Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

By Puppy1899

207K 15.5K 5.5K

Featured in YARomance's 'Love-Hate' reading list as of 01/24/2022 Featured in TeenFiction's 'Funny Bones' rea... More

[book 1] chapter one: an introduction of sorts
[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour
[book 1] chapter three: my neighbour steals my chocolate milk
[book 1] chapter four: drunken dani
[book 1] chapter five: i commit a felony
[book 1] chapter six: i commit another felony
[book 1] chapter seven: the car ride of death
[book 1] chapter eight: study buddy from hell
[book 1] chapter nine: my twin gets in a fight
[book 1] chapter ten: i bunk with a psychopath
[book 1] chapter eleven: test time
[book 1] chapter twelve: semi-finals
[book 1] chapter thirteen: my window gets smashed
[book 1] chapter fourteen: confessions & revelations
[book 1] chapter fifteen: i'm officially an idiot
[book 1] chapter sixteen: kisses & awkward situations
[book 1] chapter seventeen: the cold shoulder
[book 1] chapter eighteen: so it begins
[book 1] chapter nineteen: the real james hastings
[book 1] chapter twenty: blast from the past
[book 1] chapter twenty-one: i unload my baggage
[book 1] chapter twenty-two: the search for my father
[book 1] chapter twenty-three: the ugly truth
[book 1] chapter twenty-four: the untold story of cade
[book 1] chapter twenty-five: field trip to penbrooke
[book 1] chapter twenty-six: niko's dirty little secret
[book 1] chapter twenty-seven: the birds & the bees
[book 1] chapter twenty-eight: ignorance is bliss
[book 1] chapter twenty-nine: i'm dating a liar
[book 1] chapter thirty: the other new neighbour
[book 1] chapter thirty-one: my mom ruins my relationship
[book 1] chapter thirty-two: finals
[book 1] chapter thirty-three: i commit my third felony
[book 1] chapter thirty-four: stitches & broken hearts
[book 1] chapter thirty-five: breakups & makeups
[book 1] chapter thirty-six: election day
SEQUEL?!
[book 2] chapter one: welcome back
[book 2] chapter two: i become a convicted felon
[book 2] chapter three: ain't no party like a parker party
[book 2] chapter four: oh, niko
[book 2] chapter five: the end of the summer solstice
[book 2] chapter six: nothing rarer than a blissful dani
[book 2] chapter seven: we meet the future mrs. parker
[book 2] chapter eight: i get a mashed potato facial
[book 2] chapter nine: late-night rendezvous
[book 2] chapter ten: off to penbrooke
[book 2] chapter eleven: the curious case of leila
[book 2] chapter twelve: we meet the future mrs. parker...again
[book 2] chapter thirteen: dani parker, city councillor
[book 2] chapter fourteen: i make a fool of myself
[book 2] chapter fifteen: ring the bell, it's time for wedding planning hell
[book 2] chapter sixteen: nothing like some sisterly advice
[book 2] chapter seventeen: the boneheaded boys have a brawl
[book 2] chapter eighteen: dinner disaster
[book 2] chapter nineteen: just desserts
[book 2] chapter twenty: secrets
[book 2] chapter twenty-one: blackout
[book 2] chapter twenty-two: truth or dare
[book 2] chapter twenty-three: the aftermath
[book 2] chapter twenty-four: alex becomes a smitten kitten
[book 2] chapter twenty-five: literal heartache
[book 2] chapter twenty-six: sleepover with holden
[book 2] chapter twenty-seven: pre-rehearsal dinner mayhem
[book 2] chapter twenty-nine: betrayal
[book 2] chapter thirty: nothing but the truth
[book 2] chapter thirty-one: the sting of a friendship breakup
[book 2] chapter thirty-two: my boyfriend meets my dad
[book 2] chapter thirty-three: alex and i share a secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-four: i become the most hated parker
[book 2] chapter thirty-five: my tires get slashed
[book 2] chapter thirty-six: when opportunity knocks
[book 2] chapter thirty-seven: i rescue two drunkards
[book 2] chapter thirty-eight: brenton's dirty little secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-nine: holden gives relationship advice
[book 2] chapter forty: no ship like friendship
[book 2] chapter forty-one: our favourite narc pays a visit
[book 2] chapter forty-two: the bachelor(ette) party
[book 2] chapter forty-three: mistakes and regrets
[book 2] chapter forty-four: old habits
[book 2] chapter forty-five: a new proposition

[book 2] chapter twenty-eight: the rehearsal dinner

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By Puppy1899

THE NIGHT OF the rehearsal dinner had finally arrived, and I was nervous as hell. I had invested so much time and energy to plan this, I was hoping tonight would be nothing shy of perfect. Since the bride and groom were spending the night in the Seychelles Banquet and Hotel where the dinner was happening, Vanessa booked us a swanky room to get ready and save driving time.

I had just finished doing my makeup and was fastening pins in my straightened hair to keep it tucked behind my ears all night. For my outfit, I had decided on a blush pink jumpsuit with a tie-around bow in the front. It had long fitted sleeves, and the jumpsuit clung to my body perfectly. The only issue was the plunging neckline which I didn't mind, but I was hoping I could slip out of here before Brenton saw it. I was in the middle of putting on my heels when he walked in.

Brenton stepped into the room, paying me no mind as he adjusted his cuffs. "Dan, what time is din... You're not wearing that."

"Not this again," I groaned. "You can't keep telling me what to wear, baby b—"

"Seventeen motherf—"

"Whatever," I dismissed. "I'm already stressed as is, and I don't need the cleavage police making it worse.

"Fine," he succumbed. "But if anyone—"

"Stares at me too long you'll kill them. Yeah, yeah, I've heard this speech before."

"You're lucky I care for you," he snarled. "Ungrateful bitch."

"You're the best baby brother, Willy!"

"You promised you'd stop calling me that," he whined.

"It's not like anyone heard," I said with a wave of my hand.

"Dani, it's time to go downstairs," Alex said, peeking his head in the room. "You too, Willy."

"I'm going to murder you in your sleep," Brenton growled.

~*~

By the time we entered the banquet hall most of the guests were already there. I glanced around the space, pleased with how everything looked. Guests chatted among themselves while soft music played in the background, and servers were walking around offering small samples of food to everyone. Everything was perfect... Well, almost everything.

In any other situation, I would have paid no attention to Leila's table, except that my boyfriend was sitting beside her. I marched up to their table and was greeted with a smile from the she-devil herself.

"The dinner's about to start," she said. "Shouldn't you go get dressed?"

"Leila," James warned. He stood up and kissed my cheek. "You look absolutely incredible."

While I would have loved for my boyfriend to continue showering me with compliments, I was more fixated on why he was sitting at Leila's table. My question was answered when I saw his name card on the table.

"Who put that there?" I demanded.

James looked confused. "I thought you did."

I shook my head. "No, I specifically put you over..." I pointed at his seat but slowly lowered my hand when I saw Holden sitting in it.

"Why's he in my seat then?" James demanded.

"I..." I locked eyes with Leila. "You."

She batted her eyelashes innocently. "What about me?"

"Why'd you move the guests around?"

She tittered at my question. "Why would I put Holden at your table instead of your boyfriend? Isn't that a little, I don't know, weird?"

"Yeah," James agreed. "It is."

"You're supposed to be at my table," I told him. "I put in all of this work to make tonight perfect and she just had to ruin it!"

James placed his hands on my shoulders and looked down at me. "Hey, it's fine, I believe you. I'd love to sit with you but I think it might be too late to change any seats." He gestured at the hall which was now filled with guests.

I frowned at him. "This was supposed to be our night."

James clutched my hand with the promise ring on it, and he kissed my knuckles. "Nothing's going to change that. The night's still young."

Someone came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. "We're starting soon, so take your seat," Niko said. "You did a great job, by the way."

"Thanks," I said glumly. I smiled at James before returning to what was supposed to be our table. Mom, Adam, Alex, and Holden were already seated, so I sat on the chair that was assigned to me.

"Why aren't you guys together?" Holden asked me.

I aggressively slapped my clutch on the table. "Because Leila won't leave his side."

He chuckled nervously. "You're not making me your date, are you? Because I'm really hoping to seduce one of the singles here."

I smacked him with my clutch.

"I'm kidding! I'll stick around," he promised.

Brenton approached our table and gestured for Holden to get up when he saw him.

Holden shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I could go sit with Amber."

"She's invited?" Brenton asked disbelievingly.

"Of course, she's my best friend," I answered.

"Fine," Brenton grumbled.

Holden stood up. "Cool."

"Not you, asshat." Brenton placed his hand on his best friend's shoulder and forced him back down in his seat. "Not after you were alone in the closet with her."

"Dude, nothing happened," Holden testified. "I got more action from your... never mind."

"I hate you guys," Brenton said before sitting on Holden's other side. "There's going to be food at this, right?" he asked Holden.

His best friend looked just as clueless as him. "Not sure, none of my relationships ever made it this far."

I rolled my eyes at him, and I had to resist the urge to smack my palm against my face. I was surrounded by idiots.

~*~

The rest of the rehearsal dinner was a huge success. Dinner was served, embarrassing toasts that had no chance of being presented at the actual wedding were shared today, and everyone was enjoying dessert and the open dance floor. I had spent most of my evening running around to ensure everything was perfect, and when I finally had a spare moment I caught up to James.

"There's my wedding planner extraordinaire. Have you eaten?" When I shook my head, James handed me a plate of assorted cookies. "They're small and not messy, so gobble up."

I shot him a grateful smile as I annihilated the plate of cookies. "By chance, do you have any..." My voice trailed off when he handed me a glass of water. "You're definitely getting laid tonight."

James, who was drinking his own water, choked on it, earning a laugh from me.

I patted his cheek sympathetically. "I'll give you a warning next time." I set the glass down on the table and glanced at the floor filled with couples dancing. Hell, even Alex was dancing with Hailey... who wasn't on the guest list. I made a mental note to scold Alex for sneaking her in later. "Want to go dance?" I offered.

James held my hand and twirled me around. "You can't laugh if I fall on my face."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I'll just record it with a blank expression."

We both laughed as we made our way to the dance floor. We were literally one step away when James' eyes widened and he cursed. He walked back to his table and I followed him to see a buzzed Leila appear.

"Hey, guys!" she slurred. She almost fell but James was quick to catch her. It was too bad, I wished she fell.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, grabbing the glass from her hands. "Your stepdad will kill you if he sees you drunk." He slung her arm over his shoulder and shot me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I..."

"I get it," I told him. "Go be her knight in shining armour."

He eyed me strangely as if waiting for me to blow up. "Are you mad?"

I stepped forward and kissed him. "How can I be mad that my boyfriend is the most considerate guy out there?"

I vaguely remembered Vanessa mentioning that Leila and Victor were also staying at this hotel tonight, so I assumed that was where James would take her.

I took a seat at their now empty table as I watched James drag Leila out of the banquet hall. When I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see Holden.

"Care to dance, Parker?"

I rolled my eyes in response.

"You've been giving me that reaction all night. I'm starting to get the vibe that you don't like me."

I placed my hand on my chest and faked a gasp. "What gave it away?"

Holden chuckled as I stood up. "How are you holding up?"

I looked away to avoid eye contact. "I don't want to ruin a nice night by talking about her."

"Suit yourself," he said. "You know I'm here if you want to vent."

"Thanks." I glanced down at the table and noticed something shiny under a napkin. I lifted the napkin and saw a cell phone. I powered it on and nearly gasped when I saw a selfie of Leila.

"What are you going to do?" Holden asked.

I snorted. "Leave it here and hope the servers accidentally throw it out."

He gave me a chastising look.

"I should return it, shouldn't I?"

"That would be the morally correct thing to do, yes."

I wasn't thrilled, but I took Leila's cell phone and exited the banquet hall in search of an elevator. Once inside, I had no idea which floor they were on, but since Victor was loaded I assumed it was one of the higher up floors. I pressed the button for the fourteenth floor and when I got off, I walked up and down the hallway in search of James, Leila, Victor, or Vanessa. I was about to give up and return to the elevator, but I stopped when I heard laughter. I followed the sound until I reached a suite with its door half open. James and Leila were inside.

"Come on, Lay, it's time for bed," James said in an exasperated tone.

"I don't want to sleep," she whined. "I want to dance!"

"You should've thought of that before you decided to get wasted," he tutted.

She pouted at him, making me want to punch her in the face. "You're so mean to me, J."

"I'm mean because I care. Now go to bed," he said sternly.

"Are you kidding? I can't wrinkle this dress!"

Wow, even inebriated this girl still had a sense of care for her clothing. It was pretty commendable, I couldn't lie.

James rummaged through her suitcase and held up a purple nightgown. "Here, you can wear this."

"Can you help me? My zipper's stuck."

Oh, I bet it was.

James helped unzip her dress and then handed her the gown. "Go change."

I found myself smiling when James turned around while Leila changed. He sat on a chair in her room as he waited for her to finish.

"Why'd you pick purple?" the aforementioned bratty bitch demanded, clad in just a bra and matching underwear. "I hate purple!"

James sighed. "Lay, please get dressed."

"So you can go back to your girlfriend?" she spat in a bitter tone.

"Yes, exactly." He paused. "I feel terrible I didn't get to spend time with Dani tonight."

"What about me?" she demanded, still not dressed.

"Come on, you're different," James answered, still facing the other direction.

"How?"

"She's my girlfriend, Lay. Don't make me pick."

"Fine, I'll pick for you."

I was wondering what she meant by that and it seemed like James did as well because he turned around. "What does that even..."

He was cut off when she climbed on top of him and kissed him.

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from making a sound as I watched in horror. I wanted to leave and go hide, but a part of me wanted to wait and see James' response. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in when James instantly pushed her off and rose to his feet.

"I'm only letting that pass because you're drunk. Goodnight, Leila."

"James, wait!" she cried, running after him.

He was headed for the door so I had to leave, but when I tried to dart, my pant leg got caught in the door hinge. I tugged endlessly on my jumpsuit, not even caring if it ripped, and thankfully at the last second I was able to free the fabric. Just as I yanked my pant leg out, James exited Leila's suite.

He blinked when he saw me. "What are you doing here?"

I waved her cell phone in the air. "Leila forgot this."

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked.

"I just got here," I lied.

James nodded his head slowly. "She's in no state to have her phone right now. You should just give it to Vanessa."

"Okay, sure."

We walked to the elevator and we both stepped inside. James didn't say a word but I could tell he was upset because of the way his jaw was taut. I cupped his cheek and looked up at him, hoping he would tell me what had happened.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," he answered instantly, making my heart drop to my feet. 

I tried to hide the disappointment on my face as I watched the elevator doors close. 

"Actually..." I raised my eyebrows in anticipation. "You can't get mad, okay?"

"You can tell me anything," I assured him.

"Leila kissed me." James paused, waiting for me to flip out. When I didn't he slowly continued talking. "She was just vulnerable and drunk, and... I don't know."

"Did the kiss mean anything?" I asked him.

"Of course not," he replied so quickly I wasn't sure if I had properly heard him. He rested his forehead against mine. "I love you, okay?"

"Then I believe you." 

James wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. As perfect as this moment felt, I couldn't shake off the sinking feeling in my chest.


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