for me killing them?" She asked her face full of confusion.
"If someone turned you into a Strigoi, what would you want?" I asked.
She looked at me, the same confusion in her eyes. She said nothing, so I pushed further.
"What would you want if you knew you were going to be converted into a Strigoi against your will? If you knew you would lose all sense of your old morals and understanding of what's right and wrong? If you knew you'd live the rest of your life--your immortal life--killing innocent people? What would you want?"
The van had grown silent by this point. Rose continued to stare at me. And it was then that I had realized why we had this attraction, good looks aside. She had taken becoming a guardian seriously, as I had, understanding all the life-and-death consequences. No one her age understood the things she did. Rose had a sense of how life and death and good and evil worked amongst each other, and so did I. Which was hard to grasp, even for guardians who were twice her age.
She and I might have to put our fun on hold. We might not be able to live the lives we wanted for ourselves. But that was the way it had to be. We understood each other, understood that we had others to protect. And making decisions like this one was part of that.
"If I became Strigoi... I'd want someone to kill me." She said, her voice rang through the van making me want to shiver at the thought of Rose lying dead on the floor. Strigoi or not.
"So would I." I said quietly. I could tell by looking into her eyes that she had the same flash of realization I'd just had, the same sense of connection.
"It reminds me of Mikhail hunting Sonya." Murmured Victor thoughtfully.
"Who are Mikhail and Sonya?" Asked Lissa.
Victor looked at her surprised. "Why, I thought you knew. Sonya Karp."
"Sonya Karp... you mean, Ms. Karp? What about her?" She looked back and forth between Rose and Victor.
"She... became Strigoi. By choice." Rose announced, avoiding her friends eyes.
It surprised me that she had known this. Many dhampirs and Moroi her age had no idea what happened to Sonya. Only the royals and some Moroi knew about it. All guardians were warned about Sonja for the fear of her hurting their charges.
"But I don't know who Mikhail is." Rose added.
"Mikhail Tanner." Said Spiridon.
"Oh. Guardian Tanner. He was here before we left." Rose's pretty face turned into a frown. "Why is he chasing Ms. Karp?"
"To kill her." I said flatly, this wasn't a topic I was fond about. "They were lovers."
I didn't mean to sound so cruel, but hunting down someone you loved wasn't right. If I were faced to do that, I didn't know if I could go on with the task. No matter how many Strigoi I had killed in my past, nothing would compare to hunting down my love and killing her. I quickly stole a glance at Rose but dismissed the thought before it could get to me.
Victor broke the silence that had fallen awkwardly in the van. "Perhaps its time to talk about something else. Today isn't a day to dwell on depressing topics."
We had finally arrived to the mall. Rose stuck to Lissa's side like glue. I silently praised her for that. She had worked so hard, and was doing so well. She had the commitment of a trained guardian. As she and Lissa went from one store to another Ben and I managed not to look like some creepy guys having a sudden interest in teenage girls. Victor and Spiridon stayed positioned with Rose and Lissa.
I focused on the surroundings, taking in the faces of nearby shoppers, making sure that they weren't Strigoi. Although they don't run around when the sun was up, but instincts ran too strong. I watched as Lissa and Rose went into a store. Rose came out with a black dress that was strapless and sleek, falling to about the knees. Closer observation told me that it was also clingy material. My fingers ached to touch that silk, to feel her smooth skin under that material. Great there goes my control, I thought, thanks Rose.
The day of shopping had finally ended as we all piled back into the van. Everyone had become silent, mainly from exhaustion. Our sleep schedules were all messed up from the daylight trip. Rose sat next to me, she leaned back and yawned, our arms touching, I tried to focus on something else rather than the feel of her skin against mine.
I was glad when she broke the silence. "So, I can't ever try on clothes again?" She asked quietly, aware of the others sleeping in the van.
"When you aren't on duty, you can. You can do it during your time off." I said trying my best to be as quiet as she.
"I don't ever want time off. I want to always take care of Lissa." I tried hard not to laugh at her loyalty. "Did you see the dress?"
I wasn't caught off guard by her change in subject. "I saw the dress."
"Did you like it?"
I didn't answer, afraid that if I did my mouth would betray me and say yes.
"Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?" She said taking my silence as an answer.
After a while I spoke barley above a whisper: "You'll endanger the whole school." Including myself I thought.
I could see the corner of her mouth turn up as she closed her eyes. I looked away then, glancing around, no one else was looking. So I looked back down at her. She looked so peaceful while she was sleeping. I stole glances in her direction the whole way home.
Her arm still touched mine. I felt a shiver go through her and I looked down, goose bumps had raised against her tan skin. Shrugging off my duster I draped it over her, like a blanket. Her head fell against my shoulder a minute later. I closed my eyes, and for once, I felt at peace. And I could pretend like it was a normal thing, and nothing was wrong with this.
To my disappointment the van stopped, her eyes fluttered open, I waited till she was fully awake and then climbed out, fully aware that Rose was on my heels.
"Back to prison." She announced as she fell in step with Lissa. I watched as she and Lissa talked. I heard Rose's laugh as she jumped up onto one of the wooden benches that were scattered all over the school. She jumped back down. And I couldn't help but chuckle as I watched her. She was so entertaining.
She hopped onto another bench. "Hey!" Spiridon called. "You're still on duty. No fun allowed up there." He laughed, his voice joking.
"No fun here!" She called back, "I swear--shit."
I had been watching her the whole time; she was up on the third bench, near the end of it. And was about to jump down from it but her foot wouldn't let her. The wood snapped under her body twisting it at a weird angle as she fell. I raced towards her, the other guardians in tow, in time to hear her ankle snap in two.
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