If you were to ask me what I was feeling right now, I couldn't tell you. The weather made me catch a cold.
My eyes are constantly heavy, I get headaches, and my throat is dry. When my mom found me in this position, she forced me to stay home. The last time I looked this awful was when I was in middle school and suffering from the flu. I missed a week of school as a result of it.
Suddenly, my bedroom door gently opened, and Lia appeared, not empty-handed.
I got up quickly, causing me to feel dizzy and fall back.
Lia eyed me from a distance, "Hey uh... are you feeling alright?" she said, coming closer to me.
"Huh?! Oh yeah, why?" I closed my eyes and dozed back off. I felt a sudden touch on my forehead. I blinked my eyes open to see Lia kneeling before me.
"I said I'm fine," I swatted Lia's hand away, and she gave me a displeased look, which made me feel guilty. "I'm surprised you're touching me after last night," I joked, attempting to shift the mood in the room.
"You're burning up, Binnie," she sighed softly and looked at me with concern.
"Go away, I, look like shit right now."
Lia merely rolled her eyes, "Here, my mom made this for you. She says it will help your upset stomach." She sat down on the bed next to me.
I attempted to sit up, but my entire body shouted no. As she helped me up, she stared at me with even more concern in her eyes.
I took a glance at the container she was holding. She opened it, but I quickly shielded myself away as a wave of nausea from the scent hit me. The mere thought of food made me feel much worse.
"I'm not hungry," I said, my voice raspy and barely audible. "Please let me sleep," I rolled back into my bed and cuddled up under the blankets, masking my face of misery.
"Binnie, you need to eat. I know you're tired, but you need to eat," Lia said as she sat on the side of the bed and placed the bowl of soup on the nightstand. "How are you going to get better?"
I just wanted her to leave my room. I let out an exhausted sigh. Yes, my body ached all over, but not for the reason she believes, and eating oatmeal won't make me feel any better.
Lia lifted the covers off my shoulders and smiled encouragingly at me, and instinctively, I smiled back. "Sit up."
I sat up and leaned against my headboard, as she had instructed. She picked up the bowl again and spooned some oatmeal into my mouth.
"You don't have to feed me," I complained as I accepted the mouthful. "I'm not a baby."
Lia gave me the spoon, and my fingers closed clumsily around it as I accepted it from her grasp.
I ate in silence, preferring not to conversate with her. She stayed on her phone the whole time making sure to look at me every couple of seconds. She was texting away. I assume it was Jeno.
The bowl was soon empty, and I was yawning. I put the empty bowl on my bedside table and crawled back under my covers, "You can go now."
"Why are you so grumpy? I know you're sick, but I'm just trying to help you."
"I'll feel better if you let me sleep," I mumbled. I'd also feel better if she dumped Jeno.
Lia picked up my blanket. She snuggled up against me, using my arm as a pillow, and wrapped the blanket around both of us. "All right, let's go to bed." She closed her eyes and shifted her weight onto my arm.
I touched the side of her cheek, causing her eyelids to open. She smiled as she glanced at me.
This girl is killing me.
I forcefully sat up in bed. "I can't do this anymore."
She jumped up as well, her eyes wide open, in response to my unexpected outburst. "What's wrong?" There was a slight panic in her voice.
"Why are you here?"
"Because you're my friend, and I want to take care of you."
"A friend? That's it?"
Lia looked puzzled, "What?"
"I like you," I said bluntly.
Lia went silent and her expression dulled. "Hey...Soobin. Stop joking," She gave an awkward laugh.
"How long are you just going to keep seeing me as a joke?" I spoke up louder than I intended to.
"What?" Recognition dawned on her face.
"Can't we be more? We've known each other since birth. Lia, that's 18 years. I've been in love with you for 18 years." My voice became more passionate, and I tilted my head slightly to the side. "Am I not a man to you? Do you feel nothing for me?"
"Soobin," she whispered.
"I keep playing it cool because I've got enough practice, but if you felt my heart right now, you'd see how crazy you make me feel." Cliché enough, I gripped my shirt and placed my hand on my heart.
"Every day, I follow you around, making it clear that I like you. Every morning, I buy you food and take you to school. I helped you flirt with another guy hoping that one day you would like me back."
Lia averted her eyes from me. There was a long pause before she stuttered. "I..I-I guess I was very clueless. I'm sorry I didn't know. I'm sorry If I made things confusing."
"You're sorry?" I huffed and looked away from her.
"Soobin." She paused again. "Can't we just be friends? We've been together for 18 years because we were always just friends. Can't we just stay like that?"
I paused, looking away for a moment. I knew this would happen. I should have just stayed silent. "Okay," I said in a soft tone and nodded my head slightly.
Tears of frustration threatened my eyes, burning the corners, but I quickly blinked them away. "You're right. We're just friends. Sorry for making things confusing." The seconds of nauseous came back as I fell to the side and sighed, turning my back towards her.
"I have homework I should finish...uhm, let's talk later." She said in a soft tone. I could hear her lightfoot steps trail out the room, followed by the gentle slam of the door.
My headache was worse than before. I shut my now burning eyes.
I hate this.
© -midzyspider