I know I promised to update a lot over break but I feel like shit.
I learned that everyone of my friends hate me and I was basically a pity project.
They quit talking to me and when I asked why they told me, "well you always get worked up over little things, like yours constantly calling yourself ugly or fat when you're not, you're too insecure and we can't handle it anymore."
I can't help it that I've always had people judging me, but having the people I've gotten support from for ten years give up on me -- it's killing me.
Then they proceed to go out together and flaunt it everywhere, even telling me how good it was without me.
Because that helps with me already feeling like I'm not good enough.
And fuck I want to write but I honestly feel like I can't do anything, I don't know I've just been really insecure and suicidal. Like I can't do anything without flipping out and it's driving me crazy.
And I have nobody to turn to now that my friends admitted how they feel and left for a fucking road trip.
So I have been crying for hours ( this all begun three days ago, and I can't seem to get over it ) like a fucking baby, and I hate it.
I'll update later tonight or maybe tomorrow, I don't know I just need a break from everything so I'll probably sleep for a few hours, maybe watch mean girls and attack my dad's ice cream.
I just can't handle myself right now, and if you ever need anybody to talk to you can come to me.
ily nuggets. Xx