Kaydon
I didn't leave. I think I'm about to.
My phone rings again since I hung up on him while he called the first time during their fourth match. My leg is bouncing up and down as I sit on the side of the sidewalk, waiting. I answer and inhaled a sharp breath.
"Harry?"
"Hey, son!" he says happily and I shake my head in disgust. The game's over and Sierra is going to freak out. Please don't let it be now.
"What do you-" I was interrupted by Ty and Blake running over to me breathlessly. They're both in a disheveled state and I put Harry on mute.
Blake puts a hand on my shoulder. "You need to go back in there, Sierra's looking for you!" he says and I want to, I do but Harry is in the phone. I could be leaving right now. They see the phone in my hand and my hesitant face. Ty shakes his head fast and looks around for that familiar car.
"No, you're not-" he trails off and starts pacing around us. I try to 6 him but he steps away.
"Ty."
"You can't leave now! Sierra needs you right now. She just won the game of her life and you're just going to leave? Just go in there and give her a hug, a kiss, a high-five, just something! Don't leave her like that." he rambles and I just stay silent and still. I want to so bad but Harry's words cut the silence we were in.
"I'm almost here, alright Kaydon?" he says through the phone and I dart my eyes directly towards the guys. They have wide eyes and I unmute quickly.
"I haven't even packed yet," I began and he laughs, his voice rumbling through the phone.
"I'm driving you home so you can pack! You did say you were going to their game didn't you?" he questions me and I know he's right. I can't do fucking anything about it now. He hangs up and I almost throw my phone onto the ground.
Blake stays silent, surprisingly. He would've called Harry back to yell at him but he stands there silently. I see sadness flooding into his eyes and my heart aches seeing him like this. It was like when we had to leave back then. He has that same look he had when he saw his sister cry.
Ty puts a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry." he says, barely a whisper and I don't know what to do. What do you do when two of your best friends who don't usually cry, start to cry?
I just shake my head vigorously, telling them no. "I'm not leaving, okay? Don't fucking go all teary on me. I'll tell him I'll stay. You guys are right, Sierra needs me. I'll be in there just give-" I stop to breathe, and I put my hands on the back of head, walking back and forth.
"Just give me time, okay?" I say and I urge them to go inside to tell Sierra I'll be fine. They look at me with a hesitant look but I wave them to go. Blake nods slowly, dragging Ty behind him before turning back. I sit on the pavement again with my head resting in my hands.
I hear the sound of a car pulling up and I look up to see the familiar black car he always drove around around in. My heart drops into the bottom of my stomach and I gulp nervously, looking back at the school.
He steps out in a sleek black suit with black sunglasses on and his posture is almost perfect. His smile forms when he sees me standing up and he gives me a hug. I grit my teeth and try to force myself to smile back at him.
"Harry," I greet and he nods while looking around.
"Come on now, we can't be late. I want you to get there as soon as possible." he urges me and I stop him still waiting for them to come out of the school.
"Harry, wait-"
He stops in his tracks, taking off his sunglasses. "We can't afford to wait, Kaydon. We have things to do and prepare for." he interrupts me and my blood boils. Do I have a fucking choice?
He sees my hesitation and steps forward, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Staying is not an option. I won't hesitate to make your friends have a miserable life."
I take in a sharp breath and I glare at him with fire within me. I honestly don't have a choice. I love them all so much and I can't seem to put them in that position. I sigh, and started walking to the passenger seat.
"It'll be great, son!" he pats my back and I suppress the urge to punch him in the fucking nose.
**
Do I pack shoes? What do I need to put in this fucking bag? I have 10-15 minutes to pack and get my ass out before Harry makes a big deal and ruins my friends' lives.
I shove random t-shirts and hygiene products in my duffel bag. My eyes immediately go to the book Sierra lend to me after I flipped through it a couple times. It's called Shatter Me and I found it interesting. She said she was in love with like this character named Aaron Warner or something.
After listening to the quotes she remembered that he said, I would be in love too, just saying.
I grab it and put it gently in my backpack before zipping it close. I close my closet door and took a look around my messy room. I won't be seeing this for a while. I look over to the window where Sierra and I message almost every night.
That gives me an idea.
I go to my journal and rip out a page of blank notebook paper. Grabbing the nearest pen, I click it and start writing. I let my words pour out onto the paper and I almost cry from the last sentence I wrote. I put it in an envelope. I crumple up a small piece of paper and put it in there too. Licking it close, I tape it to my window and put a sign saying, "Open me."
I let out a breath and started walking down the stairs out to the front yard. God, I'm going to miss that fucking smile so much, what am I going to do?
Sierra
"Are you guys okay?" Parker asks as Ty and Blake run up to us as we started grabbing our things to head out. I got a lot of congratulations and I smile wearily back. I just can't believe he's gone.
Ty looks at Blake nervously but Blake shrugs it off cooly. "We ran around the whole school looking for you guys!" and I can tell he's lying.
"You've been in the gym-" Cam starts but shuts up when she realizes something. "Where's Kay?"
Parker's jaw hangs open and Blake immediately signals her something. She closes it and smiles a fake smile and went all quiet. These are the worst liars I have ever met.
I roll my eyes. "Where is he?" I ask, a but more irritated this time. They're all quiet. Odd. They would usually say something funny and then tell me where he is.
Blake speaks first, "Well he isn't here," he begins and Ty scoffs with a oh really?, look.
"No shit, is he up in fucking Uranus?"
Blake starts to giggle after Ty said Uranus and I groan, looking for the keys to my car. The others step to the side a bit and started talking very quietly. I try and listen to the conversation but it's quite hard when they whisper and shout at each other.
"He fucking what?!" Parker shouts and then slaps her hands over her mouth as I turn to her with raised eyebrows. She laughs nervously and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear while turning away.
"I mean, he actually went to Uranus?" she tried to cover up but Ty slides his hands up his hair frustratedly.
I grab my keys and started towards the door out into the parking lot. I'm angry, actually, annoyed that he didn't fucking stay. He said that he'll be in the stands supporting us. Where did he go?
"Sierra!" a chorus of voices kept on calling for me and I wave them off.
"Just meet at my house, alright?" I say hurriedly and I start my car up. Maybe he's at home. If he is, I'm going to have a nice little chat with him.
**
I park my car and locked the door. My stuff is still in the trunk and as I was about to go open it, I hear a door close on the right of me and I turn my head to see the back of a brown haired boy.
He eventually turns around and meets my gaze. That boy is Kaydon. His face drops and it looks like I punched him in the gut. A backpack was on his back and a duffel bag was in his arms and I immediately leave my car to go to him.
Behind me, I hear people getting out of their cars and I hear the chatting of the rest of the group quiet down as they see me walking up to him.
"Kaydon!" I say, standing in front of him. He looks upset and conflicted. I see him staring behind me and I turn around to see Blake and Ty gulp nervously. Cam and Parker are silent and weary as they watch us.
"So he isn't on Uranus, surprise." Blake mumbles slowly and Cameron smacks him upside on the back of his head. I turn back around and looked from the duffel bag and back to him.
"What's going on?"
He shuffles nervously and another car door opens and closes but this time, the person coming out of the car was a man I did not want to see.
What the fuck is happening?
He's wearing a freshly ironed suit with sunglasses on top of his head and Kaydon becomes tense. I stare at Harry as he walks towards us and I feel Cameron's hand on my shoulder. "We'll be inside the house," she whispers to me softly, giving me a reassuring squeeze and they all walk away to my house with sorry looks to me.
Harry grabs the duffel bag and gives me a quick smile. I wish I could slap it off of his face. Kaydon sighs and we wait till Harry gets into the car.
"Sierra, let me explain." he starts to say and I hold a hand up stopping him. I look at him right into the eyes in silence. He stops and just stares right back at me with guilt and regret swimming in his eyes.
"Are you leaving?" I ask. He inhales a sharp breath and doesn't say a word.
Why didn't he tell me? My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest and it's being stomped on every second whenever he doesn't respond. The silence hurts me more than the heartbreak I feel.
"Sierra," he begins but I step back. His eyes have a shimmer of hurt and I almost laugh.
"You promised. You said you would be in the stands. You said you would be there. I thought things were different, Kaydon." I said, my voice cracking and he steps closer to me.
"I wanted to tell you-"
"Then why didn't you!" I shout. Tears were forming but I didn't dare to let them fall. "You should've! We could've worked it all out. I would've understood!"
"Would you?" he asked me, loudly. His eyes were darkening and his whole aura just flipped. "Would you have understood?"
I swallow this clump forming in my throat.
"Because you don't seem to give a shit about what I say. Let me fucking explain before I leave and break your damn heart again, okay?" he cups my face and I don't know how to feel.
We're nearly tipping over the ledge and we're just a few moments away from falling.
He sighs, resting his forehead against mine. "I didn't have a choice. If I did, I would've been congratulating you, hugging you, ki-" he sucks in a breath.
"I would've been there. Trust me, I wanted to run back inside to just see the joy on your faces, but guess what? I couldn't. If I chose to stay, your lives would've been miserable. I didn't want to hurt you again. I couldn't bare to see you in pain again." his voice started getting even more quiet and I almost melt from his touch. Tears were falling and I couldn't feel any single emotion in me.
"You're already seeing the pain, Kay." I whisper and he lets out a shaky breath. "It hurts more that you were going to leave without letting me know."
"I know," he mumbles. "I know and I'm sorry. I-i have to go." he suddenly pulls away and my eyebrows furrowing confusion. He doesn't even hesitate and he starts going without a goodbye. Without a see you later.
This bitch is not leaving without saying anything else. What the fuck? I try to walk but he holds out a hand stopping me. He reaches the car and I use the last part of me, in my heart, to just have one goodbye or message.
"Kaydon!" I shout and he stops. "Is that all you're going to say? Do I even get a hug, a goodbye, a note? Are you just going to go without saying anything?"
**
"I can't believe you,"
I just hear Harry close the front door and I didn't even hear any of the boys say goodbye as they go to the car.
It was like a part of me was going with them and I was never earning that back. They were the other halves of me. My family, my friends, everything. But no goodbye.
No hug.
Nothing.
The worst part is that he didn't fight back Harry to go inside. He just accepted it.
**
He doesn't answer. He opens the car door, hops in, and closes it. The window was still open and I barely
make it before whispering the words I knew that would break me.
"I can't believe you." I say. "I can't seem to get a single goodbye from you anymore can't I?"
That's when everything started to crumble. Like an earthquake started shaking the whole world and the only thing that I could feel was the rocks beneath me rumbling. The car just drives away. The fucking car drove away.
I don't know what happens next. I just feel myself walking step by step to my house, turning the doorknob. I feel the stares of everyone else as they turn from the window to the door.
I feel the embrace of Cameron and Parker. I feel the pity of Ty and Blake as I sit on the couch all numb. The only thing I could really feel was the loss. The loss of my best friend. The loss of him again.
Does he feel the same? Does he feel the heartbreak in his heart like I am? I never once thought that I would've been heartbroken for Kaydon leaving again, but here I am. Here I am sobbing into my best friends' arms. Here I am crying over the boy I loved.
Once again.
**
a/n
unedited
im so sorry this chapter is all over the place! ill do some better ones next
so.. how do yall feel?????