Stella knocked on Ben's bedroom door. It was in the middle of the night. She knew it was inappropriate but she couldn't stop thinking about Bianca - Ben's dead sister that nobody had told her about.
The door opened slightly. Ben leaned his head towards the doorframe. His hair was messy and eyes cloudy. He looked exhausted. He was only wearing boxers. Stella did her best to focus on his face. Her mouth got dry and her thoughts confused.
"Hey Stells, what's up?"
"Uhm... " She had forgotten everything that she had planned to say to him. "Can I come in?"
Ben opened the door some more and stepped to the side. Stella walked past him and sat down on the sofa in his room. He sat down next to her.
"Is everything okay?"
"Who is Bianca?" Stella blurted out.
Shit, shit, shit. How could she be so insensitive?! Ben looked raffled.
"How do you know about her?... Of course, Jasper. What did he tell you?"
"Nothing. Just that she was your twin sister and that she is dead. I'm sorry. He was just so mysterious. If you don't want to tell me it's okay."
Ben put his hand on Stella's. She could see pain in his eyes. She put her other hand on top of his.
"It's okay. We're family. You have the right to know. It's just hard to talk about her and it's a tough subject to bring up. I actually thought Ed had already told you about her."
Of course. That makes sense. Ben thought Ed had told her about Bianca, and Ed probably thought Diana had told her about Bianca. Stella moved closer to Ben.
"No. I know nothing."
"She was my twin sister. We were inseparable. Best friends. When we were teenagers she had a tough time. I know it sounds silly, but it was hard growing up rich. When you don't have to worry about bills, trivial problems take over. Private school children are brutal. They took every chance they had to bully someone. You had to wear the correct designer clothes, be invited to the most exclusive events, have straight A grades and also have time to party and be excellent at sports. It was too much for her to handle. She started taking meds to cope with the pressure. I tried to be there for her... but I couldn't." Ben's voice crackled. "She committed suicide. I was the one who found her."
It felt like Stella's heart broke. She didn't know what to say. She threw herself around his neck. She never wanted to let go.
"I'm so sorry Ben. I had no idea. I wish I could carry some of your sorrow."
Stella felt a drop on her shoulder. She felt like a fool. Of course Ben looked at me the same way as he looked at Bianca. She was his sister, just like I am now. I don't need to be worried, I should be grateful. He is the best brother I could ever ask for.
"Don't worry. You have the right to know."
Ben wiped his tears and cleared his throat. They said good night to each other and Stella went back to her room. She still couldn't fall a sleep. Now guilt kept her awake.
The next few days, Ben was busy with work. Stella was nervous he avoided her because of the confrontation. He promised that wasn't the case, but spent all his time at the office. The only time they met was when they had coffee in the morning.
He said it was chaos at work because of an old employee. Apparently he had to fire one of his first employees because he was stealing from the company. Now this guy was going crazy and wanted to sabotage the business as revenge.
Stella missed Ben, but her days were filled with other fun things. She and her mom went shopping for a new wardrobe, she and Tristan went on dates and Viola came by and joined Stella for walks with Winston. She and Ed even had a meeting with Jasper at a café to talk about her returning to school.
Jasper was going to help Stella prepare for school. She quit after junior high school, so even though she was seventeen she would have to start where she left off.
The thought of school was scary. She used to have good grades, but it was such a long time ago that she'd forgotten most things. She was really grateful for Jasper's help. After the wedding he was going to tutor her.
When Stella came home from a dinner walk with Winston she saw Ben sitting on the stairs to the front door. Stella bubbled with joy when she saw him. It looked like he was waiting for her. Even though he had only been busy for a few days, Stella missed him. Above all, she missed the way he made her feel.
Ben ran up to Stella, lifted her up in a hug and span around. She screamed with laughter and Winston jumped and barked around them.
"I've missed you Stells," Ben said and put her down again.
"I've missed you to. How's everything at work? Still chaos?"
"Ugh, I don't want to think about work. I have something much more fun planned for us tonight."
"Really?"
Ben made Stella feel special. Like the world evolved around her.
"Yeah, I'm gonna teach you how to swim."
Stella's mood changed immediately. She was terrified of the water and she didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of Ben.
"No. That's not a good idea. I don't want to."
"Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do. I trust you with my life. You've already saved me once."
"Good. Then trust me with this. Besides, tomorrow we're going to a pool party and Tessa will be there."
"What?" Stella had never been to a party before."Am I invited?"
"Yeah. Kian was very clear on that point. Disturbingly clear."
Stella went to her room and changed into a bikini. When she came down Ben was already in the pool. Stella joined him. She grabbed his neck and he swam out on the deep end with her. He patiently explained to her how to swim and gently held his hands beneath her stomach to help her float.
When Stella arrived at her new house and saw the ocean for the first time, it took her breath away. She had never seen anything so beautiful. When Tessa pushed her in the water, she was literally breathless. It was hard to understand how something so beautiful could be so dangerous.
Stella never thought she would learn how to swim. She didn't even think she would dip her toe in the water again. But with Ben everything and anything was possible. After only a few minutes Stella could swim on her own. It felt amazing, like she was floating in space.
They sat on the poolside.
"I can't believe it was so easy," Stella said, still pumped with the feeling that anything was possible.
"I can," Ben answered. "I knew you'd be great. I'm really impressed you said yes."
"What do you mean? You're the one that convinced me."
Stella gave Ben a light push.
"Yeah, but I never thought you'd actually say yes." Ben laughed. "I thought you'd be terrified of the water after the accident."
"Me neither." Stella moved her hand closer to Ben's. "I probably wouldn't have, if it wasn't for you."
Ben moved his hand even closer. Their fingertips were touching. Something so innocent felt so forbidden. All of Stella's body screamed at her to kiss him. They slowly leaned towards each other. Stella's body was on fire.