꧁—— ❦ ——꧂
"What is it that we're waiting for?" Katalina asks, looking much too elegant to be leaning against the dirtied stone railing. Each time she tilts her head to peer over Lavinia's shoulder she can feel her breathing against the back of her neck, the prickles that scratch her skin raw.
Lavinia's nose twitches, angrily tightening her grip around the railing and narrowing her eyes, attentive as she stares at the entrance door, "Della Rocca."
"Absolutely not." Katalina quickly grabs Lavinia's wrist, tugging in an attempt to force her to turn around. "Why are we waiting for Della Rocca of all people?"
"Don't touch me!" Lavinia snarls when she feels the skin beneath her hand starting to burn. It's gotten worse, she thinks, since Hallowe'en and vaguely reminds her of her mother when she yanks it away. "Della Rocca hasn't kept up her end of the deal."
Della Rocca, I'll have your fucking teeth.
"I'm almost vibrating with excitement." Lavinia says with a wicked grin. "Reckon dear old daddy will have to pay for another set of veneers."
When she receives no response in return ( which she thinks is odd, if Katalina's insistence in the encounter is anything to go by ) she turns her head to look over her shoulder, and guilt seems to slam a brick into her gut. Katalina's removed her hand but she stares, crestfallen, towards the damp concrete, brows furrowed and a tremor in her hand Lavinia's learned she only does when distressed. She's worrying her bottom lip, and she can see a cloud of misty grey settling over the corners of hazel and thinks, shit.
"Fuck... Kat, I'm sorry." Lavinia sighs, removes one hand from the railing to rub against her face. "I should never have said that, I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Katalina quietly sniffs, blinks a couple of times. "Can I ask why I can't touch you?"
It feels like you want to watch me burn.
"I fell on my wrist." Lavinia lies, flexing her fingers. "The other day when you were in maths. I fell in the dorm."
"You alright?" Katalina asks, and she feels the guilt gnawing on the chipped corners of her soul. Sharp teeth that pierce the edges and rip it off for the infernos beneath her. Her eyes are warm and swimming with concern, looking as if they could swallow her whole.
When Lavinia doesn't answer Katalina holds her hands out, tentatively hovering them in the cool breeze, "Can I...?"
Burn me at the stake, Katalina. Go ahead.
"Yes." Lavinia says, bites the inside of her cheek.
Katalina's eyes soften once she's grabbed her wrist, assuming the wince is from how sore it's become from the fall. Lavinia wants to sneer and tug her wrist back from the raging sear that gnaws at her flesh and leaves teeth marks on the bone. There's something wrong with whats happened and she doesn't understand it. Why Katalina's touch went from a tingle to a full burn. It almost feels like she knows something she shouldn't, or Katalina's mind has admitted something she's too afraid to say out loud. But, as it is, Lavinia's the one who will pay for it; she'd never admit to Katalina the reason she hates that she touches her, or the way she can feel her skin burning raw and blistering if a hands been left on her too long — it infuriates her and tugs a string in her stomach.
There's an urge ( it feels more like an invisible strings been attached to her arm, trying to control her movements ) that itches against her body. A voice that whispers, you know what it is you want to do, and it makes her sick. Somewhere, buried beneath the metal barriers in her mind, are memories of when she'd listened to the voices and given in to the urge, because it takes, and it takes, and it takes. It grasps it's fingers around her throat and squeezes until she can't breath, pulls on the strings until she's nothing more than the God's puppet, and commands her in ways she'd deem unnecessary. It's like a plague that never truly goes away. It's incurable and sits in the back of her mind, taunting her. Or, she thinks it's the real life equivalent of the boy who cried wolf ( and she hates herself whenever she thinks about it. she can't stop the memories of eating stroopwafels with her brothers while her father reads it. ). A liar is never rewarded, she remembers her father saying, and Lavinia has spent most of her life lying, if only to appease those around her. She'd cried wolf and been reprimanded by the Gods for it. She'd tell the truth and been reprimanded by her mother for it. There is so safe space for her, and when she cries wolf no one comes to help. However, when it comes to Katalina, she'd rather the voices turn on her and the strings snap taut. Cry wolf and everyone ignore her. Because it takes and it takes, and she's left with nothing but the opaque grief that comes with her actions.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask first, Avie." Katalina all but whispers, turning her wrist over in her hands. "It was careless, I'm sorry —"
"Don't." Lavinia fiercely cuts her off. Her wrist is positively burning, but Katalina hasn't done anything different. It's her that's the problem. "You've done nothing wrong, do you understand?"
Katalina doesn't answer right away and continues to stare at her wrist, turning it over and examining it as if it'll make her feel better.
"Katalina, do you understand?" Lavinia says with furrowed brows, placing her other hand on the brunettes shoulder.
"Yes, I do." Katalina finally says.
Lavinia knows it'll hurt even worse, but she knows it's what Katalina needs when she tugs her arm and wraps both of her hands behind her neck, pulling her into a hug. She hopes Katalina can take the comfort she needs from it because she surely is not. Her whole body sparks and feels like it's on fire, her blood runs hot, and her eyes sting with unshed tears. It makes her miss Harry.
It burns, it burns, it burns.
"That was mean of me and I'm sorry." Lavinia says with a slight tremble in her voice, staving off tears from the heat. "I love you, you're my best friend."
"It's okay." Katalina squeezes her, and she has to fight the urge to full on sob. "I love you too, you're also my best friend and I can't stay mad."
When Katalina drops her arms and pulls back, Lavinia takes a small gasp for air from the sudden violent drop in temperature. Her body doesn't feel on fire anymore, her heart doesn't seem to be throwing itself again her chest, and her blood doesn't flare against her skin. She's reminded of the fact that she's standing outside in the chilly air. Her fingers, though, continue to slightly twitch.
"Now, what's the plan for Della Rocca?" Katalina leans back against the railing, hands shoved in her blazer pockets.
What?
"Pardon?" Lavinia says in a slight daze, gripping the railing in an attempt to centre her gravity. Everything seems to be suddenly spinning.
Katalina frowns, "Della Rocca, Avie? She hasn't kept up her end of the deal?"
"Right... right." Lavinia nods and clears her throat, staring at Katalina to stop the spinning. "Just have a few words for her, that's all."
"Uh-huh." Katalina nods, staring at Lavinia with a look she can't quite decipher.
Before she can put too much thought into it the bell atop the school rings throughout the courtyard, and a truly feral grin settles over Lavinia's face when the entrance door is opened not even seconds later. They don't have to wait long, she wagers it was only a couple of minutes before Giavanna walks out — and even better, she has Sophia at her side.
"Oh, this'll be good." Katalina laughs, pushing herself off the railing.
Lavinia cups her hands around her mouth, "Oi, Della Rocca!" She shouts, watching as a few students turn their heads towards her. "Come here a second!"
Sophia turns her head when she hears Della Rocca being called and narrows her eyes, grabbing onto her friends wrist and pulling her over to the two girls. The sight of Sophia fills Lavinia with a new sense of rage, knowing that it's her fault that rumours have even started to begin with.
"Vinke." Sophia says, nose scrunched in disgust. "Come to gloat about having a teacher fired, have you? Truth hurts, doesn't it?"
Sophia Wilson was the most pretentious bitch to walk the planet in Lavinia's eyes. Self-entitled, good for nothing, spoiled fucking brat. That was the nicest string of words Lavinia could throw together whenever she thought of her. Whenever she thought of her around Katalina, it was all curses and ill-will — not that Sophia didn't deserve it. They'd been friends ( in very loose terms ) once, but it seemed that overnight Sophia had become a different person. At seven, she'd told their peers that Lavinia's father had left. At nine, she'd succeeded in isolating all the good things about Lavinia, and highlighted all of her flaws. At twelve, she'd broken Lavinia's nose and claimed it was an accident, but there wasn't much of an accident to it when she'd quite literally ganged up on her with four other girls. And now, at fourteen, she'd spread rumours that she was shagging a teacher ( and really how fucking vile can you be? ) because it was surely the only way Lavinia had good grades. Lavinia didn't know what it was that gravitated the other students to Sophia as if she were a solar eclipse ( she thinks it's the amount of money her father has. rich prat. ) and became infatuated to the point that they were unable to tear themselves away from the horrid personality and glimpses of luxury — but Lavinia saw through those lies, felt the burn that seared her palm the first time she grabbed her hand. Sophia Wilson was a fucking bully. And she itched to put the girl in her place.
Lavinia sickly smiles, cracks her fingers against her side, "No, not to you, anyway. I've just come across some interesting rumours that seem to have originated from that fat mouth of yours."
"Fat!" Sophia violently gasps, jaw hung open. "I won't have you running that mouth of yours, Vinke! How dare you!"
"Fucking daft, you are. I said fat mouth, you bimbo." Lavinia sneered, the corner of her lip threatening to quirk when Katalina barks a laugh from behind her.
"Who do you think you are?" Sophia spat, face turning beet red and hands in fists at her side. "I've spread no rumours. I'm telling people the truth."
"The truth, eh?" Katalina cuts in with a wicked grin. "Does daddy dearest know his princess is a vile, ungrateful bitch?"
Sophia peers over Lavinia's shoulder, "I'm not ungrateful, Dikaios, and I don't know where you've heard that but I reckon it's from Vinke's ignorant brain."
"But you know you're a vile bitch, then?" Katalina folds her arms over her chest, smug in the way she stares at Sophia. "Clearly you must, if that was the only thing you never cared to dispute."
"Oh, fuck you both." Giavanna says, and Lavinia almost jumps, having forgotten she was there. "You don't scare us."
Lavinia gives a mean laugh, "Is that why you were weeping like a baby in the corridor?"
"What?" Sophia snaps, gaze fleeting between the two. "What is she talking about, Giavanna?"
Giavanna at least has the sense to look embarrassed and ashamed all at once, timidly staring down at her shoes, "Nothing. I don't know that she's talking about."
"Wait!" Katalina mocked with a fake sob.
Lavinia grins, sniffly loudly and voice feeble, "I'll pass it along!"
"You're a piece of shit, Vinke." Giavanna suddenly snarls, finger harshly poking into her chest. "You deserve everything you've ever gotten."
Well, she thought, that's one thing we can agree on.
"I recommend you take a step back, Della Rocca." Lavinia slowly says with narrowed eyes. "I'll have your teeth if you don't, and you know I will."
Her finger was removed in an instant and she's moved to cower behind Sophia. Pathetic, Lavinia wants to say but she doesn't.
"Wilson, I suggest you put an end to those vile rumours of yours." Lavinia took half a step closer, watching as a glint of terror grew in the corners of the girls eyes. "Otherwise, it would be unfortunate for Katalina and I to start a rumour of our own."
"Perhaps we should start one, Avie." Katalina says, and just from the tone Lavinia knows she's staring at her hands, a bored look upon her features. "I've a few pieces of rather interesting information about your father, Wilson."
"Ah, good point, Kat." Lavinia nods. "Would be a shame if everyone knew how he came into that money."
"Fuck you, at least my father loves me." Sophia spat. "And unlike yours, mine would never think of leaving me. Do you miss him, Vinke? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night wondering where you went wrong?"
Rage. A tiny crack in the voids of shame and guilt that harbours the smallest, revolting rage that threatens to swallow the concrete beneath her feet and drag them all to the infernos with her. If she burns, then they burn with her. Her heart twists in her chest, malevolent words bounce against her teeth in thick letters of white, and blood-wine red glazes her vision. Teeth uncomfortably clenching against each other, she can see nothing but that tiny crack of rage as it splinters and fills the voids with that irrepressible need to scream until her voice is hoarse, hit something until her knuckles are raw and bleeding, and shed tears of longing for something she refuses to admit she craves. She's bitter, she's mean, and she's angry. Years of misfortunes weigh heavy on her bones; she's fucking furious with the Gods and with the world.
"Guess you've nothing to say, huh?" Sophia taunts after her pause of silence, smiling. "You won't worry about it for long, I reckon you'll be dead before we graduate. I think daddy dearest did himself a favour when he left."
The knife plunged in her ribcage was twisted and the crack split open. And just like that, she wants to watch Sophia burn. If they cannot all be dragged down to the pits of hell with her, then she'll be certain that Sophia is there beside when she finally is. Lavinia's nose twitches, barely spares a glance towards Katalina when she takes half a step in her peripherals, and swung her fist hard into Sophia's nose.
"Stupid — fucking — pretentious bitch!" Lavinia snarls, months of pent of anger in every throw that accompanies each word.
It's absolute mayhem — Sophia's hand is woven in her hand and she harshly tugs, a shooting pain rushing through her scalp and odds parts along her face where Sophia's landed particularly harsh blows. Lavinia's somehow managed to bring the both of them to the ground and sits atop her stomach, fists wildly flying through the air and Sophia's definitely bleeding, but Lavinia is too. Hollers and cheers distantly ring in her ears, and she's certain that's Katalina loudly laughing and Theadosa ( which slightly warms something in her gut. it's like the feeling of pride ) repeatedly yelling, 'Get her, Vinke!'
There's a crunch beneath her fist and then Sophia sobs. A feral grin settles on Lavinia's face that doesn't seem to disappear even when Sophia manages a blow across her nose and the bitter taste of copper fills her mouth. This feels like a sense of justice she didn't know she deserved, and she knows she'll severely pay the consequences when teachers start to show up but she can't bring it within herself to fucking care. Sophia's a fucking bully, and Lavinia is finally putting her in her place.
"Miss Vinke! Miss Wilson! Stop this at once!"
It hasn't taken long for someone of authority to find them, seeing as they were right outside the entrance doors of the school, but with the amount of satisfaction thrumming through her bones she won't be stopping anytime soon.
Over my cold, dead body.
"Miss Dikaios, restrain her at once!"
"No thanks." Katalina laughs, cheers when she watches another blow land against Sophia. "Reckon she's having fun, Charlie."
A sharp pain shoots against her jaw and it knocks her back just enough for hands to wrap themselves around her chest. From the sudden burn she knows it's Katalina, and knows Charlie's said something that terrified her into listening. When Katalina's pulled her away enough from Sophia she lets her go, and Lavinia lifts her hand in an attempt to halt the stream of blood coming from her nose.
"Miss Vinke, explain yourself!" Charlie snaps, and when Lavinia looks up she thinks she's never seen her so angry before.
"Nothing to explain, Headmistress." Lavinia says, winces when Charlie narrows her eyes even further at being addressed by her proper title.
"My office. Now." Charlie seethes between clenched teeth, pointing towards the entrance door. "The both of you."
And when Lavinia hears the tone in her voice she knows there is no getting out of this, and that she's utterly screwed. Maybe, just one last time, she'll be the girl that cried wolf.
hi luvs xx okay this was so exciting to write because this has been stewing in my drafts for months. obviously we all know alida thinks lavinia should attend a school for trouble girls, but ( hopefully ) you've started to learn that lavinia actually does deserve her place in st. atarah's, so i feel this was like a little inside look into her life that she'd never reveal with harry and that he wouldn't learn himself. anyway, don't forget to comment and vote and until next time, dolls <3