First off I wanted to thank you all for 8k reads!? Like how crazy is that!? It's amazing how incredible you all are, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3
Now onto the part 2 of the Non-binary POV
Let's get into it!
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-"I'll stay.."
The words muffled into the crook of my neck, blended with her tears. I tried my best to comfort her, though I have never been good at that. I've always learned to not show emotion while in the presence of other people, so the same went for them around me.
"Let's get inside, I'll make us some tea, hmm?"
She leaned back and looked at the stains her mascara had created on my shirt. Her fingers brushing over them slowly while regaining her solid persona.
My hand took hers softly, beginning to walk my way back up the stairs backwards. I tried my best to not fall while walking, keeping the eye contact for I wanted her to feel safe with me. She looked down a my hand and then up to my eyes, choosing to only nod as an answer.
We slowly walked back up the stairs, though at one step I accidentally misstepped and began to fall backwards. Everything stopped, her hand under my waist, the other under my thigh to stop me from hitting the ground.
A small dent was all I could feel when we landed, her body touching mine gracefully. Suddenly, there was not sadness in her eyes, they looked more panicked, as someone who had just let everything go and was waiting for results.
"Falling already?"
The tone came off as mocking which I found odd in this situation. I merely nodded before trying to steady myself, her hand still clutching my waist as we stood outside my front door.
"All good..."
I wasn't, not even close. It shocked me how my perception of her could've changed so much in such a small period of time. Just a few seconds ago she was hugging me tightly, crying her eyes out over how unfair this world is.
But now, she's the one looking at me as if our position were switched. One of my hands reached for the handle on the door, though my eyes never left hers. Carefully we walked into the building, closing the door behind us.
Her coat almost seemed to hang itself when we stood in the hall, the speed made it seem like she felt safe. We continued through the hall to the living room, the reality of the situation started to hit me.
"I'm sorry for the mess.."
The living room had papers scattered over the whole table some boxes in the corner and a few water glasses here and there. She turned around and looked at me like I was laying some joke on her.
"You call this a mess? You should see my cave.."
Though I found it quite sad that she'd refer to her cave as 'a mess' I couldn't help but smile when she began laughing a little I wonder what she meant so I asked her.
"Could you elaborate on that?.. sorry it's a stupid question, you don't hav-"
"My cave is a mess, inside and out. The walls are covered with pages of newspapers, like if they'd been carefully glued there. On the ground lay jackets, jeans and small letters from people I make up, anyone that would listen to me. They form a small passageway so that I can get to the center where I finally find my chair, my safe spot. A chair bound in leather with a night stand next to it. I always imagine the nightstand with a few books laying on it, but I don't even read, that's how messy it is! The fact that I make up things, not only about others, but also myself."
She sat down in the sofa with her head in her hands. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I made my way over to the sofa and sat down beside her, trying not to make her feel worse.
My hand reached for one of hers. It didn't drag it down, just comforted it with a soft harmless touch. As my fingers softly touched hers she flinched a little. It hurt to see her like this.. Afraid and in pain.
"I meant what I said.. I'm glad you're still here, not only alive, but also with me.."
Her hands dropped to her lap, dragging mine down with them. Mascara had stained her palms as well, though I didn't not have much time to see before she closed them. I moved my sight from her hand to her eyes to find that she was already looking at me.
"I'm happy that I'm here too.. it's just..."
Her breathing got ragged again, causing me to sit down in front of her. The rug dug into my knees a little, making me regret buying it.
"Marla.. it's okey, just don't have to explain, just relax her with me, be in the now..."
She exhaled slowly while nodding, she was looking down at me where I was kneeling. The position might've looked suggestive for someone who did not know the context, but it felt right in the moment.
"Be in the now?.."
Her eyes looked into mine longingly. I nodded hesitantly, for I didn't know what she was thinking. She leaned her body forward, letting her face come close to mine.
"How can I live in the now if the past always haunts me, if the now isn't good enough to live for?"
Shit... I'm not gonna lie. That was deep..
"The past doesn't define us.. and if we don't like the now, we'll just have to change it... create a new tomorrow.."
I squeezed her hand softly in comfort, knowing I had said enough and it was all up to her to process the words however she needed.
"I guess we will.."
Her hand began cupping my cheek, pulling me up to her.
"Y/n can I kiss you.. please?..."
I wanted to, oh god I wanted to... but her mind was clouded with sorrow. She had a boyfriend... a shitty one, but still..
A tear began to fall from her eye again, I knew that she'd only feel worse if I said yes when things were still complicated between her and Tyler.
My thumb brushed over her cheek to stop the tear, then I dragged it over her bottom lip that had began quivering... (PAIN)
"P-Please... "
Fuck it.
I brought my lips forward, not caring about Tyler, not caring about getting her makeup all over my face, not caring about how wrong it was for me to do so, even if she asked me to...
Our lips touch in an urgent kiss. I could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, but also guilt. I pulled away to clear my head a little, I needed confirmation in another way.
"What about Tyler-"
"fuck Tyler"
She dragged me in by the collar.
- Marla's POV -
I pulled y/n in by their collar, doing what I've wanted to do ever since I saw them enter the meditation room.
How they looked walking in there all lost. I thought it was cute, but our group leader was more irritated at them being late.
"I'm sorry I'm late Ms. Alison, traffic.."
Ms. Alison didn't mind at y/n's late appearance because Chloe, a sad member of our meditation group, had just reached the 3rd minute of her 'I'm so single and need to have sex before I die' speech..
And then they sat down and began suffering with us. They sat two rows in front of me when they first entered, but more and more as time went by they seemed to get closer.. yet not close enough.
We only ever locked eyes when I met them at the coffee table, but I wanted more than that..
And now I was getting it, now I was getting them
- End of Marla's POV -
Her lips on mine felt heavenly, like an angel had been sent down with only a purpose to kiss me.
I moved up the sofa, placing my body on hers, straddling her lap. My hands cupped her cheeks and again I could feel the streaks of dried mascara on them. Guilt entered me once more.
I tried to pull my head back to look at her, I needed reassurance, but her hands clutched my waist and head, pulling me back in with a desperation.
"Don't you dare stop now... I need you.. I'm sure of it"
The words got slightly muffled into our mouths, but I heard them loud and clear.
I need you, I'm sure of it...
Although my guilt was not fully gone, I knew that she needed a distraction of any sort, she needed me..
I kissed her back with the same neediness and passion, earning a moan from her. The hand that had clutched my waist now began to move to my ass, going slightly under the hem of my pants.
My back arched as I felt her nails scratch me up to my back. A smirk could be felt against my lips, she knew how she made me feel.
My hands traveled from her face to her neck and upper body. Her lips left mine as she leaned her head back. They were slightly red and swollen but plastered with a smirk. (Signature Hellie)
I began kissing down her jaw, to behind her ear, then down her pulse line. Small whimpers could be heard and her hand that was holding my head began scraping my scalp pleasingly.
For every kiss and small nibble I gave her she tensed and then relaxed, as if she was new to this sort of pleasure, like she had been robbed of feeling good herself. I put my lips next to her ear, softly whispering..
"I'll make you feel good, but I need you to guide me... I've never.. had sex with a woman before..."
She looked at me with a sort of comfort, yet I could feel she was unsure of what to do exactly. Had I overstepped?
"I don't know how to do that... I've never done that either..."
It shocked me that she'd never had sex with a woman before, forgive me for saying, but she seems like the person who would have experience.. even when Tyler asked for a threesome I'd think I wouldn't live up to their expectations.
(It's really hard to keep it non-binary, is this alright? lovezz_ )
"Then just tell me if it feels good or if you want me to stop... okey?.."
We held eye contact for a little moment before she answered.
"Okey.."
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Okeyyy this is it for the p2, p3 will be smut. (of course)
I just took my first vaccine shot and my arm really hurts, just hope it goes by fast :,|
I hope you liked it and I'll see y'all in the next one, Baii!