"Carrot top!" Those were the first two words Sorin Ackroyd Stryker ever spoke to me.
I was twelve and was on my back from getting reprimanded by Ms. Talia. Again.
Let's just say I was in a bad mood.
Ryn, my -let's be honest- only friend, was next to me as we walked to the outer ward where I liked to go to calm down.
He and I turned together to face the tanned boy with messy black hair that had called me. I'd never seen him before. Probably a soldier. I forced a pleasant smile, one even that stupid old bat would pass off as ladylike.
"I'm sorry. I must've misheard you," I told him, giving him one chance to fix his wording. Of course, it was better than some of the names people coughed behind my back or whispered, but today I was not in the mood to ignore it.
The boy only smiled cockily, making it more difficult not to pound his face into the floor. He took two steps forward. "I said, "Carrot top'," he repeated slowly as if I was stupid. "I'm hungry and I want you to make me something." Beside me, Ryn blew out a breath. He didn't say anything though.
"You want something, stable boy?" the boy snapped at Ryn, eyes flashing with anger, before turning back to me. "What are you waiting for? A bell?"
"No," I smiled. "I'm not a dog. I don't respond to bells. If you want me to do something for you, ask me nicely." The boy contemplated this. Something -curiosity, interest, surprise, something- flashed over his face.
"Do you want me to go grab the Head Maid?" He threatened, still smirking. This ass-
"Splendid," I spat through curled lips. "You can stop at the kitchen on your way over there. Good day," I said, taking Ryn's arm and pulling him back down the hall. We walked hastily away until the boy called out,
"Please." That word made me turn slightly. "Please will you go make me something?" I stared at him then and got a really good look. He was tall for his age of what I suspected was around fifteen. I could see the muscles poking from his shirt (he didn't wear a uniform) and his eyes were a deep hazel. His shoes were clean and his arm had bruises. If he was a soldier, I guessed they were from training.
I looked him up and down before telling him, "No," and walking away. He didn't come after me, neither did the Head Maid track me down.
I thought that was the last I'd see the boy, prayed it was.
I don't think I could've been more wrong.
Two months later. The Winter Ball.
I was standing in the corner, trying to hide my foot that tapped to the music. As I watched the royals and ambassadors and lords and ladies dance, I found myself desperately wanting to join them. This was the first year I was allowed to work the ball, and I had been ecstatic until I was pushed into this corner. My feet ached, and I was bored out of my mind.
"Having fun?" A voice asked. I turned to see the boy again. He was wearing basically the same thing I'd seen him in last time. Rolling my eyes, I tried to ignore him, but shuffling over, the boy went into my vision again. "You know, it's rude to ignore people."
I gave a heavy sigh. "You aren't supposed to be in here."
"But you're in here."
"I'm working."
"But it's a party."
"Doesn't change the fact that I have to work."
He smiled, amused with himself. "I snuck in."
My eyes widened slightly. "You what?!"
"I snuck in," he repeated. "They keep the East entrance very undermanned."
Scoffing, I said, "Well, go find someone else to bother."
He either ignored me or didn't hear me. "Let's dance."
"I'm sorry?"
"Let's-."
"No, I heard what you said. Are you crazy?"
"Maybe a little."
"I'll get in trouble."
"And I'll get caught." He stuck out a hand for me. I just stared at it. "Would you rather stand here all night looking miserable?" Again, I didn't take his hand.
"Try flowers next time. Girls like flowers," I said, only to get him away. To my surprise, the boy left without another word.
I was relieved until thirty minutes later, this asshole showed up again, this time with a single, white rose. He held it out for me. I just stared at him.
"Where did you get that?"
"Will you dance with me?"
I scoffed. "Do you ever stop?"
"Not really."
"What are the chances of you leaving?"
"Slim to none." Yet again, I didn't take his hand.
"I don't dance with people I don't know." Annoyingly, this didn't stop the boy.
"I'm Sorin Ackroyd Stryker- a soldier in training. I have a brother who is three years younger than I am. (I'm fourteen). My mom and dad are soldiers- both retired. My favorite color is blue. I enjoy training with the older boys. I hate school, and I fall asleep during Sunday service." He held the rose out further. "Will you dance with me?"
I tried to find any excuse not to, but the more I looked at him, at the same cocky grin I'd seen a few months before, I found I didn't want to. What was the harm in it, really? It was just one dance.
I smiled then, slowly, unbelieving. "Fine. One dance. And I hope you know I'm an awful dancer." Carefully, Sorin took the rose back, snapped the stem in half, and carefully placed the flower behind my ear, pushing my hair back with a strong hand. I noted the calluses.
My small, twelve-year-old heart skipped a beat. I was astounded at his boldness, but I'd read so many stories about love... I didn't mind. I had forgotten why I had once been mad at him.
"Don't worry. I'll catch you if you fall." Oh my god. Could I die from trying to contain a blush? Because this is not how I want to go...
That might be a lie.
He led me to the dancefloor, just to the edge. The music, a song I didn't know by name but knew it was popular in Ravaryn, was a good place between slow and fast. This was the first time I'd danced with another since I was young, but the memories came quickly. And then I was dancing with no control of my smile or my movements with a boy I just met and formally hated.
And it was amazing.
Sorin definitely knew what he was doing. I had no doubt he's done this before. He knew exactly when to spin me, his steps were graceful and light, the movements he guided me through were calculated. I found him smiling at me with a curiosity I didn't understand.
And by the time the song ended, we were both laughing and breathless. I had opened my mouth to say something, but there was a sharp voice I recognized all too well that cut me off.
"You insufferable child!" It hissed. I turned to find Ms. Talia -the head maid- storming over to us. Sorin began backing up, grabbing my arm.
"Run," he said. When I didn't move, he pulled me again. "Come on!" I turned and picked up the hem of my skirt to help as we ran. He was faster than me, but his grip on my arm stayed tight. We wove through the crowd, between couples dancing and around other workers.
"Come back here!" I heard her say, chasing after us but still attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible. People stared after us as we ran. A few even chuckled as they watched us disappear out of the ballroom and into the hall.
We ran for a second longer before Sorin pulled me into a dark linen closet and shut the door. He let go of me then and we both flattened ourselves against opposite walls, not even letting ourselves breathe, until the flat-footed steps of Ms. Talia passed.
When she did, both Sorin and I doubled over in laughter, having to rest our hands on our knees to keep ourselves upright.
"Did you see her face?!" Sorin chortled.
"Did you see the way she ran?!" I cackled.
Sorin tried to regain his composure. "That was the best thing I've ever seen." I gasped for a breath, trying to stand upright. Sorin began to open the door, peeking out. Once he made sure the coast was clear, he laughed again and walked out. I followed him.
We stayed there, facing each other for a moment.
There was laughing down the hall and a group of boys passed, stopping when they spotted us. Sorin smiled at them, then me. He took my hand, bowing deeply, and pressed my knuckles to his lips.
"Until next time, Carrot Top," he said, winking and jogging down to his friends.
"It's Vera!" I yelled after him, but he didn't seem to hear me. When he left with his friends, I found myself smiling.
_______________
That night, I was in the library with Ryn.
A book was open on my lap, but I wasn't reading it. With my head against the window, I was smiling out over the outer word.
"Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?" Ryn asked, standing and moving to the same windowsill as me, sitting across from me.
"What do you mean?" I responded, not looking at him. Still smiling.
"You're... happy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy you're happy, but what the hell?" I didn't respond to him. It was almost as if I didn't hear him. Ryn took his fingers and snapped them in my face. "Earth to Vera."
"Hm?" I finally turned to him. He paused, lips parting before a bright smile broke on his face.
"Who?"
I laughed, confused. "Who, what?"
"Who is it?! You're crushing on someone!"
I scoffed. "I am not!"
"You are too! You're blushing!" He pointed to my face. I slapped his hand away.
"Shut up!"
"Who is it?!"
"No one!"
Ryn sat back and folded his arms. "I'm not going to stop asking until you tell me." I ran my tongue over my teeth, trying to contain my smile.
"Fine." Ryn cocked a brow at me, smirking. "His name is Sorin Stryker. He's... a soldier."
Ryn shifted. "Mhm go on." I was beaming and anxiously picking at my nails.
"He's tall and muscular. He can dance, you know."
Now Ryn was smiling. "Do I know the mystery man?" I laughed.
"Um, well..." his smile dimmed.
"What?"
"You know a couple of months ago when I got in trouble with Ms. Talia?"
"You get in trouble with her every day. Be specific."
"Um. It was when I broke the vase?"
He paused, thinking. "The blue one or the gold one?"
"Gold."
"Oh, yeah. I remember. We were stopped by that asshole who called you-" he stopped suddenly. I watched as the realization struck him. "You have a crush on that asshole?"
"It's not a crush..."
"It's a crush."
"It's more of a..."
"Crush."
"Interest?"
"You're blushing again." I hit him with my book.
"I am not!" He laughed. I smiled, shaking my head and rolling my eyes as twelve-year-olds do.
Ryn settled then asked, "You really like him, do you?" I tried to stifle my spreading smile.
"We've only talked twice. I don't know. He probably doesn't even-."
"No." I glanced at him. "Don't do that to yourself. I bet he's thinking about you right now."
I was about to argue, but sucked on my bottom lip and asked instead, "You really think so?"
He smiled. "Of course. When have I ever been wrong?"
"Is that rhetorical or-"
"Shut up."
"No, no, because I can cite specific instances-" He kicked me and I kicked him back, both of us laughing and both of us happy -as happy as two twelve-year-olds could be.
Which, in my experience, is pretty damn happy.
___________________
I was in the kitchen, scrubbing extra plates and cultlaware for my little stunt in the ballroom. It had been three days since the ball. It was raining, not snowing -unfortunately, the snow wasn't supposed to come in for a few more weeks- and I was basically falling asleep where I stood.
Ms. Talia had left not two minutes prior, to grab more dishes for me to clean. That's when I heard the voice.
"Whatcha doing?" Turning, I found Sorin leaning nonchalantly against the counter, biting into an apple. I successfully resisted a smile.
"Cleaning."
"No shit." He paused and walked over to the counter where I stood, watching me. "Wanna go?"
"Go where?"
"Anywhere you want."
"I don't have anywhere in mind." The only place I know is here.
Another pause. "Let's go outside."
Glancing at him, I raised a brow. "It's raining."
He shrugged. "So?"
"So I'll get my uniform dirty and have to do extra laundry."
"I'll do your laundry for you."
At this, the image of him doing my laundry, I laughed. "You don't even know how."
"True, but I can learn." I half set my dish down, peaking around the corner to see if I could hear the loud footsteps of Ms. Talia. Then, I said,
"Hurry. She could be back any second." I grabbed his arm and dragged him out the back way that led directly outside. Rain immediately hit us, the cold drops dripping down our faces.
We laughed and splashed in puddles, spinning, and dancing. I dragged him to a spot under an old oak where we were shielded from the rain. There, we talked about everything and nothing altogether. We must've stayed there for hours.
It was late afternoon before we trekked back inside. The hem of my uniform had mud caked to it and my hair felt like sticks. I was shivering but smiling.
Sorin walked me down to the maids' quarters. His hair had fallen on his face, laying flat over his forehead. I felt a warmth on my shoulders as he placed his coat on my shoulders. The brush of his frigid fingers against my bare skin sent electricity through me.
He smiled faintly at me, but I could tell something was bothering him. "Until next time." Then he was gone.
But I didn't mind that as I liked the way he said "next time".
Turning in the opposite direction, I began my trek to Ryn to tell him everything.
A few small meetings later, Sorin and I wound up in the training room. I was watching the other boys spar intently when I said, intrigued,
"I want to learn that."
"What?" Sorin was half-distracted.
"That." I pointed to the training space. "I want to learn how to fight."
Sorin stopped eating, setting down his food altogether. "Why?" He seemed confused.
I shrugged. "It looks fun."
Sorin scoffed. "Yeah, it's so much fun getting pounded into the ground twenty times a day."
But something drew me to that arena, so I persisted. "Will you teach me?"
He blew out a breath, almost another scoff. "No."
I frowned. "Why not?"
"One, it's dangerous. Two, I wouldn't know the first thing to teach. Thirdly, that face is too pretty to mess up." He reached up and took my chin in his fingers, shaking my head. I slapped his hand away.
"Come on, Sorin. Please? I may need it." He didn't look convinced. "Please?"
A long sigh drew from him. "I know a guy. He can teach you."
"Who?"
"Lucas Wells. He's top of our class."
"Great. When-"
"Hey, Sorin!" A boy called. I didn't recognize him by name, but I remembered him from one of the boys that had seen Sorin and me at the ball. He was followed by five other boys.
Sorin was on his feet in a quick second. "Hey, Jerome." I watched the interaction. Sorin was suddenly tense.
"How's our little-" Clearing his throat, Sorin did some form of head gesture toward me. Jerome looked behind the soldier, at me. His eyes widened. "Oh, she's here."
As Sorin shot him a warning glance, I got to my feet. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, Vera," Sorin interrupted. He took my hand. "Let's go." Confused, I let him guide me away, ignoring Jerome's eerie smile.
A week later, I headed again down to the soldier's barracks to see Sorin. He normally ate lunch in the dining hall around this time, so I wanted to see if he wanted to go under the large oak tree and have a picnic. As I turned a corner, I found him and Jerome talking. I was about to call his name when their conversation stopped me. They hadn't noticed me yet.
"It's harder than I thought," Sorin said.
"Come on, it's not that hard. You already made the little devil think you like her. Just seal the deal. Invite her to-"
"I know. I know."
"Then do it."
Sorin shifted. "I'll do it tonight."
"Good. This fucking bet has been going on too long." My gut -what was left of it- sank.
At this, Sorin laughed wearily. "Believe me. I know."
"Yeah, how the hell do you put up with her? I'd get disgusted just being in the same room with her. I mean, have you seen the little prick? We better get good money from this." Before Sorin responded, I finally spoke. My voice was near hoarse.
"I was a bet?" Their heads quickly spun. Both of the boys went still. "I'm just... a bet so disgusting and difficult to deal with that you can't stand me? That's what I am to you? Worth just a few lousy bucks?" I waited and waited, and eventually said angrily, when neither of them responded, "You have nothing to say to that? Nothing?" They didn't speak. He didn't speak.
I nodded and swallowed down that peculiar lump that grows in your throat and seems to swell. "I may not be pretty or easy or naive enough for you..." I paused for a half-second, "but I deserve better than this."
Then I turned and walked back where I came, wondering why I had even thought something like that was real, feeling disgusting and humiliated.
All because of some boy. All because I let my heart guide me.