Moonlight trickled in through the open window, a thin sliver of light that cut across his face like a violent scar. The bed covers were in disarray and his legs were tangled in mine, creating a warmth that spread from our kneecaps to our toes. I eased myself gently on to my elbows, resting them across his sallow, firm chest. His eyelids fluttered momentarily before closing softly once again. For a moment, I just stayed still, studying his features; how his nose turned up slightly at the end and the scattering of freckles that encased it, how his cheekbones crossed his face in a defined slant, how incredibly long his eyelashes were. He truly was a work of art.
I scowled. The drink was seriously getting to me now, resulting in a bout of mushiness and a throbbing chest that made me feel love-sick and slushy. I eased myself gently off him and rolled to the empty side of the bed. It was cold. A shiver ran down my spine with the sudden removal of his body heat but I resisted the temptation to snuggle up to his back. Barely.
Music thumped through the floorboards, the shitty kind that makes your heart throb with each bass line. A scream of delight echoed from the back garden and I could distinctly hear my friend, Eloise, singing 'Meat is Murder' from the kitchen. I grinned.
What the fuck was I doing upstairs feeling sorry for myself when I could've been downstairs getting wasted? I perched at the side of the bed, routing through the mess of beer cans and bottles for my black shorts and fishnets. The shorts were in a crumpled heap of his clothes, piled as high as his empty chest of drawers, and I finally found my fishnets dangling from the lampshade on the ceiling. A snort of laughter escaped my mouth as I hopped on to the bed to yank them down, ripping yet another hole in the fabric in the process. Who knows how they ended up there.
After I wiggled into my clothes, I turned back to his still figure on the bed; the only movement being the steady rise and fall of his chest. I kissed him gently on the head. "Nighty night Calum" I whispered.
˚
"Stella, if you have any more of those brownies, you're gonna OD!"
I stuck my tongue out at my best friend, ignoring her words as I opened my mouth wide, looking for another bite.
"Leave the girl alone, El; she can have as many as she wants! Isn't that right, baby?"
I nodded hungrily, whining in impatience for another taste of heaven. Adam smirked as he pressed the chocolatey goodness against my lips and I moaned, not even bothering to shut my mouth while I chewed.
"Jesus, get a room..." Eloise sighed in disgust, but she was smiling while she said it. She was probably just glad that I had come back downstairs and she wasn't alone with all the lads anymore.
"I would get a room with these brownies" I mumbled. "Fuck Calum, he's not made out of chocolate, he can't satisfy my never-ending longing for cocoa".
"Or cannabis" Eloise added, rolling her eyes as I inhaled yet another delight from Adam's hand.
"What? You think these are hash?" Adam said, gesturing towards the plate. "Well, I'm insulted!" But he was grinning from ear-to-ear, his ice blue eyes sparkling with glee. He didn't even look drunk. In fact, the only thing that gave him away was the slight shake of his hand whenever he popped a slice of brownie into my mouth. His words weren't even slurring and Eloise's were, and she hardly drank at all. As for me, I felt light-headed and distant, like I wasn't even in the room at all. Like I was just an observer of the scene. A pinging noise erupted from the kitchen and Eloise bolted off the floor, almost face planting into the door. "My fajitas!" she squeeled. Adam chuckled.
"Calum, I'm bored" I groaned, suddenly pushing the plate away and standing up from the armchair.
"I'm Adam, love".
"Let's do something...something bad!" I said, ignoring Adam entirely. My body was itching for excitement and I knew I probably needed my meds; I hadn't taken the proper dosage in days. I gripped Adam's leg and the look of disappointment that had been etched on his face melted into playfulness. But just as I had gotten my hopes up, I was let down once again.
"I...uh...I should really be getting home; it's late. You can do something with Cal when he wakes up, yeah?"
Adam awkwardly pushed himself from the chair and out the living room, shouting bye to El before slamming the front door. A feeling of deflation pressed against me and I hugged my knees to my chest. Adam had always had a problem with hanging out with me. We used to mess around a lot a few years back but then I met Calum. It didn't help that Adam had never liked Cal either. I never understood why he always had to make such a big deal of it though. I sighed. What was taking the hash so long to kick in? I needed a rush and fast.
Eloise was still in the kitchen, dishing up her fajitas. A couple of Cal and Adam's friends hovered around her, devouring the goodies with their wide eyes.
"Anyone wanna go into town?" I called. They swatted me away with a wave of their hands and I sighed trudging back to the living room.
I grabbed the last brownie before heading out the back door and clambering over the fence. My fishnets got caught in a splinter of wood and a huge hole formed around my knee and up the length of my thigh. The path ahead was pitch black but I knew which way I was going. It was a path I had taken every day for the past year since Calum and I had started seeing each other. It was a longer route back to my house but the park was in between. And who didn't love a stroll through the park at one am?
In all my ventures through the park in the ungodly hours of the morning, I had never crossed paths with anyone. Not even a stray cat. So when I reached my favourite bench and someone was already sitting there, I felt more than a little uneasy. Calum was always lecturing me about walking around the city at night, how I'd be mugged or attacked or who knows what. But I'd never seen anyone on this route home before so I figured that by this stage, I'd never have to deal with it.
Leaves crunched beneath my feet as I headed towards the lone figure, and I cursed as the wind picked up, biting at my bare arms. I had always loved October, but for some reason this year, it was fucking freezing. I routed through the waistband of my underwear, eventually pulling out Cal's lighter and a pack of cigarettes. The lighter had a picture of a naked blonde on it, bent over, showing off her perfectly photoshopped chest. When you pressed a little button on the side, a red glow emerged from the girl's...well you know where. I didn't understand the whole concept of needing a torch on your lighter but Calum thought it was fucking hilarious. I lit up, my hands shaking, the cigarette dangling dangerously between my teeth. A soothing relief surged through me the minute I inhaled. I should've given them up ages ago, even Calum thought I was overly dependant on them. Ironic, considering he was the reason I started.
The figure suddenly coughed, jolting me back to the present moment. I was only feet away from the bench now and I realised that it was a boy. He was bent over some kind of notebook that was spread across his lap and his long coat was buttoned up to his neck. Along with his mop of dark hair, he could've been just a floating head.
By the time I'd reached the bench, he still hadn't noticed me, so I cleared my throat loudly. He jumped in fright, his book flying from his hands and landing at my feet. I smirked, not bothering to pick it up. It was then that I noticed the sunglasses perched on his nose and I scoffed in disbelief. Was this guy completely dim or did he not realise that it was one in the morning? Maybe he was just one of those wankers who thought they were boss wearing leather jackets and sunglasses indoors.
"You stole my spot" I said, gesturing towards the bench. He still hadn't made a move to grab his book and was gazing up at me instead. Well, at least I assume that's where he was looking, couldn't tell with the bloody glasses.
I felt my smirk grow wider as he fought to form a comprehendible sentence. Making people uncomfortable was my favourite past time.
"I...uh...sorry...I...I didn't see your name on it" the boy finally replied, a hint of sarcasm hidden in his heavy Irish accent. And for a split second, he had fazed me. I was sort of expecting him to run a mile the moment he saw me. Most people did; they all knew I was trouble.
I wracked my brains for something smart to reply with but I came up empty handed. Instead, I asked a question that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, like cars from around corners.
"Where're you from?"
It felt like I'd just been slapped in the face. What was wrong with me? What did it matter to me where the guy was from? But it was too late, it had already been asked.
"Cavan" he mumbled, bending down to pick up his notebook. "That's in Ireland."
"I know where Cavan is, I'm not fucking..." I trailed off, my eyes locking on to the book, recognition spreading through me once I realised what he was scribbling in it. The warmth that had suddenly spread from the pit of my stomach and into the tips of my fingers felt like home.
I sat down on the bench, and stubbed out my cigarette on its wood before sliding over to the boy until the whole lengths of our sides were touching. He jerked away from me, almost falling and I grinned, noticing the light flush of pink that coloured his cheeks when I grabbed his arm.
"Can I see" I asked in a sing- song voice, the one I usually used whenever I wanted money off Dad. He was a sucker for it, and clearly this guy was too. He tilted the book towards me and I smiled up at him in thanks, teeth and all. The page was a raggedy mess, notes and lyrics scribbled everywhere, faded eraser markings showing his signs of frustration where he'd made mistakes.
"Jesus, this is a bohemian rhapsody if ever I saw one" I said and the boy laughed lightly. His laugh sounded like the brownies I'd tasted and for a moment, I looked up at him, confusion tying knots in my mind.
"Yeah, I've been trying to write for a while now but it just...well, it doesn't come easy."
"Doesn't come easy?! Dude, it looks like a cat regurgitated all over the page!"
He didn't laugh this time and I ignored the sad sigh that he let out as he slumped back on to the bench, his head tilted towards the sky. The stars were reflected in the dark frames of his glasses.
I grabbed his work and the pencil that was balanced behind his ear. He jumped once again at my touch.
I began to hum the tune under my breath, making slight alterations here and there so that the rhythm became more fluid. I could feel the boy watching me while I worked, probably wondering why the hell I was helping him. I was wondering the same thing.
After what felt like mere seconds, I tossed the copy in his lap and stood up, blood rushing through my skull, making me feel limp. Spots of light danced before me and I closed my eyes to steady myself. When I opened them again, he was staring up at me, concern etched across his face. He looked like he was about to say something so I opened my mouth before he could.
"It should run a little smoother now" I said. With each word, vibrations pounded through my head. Eloise was right. There was such a thing as too many hash brownies. "The lyrics are really good though, keep writing."
I turned to leave, spirals of colour floating past me like fireworks. I smiled in awe, knowing that I must look like a complete mental case.
"Hey" a voice called out. I managed to focus just in time to see the boy standing in front of me, his hand outstretched. There was a little bird perched on his shoulder, a fat one lodged in its beak. It suddenly turned its head to look right at me, its beady eyes making my skin crawl. And when it spoke, I almost screamed at the familiar voice, "You just don't give a fuck about anything, do ya babe?"
"Hey!"
The bird vanished and so did the pretty lights. All that remained was the strange shades boy that stood before me, his hand outstretched. I took it, giggling as I did. For a moment, he just stared down at our entwined hands, unsure of what to do. I began to swing our arms back and forth, laughing at the trail of light that followed.
"Are you okay?"
I suddenly dropped his hand, a feeling of emptiness engulfing me. When was the last time I'd been asked that question?
"I just wanted my pencil back" the boy said, his arm extended once again.
"Oh..."
I should've felt embarrassed but I really didn't. Something about this boy told me he didn't mind that I'd held his hand. I looked down at the pencil that was pressed into my left fist and an idea struck me.
"One sec" I said, pushing past him and plopping back down on the bench. I pushed the pencil into the rotting wood and for the next few minutes, I worked in silence.
"Hey, shades" I said once I was finished part one, "what's your name?"
"Uh...Ross...Ross Farrelly. Why?"
I turned back to the bench, cursing under my breath. Of course he'd have the most difficult letter to engrave in his name. Twice.
I tossed the pencil (well, what was left of it) back to him before standing up and walking away, routing for the cigarettes again.
"What is this?"
I looked back over my shoulder. He was crouched down, trying to read the words.
"You said you didn't see my name on the bench, well there it is. Oh and I guess I don't mind sharing my spot." I shrugged and continued walking, fumbling with the lighter.
"Bye Stella!"
I grinned and turned one final time to face him so that I was walking backwards. I blew out a puff of smoke and a kiss.
"See ya Shades"