Day 20 Cloytober: Memory
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Memories are often a finicky thing. Finicky in the sense that what one remembers, another may not. If humans were God, well...let's just say that their memories would encapsulate every millisecond of their whole existence, including every minor detail that made one who they were. But they aren't...
In a sense, memories are like the world's greatest puzzle. It takes a few to piece the bigger picture together since one human alone will never have all the pieces needed to complete the puzzle.
And this phenomenon only exists amongst humankind because each human values a moment differently.
By putting different weights on each moment, what makes it into our vivid memories, in the end, are the moments that mean the most to us. The life-changing moments.
Humans can experience the same moment but remember vastly different things about it in their memories. That was the beauty of memories in the human world.
Sadly, not all memories are made to be beautiful.
Memories rooted deep in hatred, revenge, negativity often makes a human cold. The atrocities a human could commit then was one that even the devils weren't capable of.
Yet, these humans could relish in those memories with pure satisfaction from time to time. It was truly nauseating to think that someone could be happy causing misery to another and still look back on that as a fond memory. But alas, humans are inherently flawed.
In a skyscraper overlooking Seoul, a woman dressed in a red suit looked out of the glistening windows, swirling the flute of champagne in her hands. Occasionally, she would draw a long sip from the flute, taking her sweet time to savour the delicate liquid before she would snicker.
It was their death anniversary today.
And to think a year ago, she had to fake that smile when she met them at that piano recital.
Nothing was more annoying to the monster personified than the memory of the family in their own happy bubble.
That should have been her. That should have been the life that she should be enjoying. The luxury, the wealth, the happiness. Those belonged to her, not them.
Happiness could only come with wealth, after all.
Who would have known that the Yoon patriarch would choose Yoon Seri, the illegitimate child, out of his own sons? Things would have played out differently if the man had chosen her husband; a husband who didn't want anything to do with her anymore.
"Well, revenge is sweeter when you get to enjoy it alone," Sang-ah muttered to herself before finishing the rest of the bubbling liquid in the flute.
Strutting over to her leopard-print couch, Sang-ah sat down with her usual air of arrogance, cackling as she thought back to that night a year ago.
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A year ago – The night of the accident
It was the prime of the night. Guests from all walks of life sauntered out of the theatre in their overtly ostentatious gowns and suits, having just witnessed another beautiful night of song and grace.
Some were raving about their favourite pianist while others were lecturing the people around them on the intricacies of each masterpiece. The air was alive, a phenomenon carefully curated by the people's love for classical music.
Amongst these guests were a family of three, dressed humbly in their show of support for the pianists under their programme. Donning matching smiles on their faces, the Ri couple greeted some familiar faces, naturally striking up a conversation or two as they gradually moved out of the hall to get to the car park.
Ever since Ri Haneul came into their lives, Yoon Seri had found herself seeking peace and quiet more but was nevertheless bound to her duty as the chairperson. Already, Seri was exhausted, and she would occasionally gaze over at the exit sign which held the promise of a journey home. Next to her, Ri Jeong Hyeok was cradling Haneul gently in his arms, keeping her safe from the rowdy bantering happening right next to them.
One could only imagine their shock when they crossed paths with a woman that they didn't think they would ever meet again. Seri's relationship with Se Hyung wasn't the best, but it had improved drastically since she became a mother and since he cut off Sang-ah's manipulative ideologies for good. Now that the woman who caused many grievances to them was standing right in front of them, Seri truly didn't know what to say.
The protective instinct within him kicked in then and the former military captain subtly moved to shield Seri from Sang-ah, eyeing her warily as he handed Haneul to his wife. The sudden rise of tension punctuated the air thickly, for they had a gut feeling that Sang-ah was up to no good.
"It's been a while." Sang-ah greeted the couple formally with her usual air of cool.
"It has. This meeting is..." Seri swallowed. "Surprising."
Boldly, Seri took a step closer to Sang-ah to prove that she wasn't afraid of her. Her brother's life was in shambles because of this woman and his own idiocy, but it took a true monster to partake in a murder so casually.
Yoon Seri never liked Sang-ah to being with and her gut feeling was never wrong. There was something fishy going on with that woman, and Seri wasn't foolish enough to trust her.
What exactly did she want?
"I was in the area and thought it would be nice to catch a performance. I must say, this is quite an empire you've established here." Sang-ah droned on flippantly.
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have nothing more we wish to say to you. It'll be wise for us to part before I lose my patience." Seri spoke with a smile despite the threat in her voice.
"Suit yourself. Drive safely, Mr Ri. I heard runaway deers are pretty common on such nights. The last thing we would want is..." Sang-ah snickered. "A tragedy on such a snowy night."
If only Seri had listened to her gut that night.
It was unfortunate that the monster won that night.
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In the present
Meanwhile, Devil Yoon and Angel Ri remained none the wiser about the true villain of their past lives. To an angel and devil who couldn't remember much, life carried on normally – or as normal as it could get with the sudden onslaught of memories seeping past the locks in their minds.
Those memories of their past lives came at the most inconvenient times, but they weren't complaining since they were relieved that they were finding parts of themselves again through those memories.
In the wake of their dreams and in the little moments with one another, the devil and angel remembered flashes of their past lives, although neither of them could put a face to their past lover.
There was a scented candle, flickering lights, checkered sheets, grassy patches, a tomato plant with a red bow and a whisper of "piano".
At times they could hear the rush of wind against their ears, as though they had been free-falling through the skies. Except, they weren't alone. Devil Yoon could still remember the comforting feeling of a well-muscled chest pressed to her left cheek, and the feeling of large palm cradling her head gently, shielding her from danger.
But what had they been running from?
There were so many questions and so few answers. If only they knew to put the pieces of their puzzle together, perhaps they could have pieced their past back together.
There were humungous clamshells and sweet soju, and they thought they could see the faces of their former friends and brothers if only they could squint harder.
He remembered the green gate of a house, growing into a dot at the corner of his car's mirror, except, Ri Jeong Hyeok didn't know that he had been driving away from Yoon Seri.
She remembered the coldness of that same gate seeping into the skin of her back and the unexplainable sadness in her chest as she stared unseeingly at an empty house. Except, Yoon Seri didn't know that it was because Ri Jeong Hyeok had left her for the night with a woman to who he was engaged to.
There was a bonfire, corn, sweet potato, and blankets.
At times, the dreams took on a darker tone, consisting of a loud, resounding bang, the sour smell of blood, and a loud helpless cry that presumably came from her as her knees buckled under another man's weight.
The devil didn't know that her angel had the same dream, except his was more peaceful, filled with blissful darkness and the scent of her strawberry scented hair, soothing away the pain tearing through his shoulder.
There were beautiful lights and soft splatters of rain hitting the ground.
There was a snowy day with the relentless drifting of icy cold flakes.
In those dreams, it was amazing how cold they were physically, yet their hearts warmed every inch of their souls, such that the cold never bothered them once in their sweet walk down memory lane.
The soft clatter of a soldier's helmet was always followed by an equally soft baritone, a mere whisper to the devil's ear.
"A single step should be okay." That was what she managed to make out after weeks of having that same dream.
And for Ri Jeong Hyeok? The taste of salty tears was one that he could recall even in his waking moments, for the grief had pounded hard at his heart despite him not knowing what or who he had lost that night.
"Next year, the year after that, and even the one after that, will all be good. Because I'll be thinking about you. I'll be grateful that you were born into this world. I'll be grateful that the person I love is still breathing. That's why your birthday will always be a good day."
Seri would give anything to remember the face whom that voice belongs to, for his words had comforted her immensely even in her next life.
There were couple rings and pinky promises and...more soju.
And the most heart-wrenching dream that they had?
When Seri had reached out for a hand that she could no longer grasp, for her mystery lover had been pulled away forcibly from her. Their hands were trembling back then, and Ri Jeong Hyeok had tried to reach out for her hand again. But alas, fate had a different plan for them.
It would seem Yoon Seri and Ri Jeong Hyeok were getting the little bits and pieces of their former memories back. Ever since Seri sang that lullaby, that was what they had been experiencing.
Even more shocking to them, was the fact that those memories hit them too during their daily interactions with Dae Reul.
It could be the simplest action – a smile, a knock on the car, a little giggle. But there was no denying the fact that their memories held a child too, their child, who Dae Reul reminded them of.
Was it even surprising that they were incredibly drawn to Dae Reul, partly out of curiosity and partly out of affection?
Neither of them knew why, but they had grown increasingly protective of their human, more so than any devil and angel could claim. That protectiveness and affection they felt transcended the usual relationship between the morality guardians and a human, for it was almost an innate instinct rather than a grown fondness.
Regardless, Yoon Seri and Ri Jeong Hyeok chose to continue with their days, ignoring the little tidbits of their past lives that had been teasing and taunting their waking moments. Instead, they focused on guiding Dae Reul to be a good person and developing their own newfound friendship and trust in each other.
That morning was different.
They could feel it in the air even before either of them landed in the human world. When Dae Reul didn't go to school that day, Ri Jeong Hyeok and Yoon Seri sensed that their day would turn out differently.
And the reason why Dae Reul didn't go to school?
Officer Kim, as with all years, decided to take Dae Reul to the cemetery.
They did this every year, at this hour, this day, this season. While Dae Reul had only been accompanying her father for six years, Officer Kim had been doing it for ten.
That morning, the father and daughter walked up the familiar path with white chrysanthemums in their hands, one for each grave that they would be visiting. Little Dae Reul's eyes were round and wide as she observed the different gravestones lined up along the open field.
To some, the cemetery was a place that held much heaviness, for those ageing stone was a reminder of the passing days since they had lost their loved ones. But to little Dae Reul, she saw the cemetery as a connection between them and those who had moved on to their next lives. It was a place of soulful reflection, where people poured out their hearts to those who were and would always be dear to them.
Since she was a baby, her father had always knelt before three particularly beautiful gravestones, bowing respectfully as he spoke to them. It took years for Dae Reul to understand the letters carved onto those gravestones and when she asked who they were, her father told her that they were good people.
It was the same that morning. Officer Kim and Dae Reul respectfully bowed to the gravestones together before the little one laid the white chrysanthemums gently before them. To say Ri Jeong Hyeok and Yoon Seri was confused was a pure understatement.
It wasn't often a devil, and an angel visited a cemetery. To humans, this place of loving words was one that they needed to grief and move on, but to them who has long departed from this world, a cemetery was irrelevant to their lives.
Still, they respectfully kept their distance, sensing that they were potentially trespassing on a rather personal moment. It was the same for Officer Kim's morality guardians who didn't even step past the gates with them.
But the curiosity got the better of Seri when Dae Reul waved at one of the gravestones with a huge smile on her face.
"You're 11 this year! Did you make a wish on the star? I bet you're happy with your eomma and appa now." Dae Reul rambled on.
The mother within her saw Seri stepping closer to their human as Dae Reul kept on talking to the resting child. Behind her, a concerned angel followed the devil, until they were standing right behind the humans.
And they gasped.
How was this possible?