That Saturday I received an unexpected phone call.
"Lisa-ssi, can you talk for a bit?" a man's voice asked cheerfully.
"Kim Taehyung-ssi?" I cried out feeling stumped. Just when did he get my phone number?
"Ah, so you recognized me." He chirped like a young boy. "That's good. I wanted to ask if you want to have lunch with me?"
Lunch, huh? I guess both brother and sister care very much about this meal.
"Of course. Just tell me when and where and I will be there."
He gave me an address and we settled to meet at 1 p.m.
"Then, Lisa-ssi, I will see you there in a couple of hours." He said before hanging up.
The place Taehyung chose was slightly farther away than the restaurant I went to for the meeting with Kim Hanbin. It was more like a bistro than a fancy restaurant. It served food and drinks and even had barbeque tables. I never would have expected a man like Taehyung to prefer this type of place. But I wasn't complaining. I for one liked it very much. The tables were small so only a few people could crowd around one, the place was large enough not to get too cramped and the service was good.
The moment I arrived, I saw Taehyung already sitting at a table.
"Taehyung-ssi, sorry for being late." Though I wasn't really late, I felt bad about letting him wait for me.
"No, I'm sorry for calling you out so suddenly. I hope I didn't inconvenience you too much."
"It's alright. I wasn't working. In fact," I said honestly. "I really needed a break so your call came at the right time."
"That's good then." He replied with a bright smile. "Come, let's order. The food here is amazing. I always worry about getting fat when I come here."
Halfway throughout the meal I began thinking that Taehyung was acting a bit strange. Despite seeming cheerful and talking about all sorts of things, he wasn't saying anything about the true purpose of this meeting and I was beginning to feel nervous. Therefore, I decided to bite the bullet and ask.
"Uhm, Taehyung-ssi, why did you want to see me?"
"My invitation might have come as a great shock to you, didn't it, Lisa-ssi?" He asked, placing his chopsticks down on the table.
"I was just surprised."
"I called you here today to talk about Sooya."
"Ji-Jisoo?" I blurted out in surprise.
"Yes. Lisa-ssi, I do not know what happened between you two, but Sooya has been acting very odd recently."
"I've noticed that myself." I lowered my head so he couldn't see my expression. "But why do you think it has anything to do with me? It might be due to work related stress or something else."
"I know, because I know Sooya. She never lets stress or anything else affect her so much. But when it comes to something important to her, she tends to lose her head."
"Lose her head?"
"Yes, you know when she was younger, we used to have a cat. But after a while the cat ran away. Sooya had been very attached to it and suffered greatly. She believed it was because she had something wrong, or that the cat wasn't happy with her. She kept blaming herself so much that she refused to eat anything or get out of her room. My parents were beginning to worry and they even considered taking her to the hospital. But just then, Sooya suddenly reverted back to normal. In short, it was like the cat episode didn't even happen. My parents decided to leave it alone and not probe further, but I was a curious child and I asked Sooya about this. I remember what she told me even to this day. She said 'It's alright if the cat is happy then it's ok to leave me. I won't force to stay if other party is unhappy.'"
I raised my head, looking stunned at Taehyung. He had a nostalgic smile, his eyes almost glistening with tears. I didn't know what I should say so I kept quiet.
"She was so young then. For her to think that way, made me realize that Sooya will grow up to be a different kind of person that I initially thought. She liked her toys and the people around her, but as long as something or someone left her, she wouldn't chase after them, always thinking that they were happier without her."
"But... but that's not good. What if... what if it's not really like that?" I finally brought myself to say.
Indeed, this way of thinking might sound noble and selfless, but in the end it's not. Letting go of something, not even once trying to find it again or fighting for it... that kind of thinking didn't sit too well with me. It was too similar to cowardice. But perhaps I shouldn't be too quick to judge, since I was a different type of coward myself.
"You're right. I tried telling her that many times, but she never listened. She simply smiled and shook her head. Then, more and more people continued to leave. Our parents died when she was still in high school. She didn't cry much, but I knew she was suffering. At the funeral she simply said a few words. She hoped that they were well and happy wherever they were and that they would watch over her. Everyone was impressed with her mature and composed manners, but I knew that there was a whole layer of grief hiding inside her heart."
"So that's what happened. I'm sorry to hear that." I mumbled. I felt heartache, thinking about a young Jisoo suffering in silence.
"We still had our grandparents. We moved in with them right after the funeral. I was in my last year of college, while Sooya was in her second year of high school. After I graduated, I found a job and moved out. Soon afterwards I met Tzuyu and we got together. I was already beginning to heal, but Sooya didn't. After she graduated from high school, she wanted to get a job and refused to go to college. Both me and my grandparents fought long and hard to convince her."
Taehyung stopped for a moment. He let out a deep sigh.
"But why?" I took the chance to ask. "She was smart, wasn't she? And I know she likes books so why didn't she want to continue with her studies?"
"Can't you guess why?" he replied with a question, staring into my eyes with sadness.
"Don't tell me..." I gasped. "Don't tell me she didn't want to go to college because she didn't want to be a burden?"
I don't even know how I managed to guess this on my first try. Perhaps what Taehyung had just told me about Jisoo's personality and history helped me flesh out a different image of her in my mind. The always cheerful and smiling Jisoo, together with the gloomy and evasive Jisoo... in the end they were both the same person; two sides of the same coin. After all, no one can be happy all the time; that's just simply not possible. I was stupid to think that she didn't have her own sorrows and burdens.
"You're right, Lisa. Sooya didn't want to be a burden to me, who was newly employed, and she didn't want to have her grandparents carry her weight either."
"How did you manage to convince her? Sometimes, she seems like she can be very stubborn."
Hearing my correct assessment, Taehyung began to laugh.
"Indeed, she can be. But I reasoned with her. I told her 'If money is an issue, then go and make some. No one said you have to live your college life without working'. It seemed that she hadn't even taken this option into consideration, because once she thought about working and making her own way, it was easier to talk to her."
"Stupid." I blurted out without thinking.
"Yes, I admit this sister of mine can be very stupid sometimes. I hope you'll forgive her for it." Taehyung laughed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." I said, blushing from embarrassment. What kind of person calls someone's sister stupid right to their face?!
"It's alright. She is stupid, but she is also weak; always trying to do things by herself, not wanting to trouble anyone. That's actually one of the reasons why she learned how to cook. She hassled my grandmother until she finally agreed to teach her."
"She's actually very good at it. Her delicious lunches really saved me many times." I said hastily, in order to erase some of the previous embarrassment.
"Yes, I had the fortune of tasting some of the food she's made, though she never cooked for anyone before. She was surprisingly good at it." Taehyung chuckled. Then his expression changed, the smile being once again replaced with sadness. "I guess it was good that she took the effort to learn. Because soon after she entered college, my grandmother passed away, and my grandfather followed soon after. She was alone in a big house, filled with familiar objects. I can't imagine how she must have felt. By that time, I was already living with Tzuyu. I tried to convince her to move in with us, but she refused, saying she didn't want to be in the way of us newlyweds."
"So that's why she got so many part-time jobs during her college years?"
"Ah, she's told you about that?" Taehyung asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise.
"A little. But she never told me the whole story."
"Ah, yes. I didn't think she would."
The conversation stopped for a moment, each of us deep in our own thoughts. After several seconds, Taehyung broke the silence.
"Lisa, I want to ask you for a favor." He leaned forward and placed a palm over my hand. "Would you please speak to her? Whatever she's going through right now, I am sure it has something to do with you, so please talk to her. She'll never say it upfront, but as long as you're the one to do it, she will eventually open up."
"Taehyung-ssi, I don't think I..." I began, but was suddenly interrupted. Taehyung's thoughts wafted slowly inside my head.
Please, Lisa. I am so worried about her; afraid she might do something stupid. You're very important to her...
I felt a shudder going down my spine. What did he mean by doing something stupid?
"Taehyung, what are you afraid of?" I asked, ignoring his puzzled look. "What do you think she'll do?"
"She'll leave, Lisa." He said bluntly, without beating around the bush. "If she feels like she's a burden to you or that she's making you unhappy, she will leave."
"What?!"
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