"Is that all true? Mr. Northerland... and Thomas..."
Mandy and Anna each sat on their beds that night, facing each other, and still clothed in their uniforms. Anna was shocked to hear about what happened with Mr. Northerland, and after, what happened with Thomas.
"Yes, it's all true," said Mandy. "Gosh, I was completely shocked when Thomas did that."
"Well not as shocking as what Mr. Northerland did. Did he hurt you at all?"
"No, he just gave me a few bruises on my arms, and he hurt my pride immensely. If he wasn't so strong, I would've beaten him up."
"I think you need to report this to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes."
Mandy shook her head vigorously, and some stray hairs fell out of her maid's cap. "No, no, I don't want to say anything. I just needed to tell someone about all this or I would burst." Her chest suddenly tightened, and tears stung her eyes. She had never been taken advantage of before. If Thomas hadn't stepped in...
Mandy momentarily thought about what happens to Anna later on in the show. That could've happened to her.
"Don't you think you were a little harsh with him?"
She jumped out of her thoughts and looked up and met Anna's brown eyes. "What?"
"Thomas. Maybe you were a bit too harsh. I mean, he told Mrs. O'Brien not to bug you anymore, and he saved you from that evil man."
Mandy pursed her lips, knowing she was right. "Maybe, but..." She looked down at her hands balled in her lap. "Anna, you've seen the way he always scowls at me and the way he makes fun of me and criticizes me. Not to mention what he and O'Brien do to kick Mr. Bates out."
"Still, there's no excuse for disliking someone for what they've done. And, it seems like Thomas is changing because of you, personality wise."
Anna sounded like her mom—honest and to the point.
"He just annoys me..." Mandy mumbled. "Thomas."
"Just forget it, then."
"I don't think I'll be able to forget." She took a deep breath, holding her emotion at the painful memory of what happened earlier in the evening. "A man took advantage of me, Anna. That's not easily forgiven. I'm scarred for life now. If that man ever comes back..."
Hot, stinging tears fell from her eyes. Anna came and sat next to her and started rubbing her back. "I know. Something like that can be hard to forgive. What about Thomas?"
Mandy shook her head. "A man who's not attracted to women and hates you, and then turns around and kisses you... that's... gosh, who would think of it?"
"I think the fact that he rescued you and saved you from Mrs. O'Brien is evidence that he's serious. I think Thomas has fallen in love with you."
Mandy tried to process that. No one had ever fallen in love with her before, at least, that she was aware about. "Fallen in love? After a little over a week?"
"Yes. I fell in love with Mr. Bates after first meeting him."
"Well... that's great for you, but..." She paused a moment and held her palm to her forehead. "Gosh, my head hurts. I don't know how this is all going to end."
"Well, better give it a better start by apologizing to Thomas. You two could still be friends."
Mandy let off a smile, and she remembered her crush on him before she came to the Downton world. "Yeah... okay. Maybe I can apologize tomorrow, but there's no way I can reciprocate his feelings. I admit that I had feelings for him, but after the way he treated me... yeah, it's not gonna happen."
"Don't say that—you never know if it will. Just keep the air open and see what happens."
"You're right." She met her eyes again. "You remind me of my mom, you know. She always has wise advice for me, even if I don't want to hear it because I know she's right."
Anna smiled with pride. "Well, I'm glad."
A few moments passed in silence, other than the tick of the clock above the mantle of the little fireplace. "Gosh, that man..."
Mandy's chest constricted more as she remembered that horrible experience with Mr. Northerland again and what could've happened. More tears stung her eyes as Anna rubbed her back some more. Mandy never wanted what happened that night to happen to her ever again.
~ ~ ~
The next morning as Mandy walked into breakfast, Thomas's gaze instantly landed on her. She looked away from him as she walked over to her seat but felt his gaze on her until she sat down. What Anna said the night before rang in her ears, and her heart pounded with anticipation of apologizing. She had never been good at it. When she was younger and her mom made her apologize to the neighbor kid for pushing them down, she had to be forced to apologize, and even then, it wasn't all that sincere.
"I wonder why Mr. Northerland just up and left this morning?" Daisy wondered as everyone started eating breakfast. Mandy glanced at Anna, who then looked at Thomas.
"And how did you know that?" Mrs. O'Brien asked.
"I heard His Lordship talk about it as I was coming back from doing the fireplaces this morning. He just up and left without a word to anyone."
"It's not our business," Mrs. Hughes said, and the matter was dropped. Mandy knew all too well why Mr. Northerland left.
Breakfast eventually ended, and everyone was off to do their assigned tasks. Mandy intentionally waited until Thomas stood up. As he was in the hallway next to the room, she took a deep breath of courage and came up to him as he was straightening out his jacket.
"Still want to talk to me?" he asked as he fixed his tie.
"Yes. I... I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I should've been more appreciative of what you did regarding Mrs. O'Brien and Mr. Northerland, and... I shouldn't have said what I said about you joining the army. That was mean."
His eyes narrowed, but not meanly. He seemed curious. "And what war were you talking about exactly? How would you know of my wantin' to join it?"
Mandy wanted to groan in frustration with herself as she remembered the events in the show. The war wasn't announced until the end of the season. Of course he wouldn't know about it now. She pursed her lips together, not knowing how to respond to his questions.
"Nevermind," he said flatly and turned and walked down the hallway, leaving her to stare after him. She wouldn't let him get away that easily. She followed after him and stopped him before he went up the stairs.
"Thomas."
He looked down at her from the first step as he held onto the bottom of the railing. "I really am sorry about what I said. I've... well, what happened yesterday with that man has never happened to me before. I was scared out of my wits, and I couldn't think straight. I thought something a lot worse was going to happen. If you would've stepped in, then..."
Emotion caught her throat, and she couldn't finish. That was when Mr. Carson came up and told them to stop loitering and to get to work. Mandy slipped away, leaving Thomas to stare after her, his lips firmly pressed together, and his hand gripping the railing, so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
"Wait, Mandy," she heard behind her and turned to face him. "I'm sorry. For... kissing you."
She stared at him, shocked. Thomas... was sorry about something? That never happened! She swallowed before she said, "It's alright. Let's just forget it ever happened, okay?"
He nodded, and they both went to do their work. She knew that she was a hypocrite for asking to forget everything that happened. She knew for a fact that she wouldn't be able to forget Thomas Barrow kissing her and telling her that he wasn't gay anymore because of her.
Nope, not a chance, especially when she could still feel his the sensation of his mouth on hers.
~ ~ ~
Every time she passed Thomas anywhere, her heart kicked into overdrive, mainly because his stares were long and hard. It reminded her of Jordan McKenna back in tenth grade. He had an insane crush on her, and every time he passed her in the hallway, his stares were always long, and didn't end until he passed her. Thomas was just the same, only she didn't have any feelings whatsoever for Jordan. With Thomas, as the days passed, she found that her crush on him turned into something more. She found herself thinking about him as she cleaned, dreamed about him in her sleep, and overall couldn't get her thoughts or eyes away from him.
And he noticed. Every time their gazes locked, he seemed to read in her eyes that she fell for him fast and hard, regardless of the fact that she had only been at Downton for two weeks.
Mandy went outside near the picnic table to get some fresh air. She had to clean a lot of silver, and the fumes of the cleaner got the better of her. She inhaled and exhaled the fresh air smelling of grass and stone. She heard the door creak open behind her. She quickly hightailed it around the corner of the entrance, not wanting to be seen by whoever came outside. She peaked around the corner and found Thomas there.
He pulled out a cigarette. She never liked smokers, but he looked really hot just standing there smoking. She watched him for a few minutes as he threw the cigarette down and smooshed it into the stone next to the picnic table. He stood there for a few more minutes. Her heart thudded. Thomas looked really good. She remembered a scene in the show when he had one of those tight white shirts on, showing every chest muscle he had. Heat traveled up her neck and she looked away from him and leaned up against the blue wood.
If she was completely honest with herself, she was crazy about him. Would she go as far as to say that she was in love with him? "Gosh," she whispered to herself in exasperation. "What's wrong with me?"
"A lot of things."
She jumped a little at his suddenly standing there. "Hi," she squeaked.
He folded his arms and gave her an accusatory look. "Were you spying on me?"
Her face heated, and she knew he could see her face gaining crimson. "I'm... I'm not spying. I just needed some fresh air. I was polishing that silver for two hours straight. The cleaner smell was getting to me."
"Fresh air on the side of the entrance?"
He was scrutinizing her. He tilted his head a bit, waiting for her to speak again.
"Oh, alright," she confessed. "I was... I wanted to get out of view of you so you could smoke in peace."
"You're avoidin' me."
"I'm not. Look, I didn't know it was you who stepped out until I was already behind the wall."
He stared at her after that comment, but only a soft stare. She looked away from him, not wanting him to see her flushed cheeks. "I have to get back inside," she said suddenly. "Excuse me."
She about walked around him, but he caught her upper arm and pulled her back in front of him. He cocked his head. "You are avoidin' me."
She huffed through her nose, her impatience rising. "What do you really want, Thomas? To pester me?"
He creased his brows. "No, that's not what I want."
"Then what? We really have to get back to work."
She tugged on her arm, but he kept hold of her. "I want something else," he confessed, and her blue eyes widened, knowing what he insinuated.
"But... I thought we agreed to forget..."
"And you thought that was possible?"
He smirked, clearly seeing her nervousness. He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her until her back was against the blue wooden wall. "Thomas, I..."
He covered her lips with one finger, and she couldn't help but stare at his blue eyes, which were dangerously close to her face. "Shh."
He placed his hand back on her shoulder and leaned in. His lips met hers, which caused some kind of jolt to shoot through her, making her heart pound hard and rapidly. She stood frozen against the wall as her eyes fluttered closed. Thomas's lips were moist and soft as they moved over hers, and she felt their front teeth touch each other. It was so... satisfying. She didn't want it to stop. It made her feel... exhilarated. Dazed, she moved her mouth with his and noticed his tongue lick hers, and his fingers dig into her shoulders. He leaned more into her as she selfishly enjoyed every moment of feeling his body heat, his lips, smelling his scent of soap and hair oil...
The door opened from around the corner and Mandy unhooked her mouth from his. She and Thomas stared at one another for a moment.
"I want you, Mandy."
Without allowing her to respond, he let her go. He rounded the corner and started talking to the person who came out. Mandy didn't know who it was because she was too absorbed with what just happened. She just stood there against the wall, staring at nothing, her limbs feeling like pudding.
She made out with Thomas Barrow. Thomas Barrow, the once-gay man from Downton Abbey, who was, in the show, a good eight years older than she was. Who would've thought that this would happen to her? And to him, for that matter?
"Where is Mandy?" asked someone.
Mandy snapped out of it. She rounded the corner to find Mrs. Hughes standing there in the doorway.
"Now what were you doing? Come back in. There are chores to do."
"I'm sorry," Mandy said and followed the woman in.
The woman didn't need to know what went one around that little corner.