3 years later.
"I'll see you tomorrow in class Clarity!" A group of underclass students waved to me as we left the lecture hall.
"See you tomorrow! Don't be late this time!" I waved back as I walked in the opposite direction towards the on campus apartments where I stayed. I slung my book bag over my shoulder as I plugged my earphones into my ears and quietly walked home, humming to the tune of my music.
It had been three years since I started college and honestly it had been a unique journey for me, some good moments and some bad. Some so bad to the point where I nearly dropped out but I kept pushing to my goals. Now I was a year away from earning my undergraduate and that much closer to becoming a psychologist. Studying the human mind and behavioral patterns taught me not only about others but a lot about myself.
It helped me do a lot of soul searching within myself and took time to truly understand myself. I humbled myself a little more.
If only Lia were here to see how much I had grown.
The first year apart we tried our hardest to stay in contact as much as possible but it was nearly impossible with our different schedules and eventually we stopped all contact with each other to focus on our college lives. The last I heard of her was college volleyball was 10x more rigorous than high school volleyball, she had to train her hardest and be her best in order to keep her scholarships. She managed to find a new therapist that was more promising than her last one and she made sure to fit in her appointments.
That was the last I really spoke to her, I at least hoped she was doing well and hoped she didn't forget about me because she never left my mind.
I reached the apartment complex and reached my door, I knocked on the door and after a few moments the door opened revealing a shirtless Alex grinning at me.
"Forgot your key again?" He chuckled as I pushed him out of the way to enter the apartment.
"Shut up loser, you know I always forget my keys," I rolled my eyes as I threw my backpack into the corner and collapsed onto the couch, sighing loudly.
Since Alex and I were going to the same college it seemed to strengthen our relationship and pull us closer together. So close that in our second year we decided to get an on campus apartment together and split the rent, of course that meant we both would have to get jobs but in the end it worked out fine because Alex ended up being a pleasant house mate.
He was only occasionally annoying.
"Why are you shirtless anyway? Go put some clothes on," I shooed him away, running my fingers through my now short hair that was cut to a chin length bob.
"Well I live here too and the a/c is broken, I called the maintenance guy but he hasn't come by yet, I think he'll only come around when you're home cause he has a crush on you," Alex shrugged his shoulders as he walked into the kitchen.
"Fuck that, he's so old and creepy," I groaned, rubbing my temples.
"Are you doing anything this afternoon? Any tutoring or clubs or anything at all?" Alex asked as he walked back into the living area with two cups of iced tea in his hand. He handed me one and sat down beside me.
I looked around the apartment and noticed it was unusually tidy than it normally was, he would have his little things lying around here and there but it actually seemed like he cleaned up the place.
"Having company over? Specifically a girl?" I questioned as I jabbed my finger into his arm.
"No, you know I haven't been talking to girls much ever since Abigail broke up with me," He said with slight disappointment in his voice.
"I'm sorry for bringing it up, I really thought you guys were going to work out," I said, patting his back trying to comfort him.
"I did too but I guess I was an idiot to think that just because she cheated on her old boyfriend with me doesn't mean she would do the same to me," He shrugged his shoulders and sipped his tea.
"Everyone focused their attention on Lia and her parental problems but no one really paid attention to how much it really affected Abby, she has some things that she needs to deal with herself but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong," I explained to him.
"Fuck Clarity, do I need to start paying you for sessions? You're really starting to sound like your major," Alex chuckled.
"Yeah right, it's almost as if I actually have to pay attention in my classes because I'm paying so much money for it," I said sarcastically.
"Why are we best friends when all you do is hurt me?" He questioned as he held his free hand over his heart, pretending that he was hurt.
"Because we are attached to the hip that's why, now tell me why the place is so clean?" I questioned him once more.
"Well I-" Before he could answer his question there was a knock on the door causing both of us to look up in surprise.
"Wow I thought they weren't coming for another hour," Alex muttered as he stood up to answer the door.
"Ah ha, I suspected you were having company over and you didn't even tell me!" I yelled as I grabbed my sneaker from my foot and threw it at his legs causing him to look back and me and scold.
"What kind of house mate throws things at each other?" He said as he grabbed the door.
"What kind of house mate invites people over without warning the other?" I mumbled under my breath as I turned towards the television.
"Alexander!" I heard an all too familiar cry out at the door the moment Alex opened it for his incoming guest.
"Asha?" I asked out loud as I turned my head to see Asha hugging Alex in front of the door.
I stood up from the sofa with a big smile on my face, adjusting myself.
Asha and I continued to stay in contact with each other after high school graduation, the more I got to know her and the more I realized she actually was a really cool and caring person. She helped me out a lot when it came to academics because she would get in contact with her father who was a licensed psychologist and would help me as much as possible.
"Clarity look at you! you look like you had a little growth spurt and you cut your hair!" Asha squealed as she ran towards me and hugged me.
"It's so good to see you! It's been so long!" I said as I squeezed her back, rocking her side to side as I inhaled her sweet vanilla scent.
"I know right! Looks like college is helping everyone find themselves!" She said as we broke apart to stare at each other.
Out the corner of my eye I noticed a figure hesitantly step into the room as she looked over at Alex, unsure of what to do next. She had long jet black hair that seemed to touch almost her lower back, she had on a light pink summer dress that stopped right above her ankles and a v neck that showed off her busty cleavage. If it wasn't for the bright colorful tattoos and those stormy grey eyes I probably wouldn't have recognized her.
"Cecelia?" I questioned as I looked over Asha's shoulder.
"Wow are we back to full name basis? Do I have to do something in order for you to not call my full name?" She chuckled as she stepped forward.
Her shaped hadn't changed a bit except her legs seemed more toned and her waist seemed a bit smaller, accentuating the curves of her body. Her hair looked healthy and thick as I noticed the wavy curls in it. She added a tattoo to her chest that I couldn't quite make out but once she approached closer I noticed it was a a heart dripping blood and wrapped in chains.
The details on the tattoo was actually amazing.
"Sorry, I just can't believe it's you Lia," I said as Asha stepped aside so that Lia and I could be face to face.
"In the flesh,"She said as she smirked, her oh so signature smirk.
I stepped forward and outstretched my arms as she quickly pulled me in for a tight hug causing butterflies and a sense of comfort to erupt within my stomach.
"We have so much to talk about," She grinned after we finally broke apart.
-
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"Alex I'm sorry about my sister breaking your heart, I was so scared that you'd be the one to break hers but I guess I was wrong," Lia said as Alex tossed everyone a beer. I sat in a chair opposite of the sofa where Alex and Lia sat while Asha happily sat on the coffee table.
"I mean that's life I guess, it hurts for sure but life goes on and I'll have to move on," He said as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Speaking of heart breaks, Clarity I remember you telling me you ended up in a few flings and relationships," Asha said as she wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I looked over at Lia who was looking at me with full curiosity in her eyes.
"I mean yeah, just a few. I got a boyfriend my second year here and but I broke up with him and the beginning of this year I had a girlfriend for a few months but she broke up with me because she said after a while she felt the spark on my end start to die," I shrugged my shoulders as I chugged my beer down.
"Have you been dating anyone Asha?" Alex asked genuinely.
Asha shot a quick glance at me and then looked back at Alex as a smiled. She had admitted to me a few months ago that she always had a small crush on Alex but never acted upon it because of how in love he was with Abigail up until recently.
"Just a couple casual flings, nothing serious," She said as she smiled.
"Lia I'm sure you've been a player all on the campus, do all the girls know your name?" Alex teased.
"Everyone knows my name but not for that reason. I've kept a low profile and kept busy with school, work, sports and other things, besides dating hasn't really interested me or casual affairs. College has really made me calm down from all that and focus on myself," She explained.
Alex whistled as he tossed Lia another beer, looking at her with admiration.
"You and Clarity seemed to really switch roles ever since we graduated high school," He laughed as I threw a pillow at him.
"I said it was only a couple!" I glared at him.
"How many times have you kicked me out of the apartment because you had a 'friend' come over? Funny how you used to throw the word whore around so casually, now look at you," He smiled at me as he caught the pillow.
"I barely knew the definition of whore when I was in high school, the term whore is just a word used to try and suppress and steer a woman away from exploring her sexuality even though it's praised upon men," I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Clarity has taken couple modern feminism classes and it changed her entire outlook on things," Alex chuckled before chugging his beer completely and then cracking open another one.
"That's amazing Clarity, we love a changed mindset for the better," Asha clapped.
I looked over at Lia who was glancing out of the window, holding the beer in between her hands, not really participating much in the conversation. I looked over at Alex and noticed him staring in between the both of us before finally getting up and stretching.
"Hey Asha wanna take a walk with me real quick?" Alex said as he walked over to Asha and outstretched his hand to help her up.
"Sure, I would love to go for a walk!" She said happily as she bounced up from her seat.
"Okay, great," He grabbed his shirt from the back of the couch and pulled it over his head before opening the front door, allowing Asha to step out first.
"Looks like you two need a bit of catching up with," He winked before shutting the door behind him.
"Ugh, how have you been able to live with him this entire time?" Lia chuckled.
"You get used to it after a while, besides it isn't that bad, I would say he's more of a pleasant house mate especially since we are best friends," I shrugged my shoulders.
I looked over at her and noticed her studying my face for a moment, her eyes not as readable as they used to be when we were younger but softer.
"You've definitely changed Clarity," She finally said.
"I could say the same for you too, you're even wearing a dress and you got long hair," I pointed out.
"I just wore the dress to impress you, I normally wear sweat pants or jeans like I always do. I decided to grow out my hair though because it's been so long since I've seen it long and I honestly love it," She said, running her fingers through her long hair.
"Do you still like it tugged on?" I asked seductively.
She looked over at me with her usual Lia smirk that seemed to make something stir in my stomach.
"I like it tugged harder," She said back.
We both burst out laughing as I moved onto the couch to be closer to her.
"I remember you used to blush whenever I said little things like that. Now look at you, being the instigator," She said.
"Have you been in contact with anyone else form back home?" I asked.
"I occasionally talk to Justin here and there, did you hear that him and Amelia have been three years strong?" She said.
"I know right crazy, I always knew he had a crush on her but I didn't think they would survive this long, I always thought it would be Alex and Abigail," I shook my head.
"Yeah while I was going to my therapy sessions I realized I wasn't the only one in the family that had some issues they refused to deal with, ever since I brought it up to her she's refused to talk to me. I feel bad for Alex because he really did try and give her the world," She said, placing her can onto the table.
"Studying in my classes I learned that you can't help someone who refuses to help themselves no matter how badly you want them to get better, I tried so hard to help you and help you realize what you were going through but I couldn't understand that you didn't even want to admit it yourself and I was pushing too far," I said, gently tapping my finger tips to her colorful forearm where the now faded scars laid.
"I won't say that I've been perfect and improving all throughout college, after finally accepting the fact that I was raped I decided to go to this group where sexual assault survivors went to connect and after that meeting I relapsed and started cutting myself again, thankfully I like to say that I am a year and a half clean," She beamed at me, her smile contagious.
"Fuck Clarity you're really easy to talk to," She groaned as she covered her eyes from embarrassment.
"Good, I want to be easy to talk to, it's good for my career path," I smiled.
"How's your milf of a mother doing?" She smirked at me.
"Down girl, she's still happily married to my dad, how are your folks doing?" I mocked her.
"I don't talk to either of them, it's better for my mental health. My mother thought me growing my hair out was me becoming straight and that's when I knew she was a lost cause, in order to keep my sanity and myself feeling better I have to separate myself from my family," She shrugged her shoulders with a sigh.
"Separating yourself from those who don't wish to understand you is the best you can do for yourself," I smiled, grabbing her hand in mine as a small gesture of comfort.
"Clarity can I ask you a question and please be honest with me," She said with such a hushed tone.
"I'm all ears," I said, paying close attention.
"Do you feel anything when you're around me now, after all these years do you still feel something for me?" She asked, slightly scared to look into my eyes, afraid of another rejection just like before but dying to know what the answer may be.
I looked at her for a moment before grabbing her face and turning it so now she was looking me directly in my eyes.
"No, I don't feel what I felt for you those years ago...I feel something entirely different, I once wanted to to help you heal but now I want to get to know you, the you that you found buried deep inside, I feel comfort, I feel a pull and I feel that you love yourself enough to let me love you too without depending on me," I explained.
"Can I admit something?" She said quickly.
"Sure,"
"I feel that and also I feel pretty horny," She burst out laughing.
"You harlot!" I shouted out as I lunged myself at her, flinging myself into her lap as she laughed at me.
As we calmed down from our fit of giggles I rested my head into her lap as I looked up at her.
"You know I am no where near done school right?" I asked her.
"Yeah I figured loser, don't you need your PhD?" She asked.
"Yup,"
"It's okay I graduate next year with my Bachelor's," She added.
"So what does that mean for us?" I asked curiously.
"It means that we pick up where we started but this time slower, thoroughly getting to know each other from within, seeing if the feelings are still there or if we were forever meant to be best friends, either way I never want to lose my relationship with you," She said as she caressed my hair, staring deep into my eyes with her grey orbs that pulled me in to their mysterious color.
"I'd say starting slow is the best option for us right now," I smiled as I held her hand and squeezed it tightly.
Everyday I hoped she didn't forget me, everyday I kept her presence in the back of my mind, wanting to let her know all that has happened with me, all the adventures I had been going through but I waited patiently.
Hoping that she was getting better, hoping that she was improving her mental health so that some day...maybe some day we would be able to reunite and kindle our relationship.
Whether that be romantic or platonic.
I wouldn't say this is a bad ending or necessarily a happy ending, it's an ending where I got to sleep with my best friend and only those can guess where that lands us in the future.
This is the official ending of the story after many long years! Whether you absolutely hate the ending or love it that is just how I decided to end the story without dragging it on any further and I hope you enjoyed this journey of Sleeping w/ my Best Friend, thank you for all of the support!
Stay tuned for the chapter on all the little notes everyone signed in Clarity's old high school yearbook if you were curious and I will be doing a story Q/A afterwards, answering any and all questions you have about the story and characters that I wasn't able to put in the main story so ask away!